# My friend is homeless
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-is-homeless/642754
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [December 2, 2012, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-is-homeless/642754 "2012-12-02T10:55:02Z")
**Posts on this page:** 12
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)
#### Post date: [December 2, 2012, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-is-homeless/642754/1 "2012-12-02T10:55:02Z")
The title says it all.
He’s one of my dearest friends and he has nowhere to go. I can rent a motel room for him for a few days, but that is only a short term solution.
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### Author:  [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)
#### Post date: [December 2, 2012, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-is-homeless/642754/2 "2012-12-02T13:19:25Z")
Are there any relief agencies with shelters, or religious missions? You don’t want to sleep out in the winter.
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### Author:  [@Reply](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reply)
#### Post date: [December 2, 2012, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-is-homeless/642754/3 "2012-12-02T13:32:29Z")
Why is he homeless? How old is he and what did he do right before?
Can he utilize any of the following resources:
Food stamps
Unemployment / unemployment insurance
Credit cards
Credit card benefits for temporary unemployment
Family/friend circles
CouchSurfing
A car
A tent
Loans
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### Author:  [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)
#### Post date: [December 2, 2012, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-is-homeless/642754/4 "2012-12-02T15:09:11Z")
**sahirrnee** , would you be able to tell us your friend’s approximate location (city)?
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### Author:  [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)
#### Post date: [December 2, 2012, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-is-homeless/642754/5 "2012-12-02T15:54:30Z")
> [@EmilyG](#):
>
> **sahirrnee** , would you be able to tell us your friend’s approximate location (city)?
Baltimore
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### Author:  [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)
#### Post date: [December 2, 2012, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-is-homeless/642754/6 "2012-12-02T16:03:50Z")
Why can’t he stay with you for a while? Or with his parents, or siblings, or other friends?
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### Author:  [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)
#### Post date: [December 2, 2012, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-is-homeless/642754/7 "2012-12-02T16:45:59Z")
> [@Reply](#):
>
> Why is he homeless? How old is he and what did he do right before?
> Can he utilize any of the following resources:
> Food stamps
> Unemployment / unemployment insurance
> Credit cards
> Credit card benefits for temporary unemployment
> Family/friend circles
> CouchSurfing
> A car
> A tent
> Loans
He’s 28.
I don’t want to blame him but he has made some poor choices.
He grew up rough, both parents were drug addicts, he doesn’t even know his biological father. He was passed around from relative to relative, sometimes living with his mother, his grandmother, his aunt, or some cousins.
He’s not stupid, but he does do stupid things. He has a record (possession of pot) and no license (traffic violations). Even if he gets his license back he can’t afford a car.
Mostly though, he has trouble finding a job. He still bounces around from family to friend but I think he is running out of options. His family moved to rural Va, no way to get a job there without a car, no way to get a car without a job. He was getting food stamps, I’m not sure if he still is.
He’s had jobs but they’ve always been seasonal work. One place said they would hire him permanently but they didn’t have a position. He moves around a lot, Baltimore, to Va, to Philly, to Detroit and back. Even if a company tried to call him back, by then he has moved on to the next place.
His step-father is a minister of some kind, they have some weird ideas, like he should have gotten married at 18 or 19 because that would settle him down and give him a life. Getting married at 18 got him divorced at 19. How in the hell is getting married is supposed to make his situation better?
It’s hard enough for young men who don’t have records and do have cars to get a job, for him it’s even harder. He’s also a single parent with pretty much full custody. His son’s mother doesn’t want the boy around.
He’s not stupid, he’s not lazy, but he is paying for some poor choices he made.
I don’t want to make excuses for him, then again I don’t want to blame him either. He has screwed up but he never really got a good chance either. This is the first time in 6 years he’s ever asked me for help, so I know he’s desperate.
Today is his son’s birthday. I’ll figure something out for them.
I just don’t want anybody putting him down, yeah he’s done some stupid shit, but who hasn’t? His son has been staying with his maternal grandmother, he’s getting him back today.
He could be on a street corner drinking out of a paper bag and selling drugs. He doesn’t want that, not for himself or his son.
Anyway, I’ve said too much. I’ll help him with what I can, either help him find a place or drive him to where he needs to go. Maybe take him and his son to Chucky Cheese or something.
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### Author:  [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)
#### Post date: [December 2, 2012, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-is-homeless/642754/8 "2012-12-02T17:28:06Z")
Bummer. Hope everything works out.
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### Author:  [@filmore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filmore)
#### Post date: [December 2, 2012, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-is-homeless/642754/9 "2012-12-02T18:45:10Z")
He’s a single parent with custody? I would think there are social services which would help him with support and housing.
Have him setup a [Google Voice](http://www.google.com/voice) number. That way he can always have a consistent phone number no matter where he moves to. You don’t need an actual phone to use it, although you’ll need a real phone number during setup for verification. But after that, it can just act as a voicemail box.
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### Author:  [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)
#### Post date: [December 2, 2012, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-is-homeless/642754/10 "2012-12-02T19:06:27Z")
Well I think everything is going to be okay.
He can stay where he is a few days longer. He’s looking to rent a room in a private house and he has a couple of places to check out tomorrow. He’s in the city so he can get around with public transportation. He may have a job right after Christmas so if he can get by a few more weeks everything is looking up.
I can slip him a few bucks towards his rent and if the job doesn’t come through I’ll take him to Va.
I feel a whole lot better now.
I had another friend who lost his job and ended up homeless. I tried helping him but he was just too stupid with his money and I had to stop.
It’s scary because so many people are living on the edge.
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### Author:  [@Reply](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reply)
#### Post date: [December 2, 2012, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-is-homeless/642754/11 "2012-12-02T19:18:32Z")
> [@sahirrnee](#):
>
> Well I think everything is going to be okay.
>
> He can stay where he is a few days longer. He’s looking to rent a room in a private house and he has a couple of places to check out tomorrow. He’s in the city so he can get around with public transportation. He may have a job right after Christmas so if he can get by a few more weeks everything is looking up.
> I can slip him a few bucks towards his rent and if the job doesn’t come through I’ll take him to Va.
>
> I feel a whole lot better now.
>
> I had another friend who lost his job and ended up homeless. I tried helping him but he was just too stupid with his money and I had to stop.
> It’s scary because so many people are living on the edge.
Well, that’s good news. Glad it seems to be working out.
Yeah, tough world these days…
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### Author:  [@HBomb29](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HBomb29)
#### Post date: [December 3, 2012, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-is-homeless/642754/12 "2012-12-03T14:15:36Z")
Good looking out for him. Friends like you these days are rare.
But I have to warn you, I know a person who had a similar situation who took in a friend but he ended up staying there for almost a year. Caused a lot of strife between him and his wife. People have to learn how to prepare for things like these financially. It’s hard to teach them this habit but it’s like that teach a person how to fish saying.