# My friend is sleeping now. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 9, 2012, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-is-sleeping-now/608870 "2012-01-09T00:13:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![gwendee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@gwendee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gwendee)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-is-sleeping-now/608870/41 "2012-01-09T12:45:36Z")
My heart goes out to you. Thanks for the pictures. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-is-sleeping-now/608870/42 "2012-01-09T12:57:03Z")
So sorry about the loss of your sweet kitty. I know exactly what you mean about cats adopting people. My friend’s cat, Xing, adopted me a few years back. Now she’ll hop in my lap and give me kisses, then demand to be petted by looking at me with this “Pet me or I’ll scratch your face off” stare. Believe me, I pet her. Animals really do increase the quality of our life. I feel sorry for people who don’t, or can’t, have them. ---
**Author:** ![KinkiNipponTourist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e9bcb4/32.png) [@KinkiNipponTourist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KinkiNipponTourist)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-is-sleeping-now/608870/43 "2012-01-09T13:00:30Z")
Baw haw! I love it that Max was intended as a gift to your husband, but he decided that you were his pet instead. And it sounds like he took very good care of you. Aww, he is adorable. What a wonderful cat. ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-is-sleeping-now/608870/44 "2012-01-09T13:02:57Z")
☹ He looks just like my own Max. I’m so sorry… ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-is-sleeping-now/608870/45 "2012-01-09T14:02:42Z")
> [@picunurse](#): > > I know I’m describing every cat in the world, but he was special to me. You’ve been very eloquent. I’m full-on crying here for Max, and all the others I’ve loved and lost. I’m so sorry that you have to go through this. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-is-sleeping-now/608870/46 "2012-01-09T20:11:53Z")
I’m so sorry. He sounds like such a great kitty. You’ve given him a lovely tribute here. ---
**Author:** ![truthbot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@truthbot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/truthbot)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-is-sleeping-now/608870/47 "2012-01-09T20:40:37Z")
So sorry you lost your beloved Max. It’s so painful to lose a family member, I hope the sting of his loss is tempered by good memories until such time the memories outweigh the pain. RIP Max. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-is-sleeping-now/608870/48 "2012-01-09T20:45:05Z")
Whether they go quickly or slowly, the pain of loss is no less. We are still mourning the departure of our pet last August and can’t bring ourselves to visit a shelter and see all those little faces wanting to be our friends. You have my sympathies. ---
**Author:** ![LurkerInNJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@LurkerInNJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkerInNJ)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-is-sleeping-now/608870/49 "2012-01-09T21:51:31Z")
I’m sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![nonacetone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonacetone/32/2819_2.png) [@nonacetone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nonacetone)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-is-sleeping-now/608870/50 "2012-01-09T22:34:17Z")
I’m so very sorry for your loss. You have my most sincere condolences. ---
**Author:** ![Lukeinva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lukeinva/32/17872_2.png) [@Lukeinva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lukeinva)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-is-sleeping-now/608870/51 "2012-01-09T22:40:27Z")
☹ ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-is-sleeping-now/608870/52 "2012-01-09T23:25:41Z")
I’m sorry for your loss. Losing a kitty is never easy. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![ptr2void](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ptr2void/32/3406_2.png) [@ptr2void](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ptr2void)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-is-sleeping-now/608870/53 "2012-01-09T23:38:53Z")
I’m so sorry, picunurse and family. I just gave my kitties some love after reading this, thinking how devastated I would be if they weren’t here. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![slightly\_askew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d07c76/32.png) [@slightly\_askew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slightly_askew)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-is-sleeping-now/608870/54 "2012-01-10T01:09:35Z")
So sorry to hear of your loss. Max was a beautiful kitty. ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-is-sleeping-now/608870/55 "2012-01-10T03:08:55Z")
> [@picunurse](#): > > I know I’m describing every cat in the world, but he was special to me. No, you are describing Max and only Max. That is a good thing. Keep those good memories. And many thanks to Cassie for sharing her love when you are grieving. Not all cats do that. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-is-sleeping-now/608870/56 "2012-01-10T03:26:35Z")
I’m so sorry, **picu**. Max was a good looking guy, and I’m glad you got to spend time with each other. I’m sure he was just as happy to know you as you were to know him. ---
**Author:** ![pohjonen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pohjonen/32/423_2.png) [@pohjonen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pohjonen)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-is-sleeping-now/608870/57 "2012-01-10T03:39:38Z")
So sorry. I feel your pain. I’m still missing [Fluffy.](http://www.flickr.com/photos/58334498@N05/6671019009/in/photostream) Made me tearful even after several years just to post her picture. Cats sure worm there way into our hearts, don’t they? Hug your other kitties. I think that helps. ---
**Author:** ![cerberus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cerberus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cerberus)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-is-sleeping-now/608870/58 "2012-01-10T03:40:42Z")
It hurts. Sudden death, hurts. Long decline, hurts. Die unassisted, hurts. Die assisted with ambiguity, hurts. Die assisted without ambiguity, hurts. You do your best by your cat, cherish the good, mourn the loss. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-is-sleeping-now/608870/59 "2012-01-10T08:20:57Z")
> [@cerberus](#): > > It hurts. > > Sudden death, hurts. > > Long decline, hurts. > > Die unassisted, hurts. > > Die assisted with ambiguity, hurts. > > Die assisted without ambiguity, hurts. > > You do your best by your cat, cherish the good, mourn the loss. Everything you said is correct. I think Max’s going so unexpectedly while so healthy makes me second guess myself. Every time I’ve thought about him today, my mind goes to what I might have done differently. If only I’d turned around when I heard the thump that I thought was him jumping down. Maybe I should have done CPR longer. What if I’d given him bigger breaths. I’ve even thought, what if he wasn’t really dead. (I know he was, I listened for a full minute. He was cold and blue.) I’ve haunted the other kitties today. Everytime one of them makes a sound, I go make sure they’re ok. I know time will make this easier, but right now… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-is-sleeping-now/608870.md?page=2)