# My friend just brought the coolest thing a bachelor could buy **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 15, 2002, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-just-brought-the-coolest-thing-a-bachelor-could-buy/103791 "2002-04-15T18:38:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Briminator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ba9def/32.png) [@Briminator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briminator)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2002, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-just-brought-the-coolest-thing-a-bachelor-could-buy/103791/1 "2002-04-15T18:38:46Z")
Note how I say bachelor, any sane person would not buy this. And I mean sane as in having enough sense to not do something stupid, as a guy it is very hard to not do something stupid at least once a day. If I had a girlfriend/wife I would actually be able to function in society better than usual which boils down to “Huh?” or “cool”. Any-hoo my friend decided to go to a flea market and buy some stuff, flea markets are the best place to go to buy stuff, that is all they sell. And he picks up a hot air balloon. A full size, bright red hot air balloon. For $50. I’m sooooooo jealous. Of course the balloon needs a couple of things, such as a basket and “One of those flamethrower thingies”. It filled up his car, and now it fills up his house. I want one soooooo bad. He plans on flying it one day. Off of his roof. In Philadelphia. ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2002, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-just-brought-the-coolest-thing-a-bachelor-could-buy/103791/2 "2002-04-15T18:43:13Z")
You might want to keep a video camera and the email address for the Darwin Awards handy. You might as well make a buck or two off him if he decides to try it. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ferrous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Ferrous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferrous)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2002, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-just-brought-the-coolest-thing-a-bachelor-could-buy/103791/3 "2002-04-15T19:06:06Z")
_Dude!_ I have an oxy-acetylene torch rig and a large nylon loading basket. Maybe your friend and I should get together. Anybody have some rope? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![My\_Darn\_Snake\_Legs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f14d63/32.png) [@My\_Darn\_Snake\_Legs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/My_Darn_Snake_Legs)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2002, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-just-brought-the-coolest-thing-a-bachelor-could-buy/103791/4 "2002-04-15T19:12:28Z")
Man, and I thought that my roomie and I were cool for having the lights in the living room on remote-control… \ ---
**Author:** ![Lux\_Fiat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bc79bd/32.png) [@Lux\_Fiat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lux_Fiat)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2002, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-just-brought-the-coolest-thing-a-bachelor-could-buy/103791/5 "2002-04-15T19:19:37Z")
I think it’s an unfair burden to place on womankind, assuming that any one of them could save this man from himself. They are, after all, only human beings. It’s irrelevant anyway; this man does not need saving. He needs a grant. ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2002, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-just-brought-the-coolest-thing-a-bachelor-could-buy/103791/6 "2002-04-15T19:37:18Z")
I’ve got 250 yards of parachute cord. Will that do? Unfortunately, Jenn has denied me the priviledge in joining the test flight. Something about “paying the bills”, or some-such married non-sense. ---
**Author:** ![Briminator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ba9def/32.png) [@Briminator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briminator)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2002, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-just-brought-the-coolest-thing-a-bachelor-could-buy/103791/7 "2002-04-15T19:40:29Z")
> [@](#): > > Man, and I thought that my roomie and I were cool for having the lights in > the living room on remote-control… \ I know that is why I’m so jealous, my house if full of amazing stuff it is a friggin’ bachelor uber-pad. But know I dunno now it seems so insignificant. He has a totally useless thing taking up tons of space in his house, he can tinker with it, it needs a friggin flamethrower. And it flies. What more do you need? And I’m sure (pretty sure) that it is a total babe magnet. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2002, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-just-brought-the-coolest-thing-a-bachelor-could-buy/103791/8 "2002-04-15T19:54:25Z")
I’m speechless. $50?!? He has every justification, NAY, he has the DUTY to go to the nearest architectural salvage store, buy an old bathtub, contact Ferrous, rig it up with his parachute cord, and fire it up. This is just screaming out “Fourth of July” all over it. ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2002, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-just-brought-the-coolest-thing-a-bachelor-could-buy/103791/9 "2002-04-15T19:56:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Briminator \* > \*\*He has a totally useless thing taking up tons of space in his house, he can tinker with it, it needs a friggin flamethrower. And it flies. What more do you need? And I’m sure (pretty sure) that it is a total babe magnet. \*\* I don’t suppose your friend is Riff, from [Sluggy Freelance](http://www.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=020110), is he? ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2002, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-just-brought-the-coolest-thing-a-bachelor-could-buy/103791/10 "2002-04-15T20:04:28Z")
Anyone else picture some kind of huge recliner, with a flat panel TV/VCR/PC on one arm and a frig built into the bottom? ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2002, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-just-brought-the-coolest-thing-a-bachelor-could-buy/103791/11 "2002-04-15T22:20:06Z")
my first thought, when reading the title was “a mail order bride?” now i am wondering how soon i can get out of philly…? ---
**Author:** ![Kamandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5daacb/32.png) [@Kamandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamandi)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2002, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-just-brought-the-coolest-thing-a-bachelor-could-buy/103791/12 "2002-04-15T22:59:40Z")
If you can’t manage **Ferrous** ’s oxy-acetylene rig, tell your friend to get himself one of those propane burners used to deep-fry a turkey. Heck, any self-respecting dangerously handy crank ought to have one of those lying around, anyway. Better make it two. Strap a half-dozen gas barbecue propane tanks to the bottom of a lawn chair and you’re halfway to Canada, my friend! Make sure to use plenty of duct tape! ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2002, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-just-brought-the-coolest-thing-a-bachelor-could-buy/103791/13 "2002-04-16T00:15:32Z")
_My_ first thought was, “I didn’t think **Scylla** ’s [Chair of Ultimate Power](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=38475&highlight=chair) was for sale.” And I have to agree with **Kamandi** that a lawn chair is superior to a basket for this particular adventure. I know it’s been done before, but it still has serious cachet. ---
**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2002, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-just-brought-the-coolest-thing-a-bachelor-could-buy/103791/14 "2002-04-16T01:37:10Z")
Tell your friend to see: [http://www.hotairship.com/ebaa/](http://www.hotairship.com/ebaa/) and, in Philadelphia, look out for ground fire from the cops! ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2002, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-just-brought-the-coolest-thing-a-bachelor-could-buy/103791/15 "2002-04-16T01:52:36Z")
Surely every self-respecting bachelor has one of those jet-powered beer coolers? Maybe he could modify that. Also, in true Darwinian fashion, how could he even consider using a _basket_? Not nearly cool enough. Use a sofa instead. Maybe dangle a little TV out on a boom, and then he could sit there with a beer and the remote as he wafts gracefully over the suburbs… ---
**Author:** ![chique](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@chique](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chique)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2002, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-just-brought-the-coolest-thing-a-bachelor-could-buy/103791/16 "2002-04-16T04:36:57Z")
Hrm. If I bring the oxy-acetylene set up AND some hay bale twine (no rope, sorry, but the twine should do), can I join in on the maiden voyage? Please? PRETTY PLEASE??? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mooney252](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7c8e57/32.png) [@Mooney252](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mooney252)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2002, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-just-brought-the-coolest-thing-a-bachelor-could-buy/103791/17 "2002-04-16T08:20:17Z")
You and your friend might want to learn from Larry Walters experience: [http://www.markbarry.com/amazing/lawnchairman.html](http://www.markbarry.com/amazing/lawnchairman.html)