# My friend just got robbed **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 20, 2012, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-just-got-robbed/641588 "2012-11-20T05:23:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2012, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-just-got-robbed/641588/21 "2012-11-20T15:42:30Z")
Unless he’s the _only_ other person who might know the code, it’s pretty slim evidence, to me. Was the entry to the house unlocked? Was the money in the garage? If either is true, your friend should be thanking the universe for a pretty cheap life lesson on securing his home, I’d say. Having him over to see if he acts guilty is a horrible idea. He’s a twitchy addict to start with, and you both seem convinced it _must_ be him. You’re not going to be able to, ‘see’, anything but your own projections, I think. Leave police work to the police. Step back and let things lie. Wait until you are less emotional about this, to come to any conclusions. ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2012, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-just-got-robbed/641588/22 "2012-11-20T15:43:35Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > Do not, either you or your friend, turn on Rich. You can stop having him by the house, as his circumstances have caused you to be distrustful of him. But to convict him before you are certain, is foolish. Perhaps it was one of his druggie friends even. Not the point. > > Let the police investigate the crime. They will be much better at it than you both. Give them time for a thorough investigation and see what shakes out, before making up your mind. If the investigation is inconclusive, try not to blame Rich. > > It’s not just addicts who commit crimes of opportunity. Some sticky fingered others may have simply picked up on the fact there was an addict in and out of the place, and recognized that anything getting stolen, would surely get blamed on him. > > Don’t be sure you ‘know’ just yet. Try not to let your emotions over ride your reason. What you do ‘know’ is that, rightly or wrongly, you’ve lost trust in your addict friend. That’s enough for you to keep him away from the place, in future. > > Does the Mom have caregivers or cleaning ladies coming in? No she does not. Believe me, I really don’t want it to be Rich. He’s been one of my best friends for a long time. Even more than Bill. It just seems so suspicious. He’s the only one we know who knew the code, has no job, no money, and a drug problem. Plus the thief was considerate in some ways. He didn’t trash the place. Only stole some things and left others. One big thing he left was a gun that would’ve been in plain sight. It just seems very convenient for it to be him. Otherwise, we have no clue. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2012, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-just-got-robbed/641588/23 "2012-11-20T17:49:48Z")
> [@Scotty Mo](#): > > Cops have already been called. There really isn’t anything I can do but lend my friend some support. I’m stuck on this. You mean the police aren’t interested in investigating this robbery? Seriously? ---
**Author:** ![ed\_anger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bbce88/32.png) [@ed\_anger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ed_anger)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2012, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-just-got-robbed/641588/24 "2012-11-20T17:55:42Z")
this is what happens when family members/friends are hard-core addicted, i’ve had it happen to me. it’s Rich. ---
**Author:** ![Turble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Turble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turble)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2012, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-just-got-robbed/641588/25 "2012-11-20T18:13:50Z")
The police investigation most likely consists of no more than writing a report. Check the local pawn shops and “We buy gold” places to see if the jewelry shows up – if it does, the police will have something to work with. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2012, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-just-got-robbed/641588/26 "2012-11-20T18:34:47Z")
> [@Desert\_Nomad](#): > > $1100 is not much to keep at home. I normally keep at least $5000 at home (in various currencies). Why? ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2012, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-just-got-robbed/641588/27 "2012-11-20T18:40:02Z")
There’s a good chance nothing will ever be recovered. The police may catch the perpetrators, but the money is already spent, the jewelry may have been given to an unknown third party (like the drug dealer). But as mentioned above, the pawn shops can be checked. I know someone who’s wedding ring was stolen from her home. She was able to recover it by going to a local pawn shop and offering to buy it ‘no questions asked’ if it was found. ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2012, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-just-got-robbed/641588/28 "2012-11-20T19:20:49Z")
> [@ed\_anger](#): > > this is what happens when family members/friends are hard-core addicted, i’ve had it happen to me. it’s Rich. This is what I’m most worried about. I just have a hard time believing he would do something like this. We’re the only friends he’s got around here. Why would he do something like this? Because if it wasn’t him, then what? There’s only about 6 friends who might know the code, but they all have jobs during the day with no significant drug problems or motive to do something like this. Other than that, it would be just a complete random stranger, which seems unlikely with the way it was done. I’m not sure how to handle this situation either. Do I confront Rich? Turn my back on him? Help him? ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2012, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-just-got-robbed/641588/29 "2012-11-20T19:39:01Z")
> [@Scotty Mo](#): > > Because if it wasn’t him, then what? There’s only about 6 friends who might know the code, So, at a minimum, Bill has 8 people outside the home who know the code to get into it? That’s a lot. ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2012, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-just-got-robbed/641588/30 "2012-11-20T19:53:12Z")
> [@Enderw24](#): > > So, at a minimum, Bill has 8 people outside the home who know the code to get into it? > > That’s a lot. Well, 7. That I know of. I did not know the code. But everybody else was at work during the day and are not hard up for money or drugs. ---
**Author:** ![ed\_anger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bbce88/32.png) [@ed\_anger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ed_anger)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2012, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-just-got-robbed/641588/31 "2012-11-20T20:01:06Z")
> [@Scotty Mo](#): > > This is what I’m most worried about. I just have a hard time believing he would do something like this. We’re the only friends he’s got around here. Why would he do something like this? > > Because if it wasn’t him, then what? There’s only about 6 friends who might know the code, but they all have jobs during the day with no significant drug problems or motive to do something like this. Other than that, it would be just a complete random stranger, which seems unlikely with the way it was done. > > I’m not sure how to handle this situation either. Do I confront Rich? Turn my back on him? Help him? you have to understand addicts. if someone is a real addict, then everyone around them becomes a means to score more drugs, the drugs are the only real goal in their life. so eventually all barriers like personal property disappear, they will sell anything they can get their hands on at all and feel completely justified. my sister did just this to my family. the only thing you can do is try to get him to go to rehab, if he really is at that stage. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2012, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-just-got-robbed/641588/32 "2012-11-20T20:06:50Z")
First - your friend should not have **anyone** who knows the code. :smack: Second - addicts will do what it takes to feed their addiction. That’s part and parcel of being an addict. ---
**Author:** ![FlyByNight512](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/82dd89/32.png) [@FlyByNight512](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyByNight512)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2012, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-just-got-robbed/641588/33 "2012-11-20T20:44:16Z")
> [@Scotty Mo](#): > > I’m not sure how to handle this situation either. Do I confront Rich? Turn my back on him? Help him? IMHO, just continue to be his friend. He stole from Bill, not you, so the legal stuff is between them and the cops. It’s not your role to confront him, especially if there’s an investigation in the works. Encourage him to go to rehab and be supportive of efforts to get clean, but don’t make that the entirety of your interactions with him. Don’t give him money or access to your stuff. The more Rich can be a normal person and do normal person things, the better. He needs friends right now. But don’t enable the addiction. All that said, if you feel it’s not safe to have Rich around, or that you can’t deal with his problems, that would be a valid reason to cut him out of your life. Hopefully it doesn’t come to that, but it happens pretty often with addicts. ---
**Author:** ![SmellMyWort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SmellMyWort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmellMyWort)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2012, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-just-got-robbed/641588/34 "2012-11-20T20:44:46Z")
If Bill thinks it’s Rich he should follow him and see if he hits up any pawn shops. Then go in after he leaves and see what he pawned. Or you could mention the robbery to Rich and make up a story about the police finding evidence of some sort. That might make Rich sweat a bit if he’s guilty. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2012, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-just-got-robbed/641588/35 "2012-11-20T20:55:00Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > I’m stuck on this. You mean the police aren’t interested in investigating this robbery? Seriously? For the record, this is a burglary. A robbery is a theft using force or threat of force. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2012, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-just-got-robbed/641588/36 "2012-11-20T20:56:11Z")
If he is an active addict, then he is not your friend. He is not capa ble of b eing or having friends, only of feeding his addiction. The sooner you realize this, the better. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2012, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-just-got-robbed/641588/37 "2012-11-20T21:49:42Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > First - your friend should not have **anyone** who knows the code. :smack: No kidding. Nobody deserves to get robbed, but you don’t have to make it so easy for the robber. The only people who need that code are the ones who live there. ---
**Author:** ![Iggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iggy/32/3364_2.png) [@Iggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iggy)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2012, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-just-got-robbed/641588/38 "2012-11-20T22:10:13Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > For the record, this is a burglary. A robbery is a theft using force or threat of force. And a cold burglary at that. Unless a suspect is seen as the burglary is happening and there is someone to chase _right now_ then burglaries usually get a bit of a delayed response. It is more of an incident for the detectives than the patrol officers. Do not invite the suspect friend over. The fewer opportunities he has to legitimately place his fingerprints all over, the better. ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2012, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-just-got-robbed/641588/39 "2012-11-20T22:54:17Z")
> [@Iggy](#): > > And a cold burglary at that. Unless a suspect is seen as the burglary is happening and there is someone to chase _right now_ then burglaries usually get a bit of a delayed response. It is more of an incident for the detectives than the patrol officers. > > Do not invite the suspect friend over. The fewer opportunities he has to legitimately place his fingerprints all over, the better. Guess thats what you call fighting ignorance. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2012, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-just-got-robbed/641588/40 "2012-11-20T23:18:14Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > For the record, this is a burglary. A robbery is a theft using force or threat of force. Yes. It really bugs me when people refer to “burglaries” as “robberies”. They both can involve theft, but otherwise they are very different things–so this isn’t just a pedantic rant about people confusing similar words. A robbery consists of a threat of violence (and sometimes not just a threat) against a person. A burglary does not. I came into this thread concerned that a friend of yours had gone through an experience that might have been terrifying. Instead I find out that he/she just got separated from some possessions. It sucks to have stuff stolen from you, but, sorry to say, a thread about burglary just doesn’t have the gravity of a thread about robbery. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-just-got-robbed/641588.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-just-got-robbed/641588.md?page=3)