# My friend may be asking a question of President Bush **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [March 16, 2006, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-may-be-asking-a-question-of-president-bush/348596 "2006-03-16T14:06:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2006, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-may-be-asking-a-question-of-president-bush/348596/1 "2006-03-16T14:06:09Z")
My friend and colleague Diane will be in the audience when President Bush speaks to the City Club of Cleveland this Monday, March 20. It’s been announced that there will be a Q&A session. What question would you suggest she ask? One per Doper, please. Some guidelines. The question must be: - respectful (not a rant) - short and to the point (not a speech) - based on fact or reasonable inference - allow the President as little “wiggle room” as possible in his answer I offer no guarantees that Diane will be chosen from out of the audience by the President, or that she will ask _your_ question (she doesn’t know I’m doing this yet). But I welcome your suggestions. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2006, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-may-be-asking-a-question-of-president-bush/348596/2 "2006-03-16T14:12:53Z")
Many people believe that you are the devil incarnate, how do you deal with this Oh Dark One? ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2006, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-may-be-asking-a-question-of-president-bush/348596/3 "2006-03-16T14:15:52Z")
“Dear God, sir! Have you no shame? In the final analysis, have you no sense of shame?” Alternatively: “Why the hell did you run in the first place?” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2006, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-may-be-asking-a-question-of-president-bush/348596/4 "2006-03-16T14:15:54Z")
> [@don't ask](#): > > Many people believe that you are the devil incarnate, how do you deal with this Oh Dark One? Har de har. See the guidelines, bub. I want to help Diane, not waste her time. ---
**Author:** ![BarnOwl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e95f7d/32.png) [@BarnOwl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BarnOwl)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2006, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-may-be-asking-a-question-of-president-bush/348596/5 "2006-03-16T14:16:54Z")
We have a law against torture, but you insist it doesn’t apply to you. How can you justify such a position when you took an oath to enforce the laws of the land? ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2006, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-may-be-asking-a-question-of-president-bush/348596/6 "2006-03-16T14:21:44Z")
> [@BarnOwl](#): > > We have a law against torture, but you insist it doesn’t apply to you. How can you justify such a position when you took an oath to enforce the laws of the land? Pfft. I can answer this one. 1. What we did/do wasn’t/isn’t torture. As such, those laws don’t apply. 2. We’re in a war, and wars make everything different. Even if we were torturing people, which we’re not, it illegal. Next question? -Joe ---
**Author:** ![BarnOwl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e95f7d/32.png) [@BarnOwl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BarnOwl)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2006, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-may-be-asking-a-question-of-president-bush/348596/7 "2006-03-16T14:26:14Z")
Follow up question… If a + b = 3, and a equals 1, what does b equal? ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2006, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-may-be-asking-a-question-of-president-bush/348596/8 "2006-03-16T14:27:05Z")
> [@Elendil's Heir](#): > > My friend and colleague Diane will be in the audience when President Bush speaks to the City Club of Cleveland this Monday, March 20. It’s been announced that there will be a Q&A session. > > What question would you suggest she ask? One per Doper, please. > > Some guidelines. The question must be: > > - respectful (not a rant) > - short and to the point (not a speech) > - based on fact or reasonable inference > - allow the President as little “wiggle room” as possible in his answer > > I offer no guarantees that Diane will be chosen from out of the audience by the President, or that she will ask _your_ question (she doesn’t know I’m doing this yet). But I welcome your suggestions. I’m sorry to be cynical, but I expect: - all questions will be vetted - only certain questions will be chosen - all answers will be prepared, complete with the usual techniques\* - no followup will be allowed \*Politicians prefer to have stooges ask questions. (What are your greatest achievements in office?) They will answer with slogans. (Is Iraq a mess? We are fighting a war on terrorism.) They will pick on a specific word in the question. (Is Iraq a **complete** mess? No, we have achieved certain things.) They will answer a different question. (Are you ashamed of the war in Iraq? I am proud of our troops.) Having warned you, she could try: - did God tell you to invade Iraq? - do you personally believe in evolution? - could you have handled the Hurrican Katrina crisis better? - what would it take for you to fire Karl Rove? ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2006, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-may-be-asking-a-question-of-president-bush/348596/9 "2006-03-16T14:28:24Z")
Unless she gets a follow up, then who cares? He’ll just babble something vague about freedom or terrorism, even if it has nothing to do with the question and move on. ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2006, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-may-be-asking-a-question-of-president-bush/348596/10 "2006-03-16T14:30:59Z")
You can bet that questions will have to be submitted beforehand. Any question that would be tough or reflect badly on POTUS wil be screened, and quite possibly the person submitting it will be detained by the secret service asking pointed questions along the lines of “Why do you hate America?”. And they won’t be being sarcastic. I bet all the questions will be something like “How do you stay so fit and trim given all you enormous responsibilities?” ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2006, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-may-be-asking-a-question-of-president-bush/348596/11 "2006-03-16T14:32:23Z")
Providing, of course, that the people who will be allowed to ask questions have not already been hand-picked and coached, here is what will most likely happen: 1. If her question is one he is trained to answer, she will get the prepared answer. 2. If the question is one he _hasn’t_ been coached on, he will either: A. Pretend he didn’t hear the question and move on, or B. Give an answer that has nothing to do with the question, or C. Get off the script and flub it like the master debater he is. ---
**Author:** ![SentientMeat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SentientMeat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SentientMeat)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2006, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-may-be-asking-a-question-of-president-bush/348596/12 "2006-03-16T14:34:07Z")
Mr. President, I feel very honoured to be in a position to ask you a question like this. Why don’t you accept unscripted questions from the press regularly, like the leaders of other democracies? ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2006, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-may-be-asking-a-question-of-president-bush/348596/13 "2006-03-16T14:37:54Z")
With whom do you discuss your religious beliefs? ---
**Author:** ![BarnOwl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e95f7d/32.png) [@BarnOwl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BarnOwl)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2006, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-may-be-asking-a-question-of-president-bush/348596/14 "2006-03-16T14:39:25Z")
> [@Merijeek](#): > > Pfft. I can answer this one. > > 1. What we did/do wasn’t/isn’t torture. As such, those laws don’t apply. > > 2. We’re in a war, and wars make everything different. Even if we were torturing people, which we’re not, it illegal. > > Next question? > > -Joe **Barn Ow.l** (_Whiningly_)Objection! Your Honor, **Merijeek** didn’t ask a question **His Honor.**. (_Resignedly_)Merijek, ask the president a question. **Merijeek.**. (_Slyly_)Can I take a slightly different tack? **His Honor.**. (_Judiciously_)Try us. \*\*Merijeek. \*\*. (_Ludicrously_)Mr. President. Write us a theme on the topic What I did on my 300-days of vacations while President of the USA. **President**. (Unimpeachably) How do you spell computer games? ---
**Author:** ![Rashak\_Mani](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rashak\_Mani](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rashak_Mani)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2006, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-may-be-asking-a-question-of-president-bush/348596/15 "2006-03-16T14:43:29Z")
You can always trick him into exposing his undemocratic ways… “Mr. President, if you could stay in office for the next 20 years… how would America look like at the end of that period ?” ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2006, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-may-be-asking-a-question-of-president-bush/348596/16 "2006-03-16T14:45:33Z")
Could you give us an estimate on when you’ll be considering announcing your intention to study the prospect of formulating a timetable for withdrawal of our troops from Iraq? ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2006, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-may-be-asking-a-question-of-president-bush/348596/17 "2006-03-16T15:04:31Z")
Mr. President, what is your estimate of the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2006, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-may-be-asking-a-question-of-president-bush/348596/18 "2006-03-16T15:36:31Z")
Where do babies come from? ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2006, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-may-be-asking-a-question-of-president-bush/348596/19 "2006-03-16T15:47:03Z")
“Seriously dude, what the fuck?” –Cliffy ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2006, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-may-be-asking-a-question-of-president-bush/348596/20 "2006-03-16T16:03:43Z")
Would you care for a pretzel? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friend-may-be-asking-a-question-of-president-bush/348596.md?page=2)