# My friends are getting married and here I am. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 14, 2010, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friends-are-getting-married-and-here-i-am/564133 "2010-12-14T16:44:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2010, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friends-are-getting-married-and-here-i-am/564133/21 "2010-12-14T20:05:34Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > I am in no mood to do so, in fact I am happy with life now. Work hard, play hard no commitments outside of professional and family. But and this is the important point, everyone who I know got married, had the same outlook, yet they changed. I suppose it is inevitable, and doubtless I will change as well, however to the more experienced dopers, how the hell does this happen? Is it an event? A process? And its so…grown up. Learn to accept the fact that your friends are in a different setting now. People in couples live differently than single people. You can still be friends but things aren’t the same anymore. And it’s not over yet. The next wave will be when your friends start having children. Then you and your married friends can get together and talk about how neither of you can relate anymore to your friends that have become parents. ---
**Author:** ![Prelude\_to\_Fascination](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Prelude\_to\_Fascination](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prelude_to_Fascination)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friends-are-getting-married-and-here-i-am/564133/22 "2010-12-15T02:05:02Z")
> [@corkboard](#): > > \*\*When I was 26, I was happily dating different girls with no desire to settle down with any of them, or with anyone for a long time. \*\* When I was 27, an old girlfriend reappeared in my life, and suddenly it was time- she was the one. One day I woke up and realized I didn’t want to date around anymore, because I was only interested in her, and knew then that it would be forever. Sixteen years later, I still feel that way. > > The point being, it might happen to you the same way, when you least expect it. Until then, enjoy yourself. > > Oh- and the “ball and chain” and “prison” references? \*So \*played. Really. :rolleyes: What a coincidence. One of my coworkers is 26, and I overheard him saying almost the exact thing (bolded part) today. Something about he’s enjoying the time with the girl he’s dating, but simply doesn’t want to get married now. Of course, he’s not discounting getting married in the future, and that’s okay. As others have said, the urge to settle down hits different people at different times. Do your best to be healthy, happy, and try not to hurt others. ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friends-are-getting-married-and-here-i-am/564133/23 "2010-12-15T03:22:15Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > You may feel it, but you aren’t. Nobody is taking you seriously until you’re at least 30. Maybe 35. No offense, but that’s the rule. That’s all right. I don’t take over the hill bachelors pushing 50 from the wrong end seriously either. No offense, of course. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friends-are-getting-married-and-here-i-am/564133/24 "2010-12-15T04:04:03Z")
> [@nikonikosuru](#): > > Whoosh! Yup, in my defense, it was at 2 am. ---
**Author:** ![Gestalt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/90ced4/32.png) [@Gestalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gestalt)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friends-are-getting-married-and-here-i-am/564133/25 "2010-12-15T05:10:18Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > Yup, in my defense, it was at 2 am. The original misspelling or the whoosh? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friends-are-getting-married-and-here-i-am/564133/26 "2010-12-15T05:56:14Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > Yup, in my defense, it was at 2 am. Heh heh heh - I don’t usually get people that good. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friends-are-getting-married-and-here-i-am/564133/27 "2010-12-15T10:27:03Z")
> [@lindsaybluth](#): > > That’s all right. I don’t take over the hill bachelors pushing 50 from the wrong end seriously either. > > No offense, of course. :::clap clap clap clap clap ::: (I’m about half way between both your ages, which must make me a genius) ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friends-are-getting-married-and-here-i-am/564133/28 "2010-12-15T12:18:56Z")
Its funny, also, how your circle of friends can influence what you think is normal. My friend L, got married at about 26. “Omigod, she’s getting married so **young** ” I thought. She was the first of my friends to get married. However, L was the last of _her_ friends to get married. In her mind, she waited _forever_. Anyway, so, most of my friends got married in their early 30s. I think 26 is pretty young for marriage. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friends-are-getting-married-and-here-i-am/564133/29 "2010-12-15T18:07:53Z")
> [@Prelude\_to\_Fascination](#): > > …My advice is don’t lose sleep over it. Be happy for your friends who’re getting engaged and married. More of my money’s on you finding someone, somewhere, sometime you’ll want to spend the rest of your life with, and you’ll be one of “them”. And it’ll be okay. > > Five cents please. 🙂 Excellent advice, and worth twice what he’s charging you! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friends-are-getting-married-and-here-i-am/564133.md?page=1)