# My friend's husband is dying and I can't send flowers **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 2, 2020, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friends-husband-is-dying-and-i-cant-send-flowers/850909 "2020-04-02T20:05:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ratatoskK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ratatoskk/32/2987_2.png) [@ratatoskK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratatoskK)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2020, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friends-husband-is-dying-and-i-cant-send-flowers/850909/1 "2020-04-02T20:05:47Z")
My friend’s husband is dying and I can’t send flowers because of this damn covid-19 epidemic, and the florists are all closed. In know that in the scope of things this isn’t a big deal, but it just seems so sad to me. I agree they should be closed, but this is just so sad. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2020, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friends-husband-is-dying-and-i-cant-send-flowers/850909/2 "2020-04-02T20:16:35Z")
I am so sorry. You are right, very sad indeed. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2020, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friends-husband-is-dying-and-i-cant-send-flowers/850909/3 "2020-04-02T21:01:32Z")
Send a toilet paper bouquet. > **[Blossom Events & Florist](https://www.blossomeventsflorist.com/product/5e6cfb3c372ed5.04931/toilet-paper-bouquet-)** > > Nothing Says I love you like this Dozen 2ply Extra Strength Softness Bouquet. > Show Someone Special Some Love. > Unique and Fabulous TP Bouquet Order Toilet Paper Bouquet Roses from Blossom Events & Florist - Trumann, AR Florist & Flower... ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2020, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friends-husband-is-dying-and-i-cant-send-flowers/850909/4 "2020-04-02T21:51:59Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > Send a toilet paper bouquet. > > [Toilet Paper Bouquet Roses in Trumann, AR - Blossom Events & Florist](https://www.blossomeventsflorist.com/product/5e6cfb3c372ed5.04931/toilet-paper-bouquet-) This really isn’t the time or place for humor; however, if the OP can’t send flowers, s/he should find out what they like to eat, and have a meal delivered. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2020, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friends-husband-is-dying-and-i-cant-send-flowers/850909/5 "2020-04-02T23:21:02Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > Send a toilet paper bouquet. > > [Toilet Paper Bouquet Roses in Trumann, AR - Blossom Events & Florist](https://www.blossomeventsflorist.com/product/5e6cfb3c372ed5.04931/toilet-paper-bouquet-) Why the fuck would you think it’s funny to send a gag gift to someone whose spouse is dying? ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2020, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friends-husband-is-dying-and-i-cant-send-flowers/850909/6 "2020-04-03T01:20:14Z")
Well, I was going to post a longer response, but it sounds like some folks are getting ugly. To the OP, I am so sorry you can’t send flowers, maybe a gift to a charity, in their name?☹ ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2020, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friends-husband-is-dying-and-i-cant-send-flowers/850909/7 "2020-04-03T01:56:49Z")
I am sending e-cards to people for all sorts of reasons (sympathy / birthday / congratulations / thinking of you etc.) P.S. I have no connection with the above mentioned site - I’ve just used them for years. P.P.S. And I agree the ‘joke’ was completely inappropriate. ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2020, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friends-husband-is-dying-and-i-cant-send-flowers/850909/8 "2020-04-03T02:34:41Z")
A death, whether imminent or just having occurred, typically means people gathering. Traditionally, friends and relatives either bring or send food. With this pandemic, there will likely be little or no gathering. However, food is still welcome. Grieving people are often too overwhelmed to take proper care of themselves. If there are immediate family members, like small children, the actual meal preparation can be too overwhelming to even think about. Your thoughtfulness could mean so much more than flowers. ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2020, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friends-husband-is-dying-and-i-cant-send-flowers/850909/9 "2020-04-03T02:40:08Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > Why the fuck would you think it’s funny to send a gag gift to someone whose spouse is dying? I had a relative that would’ve been perfect for! ---
**Author:** ![Periwinkle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Periwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Periwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2020, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friends-husband-is-dying-and-i-cant-send-flowers/850909/10 "2020-04-03T03:31:29Z")
I just sent some WA tulips to myself, maybe this will work for you? They are lovely and cheerful. > **[Fresh Cut Flowers & Spring Flowering Bulbs: Tulips.com](https://www.tulips.com/)** > > Tulips.com is your source for the biggest and best flower bulbs for fall planting. And fresh cut flowers for any occasion. Always overnight delivery. Direct from our family farm. ---
**Author:** ![Pork\_Rind](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pork_rind/32/111_2.png) [@Pork\_Rind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pork_Rind)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2020, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friends-husband-is-dying-and-i-cant-send-flowers/850909/11 "2020-04-03T04:05:09Z")
There are ways. I know the farm that my wife manages is shipping tons of flowers right now. Rather than going the traditional florist route, maybe see if you can reach out directly to some local growers? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2020, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friends-husband-is-dying-and-i-cant-send-flowers/850909/12 "2020-04-03T05:21:26Z")
I had a friend who put gags in his own obituary, written while he was dying. He was that kind of guy his entire life. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2020, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friends-husband-is-dying-and-i-cant-send-flowers/850909/13 "2020-04-03T06:58:41Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > I had a relative that would’ve been perfect for! I suspect not every soon-to-be widow shares that view. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2020, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friends-husband-is-dying-and-i-cant-send-flowers/850909/14 "2020-04-03T08:02:06Z")
> [@VOW](#): > > A death, whether imminent or just having occurred, typically means people gathering. Traditionally, friends and relatives either bring or send food. > > With this pandemic, there will likely be little or no gathering. However, food is still welcome. Grieving people are often too overwhelmed to take proper care of themselves. If there are immediate family members, like small children, the actual meal preparation can be too overwhelming to even think about. > > Your thoughtfulness could mean so much more than flowers. > ~VOW So very true. When my husband died, the single most helpful gesture came from my next door neighbor, who quietly sent her lawn guys over the following Saturday morning. ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2020, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friends-husband-is-dying-and-i-cant-send-flowers/850909/15 "2020-04-03T13:10:20Z")
**Moderator Note** > [@Omar\_Little](#): > > Send a toilet paper bouquet. > > [Toilet Paper Bouquet Roses in Trumann, AR - Blossom Events & Florist](https://www.blossomeventsflorist.com/product/5e6cfb3c372ed5.04931/toilet-paper-bouquet-) Considering that someone is dying, this comes across as extremely insensitive and jerkish. Since I am not sure if you intended it as such or if you somehow thought that this sort of humor would be appropriate, I will give you a mod note instead of a warning. Don’t do this again. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2020, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friends-husband-is-dying-and-i-cant-send-flowers/850909/16 "2020-04-03T13:18:54Z")
That is sad. But there are other ways to show you care. Send a thoughtful email. Or food. I usually bring food rather than flowers when I make a condolence call, and while you obviously can’t bring the food yourself, I think you can still get food delivered. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2020, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friends-husband-is-dying-and-i-cant-send-flowers/850909/17 "2020-04-03T13:49:20Z")
Where some bring food, my mom sends paper plates, plastic tableware and cups, napkins, paper towels, and extra trashbags. When someone passes you still need to eat but you sure as heck don’t feel like doing dishes. ---
**Author:** ![CelticKnot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/celticknot/32/3392_2.png) [@CelticKnot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CelticKnot)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2020, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friends-husband-is-dying-and-i-cant-send-flowers/850909/18 "2020-04-03T13:52:40Z")
One of the hardest aspects of this whole mess is that we cannot get together to comfort each other or cheer each other up. Humans are social animals, and pain is worse when it isn’t shared with our support structure. My childhood best friend’s husband passed away suddenly Monday morning, and she had to be alone (the hospital broke the rules and let her sit with him the last few hours.) There will be a funeral for 10 friends and family; my friend’s older brother is their pastor so he will hold the service. But her husband’s father can’t visit, and I can’t travel across 3 states to be there. Many friends and family were already spending time together (husband had been ill, but extent of illness was unknown) and they decided to quarantine together, so Friend and daughter aren’t completely alone now. But I would love to give my friend a hug and cry with her instead of over the phone. **ratatoskK** , my prayers are going up for you and your friend and family. ---
**Author:** ![ratatoskK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ratatoskk/32/2987_2.png) [@ratatoskK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratatoskK)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2020, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friends-husband-is-dying-and-i-cant-send-flowers/850909/19 "2020-04-03T14:17:38Z")
> [@Periwinkle](#): > > I just sent some WA tulips to myself, maybe this will work for you? They are lovely and cheerful. > > [https://www.tulips.com/](https://www.tulips.com/) Thank you, that’s a great idea! ---
**Author:** ![LurkerInNJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@LurkerInNJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkerInNJ)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2020, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friends-husband-is-dying-and-i-cant-send-flowers/850909/20 "2020-04-03T14:22:14Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > Send a toilet paper bouquet. > > [Toilet Paper Bouquet Roses in Trumann, AR - Blossom Events & Florist](https://www.blossomeventsflorist.com/product/5e6cfb3c372ed5.04931/toilet-paper-bouquet-) Honest to God, this is something my husband would have found funny right now. O/P, flowers may make you feel better and they look nice at the service but they are basically worthless. An act of service is much more useful. It’s her who needs to feel better now, not you. There must be something she needs or needs done. You could send one of those meal subscription services for a week or two or one of those organic produce box things. There are simply tons of them out there. That and a heartfelt letter would be much more useful than something else she needs to dispose of right now. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-friends-husband-is-dying-and-i-cant-send-flowers/850909.md?page=2)