# My fucking dad won't listen!!! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 19, 2003, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-fucking-dad-wont-listen/219948 "2003-12-19T11:58:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Daizy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/46a35a/32.png) [@Daizy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daizy)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2003, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-fucking-dad-wont-listen/219948/21 "2003-12-20T15:58:48Z")
> [@](#): > > I am a 20-something woman driving a rice rocket POS. I dearly want to reply…“And acting like a 16 year old”. But that would be insulting to teenagers. Grow up. You’re mocking your father because you made him cry?! Incase you missed it the first time… Grow-the-fuck-up! This is how you talk to your father? > [@](#): > > I’m simply going to rip off what I can and tell him to fuck off. > [@](#): > > What a jerk! > [@](#): > > That fucker is going to pay. > [@](#): > > He went in the room to cry after he found out I tore all the stuff off. What a baby! Go wash your mouth out with soap. > [@](#): > > If he wants to help me by customizing my car he should **by** me schoolbooks for college! Yes…I’d agree. Because you’re most definitely lacking an education! :wally ---
**Author:** ![Harlow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Harlow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harlow)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2003, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-fucking-dad-wont-listen/219948/22 "2003-12-20T16:16:08Z")
I saw the mistake after I posted, Daizy. Yes, I do talk to my father like that because he deserves it when he doesn’t listen! I didn’t act immature. I simply tore off the unsightly crap which I didn’t like, and threw it away. He’s not going to ruin something I own. He already ruined his car, and he’s starting with mine. I’m not going to let it happen. Simple as that. ---
**Author:** ![Daizy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/46a35a/32.png) [@Daizy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daizy)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2003, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-fucking-dad-wont-listen/219948/23 "2003-12-20T16:29:54Z")
Harlow… my post was harsh. And you’re still young. I hope that given time, you’ll change your perspective and realize how fortunate you ARE to have a father. Period. This is what memories are made of. I promise you… one day you’ll look back on this whole scenario and laugh. I know that right now, this seems like a big deal to you. I assure you, in the whole scheme of things, it is not. The mature thing would have been to calmly and nicely told your Dad that you appreciated his efforts… but you were taking the accessories off. And to please not add any more. (Yes, I did read your post that you’d tried this tact before. Doesn’t matter. You do it again.) You would have neatly taken them off, placed them in a box…and kindly given them back to him to do with as he pleased. That, is maturity. Years down the road… you’ll have great tales to tell your kids about the freakishly gaudy things your Dad put on your car. You’ll do it with a grin…and threaten to do it to your children’s cars as well. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![GaWd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f08c70/32.png) [@GaWd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaWd)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2003, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-fucking-dad-wont-listen/219948/24 "2003-12-20T18:30:20Z")
So Daizy, she doesn’t have a right to be pissed at her father for fucking her car up because in 20 or 30 years they’ll be sentimental memories? Fuck that. Be pissed. make him understand that this is not acceptable-otherwise it will keep happening. Sam ---
**Author:** ![Daizy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/46a35a/32.png) [@Daizy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daizy)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2003, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-fucking-dad-wont-listen/219948/25 "2003-12-20T18:41:06Z")
**GaWd** … Sorry you didn’t have a chance to thoroughly read my reply. I’m sure she is entitled to her anger. She needed to find some perspective and a kinder way to get her point across. Using vulgarities surely can’t help? ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2003, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-fucking-dad-wont-listen/219948/26 "2003-12-21T01:42:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Daizy \* > \*\*(Yes, I did read your post that you’d tried this tact before. Doesn’t matter. You do it again.) \*\* Why, so she can be ignored again? One particularly elegant definition of insanity is trying the same thing repeatedly while expecting different results. If **Harlow** ’s representations are accurate, then I’d be guessing that this is the latest straw in a life systematic refusals to acknowledge that she has her own feelings and that they are legitimate. Without provocation, no rational person could get that upset over a Honda. ---
**Author:** ![JonScribe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3be4f8/32.png) [@JonScribe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JonScribe)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-fucking-dad-wont-listen/219948/27 "2003-12-22T02:02:32Z")
Try this (and if you’ve already said words to this effect, my apologies): “Dad. I know you’re just trying to do something nice for me, and tricking out a car is something you enjoy, but we have different tastes and this doesn’t make me happy. Please respect my wishes and don’t install anything without asking me first.” Oh, and tone matters. Really. Say it earnestly, with respect, without eye-rolling and without telling him, “Whatever!” If that fails, seek the intervention of a higher authority: Mom. ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-fucking-dad-wont-listen/219948/28 "2003-12-22T02:36:31Z")
**Harlow** reminds me of me. My father is one of those people who does not see other people as separate entities with their own feelings and wants and needs. He sees them only in so far as they relate to his own feelings and wants and needs. He’s been that way my entire life, and has always done everything he could to be ‘nice’ to me by doing something that he’d absolutely love and then telling me how much that’s exactly what I wanted. He has shown utter disregard for all of my personal property, and in fact destroyed a computer by ‘moving around furniture’ to teach me that I should clean my room to his standards. The last straw with him _was_ over something stupid and incidental, which he took upon himself to ‘fix’ something that wasn’t broken. And yes, I let him have it and I made him cry. And that’s what it took to begin to get him to back off. He has still not entirely learned that I am an individual person, and he probably never will, but at least he meddles a lot less often than he used to. So, **Harlow** , if your dad is anything like mine, then I hope he’ll learn in the future that you are your own person, and you have your own likes and dislkes. I hope he figures out that maybe he should ask you what you’d like before he tries to ‘make you happy.’ ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-fucking-dad-wont-listen/219948/29 "2003-12-22T22:03:34Z")
While I agree with your right to have your dad NOT mess around with your property, I’m completely aghast at the way you talk to him. I can’t imagine ever telling either of my parents to “fuck off”. I can’t imagine my kids telling me that either. There are ways to be assertive and get your way without being completely disrespectful and potty mouthed. ---
**Author:** ![herman\_and\_bill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/f1d935/32.png) [@herman\_and\_bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/herman_and_bill)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-fucking-dad-wont-listen/219948/30 "2003-12-22T23:11:01Z")
Is anybody else curious about what Harlow is gonna get for Christmas from her dad? ---
**Author:** ![Harlow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Harlow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harlow)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-fucking-dad-wont-listen/219948/31 "2003-12-23T14:19:04Z")
That crap he installed on my car was my Christmas present. Oh and the usual crappy 20 dollar gift card for Best Buy. We never really exchange gifts for Christmas naymore, No one cares about any holiday at my house. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-fucking-dad-wont-listen/219948/32 "2003-12-23T15:10:50Z")
Simple solution: I think that she should just change the locks on the doors of her house and her garage and not give her father access to her house unless he is obviously unarmed with car trinkets. _Then_ she could tell him to fuck off. Glad to help, Bubba ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-fucking-dad-wont-listen/219948/33 "2003-12-23T15:34:43Z")
You sure your mother’s telling you truth that he is your dad? He sounds more like a younger brother. Just do like any older sister would do next time he messes with your car. Kick him in the nuts. ---
**Author:** ![herman\_and\_bill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/f1d935/32.png) [@herman\_and\_bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/herman_and_bill)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-fucking-dad-wont-listen/219948/34 "2003-12-23T17:25:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Harlow \* > \*\*That crap he installed on my car was my Christmas present. Oh and the usual crappy 20 dollar gift card for Best Buy. > > We never really exchange gifts for Christmas naymore, No one cares about any holiday at my house. \*\* Sorry Harlow, he really has no right to do that even if he is helping with payments or you live at home. Any car but especially a first car is a prized pocession, you can personalize it but nobody else has the right to tell you how you should personalize it. I helped my daughter with her first car and all I expected was that she made the payments on time, I got fooled there but still its her car. ---
**Author:** ![byter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e480ec/32.png) [@byter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/byter)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2003, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-fucking-dad-wont-listen/219948/35 "2003-12-24T13:59:56Z")
Get a car alarm File a police report for personal property damage. ---
**Author:** ![Swampwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Swampwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swampwolf)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2003, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-fucking-dad-wont-listen/219948/36 "2003-12-24T15:05:43Z")
If he’s going to insist on sticking this shit all over your car (because he’s run out of room on his), accept it, and play by his rules: He doesn’t respect the car as your property? Fine… Start removing shit from his. “Gosh, Dad…I thought, since you’re having such a great time with my car, you really wanted it. I’ll just take yours instead. Lemme make a few changes first–this stuff is really ugly…” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-fucking-dad-wont-listen/219948.md?page=1)