# My fun day with Homeland Security **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 2, 2004, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-fun-day-with-homeland-security/248242 "2004-06-02T12:58:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-fun-day-with-homeland-security/248242/1 "2004-06-02T12:58:50Z")
This is pretty lame for a rant, but it dosen’t really belong anywhere else. I’ve just come back to the USA from a little jaunt to Singapore. And I had a weird experience at immigration. The line was short (strange in itself). I walked up to the immigration guy, handing over my passport and paperwork. I get the stamp in about five seconds. Then the wierdness kicked in big time. The INS chap started browsing all the stamps I have in my passport. There are lots of them from all over the world. Then he points to an old work visa I have from Qatar. “This is Iraqui!!” No, I explained, it’s a work visa from Qatar. He then finds a visa from Tunisia. “This is from Iraq!!” I explained to him that it was Tunisian and that I had never been to Iraq. Then he finds a stamp from Yemen. He stares at it for a minute os so, but keeps quiet. He hands me my passport and wishes me a nice day. I’ve never experienced anything like this before, and I fail to see what it could have achieved. The guy obviously had no clue what he was looking at, but accused me of going to Iraq. Luckily I could just walk away, but looking back it could have gotten real scary, real quick. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-fun-day-with-homeland-security/248242/2 "2004-06-02T13:28:59Z")
Funny, I would have guessed that Qatar was region of Iraq for some reason, too. Yes, I now know that’s wrong. But that was my first thought. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-fun-day-with-homeland-security/248242/3 "2004-06-02T13:42:07Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > Funny, I would have guessed that Qatar was region of Iraq for some reason, too. Yes, I now know that’s wrong. But that was my first thought. The difference, of course, is that you are not a government employee paid to know the information. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-fun-day-with-homeland-security/248242/4 "2004-06-02T13:44:00Z")
True. And of all the places you’d think they’d be familiar with, you’d hope the Middle East was an area on the map they’d take a look at. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-fun-day-with-homeland-security/248242/5 "2004-06-02T13:43:51Z")
Maybe he just wanted to thank you for your service, thinking you might have served in Iraq. ---
**Author:** ![badmana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@badmana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badmana)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-fun-day-with-homeland-security/248242/6 "2004-06-02T15:34:42Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > Maybe he just wanted to thank you for your service, thinking you might have served in Iraq. I know that was probably a joke but: Do troops serving overseas in the US get passports stamped at the country they conquer/enter? I gotta say, I get some strange image of lined up troops at the borders of Iraq in tanks and Humvees waiting to get their passport stamped by the lone border guard in his little hut 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-fun-day-with-homeland-security/248242/7 "2004-06-02T15:45:10Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > Maybe he just wanted to thank you for your service, thinking you might have served in Iraq. If that was the case, he would have formed a coherent sentence. The guy just pointed at random Arabic stamps in my passport and shrieked. I’m glad I was too tired to say anything smart. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-fun-day-with-homeland-security/248242/8 "2004-06-02T16:19:29Z")
> [@](#): > > The guy obviously had no clue what he was looking at, but accused me of going to Iraq. Luckily I could just walk away, but looking back it could have gotten real scary, real quick. My assumption, having received similar treatment in the past, is that these guys are specifically trained to arbitrarily bust the balls of random travelers, just to see whether anything really suspicious shakes out. If it makes the OP (by channeling my PSI powers I somehow divine that he is originally from Merrie olde England) feel any better, one time I was entering the UK for a short business trip, and was angrily accused by the passport control person of living there illegally because I had no exit stamp from a previous visit. Actually I did, but while she was making this accusation she was flipping though the passport so fast that she missed it. I kindly pointed its location out to her. No apology was forthcoming, of course. Actually, at the time where I was living not entirely legally was France, but that’s another story. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-fun-day-with-homeland-security/248242/9 "2004-06-02T16:27:37Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > Actually, at the time where I was living not entirely legally was France, but that’s another story. Talking of France, I came back through Paris one time and I got my balls busted there for not having a business card. I had been to India on business. I had an Indian work permit. I had a letter from the Ministry of Somethingorother saying I was OK in their books, but no business card meant I was really suspicious. Damn French (and those that work for French companies) 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-fun-day-with-homeland-security/248242/10 "2004-06-02T17:36:20Z")
> [@Tapioca Dextrin](#): > > I’ve just come back to the USA from a little jaunt to Singapore. [I never will go to Singapore. The people there will cut your hair in Singapore!](http://www.mareesalbumlyrics.com/Down_On_The_Border.html) ---
**Author:** ![MelCthefirst](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eada6e/32.png) [@MelCthefirst](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MelCthefirst)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-fun-day-with-homeland-security/248242/11 "2004-06-02T21:57:04Z")
Immigration officers get paid bugger all here, I’m assuming this may be the case elsewhere too. This would possibly have implications for their education levels and training? ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-fun-day-with-homeland-security/248242/12 "2004-06-02T22:04:57Z")
I suppose this is as good a place to ask this as any. I went to Amsterdam last Fall, and no one in the airport there checked my passport. I collected my luggage, and waltzed right past a totally unmanned customs desk and onto the streets of Holland, with god-only-knows what sort of illicit substances or explosive devices in my bags. (Actually, I had my underwear in there. Which was infinitely worse.) But, on my way there, I had a lay-over in Germany, where they _did_ check and stamp my passport. So, I was wondering if this was a function of the EU, where I only need to get my passport stamped when entering any European nation, which clears me for any subsequent travels within Europe (like travelling between states in the US), or if this was a staggering breach of security on behalf of the Dutch officials at that airport. Can anyone fill me in on this? ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-fun-day-with-homeland-security/248242/13 "2004-06-02T22:18:51Z")
The [Schengen Treaty](http://www.eurovisa.info/SchengenCountries.htm) abolished immigration controls between fifteen countries - all part of the EU except for Norway and Iceland. It was pretty much a recognition that it’s silly to try and keep track of every person who crosses every one of those borders. Your entry to the Schengen area was Germany, hence their stamping your passport there. ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-fun-day-with-homeland-security/248242/14 "2004-06-02T22:29:12Z")
I sympathize with the OP. A few years back, after teaching English in China for a year, I was overjoyed to be returning home to the US. The first American I spoke to was the passport inspector. “Where are you returning from?” China. “Ah. Where are you going to?” Home. In Berkeley, California. “Ah. Now I know why you went to China.” Asshole. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-fun-day-with-homeland-security/248242/15 "2004-06-02T23:38:51Z")
> [@badmana](#): > > I know that was probably a joke but: > > Do troops serving overseas in the US get passports stamped at the country they conquer/enter? I gotta say, I get some strange image of lined up troops at the borders of Iraq in tanks and Humvees waiting to get their passport stamped by the lone border guard in his little hut 😃 No, military folks on orders do not need a passport at all. My first passport was expired whilst I traipsed through Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Bahrain, Oman, Egypt, Spain and Israel, on deployment. As soon as I got out of the Marine Corps, I got another passport. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-fun-day-with-homeland-security/248242/16 "2004-06-02T23:43:01Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > So, I was wondering if this was a function of the EU, where I only need to get my passport stamped when entering any European nation, which clears me for any subsequent travels within Europe (like travelling between states in the US)? The Schengen treaty is as described. Like you, en route to Spain I had my passport stamped when I changed planes in Amsterdam, but not when I arrived in Madrid. Rather the reverse of this is the policy in Canada, where if you are changing planes from (for example) Europe to the US, you must not only go through Canadian customs, but also collect your checked luggage, have them verified, and check them again. (I think that’s how it works - I’ve never changed planes in Canada on an international flight - but that’s how I remember it being described when I arrived back in Montreal.) ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-fun-day-with-homeland-security/248242/17 "2004-06-03T00:08:10Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > Rather the reverse of this is the policy in Canada, where if you are changing planes from (for example) Europe to the US, you must not only go through Canadian customs, but also collect your checked luggage, have them verified, and check them again. (I think that’s how it works - I’ve never changed planes in Canada on an international flight - but that’s how I remember it being described when I arrived back in Montreal.) That’s exactly how it happens - I was stuck in Boston for six hours waiting for a friend who was arriving via Toronto, with no idea what had happened to him. Turned out he’d missed two connections while in the queue for customs. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-fun-day-with-homeland-security/248242/18 "2004-06-03T00:25:26Z")
This was before “Homeland Security,” but my husband caused himself an interesting border-crossing experience. He’s a naturalized U.S. citizen, born in the Ukraine. Several years ago he was visiting some family in “the old country,” and was in a Moscow train station or airport (I forget which) with a not-too-bright cousin. He asked NTBC to watch his luggage while he visited a store or the rest room or something. NTBC “watched” the luggage by marching back and forth in front of it, so of course while he was marching north somebody snitched the southernmost item of luggage. Did I say the cousing was not too bright? Hubby was not much better. The purloined luggage contained his **passport**. What kind of idiot keeps his passport in his luggage? Golly Moses. So he had to spend the next 2 days visiting various embassies and so on to get a new U.S. passport. To make it even more fun, in that precise week the Soviet Union was in the active process of becoming the Soviet Dis-Union and ceasing to exist as an entity. So the normal bureaucracy was even less organized and efficient than usual. Fast forward about 2 years, he’s traveling again, this time crossing between Greece and Turkey. He was taken aside and questioned thoroughly about why he was allegedly an American, born in the USSR, with a passport issued in Russia. ---
**Author:** ![Ms2001](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ms2001/32/18463_2.png) [@Ms2001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms2001)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-fun-day-with-homeland-security/248242/19 "2004-06-03T03:25:56Z")
> [@](#): > > Location: Staring blankly at my GPS THAT’S IN IRAQ!!! ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-fun-day-with-homeland-security/248242/20 "2004-06-03T04:15:49Z")
So what _exactly_ were you doing in this so-called “Qatar,” anyway, Mr. Dextrin? If that IS your real name! :dubious: [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-fun-day-with-homeland-security/248242.md?page=2)