# My Funny Spanish-Language Mixup **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 25, 2024, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-funny-spanish-language-mixup/1003336 "2024-06-25T23:00:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2024, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-funny-spanish-language-mixup/1003336/21 "2024-06-27T13:18:44Z")
> [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](#): > > For the same reason, non-native French speakers should be very careful about mentioning the preservatives in their food. Same for non-native Russian speakers. Ask me how I know. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2024, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-funny-spanish-language-mixup/1003336/22 "2024-06-27T14:18:31Z")
> [@Eva\_Luna](#): > > (Pardon my missing accent marks in Spanish - I do know where they belong, I am just too lazy to figure out how to type them here.) On a phone or tablet onscreen keyboard, be it Android or Apple, just press and hold the primary letter. A small popup will appear with all the choices of various diacritics. Swipe to the one you want and release. Viola! 😉 That’s also how you get the inverted ? & ! 
 just press and hold the normal one and wait for the popup. On a real PC and keyboard it’s more complicated. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2024, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-funny-spanish-language-mixup/1003336/23 "2024-06-27T14:29:08Z")
My favorite was the guy on our Guatemala team (who claimed he spoke Spanish) who ordered _dos hueves frias_ for breakfast at our hotel. The look on the server’s face was priceless as she kept asking “_que? QUE?_” For those who don’t speak the lingo, that translates to “two cold Thursdays”. What he should have said was _dos huevos fritos_ (two fried eggs). Even funnier to me was that I was laughing my ass off while everyone else stared at me like I was crazy. ---
**Author:** ![Balthisar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/balthisar/32/2825_2.png) [@Balthisar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balthisar)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2024, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-funny-spanish-language-mixup/1003336/24 "2024-06-27T19:45:47Z")
You’ve reminded me of a time when I was just barely learning Spanish, going to to lunch with some of the team to a restaurant we liked on the outskirts of Guanajuato, close to our plant. One of the older guys was trying to ask for mantequilla (butter) for his bread roll, and they ended up bringing him some blanc tequila (blanco, what we call silver for some reason). ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2024, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-funny-spanish-language-mixup/1003336/25 "2024-06-28T02:36:15Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > On a real PC and keyboard it’s more complicated. I prefer typing anything longer than a few words on a PC. Thus the laziness 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2024, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-funny-spanish-language-mixup/1003336/26 "2024-06-28T11:20:57Z")
I’m just like you. I’ll only peck at the phone for a sentence or two. Windows makes it real easy to type accented characters once you configure your system correctly. Which I have done and use regularly. The annoyance is that it’s too easy (for me) to inadvertently hit one of the keystroke combos that switches the keyboard to/from accented mode. So I end up in accented mode inadvertently and then ~~hilarity~~ vexation ensues for a few words until I recognize I’m spewing gibberish. Oops. So close and yet so far. It’s nice to have that toggle keystroke be convenient. But not _too_ convenient. Given that glass-half-full intro if you’re curious enough to try it I could fill in the details. ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2024, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-funny-spanish-language-mixup/1003336/27 "2024-06-28T12:29:07Z")
On our honeymoon in San Miguel de Allende, my wife and I hung out with another tourist staying near our rental. At dinner one night, Dana told the waiter, in Spanish, that she had been looking for penne (pasta). (Un)fortunately, in Spanish, “pene” means penis. I can’t remember whether or not Dana actually got up and left the restaurant, mortified, but I can’t rule it out. Whereas I – confident acquirer of foreign languages that I pretend to be – was in Bali, hanging out with a local who eventually informed me that – while I _thought_ I was saying “I don’t know --” what I was actually saying was “I don’t tofu.” . The difference being painfully subtle pronunciations of the Indonesian word “tahu.” I do tofu, damnit, and with a reasonable degree of frequency. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2024, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-funny-spanish-language-mixup/1003336/28 "2024-06-28T12:44:51Z")
A classmate of mine came from a family in the oil industry. One time, his dad went on a business trip to Russia, and wanted a souvenir, and thought that a set of those nesting dolls would be nice. So he asked the desk clerk where he could find a matryoshka. The clerk said “Oh, don’t worry, we’ll send one right up!”. It turns out that “matryoshka” was apparently slang for an underaged prostitute. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2024, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-funny-spanish-language-mixup/1003336/29 "2024-06-28T12:51:34Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Late in the meal someone asks if she wants more food, proffering a big bowl of whatever it was. To which she replies in French “No thanks, I’m full”. But she fell for a false cognate and actually said “No thanks, I’m pregnant.” I took 3 semesters of French in college. One of my French professors told a story of traveling to France with some friends, and one of them, buying some milk at a market, and being into natural, organic food, wanted to know if there were any preservatives in the milk. But they didn’t know the word for ‘preservative’, so they took a shot that it was the same word as English, only with a French pronunciation: “Y a-t-il des prĂ©servatifs dans le lait?” The proprieter bursts out laughing. Turns out they had asked “are there any condoms in the milk?”. ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2024, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-funny-spanish-language-mixup/1003336/30 "2024-06-28T15:04:14Z")
i do not tofu in any language. ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2024, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-funny-spanish-language-mixup/1003336/31 "2024-06-28T15:14:15Z")
That possibility _had_ O-curd to me. [Soy sorry. Yo couldn’t help myself] ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2024, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-funny-spanish-language-mixup/1003336/32 "2024-06-28T15:36:00Z")
> [@DavidNRockies](#): > > That possibility _had_ O-curd to me. I used to love puns so much it was kind of an illness, but I think I’ve bean curd of that affliction, thanks to you
 😏 ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2024, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-funny-spanish-language-mixup/1003336/33 "2024-06-28T15:43:36Z")
I don’t think I’ve ever bean so tofully befuddled at these white and lumpy puns. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2024, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-funny-spanish-language-mixup/1003336/34 "2024-06-28T15:44:34Z")
The Spanish professor in college came to the US from Cuba and had to learn English. She went to a department store and asked a salesperson where she could have sheets. He gave her directions, but she ended up at the women’s restroom. Later she realized she could not pronounce “sheets” correctly and it sounded like “shits”. So, she learned the word “linens”. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2024, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-funny-spanish-language-mixup/1003336/35 "2024-06-28T16:04:50Z")
> [@solost](#): > > I took 3 semesters of French in college. One of my French professors told a story of traveling to France with some friends, and one of them, buying some milk at a market, and being into natural, organic food, wanted to know if there were any preservatives in the milk. But they didn’t know the word for ‘preservative’, so they took a shot that it was the same word as English, only with a French pronunciation: “Y a-t-il des prĂ©servatifs dans le lait?” When we were in French training prior to heading to West Africa, one of the exercises each Monday was to describe what you did on your weekend. I had installed carpet in our Jeep. Sadly for me, my wife used the wrong word for carpet and told her entire class that I had had sex with a gay person in my Jeep. As I recall, the word for carpet is _tapis_ and slang for a gay man is _tapette_. Her teacher had to call a break because she was laughing so hard. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2024, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-funny-spanish-language-mixup/1003336/36 "2024-06-28T16:06:08Z")
> [@DavidNRockies](#): > > [Soy sorry. Yo couldn’t help myself] (seen on a Spanish teacher’s door) What if soy milk is really just regular milk, introducing itself in Spanish? ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2024, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-funny-spanish-language-mixup/1003336/37 "2024-06-28T16:20:05Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Sadly for me, my wife used the wrong word for carpet and told her entire class that I had had sex with a gay person in my Jeep. As I recall, the word for carpet is _tapis_ and slang for a gay man is _tapette_. Her teacher had to call a break because she was laughing so hard. Ha, that’s funny! Coincidentally, my wife and I are thinking of taking a trip to Costa Rica next year, and I’m planning on trying to learn some conversational Spanish. So this thread is very informative for me-- I now know how not to accidentally refer to judges or carpets as Jews or gay in Spanish! ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2024, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-funny-spanish-language-mixup/1003336/38 "2024-06-28T16:43:32Z")
Luckily my high school Spanish classes were almost entirely devoid of any Spanish speech so I can’t intelligibly pronounce the few words I remember and I’ve never been able to understand spoken Spanish. OTOH I’m quite fluent in Portuguese. I only know a few words but I can speak them fluently, NĂŁo falo PortuguĂȘs. Seriously, I’ve been told by Portuguese speakers I say that like it was my native tongue. ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2024, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-funny-spanish-language-mixup/1003336/39 "2024-06-28T18:14:33Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > The Spanish professor in college came to the US from Cuba and had to learn English. She went to a department store and asked a salesperson where she could have sheets. He gave her directions, but she ended up at the women’s restroom. > > Later she realized she could not pronounce “sheets” correctly and it sounded like “shits”. So, she learned the word “linens” Hmm, that sounds very much like a joke from my childhood, about an Italian immigrant on a train from New York to Florida. It’s a shaggy dog story that involves a series of puns like that - he’s rebuked for asking for a "shit onna bed’ and a “piss (of toast) onna table”. The punchline involves him meeting a woman named Virginia and taking her back to his compartment for sexy times, when the conductor walks up the corridor yelling “No"foka Virginia! No’foka Virginia!”. When I was thirteen, this was Noel Coward-level comedy. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2024, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-funny-spanish-language-mixup/1003336/40 "2024-06-28T19:18:33Z")
Huh. I wonder. This woman told us the story in part because I absolutely could not roll my r’s. I still can’t, and back then I was pissed off at having to take a foreign language (requirements changed midstream). Her “shits” for “sheets” was her pronunciation inability and was supposed to make me feel better. Meanwhile, a guy in the class was from Venezuela. He was taking Spanish (his native language) to fulfill the requirement for graduation. He _hated_ the professor, because she was from Cuba. He told me her vocabulary was ghetto and she had a cheap accent. He hated Cubans. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-funny-spanish-language-mixup/1003336.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-funny-spanish-language-mixup/1003336.md?page=3)