# My Garage Is Full Of Possum **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 23, 2007, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-garage-is-full-of-possum/401368 "2007-04-23T21:35:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Encinitas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Encinitas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Encinitas)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2007, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-garage-is-full-of-possum/401368/41 "2007-04-25T17:26:37Z")
My cat brought in a young possum last spring and let it go in the house. It ended up cowering under the tv stand in the living room. After much gentle prodding with a yardstick we got it into a basket with a lid. I took it to a local nature preserve and let it go in a likely place. Two days later another possum appears under the tv stand. Out comes the yardstick and the basket followed by a trip to the nature preserve. Two days after that…lather, rinse, repeat! ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2007, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-garage-is-full-of-possum/401368/42 "2007-04-25T17:38:43Z")
[QUOTE=Encinitas] My cat brought in a young possum last spring and let it go in the house. It ended up cowering under the tv stand in the living room. After much gentle prodding with a yardstick we got it into a basket with a lid. I took it to a local nature preserve and let it go in a likely place. Two days later another possum appears under the tv stand. Out comes the yardstick and the basket followed by a trip to the nature preserve. Two days after that…lather, rinse, repeat! [/QUOTE] What got me is the use of ‘gentle’ and ‘yardstick’ in the same sentence without some negative qualifier. ---
**Author:** ![Encinitas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Encinitas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Encinitas)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2007, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-garage-is-full-of-possum/401368/43 "2007-04-25T18:06:30Z")
[QUOTE=Nawth Chucka] What got me is the use of ‘gentle’ and ‘yardstick’ in the same sentence without some negative qualifier. [/QUOTE] It was the closest I had to a 10 foot pole! Really, I didn’t want to hurt the cute little buggers. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![si\_blakely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@si\_blakely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/si_blakely)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2007, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-garage-is-full-of-possum/401368/44 "2007-04-25T18:18:48Z")
[QUOTE=Encinitas] It was the closest I had to a 10 foot pole! Really, I didn’t want to hurt the cute little buggers. 🙂 [/QUOTE] Maybe, but you wanted to make sure that the little bugger couldn’t hurt you, either. 😛 Si ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2007, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-garage-is-full-of-possum/401368/45 "2007-04-25T23:42:25Z")
[QUOTE=Bridget Burke] A neighbor had a cat door; he’d feed the cats outside, then they’d come inside to sleep on the bed. One night, he felt a furry critter nestling near his head, so he reached up to pet it. Its fur felt weird. So he turned on the light–it was a baby possum! That was the end of the cat door. … [/QUOTE] Awww, that’s sweet! The possum wanted to snuggle … oh, wait a sec! Your neighbor wasn’t wearing Possum fur nipple warmers to bed, was he? ---
**Author:** ![phall0106](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phall0106/32/5934_2.png) [@phall0106](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phall0106)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2007, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-garage-is-full-of-possum/401368/46 "2007-04-25T23:42:37Z")
[QUOTE=Tripler] _You know the song. . . just roll with it, baby. . ._ Blame it all on my roots, I showed up in boots, prepared for an Orkin affair. . . The last one to know, the last one to show in my garage–how’d you get into there? Well I saw the surprise, and the fear in yer eyes, as I drew my forty-five. And I aimed at you an’ pulled that pistol trigger too, but now all I can do is complaaaaain. . . ‘Cause I got possum guts in low places Where my whiskey drowns and the bleach chases my pest away. . . washin’ down the drain. Yeah I’m not big on social graces think I’ll pay some fine, as the ASPCA’s gonna hit me good. . . in low places! Tripler Okay, the fiancee didn’t know: it’s “Friends in Low Places” by Garth Brooks [/QUOTE] I can’t _believe_ I was singing this… ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2007, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-garage-is-full-of-possum/401368/47 "2007-04-26T00:25:08Z")
[QUOTE=phall0106] I can’t _believe_ I was singing this… [/QUOTE] Good! That tells me my meter was on-the-money. Tripler . . . and the thunder rolls. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2007, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-garage-is-full-of-possum/401368/48 "2007-04-26T00:48:06Z")
Aaaand…the Return Of The Possum! Dad says he was back in the garage today, trying (unsuccessfully) to scale the metal shelves where we store the Rice-A-Roni. Marsupials like the San Franscisco Treat™. Whoda thunk it? ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2007, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-garage-is-full-of-possum/401368/49 "2007-04-26T02:41:09Z")
It used to be “common knowledge” that possums couldn’t live in Minnesota because their little hands (and they are hands, I swear), feet and tails are hairless–so they couldn’t stand Minnesota winters. Announcing the New Minnesota Thinsulated Ice Possum! Good to -20 degrees F. Uglier than stewed puke! Meaner than a Pit Bull with roid rage! I drove past one on my way out of the marina, and he charged my truck. It wasn’t fast enough to catch me, but I watched him in the rear view as he loped after me for a few strides. I think possums and raccoons have a bet going as to which one can commit the most roadkill suicides. The raccoons are leading, but the possums ain’t giving up. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2007, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-garage-is-full-of-possum/401368/50 "2007-04-26T03:32:26Z")
[QUOTE=Rysdad] … I think possums and raccoons have a bet going as to which one can commit the most roadkill suicides. The raccoons are leading, but the possums ain’t giving up. [/QUOTE] I’m sorry but the armadillo has that one sewn up. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2007, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-garage-is-full-of-possum/401368/51 "2007-04-26T16:41:26Z")
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] Dad says he was back in the garage today, trying (unsuccessfully) to scale the metal shelves where we store the Rice-A-Roni. Marsupials like the San Franscisco Treat™. Whoda thunk it? [/QUOTE] Well, it does store well. They may not be clever, but they know their staples. ---
**Author:** ![Klytus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Klytus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Klytus)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2007, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-garage-is-full-of-possum/401368/52 "2007-04-26T17:15:34Z")
[QUOTE=Wile E] I’m sorry but the armadillo has that one sewn up. [/QUOTE] Ain’t that the truth. I went driving in Texas once. Once. From Dallas to Texarcana and back again. I swear, I saw more armadillo roadkill in that 6 hours of driving that the sum total of all other roadkill I have ever seen in my life combined. Then again, I also saw more road-side billboards advertising vasectomy reversal surgery that anyplace else, either. What is it about Texas that it has a greater need for un-doing vasectomys than it has for the folks who usually use such signs, like ambulance-chasing lawyers? ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2007, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-garage-is-full-of-possum/401368/53 "2007-04-26T18:11:13Z")
This thread was worth it just to read the phrase “possum fur nipple warmers.” Snerk. _Possum roasting on a open fire Jim Beam nestled in my glass Fourteen bandages on my arms and legs That possum really kicked my ass._ Tough critters, them possums. ---
**Author:** ![Corner\_Case](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/corner_case/32/234_2.png) [@Corner\_Case](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corner_Case)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2007, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-garage-is-full-of-possum/401368/54 "2007-04-26T19:25:15Z")
I’ve had my chews Time after time I’ve feigned my sentence But admitted no crime And bad mistakes I’ve slept through a few I’ve had my share of buck shot in my ass But I’ve come through We are the possums, my friends And we’ll keep on fighting, till the end We are the possums We are o’possums No time for losers 'Cause we are the possums - of the world I’ve taken on bow-wows And many cat calls You brought me food and fresh gardens and everything that goes with it I thank you all I’ve dug in beds of roses And evaded your noose I consider it a challenge before the whole human race And I’ll always get loose We are the possums, my friends And we’ll keep on fighting, till the end We are the possums We are o’possums No time for losers 'Cause we are the possums - of the world ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-garage-is-full-of-possum/401368/55 "2007-04-27T00:22:43Z")
Y’all are twisted sons of bitches. _sniff_ I love you guys. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-garage-is-full-of-possum/401368/56 "2007-04-27T18:20:37Z")
[QUOTE=Wile E] I’m sorry but the armadillo has that one sewn up. [/QUOTE] Well, sure, down south. But up here in Yankeestan there ain’t no armadillos, so the competition is primarily between raccoons and possums…with the occasional badger, cat or deer thrown in for variety. ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-garage-is-full-of-possum/401368/57 "2007-04-27T18:24:37Z")
Well, the possums are good, but the skunks are the ones to beat in the roadkill derby around here. Our raccoons aren’t hardly trying. ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-garage-is-full-of-possum/401368/58 "2007-04-27T18:55:43Z")
[QUOTE=Rysdad] Well, sure, down south. But up here in Yankeestan there ain’t no armadillos, so the competition is primarily between raccoons and possums…with the occasional badger, cat or deer thrown in for variety. [/QUOTE] Uh-oh, I hear “The Yellow Rose of Texas” again… There ain’t no armadillos Up here in Yankeestan We pick up coons and possums And fry 'em in a pan… ---
**Author:** ![manx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/65b543/32.png) [@manx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manx)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2007, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-garage-is-full-of-possum/401368/59 "2007-04-28T03:45:58Z")
[QUOTE=MizTina] If the down under 'possums got a mouthful of teeth like our 'possums do, I hope the 'possum shearers get combat pay. [/QUOTE] Ahem. We don’t \*shear \*our possums, down here. We shoot 'em. ---
**Author:** ![manx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/65b543/32.png) [@manx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manx)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2007, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-garage-is-full-of-possum/401368/60 "2007-04-28T03:52:38Z")
missed the edit, so adding: possum fur is lovely - not too sure about the nipple warmers, but I have a pair of gloves, and they’re fantastic. They’ve been trying to turn our possum abundance into business for a while - I’ve eaten possum kebab (not great) but I hope the fur industry takes off [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-garage-is-full-of-possum/401368.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-garage-is-full-of-possum/401368.md?page=4)