# My gf chopped her hair off **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 26, 2013, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391 "2013-05-26T11:21:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![stpauler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@stpauler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stpauler)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391/61 "2013-05-27T00:19:10Z")
> [@kwc27](#): > > I know i sound like a dick but that’s a lot of hair. It was my birthday Friday and she does this? Yuck! She did it for your birthday to buy you the pocketwatch chain. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391/62 "2013-05-27T00:20:36Z")
> [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](#): > > While it’s a big deal initially, there’s a point in a relationship where, I hope, one’s desire to be around the other is much less physical than it once was. In a relationship where one is considering marriage, you have to think “will I still love this person through the soft and the hard,” so to speak. If a guy still looks at his partner and thinks “I don’t want to be with you if I’m no longer physically attracted to you,” then the relationship’s lasting potential is limited. That is true for the most part but it’s still very disappointing when your partner does something that drastically lowers their appeal on basically a whim. It’s just a big “I don’t give a shit about whether you find me attractive or not” that I have to be honest would bother me quite a bit. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391/63 "2013-05-27T00:23:05Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > That is true for the most part but it’s still very disappointing when your partner does something that drastically lowers their appeal on basically a whim. Growing your hair out for years and actively not damaging it via heat or chemical processing that entire time so you can donate it to charity once it’s long enough hardly qualifies as on “a whim.” ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391/64 "2013-05-27T00:27:11Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > Because appearance is a pretty big deal no matter how shocked people want to act when someone actually admits it. If your partner one day is going to wake up looking like someone you would not date entirely by their choice then you have every right to be upset. Cutting off all your hair drastically alters your appearance, I have never dated a woman with short hair because i do not find it appealing at all. If it’s such an all-fired big deal, then why didn’t he say so _before_ she got a hair cut? If I had some kind of weird condition where I couldn’t get hard unless my partner has dreadlocks or some such stupid thing, I’d make that known by the third date, because as you say, it is _kind of important._ And if I didn’t tell them and they ditched their dreads and that ruined the relationship, that’s _my_ fault, not theirs. How the hell were they supposed to know? Rasta telepathy? ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391/65 "2013-05-27T01:43:32Z")
> [@colander](#): > > If it’s such an all-fired big deal, then why didn’t he say so _before_ she got a hair cut? If I had some kind of weird condition where I couldn’t get hard unless my partner has dreadlocks or some such stupid thing, I’d make that known by the third date, because as you say, it is _kind of important._ And if I didn’t tell them and they ditched their dreads and that ruined the relationship, that’s _my_ fault, not theirs. How the hell were they supposed to know? Rasta telepathy? I agree with you, if it was such a big deal to him he should’ve been more emphatic about it when asked. ---
**Author:** ![Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aji_de_gallina/32/260_2.png) [@Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aji_de_Gallina)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391/66 "2013-05-27T02:31:41Z")
> [@Essured](#): > > See, I don’t get this. She wants to cut her hair (to donate as it turns out, but the reason why is fairly immaterial). What is there to ‘run by’? And why the need to ‘run by’. I mean, she just wants to cut her hair. Why does that need to be ‘run by’ someone else? And how is that showing consideration? I’m baffled here. I’ve never understood ‘running something by’ someone, if I was intending to do it anyway. I guess, there’s a very small chance the other person may suggest something that she hadn’t considered… but it’s just a haircut. Can you explain what the outcome, or purpose of running it by your partner is, because I’m seriously baffled that this is an expectation by some people You don’t get it? Really? Not even a little? If you are really seriously baffled by a boyfriend’s expectation of at least expressing an opinion on how the girlfriend looks, then there is nothing I can do to help you understand. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391/67 "2013-05-27T02:45:24Z")
> [@Aji\_de\_Gallina](#): > > If you are really seriously baffled by a boyfriend’s expectation of at least expressing an opinion on how the girlfriend looks, then there is nothing I can do to help you understand. He expressed it. I’m sure she took it under consideration. Listening to and acknowledging your partner’s preferences != abiding by them 100%. ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391/68 "2013-05-27T02:45:29Z")
OP, I suggest that you read some of the threads written by **JohnClay**. I believe the two of you would get along swimmingly. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391/69 "2013-05-27T02:45:51Z")
I’ve been married for 10 years and although I have learned that many partners expect this kind of consultation, I think we should all strive as individuals to let our partners make their own choices with regard to their sartorial decisions. A person’s body belongs to that person, not to his or her partner’s. We would really be a lot better off letting go of the expectation that our partners have to mold themselves to our tastes rather than their own. The more I think of it, the more offensive and oppressive it is. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391/70 "2013-05-27T02:49:11Z")
> [@Aji\_de\_Gallina](#): > > You don’t get it? Really? Not even a little? > If you are really seriously baffled by a boyfriend’s expectation of at least expressing an opinion on how the girlfriend looks, then there is nothing I can do to help you understand. Yeah. I bet if the dude quite his good paying job to do some random minimum wage hippie shit that would be a whole nother story. ---
**Author:** ![Sparky\_the\_Wonder\_Spirit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Sparky\_the\_Wonder\_Spirit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky_the_Wonder_Spirit)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391/71 "2013-05-27T02:59:23Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > I bet if the dude quite his good paying job to do some random minimum wage hippie shit that would be a whole nother story. Wow. That is a completely comparable scenario to getting a haircut. Totally sensible. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391/72 "2013-05-27T03:00:21Z")
> [@kwc27](#): > > She’s not joining the marines and she couldn’t control whether or not she’d get cancer. > > I still love her and think she’s pretty, it’s just that this is such a big change. > > I will get used to it but it kinda makes me wonder. Makes you wonder what? Do you think she cut it for her other boyfriend? ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391/73 "2013-05-27T03:01:45Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > This is just sneak bragging about how you look good in any hairstyle, isn’t it? 😉 Oh you flatterer, you. Ha. No, actually, it was sneak bragging about how awesome my husband is and how incredibly lucky I am to be married to him. I can’t in a million years imagine _consulting_ him about something I wanted to do with my _hair_. Seriously, I came home with _purple_ hair last month. I didn’t call him up and say, “Honey, how would you feel if I dyed my hair purple?” I just did it because _I_ wanted to. I bet if he hated it, he wouldn’t even tell me. He’s da bomb. 😛 > [@Rick](#): > > To borrow the line from the old western “No brag, just fact” You flatterer, too. :o > [@kwc27](#): > > Broomstick had it right when he/she said I have learned that her **hair** is a much more important part of the package than I thought it’d ever be. That’s just … there are no words. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391/74 "2013-05-27T03:16:59Z")
> [@johnpost](#): > > she made a sacrifice to help others which you both should value. > > maybe next time she could grow it terminally long (where it doesn’t grow any longer, maybe 3 or more years). then get it cut half length, resulting in still a long hair style and still a donation. It sounds like that’s what she did _this_ time. Her hair is shoulder-length (which most people would consider long) after donating 11", so it must have been somewhere around mid-back length before the cut. Incidentally, I’ve donated hair to Locks of Love and similar charities in the past and the minimum donation length for LoL is 10". I mention this because it may be that the girlfriend did not learn until she was actually at the salon that she’d have to get at least 10" cut, but decided to go ahead even though this meant getting a shorter haircut that she’d originally intended. ---
**Author:** ![Essured](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Essured](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Essured)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391/75 "2013-05-27T03:17:44Z")
> [@Aji\_de\_Gallina](#): > > You don’t get it? Really? Not even a little? > If you are really seriously baffled by a boyfriend’s expectation of at least expressing an opinion on how the girlfriend looks, then there is nothing I can do to help you understand. No, I get why people have opinions on how their partners look. I myself prefer my DH without a moustache, as I don’t particular like it looks-wise, plus it is sometimes irritating while kissing. My DH knows how I feel. When his upper lip is shaved, I often mention it, kiss him more, mention how much I like kissing him without a mo, etc. So I get having an opinion and expressing an opinion - that’s not what was baffling me. What I don’t get is the whole idea of ‘running a haircut by the partner’ prior to getting the hairstyle change. It would not enter my mind to ‘check in’ with my partner before getting a haircut. It’s just a haircut. I’m honestly not trying to be all ‘surprised that people care about physical appearances’ - that’s not it at all. It’s the ‘run it by the partner’ part that is baffling me. Does that include clothes, makeup, shoes, etc? Or just stuff that can’t be reversed immediately, like hair length, hair style, hair colour, piercings, tattoos? Maybe I’m misunderstanding what ‘run it by’ the partner actually entails? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391/76 "2013-05-27T03:25:26Z")
> [@Essured](#): > > I myself prefer my DH without a moustache, as I don’t particular like it looks-wise, plus it is sometimes irritating while kissing. I used to have this discussion with my ex-girlfriend as well, but she refused to shave it off… ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391/77 "2013-05-27T03:30:17Z")
> [@Essured](#): > > No, I get why people have opinions on how their partners look. I myself prefer my DH without a moustache, as I don’t particular like it looks-wise, plus it is sometimes irritating while kissing. My DH knows how I feel. DH? Designated hitter? ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391/78 "2013-05-27T03:38:41Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > DH? Designated hitter? Message board slang for “dear husband.” We don’t talk like that here, but it’s incredibly pervasive elsewhere on the internet. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391/79 "2013-05-27T03:41:24Z")
She can always just get [extensions.](http://hairextensionsglamor.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/clip-in-hair-extensions-before-and-after-photos.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391/80 "2013-05-27T03:41:27Z")
It seems rather precious. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391.md?page=5)