# My gf chopped her hair off **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 26, 2013, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391 "2013-05-26T11:21:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391/101 "2013-05-27T12:54:39Z")
> [@kwc27](#): > > Broomstick had it right when he/she said I have learned that her hair is a much more important part of the package than I thought it’d ever be. > [@Shayna](#): > > That’s just … there are no words. I get the impression the OP is young. It is entirely possible that he didn’t know how much the change would bother him before it actually occurred. I’m not thrilled with the notion that appearances would be such a huge factor for some people but I’ve been around long enough to know that in fact that is the case for some people. Whether I like it or not that’s still how the world is. Knowing how important appearances are to you is an important bit of self-knowledge, even if it’s not always a flattering fact. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391/102 "2013-05-27T13:03:25Z")
> [@Sacrilegium](#): > > I’m sure you have no idea who I am or what I’m going through in my personal life right now, but goddamn. What you wrote is like you just ripped me out of the cosmos, looked into my life and typed this out just for me. Just specifically, exclusively, beautifully for me. Thank you. Including the lederhosen, I trust. I thought that was the best part. [QUOTE=BigT] Locks of Love is a bit of a scam. [/QUOTE] So if they can’t use the hair for wigs, but they are motivated to scam people out of it anyway, what exactly are they doing with the hair? This question worries me. ---
**Author:** ![Sacrilegium](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f05b48/32.png) [@Sacrilegium](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sacrilegium)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391/103 "2013-05-27T13:20:45Z")
> [@CairoCarol](#): > > Including the lederhosen, I trust. I thought that was the best part. Well, _that_ part definitely didn’t apply to me. The wife I’m having issues with is German. I’m sure my wearing of lederhosen would be the least of her complaints. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391/104 "2013-05-27T13:22:18Z")
**kwc27** , get it right…! You haven’t been together for a year-and-a-half; you’ve been seeing her for 9 inches of hair. Clearly, you’re shocked to find yourself follicly challenged. So split. Or brush it off. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391/105 "2013-05-27T13:27:04Z")
> [@CairoCarol](#): > > So if they can’t use the hair for wigs, but they are motivated to scam people out of it anyway, what exactly are they doing with the hair? > > This question worries me. They are cornering the market. The hair market. Next time you find a hair in your food, you’ll owe them a royalty. DRM for hair is around the corner. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391/106 "2013-05-27T13:31:04Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > Because appearance is a pretty big deal no matter how shocked people want to act when someone actually admits it. If your partner one day is going to wake up looking like someone you would not date entirely by their choice then you have every right to be upset. Cutting off all your hair drastically alters your appearance, I have never dated a woman with short hair because i do not find it appealing at all. > [@Guinastasia](#): > > Let’s hope you never end up with a woman who ends up with burn scars. Or loses her hair to some disease or something. :dubious: Read it again. He said entirely by choice, which one assumes precludes a disfiguring skin condition. I think there’s a spectrum of “right answers” here and each couple funds their own place on that spectrum and the right answers for themselves. Unlike **Shayna** , I would run it by my husband if I was going to dye my hair purple. Doesn’t mean my relationship is more or less solid than hers is. It’s just how we roll. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391/107 "2013-05-27T13:31:40Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Let’s hope you never end up with a woman who ends up with burn scars. Or loses her hair to some disease or something. :dubious: Do you really not understand the difference between choosing to make yourself unappealing to your partner and a terrible accident? ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391/108 "2013-05-27T13:33:41Z")
> [@CairoCarol](#): > > So if they can’t use the hair for wigs, but they are motivated to scam people out of it anyway, what exactly are they doing with the hair? Making soy sauce and cleaning up oil spills, for one. (Or two.) Hairy, ain’t it? ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391/109 "2013-05-27T13:34:51Z")
> [@CairoCarol](#): > > This question worries me. “Hydrolyzed protein” in soy sauce? Fermented hair. Now you know. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391/110 "2013-05-27T13:37:52Z")
Has the OP sold his watch yet??? ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391/111 "2013-05-27T13:52:00Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > See, I’d be against this because Locks of Love is a bit of a scam. I keep hearing this but I don’t think it’s true. LoL is very plain spoken on their website about whether or not they can use hair, what they do with hair that isn’t long enough for their needs, and so forth. The only people getting “scammed” are those who don’t bother to read their site thoroughly. > [@](#): > > Sure, they’ll take your hair, but it almost certainly will not be of high enough quality to be used in a wig. The only way it would be is if you take the no-[sham]poo tack. Those natural oils are vital in keeping the hair good enough for a wig. Hair used in wigs usually comes from places where shampoo is not common. Heat treatments and chemicals used daily are more of an issue than shampoo in and of itself. You can’t grow hair waist-length and treat it with chemicals and heat daily, it simply won’t last enough enough to get that long so anyone with waist-length hair is giving it minimal treatment as it is. If you JUST shampoo as truly needed (and not daily - unless you’re engaged in daily dripping-sweat exercise your hair doesn’t actually need daily shampooing) with a mild shampoo it will be fine for wig material. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391/112 "2013-05-27T13:53:47Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Let’s hope you never end up with a woman who ends up with burn scars. Or loses her hair to some disease or something. :dubious: Sad, but true, disfigurement does end a lot of relationships. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391/113 "2013-05-27T16:01:59Z")
> [@DataX](#): > > He doesn’t like short hair. Plenty of guys do not. [snip] > > I don’t think some people realize the difference long hair makes to some guys. I would rather date a woman who was average looking with long hair than looked like Angelina Jolie with short hair. I think it’s pretty well known that a lot of men prefer long hair on women, but shoulder length hair is generally considered “long”. For some people that’s actually as long as their hair can possibly grow. Prior to this thread I’d never heard shoulder length hair called _short_. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391/114 "2013-05-27T19:19:14Z")
> [@Essured](#): > > I’m curious since I’ve never thought that something like this would be a courtesy - So, what happens after the ‘run by’? If you both agree, I see no conflict, but if you ultimately disagree (on something small and temporary like a hair style, not something big like weird hair colours or permanent like tattoos), then what? You express your opinion to your husband about his facial hair, he disagrees, then what? It’s just the other side of the coin: expressing an opinion vs. asking the other person for their opinion. ---
**Author:** ![perfectparanoia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a5b964/32.png) [@perfectparanoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/perfectparanoia)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391/115 "2013-05-27T20:15:33Z")
This thread is timely. I am going for my twice a year haircut tomorrow. I may cut it short. I may get a trim. I may go somewhere in between. My husband prefers my hair long but it’s my hair and I have to live in it everyday. I will do with it as I please. And if he wasn’t okay with that, I probably wouldn’t have married him. ---
**Author:** ![Maiira](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Maiira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maiira)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391/116 "2013-05-27T21:53:17Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > You are dating, which is basically a take-it-or-leave-it scenario. Either you can live with it, or you can decide to seek greener pastures. Theres nothing wrong with deciding you are no longer feeling it. Frankly, if you have been dating for a year and a half and her going shoulder-length is enough to make you lose attraction, I honestly don’t think your relationship was meant to be. You just don’t seem to like her that much, and that’s fine. Go find someone you like. > > That said, if a woman getting a haircut without your permission is a dealbreaker for you, you may have trouble finding a compatible partner. Most women like to change their hairstyle now and then. I agree with this the most. It’s okay to have preferences. I, personally, hate mustaches–plain mustaches, beards and goatees are fine–because they make my skin crawl\*. But then that means I probably wouldn’t date a mustache aficionado. It’s also okay to break up with someone because you’re just not feeling it, for whatever reason. If your feelings change, your feelings change. (I know you said you wouldn’t leave her, but this does still apply.) That being said, I can’t help but laugh at the idea that shoulder-length is considered “short,” seeing as my own hair looks like [this](http://www.emmawatson.com/Documents/Emma-Watson-Short-hair.jpg). \*This is actually related to something kind of icky that happened to me as a kid involving a man with a mustache. Not going to discuss it here, as it’s not really relevant to the thread, but I wanted to be clear that the aversion to mustaches is NOT simply “shallowness.” ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391/117 "2013-05-27T21:55:17Z")
> [@Shayna](#): > > Thank OG I have a wonderful husband, who fell for me with [long, red hair](http://www.city-data.com/forum/members/jill61-603505-albums-jill-s-pictures-pic36591-jill-thomas-amsterdam-weekend-we-met.jpg); loved me just the same when I [chopped it all off](http://www.city-data.com/forum/members/jill61-603505-albums-jill-s-pictures-pic44858-jill-thomas-dane_in_la-venice-beach-we.jpg) to _my_ shoulders; married me 11 years ago today with [medium-length brown hair](http://www.city-data.com/forum/members/jill61-603505-albums-jill-s-pictures-pic46080-jill.jpg); tolerated me through my [layered blonde phase](http://www.city-data.com/forum/members/jill61-603505-albums-jill-s-pictures-pic45784-jill-thanksgiving-2009-after-long-day.jpg); but loves me exactly the same today with chin-length hair with purple streaks. Yes, **[actual purple](http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7376/8844524577_a13ba4a23a_o.png)** (there’s more purple in it today than when this picture was taken — I liked it so much I had more put in!). > > I’d never tolerate someone as superficial as the OP. I wish your girlfriend good luck (she’s gonna need it). > [@Acsenray](#): > > This is just sneak bragging about how you look good in any hairstyle, isn’t it? 😉 > [@Rick](#): > > To borrow the line from the old western “No brag, just fact” By the way, I myself was engaging in the “sneak compliment.” ---
**Author:** ![Cady\_Wampus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d26b3c/32.png) [@Cady\_Wampus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cady_Wampus)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391/118 "2013-05-27T22:37:37Z")
Reading this post made me so glad that I just shaved my head…because it will automatically exclude me from ever having to deal with a guy like this! OP: If the hair is that important, offer to pay for extensions. Then it’ll seem like you’re being nice when you’re really being…let’s just leave it at that. Have you ever grown your hair out? Do you know how hot, heavy, and uncomfortable long hair can be in hot weather? Plus, it can be super expensive to maintain, depending on whether or not you’re biologically endowed with super strong, thick hair or the wimpy, baby fine kind that breaks after a light breeze blows through it (only a slight exaggeration). Long hair looks cool but is a major PITA. Unless you’ve experienced the maintenance of it first hand, you’d never know. I think because women generally DO know all about it, they’re going to think you’re being sh\*tty for putting so much emphasis on it. You’re completely objectifying her when you see her as a collection of pretty parts there for your amusement instead of a complete, whole person with her own opinions and style preferences. I frankly think it’s incredibly sad that men like you think this way. Thank goodness by BFs have never been this immature and vain. WOW. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391/119 "2013-05-27T23:05:17Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > The whole “I prefer women with long hair” thing really rubs me the wrong way. I don’t know why it makes me so mad - I’m cool with guys who like big boobs or skinny girls or Latinas or blondes. But when guys get bent out of shape about the length of a woman’s hair it just pings my misogyny meter to 11. Ok maybe not misogyny but just…unfair. > > _You_ grow your hair out to what the length of hers used to be, and _you_ style it and _you_ keep it clean and _you_ keep yourself cool, then come back and tell us about how your girlfriend should do that for you because you think it’s purdy. I have the same reaction. I think a lot of women prefer short hair and updo’s because it shows off our faces- you know, the part of us that shows our mood and personality and individuality. We tend to see our faces as a really important part of our appearance. Long hair, on the other had, is a symbol. Often, the long-hair fetishists don’t care if the long hair even looks nice, they just want that symbol to be there. And hearing guys go on and on about how we owe them that symbol, whether or not we like it or feel it is attractive, makes me more than a bit touchy. Anyway, I grew out my hair when my classic pixie cut started to look less “young and spritely” and more “soccer mom.” Frankly, I think my longer hair looks pretty bad. I have thin, fine hair and even with a fair investment in time and product it still looks pretty meh. But what I hate is that my eyes and face are always in shadow, overwhelmed and unbalanced by a bunch of not-particularly-lovely hair. To me, it’s just not my best look. It makes me feel dumpy, weighed down and unprofessional. But there are guys who say “Hey, I don’t really care if you feel gross and ugly. I don’t really care if your face looks bad. When I look at you, all I really need to see is that you have that sex symbol. That’s what important to me. So why are all you ladies being so uncooperative and not giving me my symbol?” ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2013, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391/120 "2013-05-28T02:26:19Z")
So glad hubby loves my two-inch dyed-burgundy hair. And called me “babe” when it was shoulder-length and graying. And couldn’t keep his hands off me when I weighed 225 pounds. And calls me his “tomato” now that I weigh 150 and run marathons. And kept me on an even keel with his steadfastness and humor when I was freaking out about an abnormal mammogram and the ensuing minor surgery to remove the funny bits (all clear now). And likes the fact that I rarely wear makeup because “it tastes funny.” And has loved me inside and out for 25 years. Thank you, dear, for being a real man. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-gf-chopped-her-hair-off/659391.md?page=7)