# My girlfriend wants to meet a mutual friend whom she wanted to sleep with before falling for me. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 24, 2014, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-girlfriend-wants-to-meet-a-mutual-friend-whom-she-wanted-to-sleep-with-before-falling-for-me/682082 "2014-02-24T10:35:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2014, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-girlfriend-wants-to-meet-a-mutual-friend-whom-she-wanted-to-sleep-with-before-falling-for-me/682082/21 "2014-02-28T20:52:02Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > I was also thinking threesome > [@Inna\_Minnit](#): > > Me three. > [@Arrendajo](#): > > My first thought too. WTF is wrong with all of you??! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2014, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-girlfriend-wants-to-meet-a-mutual-friend-whom-she-wanted-to-sleep-with-before-falling-for-me/682082/22 "2014-02-28T21:59:56Z")
The secrets are always the killers… She is being open about who he is… She is asking you to be present… A friend can be a friend of the relationship… If she has to meet him alone or he refuses to meet both of you he is not a friend… She seems to be playing by the rules for him to be a friend… ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2014, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-girlfriend-wants-to-meet-a-mutual-friend-whom-she-wanted-to-sleep-with-before-falling-for-me/682082/23 "2014-03-02T18:06:19Z")
Why on earth would she want \*you \*to meet him??? I think she’s been having more conversations with him than those to which you are privy. ---
**Author:** ![runningdude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e9c0ed/32.png) [@runningdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/runningdude)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2014, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-girlfriend-wants-to-meet-a-mutual-friend-whom-she-wanted-to-sleep-with-before-falling-for-me/682082/24 "2014-03-02T22:06:06Z")
> [@Lindstrom](#): > > Hello, > > I have been with my girlfriend for 4 months and have known her for 1 year soon. We started talking together a lot last year, 2 months after I talked with her for the first time. But 1 month prior for me starting to talk a lot with her, she talked a lot with a mutual friend we have I have known him for 1 year and 6 month, she for 1 year soon. How long you have been together is not directly relevant. Relationships are not a contest; it doesn’t matter how long you stay together, just how you **feel** about each other. Before marriage, “relationships” are inherently ambiguous. You should have\*\* no expectations \*\*about how you significant other views the relationship unless you have **discussed** these expectations and boundaries. For instance, you should not assume you are in an exclusive relationship unless you both freely agree to be. If you fear that your girlfriend may sleep with this “mutual friend”, then you should discuss your fears. You should discuss if you are exclusive, or if there is still room to see other people, and to what degree. These kind of conversations can be difficult and awkward, but is better to discuss boundaries with the women in question than with random strangers on the internet. We all have different expectations and past experiences with dating, and give at best broad feedback based on your limited descriptions. ---
**Author:** ![manwithnobrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@manwithnobrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manwithnobrain)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2014, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-girlfriend-wants-to-meet-a-mutual-friend-whom-she-wanted-to-sleep-with-before-falling-for-me/682082/25 "2014-03-03T03:12:00Z")
Oh…oh…ooooops! I dunno, I certainly don’t want to be the pessimistic miserable guy here, BUT…if I were you, my friend…I’d try my best on letting this one go away… Let me explain my opinion view…the main purpose in being in a relationship, is to be happy-am I right?.. ‘Being happy,’ also includes, that you don’t have to deal with stuff like that…Gotcha? Why would you even bother to ‘meet this guy together with her’/ ‘explain her how you feel’-etc-if she even cared (don’t want to be offensive) he wouldn’t even bother to meet this guy… There is no reason for you (or anyone, for that matter) to get yourself into such crappy situations, once you realize there’s a LOT of other women out there, who’d be more than happy to chill with you (or me, for that matter)… So, spare yourself the crap and trouble, and let her meet whoever she wants…as long as you don’t even bother talking to her again! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-girlfriend-wants-to-meet-a-mutual-friend-whom-she-wanted-to-sleep-with-before-falling-for-me/682082.md?page=1)