# My girls ruined your movie: sorry **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 1, 2015, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-girls-ruined-your-movie-sorry/716530 "2015-04-01T19:01:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2015, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-girls-ruined-your-movie-sorry/716530/21 "2015-04-01T23:07:44Z")
> [@Paxx](#): > > Wow! So many questions. > > How old is the son? If he’s younger than this sisters, then why wasn’t the mother at the movie with her 13-year-old daughters, instead of just “dropping them off”? She’s not taking responsibility for having contributed to the problem. There shouldn’t be anything wrong with three teen/pre-teen siblings going to an (appropriate) movie together. Provided they know how to act, of course. > [@Paxx](#): > > If the son is older (and supposedly the one in charge), then why didn’t he say or do something when his sisters were misbehaving? Is he just a snitch? Maybe he did, and his sisters don’t listen to him. Or maybe he isn’t so responsible or aware, himself. Is it snitching to recount to Mom what some lady at the theater said? > [@Paxx](#): > > Why did the mother believe the son’s story so much that she posted about it on Facebook? Why did she _believe_ it? Why wouldn’t she? > [@Paxx](#): > > What about the other people in the theater? If the girls were behaving so badly, why didn’t anyone else tell them to stop? > > If the other mother was being bothered so much, why didn’t she do more to make things better? It seems that she thought she was helpless, but, after the fact, she decides to lay the guilt trip. Perhaps they did, but the one woman was the one who notably confronted them again afterwards. I do wonder if she thought to complain to theater management and ask for a refund. But in fact, most people being disturbed in public places _do_ feel helpless, or scared to speak up. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2015, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-girls-ruined-your-movie-sorry/716530/22 "2015-04-01T23:42:11Z")
When I was a teenager, I took a date to a movie and her “girls” ruined the movie for me, but made my night! ---
**Author:** ![DinoR](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dinor/32/2821_2.png) [@DinoR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DinoR)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2015, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-girls-ruined-your-movie-sorry/716530/23 "2015-04-02T00:00:18Z")
Praise in public. Punish in private. I can see the tried privately and now we’re nuking the behavior from orbit argument. Whether that applies here… ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2015, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-girls-ruined-your-movie-sorry/716530/24 "2015-04-02T00:05:34Z")
Since the bleeding heart brigade would freak if the girls were flogged, I think the public shaming is just about right. They fucked up in public, they can be shamed in public. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2015, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-girls-ruined-your-movie-sorry/716530/25 "2015-04-02T00:18:39Z")
> [@Eonwe](#): > > A mom whose kids made it to teenagehood not being able to handle themselves in public is making a public scene of disciplining them. :rolleyes: Sometimes teenagers have been taught correctly and still behave badly. Sometimes when teenagers are on their own and away from their parents they behave badly in a way they never would around their parents. Sometimes teenagers get a thrill out of being naughty despite being taught correctly by their parents. I know, shocking but true. ---
**Author:** ![Paxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/50afbb/32.png) [@Paxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paxx)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2015, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-girls-ruined-your-movie-sorry/716530/26 "2015-04-02T01:55:46Z")
> [@Peremensoe](#): > > There shouldn’t be anything wrong with three teen/pre-teen siblings going to an (appropriate) movie together. Provided they know how to act, of course. Provided the parents know that the children know how to act. It was the mother’s decision to leave them on their own. The girls were not just careless or oblivious – they ignored a direct, reasonable request to be quiet. They were inconsiderate and disruptive, and it’s unlikely that this was the first time. If the son was older then he too should have been disciplined. There’s no indication that he did anything to make things better. And yes, he snitched. As for believing him, my point was that the mother went public with the story. That should require not just belief but almost certainty, and the son doesn’t seem to be very reliable. I’m guessing, though, that the girls fessed up. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2015, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-girls-ruined-your-movie-sorry/716530/27 "2015-04-02T02:06:20Z")
I don’t even remotely see how this could be public shaming. How else was she to get to the proper people to make the girls face their consequences of their actions? And the other lady “guilt tripped” them? Really? Again, sometimes when you have assholic behavior, the thought is that what your doing really isn’t affecting others all that much. Hearing otherwise can be a huge eye opener. Or at least one would hope. I vote for an attempt at good parenting. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2015, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-girls-ruined-your-movie-sorry/716530/28 "2015-04-02T02:08:46Z")
> [@Paxx](#): > > Wow! So many questions. > > How old is the son? If he’s younger than this sisters, then why wasn’t the mother at the movie with her 13-year-old daughters, instead of just “dropping them off”? She’s not taking responsibility for having contributed to the problem. > > If the son is older (and supposedly the one in charge), then why didn’t he say or do something when his sisters were misbehaving? Is he just a snitch? > > Why did the mother believe the son’s story so much that she posted about it on Facebook? > > What about the other people in the theater? If the girls were behaving so badly, why didn’t anyone else tell them to stop? > > If the other mother was being bothered so much, why didn’t she do more to make things better? It seems that she thought she was helpless, but, after the fact, she decides to lay the guilt trip. > > Anyway, it seems to me that the whole incident is similar to people who go on Springer-like shows or TV-judge shows to air their dirty laundry in public. This would have been better dealt with privately, regardless of the apparently heart-warming ending. And why didn’t the woman they were disturbing get a theater employee? ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2015, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-girls-ruined-your-movie-sorry/716530/29 "2015-04-02T03:31:07Z")
I vote good parenting. Sometimes being taken down a peg or two or several does wonders for fixing sorry attitudes. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2015, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-girls-ruined-your-movie-sorry/716530/30 "2015-04-02T03:48:21Z")
> [@Eonwe](#): > > A mom whose kids made it to teenagehood not being able to handle themselves in public is making a public scene of disciplining them. :rolleyes: > [@Loach](#): > > Sometimes teenagers have been taught correctly and still behave badly. Sometimes when teenagers are on their own and away from their parents they behave badly in a way they never would around their parents. Sometimes teenagers get a thrill out of being naughty despite being taught correctly by their parents. > > I know, shocking but true. Glad I continued reading rather than just hitting reply. I could have been that girl, except for the fact that I was a boy. So could most of my junior high and high school class, even if we are just dealing with the ones whose parents tried to instill good manners into their children - I certainly wasn’t the exception, and was far from the worst. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2015, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-girls-ruined-your-movie-sorry/716530/31 "2015-04-02T03:49:42Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > I’m deeply cynical this was on the up and up. > > Given the incredible odds of having any post go viral, let alone ultimately reaching the intended target audience in this spectacular way. Plus given the super media friendly ‘human interest story’ aspect… - I’m saying this is a publicity stunt or social experiment of some kind. This. At the least the mother is mostly concerned about how she is perceived. At worst its a glurge posting. ---
**Author:** ![Deeg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/deeg/32/2955_2.png) [@Deeg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Deeg)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2015, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-girls-ruined-your-movie-sorry/716530/32 "2015-04-02T04:39:24Z")
> [@Paxx](#): > > If the son was older then he too should have been disciplined. There’s no indication that he did anything to make things better. **And yes, he snitched.** (Emphasis mine.) It’s a bit of a tangent, but what’s wrong with the boy telling his mother? If you were the parent wouldn’t you want to know? Instead of calling him a snitch, think of him as a whistle blower. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Paxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/50afbb/32.png) [@Paxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paxx)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2015, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-girls-ruined-your-movie-sorry/716530/33 "2015-04-02T13:22:21Z")
> [@Deeg](#): > > If you were the parent wouldn’t you want to know? If I were the parent, I would want my daughters **and** my son to behave responsibly in public. According to the [Daily News](http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/ala-mom-apologizes-kids-misbehaving-n-movie-theater-article-1.2166797) the son is 16 years old. Definitely old enough to know how to behave in a movie theater and old enough to say something to his 13-year old sisters if he was interested in making things better for other people in the theater. The movie was Cinderella, not exactly the type of movie that a typical 16-year old boy would want to see, especially with his two younger sisters. Possible, of course, just not likely. Seems to me that the girls wanted to see the movie, the mother wasn’t interested in going with them and she told her son to accompany them. When they were misbehaving, he did nothing to stop them, and then decided to get his sisters in trouble by telling his mother about what they did. Perhaps he genuinely felt guilty when he heard about the other mom’s situation. In any case, he shares responsibility for what happened. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2015, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-girls-ruined-your-movie-sorry/716530/34 "2015-04-02T15:20:44Z")
> [@Paxx](#): > > If I were the parent, I would want my daughters **and** my son to behave responsibly in public. > > According to the [Daily News](http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/ala-mom-apologizes-kids-misbehaving-n-movie-theater-article-1.2166797) the son is 16 years old. Definitely old enough to know how to behave in a movie theater and old enough to say something to his 13-year old sisters if he was interested in making things better for other people in the theater. > > The movie was Cinderella, not exactly the type of movie that a typical 16-year old boy would want to see, especially with his two younger sisters. Possible, of course, just not likely. Seems to me that the girls wanted to see the movie, the mother wasn’t interested in going with them and she told her son to accompany them. When they were misbehaving, he did nothing to stop them, and then decided to get his sisters in trouble by telling his mother about what they did. Perhaps he genuinely felt guilty when he heard about the other mom’s situation. In any case, he shares responsibility for what happened. Do you have kids? My 13 year old is very respectful and quiet. My 15 year old is a great kid with good manners and maturity. If I put the 15 year old in charge of the 13 year old it turns into WWIII. The best thing she can do is tell me if anything happens so I can deal with it. Your belief that a 16 year old sibling can control 13 year olds is naive. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2015, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-girls-ruined-your-movie-sorry/716530/35 "2015-04-02T15:36:40Z")
What **Loach** said. And I don’t see anything wrong with this. It’s not like the mother expected her post to go viral. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2015, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-girls-ruined-your-movie-sorry/716530/36 "2015-04-02T15:59:34Z")
Not just good parenting, but good fucking parenting! I did the same thing to my son when I found out he physically pushed his mother during a heated argument. (over school work, and at home chores) I made him write an apology letter to his mom and then we wrote out a contract stipulating what his chores were, when he was supposed to do them, and when to do his homework. I took the contract and pinned it up on the refrigerator for an entire year. I finally took it down a year later when I felt comfortable he wasn’t going to have a relapse of said bad behaviour. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2015, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-girls-ruined-your-movie-sorry/716530/37 "2015-04-02T16:12:23Z")
[QUOTE=Eonwe] Any time someone does anything in front of the public eye, I assume they’re doing it mainly for attention and validation. [/quote] [QUOTE=Snowboarder Bo] Is that how we should view your postings on the SDMB? [/QUOTE] > [@Eonwe](#): > > Eh, maybe. Or maybe I should just go to the quarry and throw stuff down there. Well played, sir. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2015, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-girls-ruined-your-movie-sorry/716530/38 "2015-04-03T00:59:50Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Do you have kids? My 13 year old is very respectful and quiet. My 15 year old is a great kid with good manners and maturity. If I put the 15 year old in charge of the 13 year old it turns into WWIII. The best thing she can do is tell me if anything happens so I can deal with it. Your belief that a 16 year old sibling can control 13 year olds is naive. That’s twice you’ve been spot on. ---
**Author:** ![Teach-me-not](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a4c791/32.png) [@Teach-me-not](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Teach-me-not)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2015, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-girls-ruined-your-movie-sorry/716530/39 "2015-04-03T03:43:07Z")
The part that gave me the most eyerolling in Mom’s facebook post was that she offered to pay for the other family’s move tickets _out of the girls’ allowance_. I understand that the girls should face the consequences of their actions, but it’s just TMI in a public post. Certainly, if I was the affected woman, even if I were inclined to accept the money, I would reject it if I knew it was from the little girls’ pockets. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2015, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-girls-ruined-your-movie-sorry/716530/40 "2015-04-03T05:16:57Z")
> [@D\_Odds](#): > > That’s twice you’ve been spot on. Then I will bow out and keep my batting average intact. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-girls-ruined-your-movie-sorry/716530.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-girls-ruined-your-movie-sorry/716530.md?page=3)