# My God, I'm not the only insane one! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 15, 2004, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-god-im-not-the-only-insane-one/224663 "2004-01-15T22:30:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f08c70/32.png) [@Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crowbar_of_Irony_3)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2004, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-god-im-not-the-only-insane-one/224663/61 "2004-01-21T13:59:06Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > I have a sock puppet personality. But, he isn’t really a sock puppet. He’s my hand. > > [snipped]Top THAT! I have three way conferences with myself. Oh well, I don’t talk to my hand, but if I happened to do above-mentioned strategical discussions in bed, I would form my blanket in the shape of face and animate it when ‘it’ is talking. Anyway, the three-way conference involves me, my, er, other self (not necessary evil, ya know, just…_different_) The last is the mediator, who I like to term as the faciliator. He (it? she? me?) faciliates the meeting by asking us to focus back on the agenda if me and me would started aruging. So, no! It’s not a Smeagol/Gollum thingy, okay, you get me! (Alter-Ego: Maybe they will still misunderstand, me: No, that’s perfectly clear!) The scariest thing? I automatically speaks in a different voice for each of them. Yes, I speak out loud audiblely. I _try_ not do that if I am with friends (in crowds of strangers, I don’t give a care), but I will automatically laspe into it when concentrating hard (such as programming). ---
**Author:** ![Ex\_Machina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Ex\_Machina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ex_Machina)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2004, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-god-im-not-the-only-insane-one/224663/62 "2004-01-21T17:21:37Z")
I wish a thread had been started specifically dealing with food rituals and eating techniques. I find them fascinating. Some things I have outgrown, probably because I went through a time of extreme hunger when petty quirks blew away like chaff. But some I retain. I was a sequential eater, all the peas, then all the corn, then all the potatoes, all the meat, etc. Peas were speared one on each tine of the fork before being eaten. The outside of a carrot had to be eaten first leaving the interior part of the root. A bowl of ice cream had to be stirred until it was creamy. A glass of chocolate milk had to be consumed a teaspoonful at a time. Potato chips were eaten smallest to largest after being carefully sorted. Corn-on-the-cob was eaten evenly two rows at a time. The saltiness of some foods had to be sucked out before chewing (e.g. peanuts and olives). PBJ sandwiches were eaten spirally maintaining as close to round as possible. A hot dog shorter than the bun was pushed to one end so it was flush and the other end was eaten last as just bun with mustard and ketchup. Piles of food like potatoes or rice were formed into geometrical shapes then divided evenly and eaten a section at a time. There are probably many others. Nowadays I just eat, randomly and recklessly, mixing, mushing, guzzling, cramming… I also live very sloppily because I can’t stop cleaning once I start, and I have a profound fear that if I ever arrange my things in perfect order I will DIE!!! ---
**Author:** ![Vlad\_Igor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7feea3/32.png) [@Vlad\_Igor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vlad_Igor)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2004, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-god-im-not-the-only-insane-one/224663/63 "2004-01-21T17:30:27Z")
**Ex machina** wrote: > [@](#): > > I was a sequential eater, all the peas, then all the corn, then all the potatoes, all the meat, etc. Peas were speared one on each tine of the fork before being eaten. The outside of a carrot had to be eaten first leaving the interior part of the root. A bowl of ice cream had to be stirred until it was creamy. You must have driven your parents/siblings/friends **NUTS**!!! Vlad/Igor ---
**Author:** ![BuckleberryFerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f9b8f/32.png) [@BuckleberryFerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckleberryFerry)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2004, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-god-im-not-the-only-insane-one/224663/64 "2004-01-21T17:42:09Z")
Must…resist…irritating…joke…can’t!..must…post… > [@LostCause](#): > > \<…\> no! It’s not a Smeagol/Gollum thingy \<…\> I automatically speaks in a different voice \<…\> :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2004, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-god-im-not-the-only-insane-one/224663/65 "2004-01-21T18:26:29Z")
**Rabid\_Squirrel** and **whiterabbit** – Yeah, same here. Getting from ‘a’ to ‘b’ at my workplace requires walking down a long, wide corridor. The floor tiles really don’t have any pattern to them, so I’m sure I often look like quite the spaz when I walk through there. 🙂 **Obsidian Flutterby** – Oh, hell yeah. I recently finished reading D.W. Buffa’s _The Judgement_, only to find out that it’s book three in a five-part series. ☹ Had to run out to Barnes & Noble that day to scoop up the rest of them **ghostman** – Oooo…I never considered using peanut butter M&Ms before. Why, this could lead to some sort of inter-league championship… **Chicago Faucet** – So, I take it you’ve never used a Sit’n’Spin, then? 🙂 **NoClueBoy** – You frighten me. You too, **Moe**. **Ghanima** – I’m sorry…I’m just not able to comprehend this “too much meat” concept you put forth. “Not enough”? Happens every day. “Too much”? Sorry, not in my world. And this talk of discarding half the burger? Sacrilege! 🙂 Pretty much the same thing here, **SpacemanSpiff**. I’m often mocked by friends because of my aversion to “eating the handle”. Anytime, **Planet of the Shapes**. Keep spreading the message. 🙂 Sorry, **Annie-Xmas** , but I don’t feel right eating the b&w M&Ms this way. Feels too much like a race war. **Mama Tiger** , I can absolutely feel the difference walking over cracks. If I step on one with one foot, I have to even out the other one. The truly odd thing is I swear I can feel cracks even if there’s no texture difference. I’m talking a painted-on pattern or something. I know it’s all in my head, but hey, I live there too. Very interesting theory, **Khadaji**. (Now I know why I’m broke! It was those three pennies on the ground I ignored seven years ago!) 🙂 Well, I feel much better now. I’ve found that my shameful quirk was shared by others (and not shameful in the least), and even introduced it to new generations of M&M battlemasters. Of course, I’ve also found that things I thought I was normal about are apparently odd as well, but hey, it all balances out in the end. ---
**Author:** ![Moe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moe/32/2972_2.png) [@Moe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moe)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2004, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-god-im-not-the-only-insane-one/224663/66 "2004-01-21T19:44:23Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > You frighten me. > > You too, **Moe**. That makes 2 of us. Especially since I was expecting at least few people to come in here with some “OMG I do that to!!” posts. **Opal** ’s post may be the only thing keeping me from calling the authorities. ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2004, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-god-im-not-the-only-insane-one/224663/67 "2004-01-21T19:49:17Z")
My alarm clock must never be set on the top or half of the hour ( : 00 or : 30 ) [note, it is hard to write time notations without inadvertantly emoticonning]. Ideally, my alarm time will be set on a prime-numbered minute, : 03, : 11, etc. This is due to the quite rational possibility that the designer/programmer of the alarm clock messed up his binary logic algorithms that will fail to trigger the alarm properly if it falls on the top of the hour. Obviously, the more digits that have to change on the clock, the greater the likelyhood that the “Critical Alarm Trigger Bit” will fail to pass to the alarm. But try explaining this to a hotel-service wake up call, and they treat you like you are insane :rolleyes: . "Yes, sir, wake up call at 8 am. " “You mean 8:01 am, right?” “Yep, 8 oclock sir.” “No, you aren’t listening, 8: **01** , I noticed yesterday that my phone rang at 8:00, are you guys trying to make me miss my meeting? Eight Oh One dammit!” Inevitably, they will f it up and either ring me at 8:00, or fail to ring me entirely, which just confirms that their system is susceptible to the CATB logic circuit failure. Why won’t the world learn?!?!?!? ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2004, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-god-im-not-the-only-insane-one/224663/68 "2004-01-21T20:05:40Z")
> [@luluBahrain](#): > > …I cannot have my alarm set for anything ending with a 0 or a 5… Woah, I didn’t see your post, a fledgling spirit! See my “prime numbered minute” trick above, that will settle your problem with having to wake up all of the time to check. I know, “But isn’t 5 a pr–”. Look, I’ll be dead and buried before I recognize the primeness of the number 5. That’s not insane is it? ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2004, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-god-im-not-the-only-insane-one/224663/69 "2004-01-21T20:10:05Z")
> [@Moe](#): > > **Opal** ’s post may be the only thing keeping me from calling the authorities. Usually my posts have the exact _opposite_ effect! I thought of another one. If I’m eating cereal… say, Froot Loops… I can’t leave just one floating around in the bowl. It will be frightened and lonely, you see. The last few floating around must be carefully kept together, so they can find comfort in each other during their final moments. ---
**Author:** ![Erika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/47e85d/32.png) [@Erika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erika)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2004, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-god-im-not-the-only-insane-one/224663/70 "2004-01-21T20:41:31Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > Argh… I must confess my deep, dark secret, in hopes of discovering that I Am Not Alone. > > When eating a sandwich, I must eat off all the crust before I can eat the center. Patiently I chomp my way around the circumference. When, and only when, all the crust is gone can I eat the uncrusty part. I will stop to examine the sandwich after every few bites to see where the thickest layer of filling is, rotate it to find the best approach spot, and nip off thinner areas first. > > I’m quite sure I’m not the only person who carefully breaks a cupcake in two horizontally, detaching the wide top from the narrower bottom. Then the bottom gets eaten before the top. I do this with muffins, too. The muffin top has to be turned upside-down so as not to lose any crumbs from the sheared-off side. > > Have you noticed how many of us have food fetishes? Not sandwiches, but soft cookies. You have to have the gooey middle part last! And I break muffins, too. The top part’s better. I sort M&Ms by color. Then I make designs, and eat the ones that make it not work out right. But in color order. Blue goes first. Yellow or green last. The rest by whim… but definitely grouped by color. [A little bag of M&Ms could get you through a whole lecture!] ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2004, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-god-im-not-the-only-insane-one/224663/71 "2004-01-22T13:56:48Z")
Damnit, **Opal**! Now I have nasally-spewed milk on the keyboard, and I’m feeling mighty guilty looking at these last few remaining Honeycomb. I’ve had many reactions from reading these quirks – from mild amusement to abject horror – but that one was fricking hillarious. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2004, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-god-im-not-the-only-insane-one/224663/72 "2004-01-22T15:05:53Z")
It begins to creep toward abject horror, however, when you realize I’m dead serious. I actually get fairly guilty and uncomfortable if those last few spend much time all by themselves. :o ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2004, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-god-im-not-the-only-insane-one/224663/73 "2004-01-22T15:16:03Z")
I just hope y’all don’t put sweet little dogs down garbage chutes… I’ve recently found that ALL forks have crooked tines and must be straightened. And the only OCD-type thing I have done forever is make sure that all shirts are hung on hangers the same direction - buttons to the left. I was doing laundry for my boyfriend one day, and he asked me to make sure I did it this way, and I just looked at him funny and said it was the ONLY way to hang shirts! We smiled at each other. It was a Kodak moment. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Bongmaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Bongmaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bongmaster)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-god-im-not-the-only-insane-one/224663/74 "2005-09-29T15:39:06Z")
I have an odd habit when listening to any kind of pattern, especially music. I feel the urge to count the beat using the fingers on my right hand but there is a catch. I must finish the last beat with my thumb. If not I start over replaying the melody in my head using a mix of whole/half beats until I end on that finger. It actually gets annoying sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-god-im-not-the-only-insane-one/224663/75 "2005-09-29T15:52:59Z")
**AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!** :eek: **ZOMBIE THREAD!!!** ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-god-im-not-the-only-insane-one/224663/76 "2005-09-29T16:14:10Z")
> [@Flutterby](#): > > . . . If the Library is missing bits and pieces (like the VERY FIRST BOOK) I go on a hunt of all the libraries I can get to to see if they have it in paperback. If they do not then I must stretch my budget to include the book or if it’s only available in hardcover I must find a friend with a copy or do without. . . Either you go to the same library as I do . . . or perhaps you’ve been coming to my library and checking out all the first-of-series books? I swear my library NEVER has the first book of any series. I’ve actually gone out and bought the damn books and donated them to the library, but the books never make it to the shelves; I suspect these NEW MUCH NEEDED books are promptly thrown onto the “buy for 25 cents” table. Some first-of-series I’ve bought and fruitlessly donated are: Asimov’s Foundation series, McAffrey’s Dragon series, Stanley’s “Red Mars” (of the Red/Blue/Green) series. As for M&Ms, I take a package to all required department meetings and see how long I can make each piece last, the goal being to finish the package with less than five minutes left of the meeting. ---
**Author:** ![YaWanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/bbce88/32.png) [@YaWanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaWanna)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-god-im-not-the-only-insane-one/224663/77 "2005-09-29T16:16:31Z")
> [@Vlad/Igor](#): > > When I finish showering and before I step out of the shower, I will run my hands over my arms, torso and legs to “squeegee” the water off. Then I towel dry. > > Vlad/Igor Finally, one that **I** do! I think in my case, it comes from growing up in Florida, and trying to reduce the amount of moisture that the towel had to sop up, because the humidity makes it hard to stop sweating for a long time after the shower, and you’re going to need all the absorbancy from that towel that you can get. Just a theory. And I love Smarties, though I don’t eat them in any funny ritualistic way. I just can’t stop eating them until they’re all gone, even if it gives me a tummy-ache. I’m addicted to sugar. ---
**Author:** ![sj2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@sj2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sj2)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-god-im-not-the-only-insane-one/224663/78 "2005-09-29T17:57:14Z")
You guys are all nuts. :Walks away to prepare the perfect piece of toast: 😛 I have _very strong_ feeling about toast and sandwiches. It MUST be cut in half on the diagonal. My husband prefers uncut and will sometimes present me a slice that is not prepared properly. I, at this point, want to scream, “Off with his head!!” But I normally just go cut the bread myself. If the bread is cut in half, it is ruined. The top end of the crust may be eaten, the side panel of this piece is reserved for one dog. The bottom of the crust is never eated and is in fact cut off when making the initial diagonal cut. This remnant is reserved for the other dog. The side panel on this piece may be eaten, or shared between the 2 dogs. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-god-im-not-the-only-insane-one/224663/79 "2005-09-29T18:06:51Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > I wept the tears of joy that only the loneliest of the lonely can weep, when finally met with a familiar face. > > I am alone no longer. > > For I, too, am an organizer of M&M Mortal Kombat. Hmmmm … What do you want to bet that “M&M” was just a code word for “sheep”? Maybe Hal has been crying out for understanding all this time. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-god-im-not-the-only-insane-one/224663/80 "2005-09-29T19:34:55Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > We all have the “friend” who e-mails you the endless stream of jokes, chain letters and other general crap. Mine, a co-worker, forwarded this along to me this today: > > I read the e-mail. > > I stared blankly at my monitor, trying to understand what I was reading. > > I read it a second time, and clarity hit me. In a fit of rage, I raced to the sender’s cubicle. > > _“Who have you been talking to?!”_ I demanded. > > “Huh?” > > _“Have you been spying on me??”_ I asked, frothing. > > He stared at me, uncomprehending. The terror and confusion in eyes told me – this one knows nothing of my terrible secret. > > I want back to my desk and read the e-mail a third time. > > And I understood. > > And I wept. > > I wept the tears of joy that only the loneliest of the lonely can weep, when finally met with a familiar face. > > I am alone no longer. > > For I, too, am an organizer of M&M Mortal Kombat. > > I’m not the only one who can be found hunched over his desk pretending to work, surreptitiously organizing my candy-coated warriors into brackets, preparing them for the deadly battleground they will soon face. > > I’m not the only one spending far too much time devising rules for these tournaments (combatants must be face-to-face, the “m” logo side being the “face”). > > I’m not the only one sitting there, squeezing two chocolaty warriors in a pinch of death – trying to determine that perfect moment when a victor is obvious, but before they both wind up exploding, spraying M shards all over my cubicle. > > There is someone else out there, just…like…me. > > Oh, except I’m not about to mail any of my champions back to the good people at the M&M Mars. No, the champions of the anonymous e-mailer’s league gets a much different fate than those of mine – my champion M ascends to the top of the towering container of raisins on my desk (I don’t _only_ snack on junk food). There he will sit triumphantly, basking in the glory of his victory, master of all he surveys. Until I feel like snacking on chocolate again. > > Then he gets eaten too. > > So this whole experience got me wondering. In what way are _you_ insane? What is it that you do that is so completely off the wall, that there’s _no way_ anyone else shares your particular quirk. Bet’cha you’re wrong in thinking that. 🙂 I’d hate to think my Hero Hal would post something not quite original, but when I got the M&Ms e-mail _5 years ago_ it included your “response” to it, as well. The reason I’m so sure of this is, the woman who shared my office thought it was so funny, she printed several copies of it, and one ended up in a box of my stuff. I just looked at it when your post sounded soooo familar. Huh? 😕 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-god-im-not-the-only-insane-one/224663.md?page=3)