# My Grandma Just Died **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 13, 2001, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-grandma-just-died/72358 "2001-07-13T12:31:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![chique](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@chique](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chique)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-grandma-just-died/72358/21 "2001-07-13T17:49:50Z")
☹ I’m so sorry ☹ Lost my first grandparent a few months ago. Tomorrow I’m moving in to _her_ house (her house, cos it’ll never be mine), to keep grampa company. I miss her a LOT. ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-grandma-just-died/72358/22 "2001-07-13T18:54:10Z")
☹ Sorry, **Fenris**. My sympathies to you and your family. ---
**Author:** ![ruadh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d2c977/32.png) [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-grandma-just-died/72358/23 "2001-07-13T19:10:06Z")
Oh, Fenris, I am **so** sorry. I still cry over my granny who died ten years ago. I hope yours and mine are having a great laugh somewhere. ---
**Author:** ![Lady\_Juliet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cc9497/32.png) [@Lady\_Juliet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lady_Juliet)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-grandma-just-died/72358/24 "2001-07-13T19:13:44Z")
☹ You have my sympathy. I’ve been there…my grandmother died about a year ago. She was an amazing person, and I’m sure yours was as well. Sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-grandma-just-died/72358/25 "2001-07-13T20:24:36Z")
I can only say the same things everyone else has. I am very sorry for your loss. I’ll remember you and your family in my prayers tonight. I’m forty-six and still have my one grandmother, in fairly good health(she’s ninety-six), but when she goes I think I will go around the bend for a while. And again, as others have said, remember the good times you were lucky enough to have. It sounds awfully trite now, but it will work later. ---
**Author:** ![YWalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/6f9a4e/32.png) [@YWalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YWalker)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-grandma-just-died/72358/26 "2001-07-13T21:46:56Z")
I am so sorry for your family’s loss, **Fenris**. Yeah, the funeral thing hurts, but it is important to be there for your Dad. Almost as painful as the loss of a grandparent is the vulnerability you see it create in your previously “invincible” parents. With my deepest sympathy, Lib ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-grandma-just-died/72358/27 "2001-07-13T22:15:30Z")
☹ I’m sorry, Fenris. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-grandma-just-died/72358/28 "2001-07-13T22:33:40Z")
It breaks my heart to know that someone who has brought so much laughter in to my life is hurting so badly. You’re in my thoughts, Fenris. ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-grandma-just-died/72358/29 "2001-07-13T22:38:52Z")
Words are inadequate. Sorry **Fenris.** ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-grandma-just-died/72358/30 "2001-07-13T22:39:34Z")
I’m not sure what I can add that hasn’t already been said, Fenris, but as you are one of my favourite posters here, I have to add my condolences. I’ve been there too may times before. I can assure you that it gets better, but that’s small comfort right now, I know. Still, you and your family will be in my thoughts. Take care. ---
**Author:** ![Elenfair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cc9497/32.png) [@Elenfair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elenfair)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-grandma-just-died/72358/31 "2001-07-13T22:46:47Z")
☹ My sincerest condolences, Fenris. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Jeannie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@Jeannie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeannie)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-grandma-just-died/72358/32 "2001-07-13T23:07:11Z")
I lost my grandma (only grandparent I had) last November. She lived with us and raised me at least as much as my mom did. So I know how difficult this can be. Please accept my condolences. I don’t know if you’re religious, but I hope it’s alright for me to say a little prayer for your family. You will be in my thoughts. ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-grandma-just-died/72358/33 "2001-07-13T23:45:20Z")
i’m sorry fenris. may her memory be eternal. ---
**Author:** ![Wallflower](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Wallflower](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallflower)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-grandma-just-died/72358/34 "2001-07-14T00:00:58Z")
☹ My sympathies, Fenris. ---
**Author:** ![Wicked\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/2acd7d/32.png) [@Wicked\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wicked_Blue)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-grandma-just-died/72358/35 "2001-07-14T00:40:31Z")
I’m sorry, Fenris. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![robgruver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@robgruver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robgruver)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-grandma-just-died/72358/36 "2001-07-14T00:46:52Z")
Having recently lost my grandmother, I understand your pain. I send you my warmest thoughts. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-grandma-just-died/72358/37 "2001-07-14T13:50:26Z")
I wanted to thank everyone for the condolences and prayers, they’re really appreciated. And I _really_ wanted to thank everyone for **not** saying things like “Oh, the funeral provides closure. You’ll feel better for having gone” (if I hear that IRL one more time I’m gonna snap). I know you folks understand, and this rantlette is notdirected at you:[ul] [li]Going will _not_ make me feel better (except for the “I did the right thing by being there for my parents” feeling)[/li][li]It will _not_ provide closure.[/li][li]It’s not something that I’ll feel better about later.[/li][/ul] You people are great. Thanks. Fenris ---
**Author:** ![OxyMoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e9a140/32.png) [@OxyMoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OxyMoron)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-grandma-just-died/72358/38 "2001-07-14T19:15:08Z")
I hope this doesn’t sound ridiculously hokey and new-agey, but I was thinking… From what you’re saying it sounds like the ritual of a funeral doesn’t help much for you, but perhaps you can create a ritual of some kind just for yourself. For me it’s making some of my grandma’s recipes - so really, it can be anything. Peace and strength, Fenris. ---
**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-grandma-just-died/72358/39 "2001-07-14T23:36:13Z")
Very strange, Fenris. I just got back from two days in Chicago to learn that _my_ grandma just died, too. She was my last living grandparent as well. I’m gonna be a pallbearer at her funeral Monday morning near Detroit. I mostly feel bad for my mom (it was her mom). Seeing my mother cry ranks #1 on my List of Things I Hate. I take some solace in the fact that the last time I talked with my grandma, it was one of the best talks we had had in years, and I felt closer to her than I had in a while. So, obviously, my condolences go out to you. ---
**Author:** ![reprise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@reprise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/reprise)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2001, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-grandma-just-died/72358/40 "2001-07-15T00:01:11Z")
☹ My condolences to **Fenris** , **Milo** , and your respective families. I hope you both have wonderful memories of your grandmas, and that when the immediate pain of your loss has diminished, those memories will have you smiling and laughing often. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-grandma-just-died/72358.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-grandma-just-died/72358.md?page=3)