# My Grandmother just died today. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 10, 2007, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-grandmother-just-died-today/399551 "2007-04-10T22:21:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2007, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-grandmother-just-died-today/399551/21 "2007-04-11T20:05:38Z")
Jesus, Bos. Having a bad time, you are. I’m really sorry to hear this. Take care. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2007, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-grandmother-just-died-today/399551/22 "2007-04-11T20:16:42Z")
Wow, **Bosda**. That’s a one-two punch that no one deserves. It’s not fair at all. It’s important for you to take care of yourself right now, but it’s equally important for you to take care of your father. After a period of mourning, make sure he gets out of the house and has some fun. Even if it feels a little too early, do it. Losing a long time spouse is often bad for one’s health. His mood needs to be his medicine. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2007, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-grandmother-just-died-today/399551/23 "2007-04-11T20:25:38Z")
I’m more worried about Dad right now. He’s always been so strong in a crisis, but who can cope with _this?_ ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-grandmother-just-died-today/399551/24 "2007-04-12T01:52:26Z")
oh goodness, i’m so very sorry. your dad… oh dear, he is holding on the best he can. it is going to take a while for the shock to wear off and him to come to terms with things. right now he is going to deal with the funeral and family things, and be able to keep things and feelings at bay. that will get him through the next week or so. once things settle… keep tabs on him and perhaps you may have to speak to his doctor. he is no doubt going to need help with depression. i will keep you and most esp. your dad in my thoughts and prayers, may y’all be sent peace, comfort, and strength. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-grandmother-just-died-today/399551/25 "2007-04-12T01:54:59Z")
[{{{ **Bosda** }}}] If it doesn’t bother you, you and your family will be in my prayers tonight. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-grandmother-just-died-today/399551/26 "2007-04-12T02:01:56Z")
I am very sorry to hear this, **Bosda**. ---
**Author:** ![MoodIndigo1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@MoodIndigo1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoodIndigo1)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-grandmother-just-died-today/399551/27 "2007-04-12T02:31:49Z")
Just be there for your dad, Bosda, for the day he’s ready to accept your comfort. Take care of yourself. My condolences to you and your family. {{{{{Bosda}}}}} ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-grandmother-just-died-today/399551/28 "2007-04-12T07:06:59Z")
Oh **Bosda** , I’m so very sorry to hear that. Special thoughts are going out to you, your dad and all of your grandmother’s loved ones. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-grandmother-just-died-today/399551/29 "2007-04-12T07:20:09Z")
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] I’m more worried about Dad right now. He’s always been so strong in a crisis, but who can cope with _this?_ [/QUOTE] And having always been the strong one, it’s perfectly likely that he’ll either be able to cope just fine (nobody believed I was doing fine when Dad died, but 99% of the time I _was_) or that he won’t but will try to play John Wayne. May you have the intelligence to tell both apart, the wisdom to know how to get him to admit his feelings when it’s the second, and the strength to accept both. ---
**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-grandmother-just-died-today/399551/30 "2007-04-12T12:03:49Z")
I’m very sorry for your loss, **Bosda**. ---
**Author:** ![goldenmean1975](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@goldenmean1975](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/goldenmean1975)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-grandmother-just-died-today/399551/31 "2007-04-12T12:34:32Z")
Your dad is most fortunate to have you to care about him. He will come around. I’m terribly sorry for your losses. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-grandmother-just-died-today/399551/32 "2007-04-12T21:03:14Z")
He refuses to let me do anything around the house. I suspect a coping/control mechanism. He wants to be the one to do things, so he can be in control of them, & therefore in control of his life. ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Greenback](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baron_greenback/32/48_2.png) [@Baron\_Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Greenback)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-grandmother-just-died-today/399551/33 "2007-04-12T21:46:27Z")
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] He refuses to let me do anything around the house. I suspect a coping/control mechanism. He wants to be the one to do things, so he can be in control of them, & therefore in control of his life. [/QUOTE] That’s exactly what he’s doing, **Bosda**. It’s going to fall to you to be there when that isn’t enough to distract him. Good luck man and best wishes. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-grandmother-just-died-today/399551/34 "2007-04-12T23:29:12Z")
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] Dad is devastated. But he won’t even let me hug him. Mom died 2/19/07. Now this. [/QUOTE] My sympathies, amigo. I lost my mom on 01/28. Just be there for him. Talk to him as much as possible and get him talking about his mom as much as possible. It will help. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-grandmother-just-died-today/399551/35 "2007-04-12T23:51:00Z")
**Bosda** I’m so sorry for your loss. This has been a really tough year for you and your family. You, your dad and the rest of your family are in my thoughts and prayers. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-grandmother-just-died-today/399551.md?page=1)