# My heathens got the good stuff! (Chick tracts) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 31, 2002, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-heathens-got-the-good-stuff-chick-tracts/134664 "2002-10-31T05:56:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-heathens-got-the-good-stuff-chick-tracts/134664/1 "2002-10-31T05:56:51Z")
Last year I started a thread about how when we went trick or treating my heathens didn’t get the good stuff aka Chick tracts. This year one of them recieved one. Scary stuff I’ll tell you! In the neighborhood we went to there was a really cool homemade haunted house that we went to. Really well done and at the end they gave out full size candybars for those who made it to the end. Well, the candy bars, apples, and Chick tracts! Isn’t that kind of an oxymoron? You go all out for Halloween and then give out tracts saying how you are going to hell? I’m confused? We were all excited because while waiting in line they broke us up into groups of two to three to go with tour guides. Some of us were labeled “not food” or “food”. What a way to build the anticipation. I mean it really worked on the heathens. Wondering what in the heck was going to happen in there since none of them had ever been in a haunted house. At the end nothing happened because of the labels it was all part of the scare! Kinda cool really. They had all the normal stuff like Jason and Mike Myers and scream masks and that horrible evil clown! I mean it wasn’t like it was a theme of burn in hell, it was a normal fun house/haunted house. Then Chick tracts?! ---
**Author:** ![I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_can_t_believe_that_s_butter)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-heathens-got-the-good-stuff-chick-tracts/134664/2 "2002-10-31T06:02:56Z")
I guess you had a separate trick-or-treat holiday? Anyhow, I hope I run across some; as I posted along with others who feel the same, I find them pretty funny. This is probably a healing measure since I had the bejeeses scared out of me when I read that damned This Was Your Life one… ---
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-heathens-got-the-good-stuff-chick-tracts/134664/3 "2002-10-31T06:12:29Z")
Living in the Quad Cities we usually get two nights of trick or treat. Davenport did theirs tonight because the parade is tomorrow and Bettendorf is doing theirs tomorrow night. I’m not sure about the Illinois side of the river. ---
**Author:** ![dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorkusmalorkusmafia/32/7266_2.png) [@dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dorkusmalorkusmafia)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-heathens-got-the-good-stuff-chick-tracts/134664/4 "2002-10-31T17:22:22Z")
"Well, the candy bars, apples, and Chick tracts! Isn’t that kind of an oxymoron? You go all out for Halloween and then give out tracts saying how you are going to hell? " That is so funny. Let’s just pretend they were really trying to scare the kids with that fundamentalist mask. I know it scares me. I got the heeby jeebies already. ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-heathens-got-the-good-stuff-chick-tracts/134664/5 "2002-10-31T17:48:21Z")
Huh… Someone was too good to bring her kids by **our** house for trick-or-treat and to see BabyMaeve™’s fabulous bunny costume. We were passing out airline mini bottles of Jack Daniels and hotel shampoo bottles…kids seemed to love 'em. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-heathens-got-the-good-stuff-chick-tracts/134664/6 "2002-10-31T18:32:49Z")
Well, that settles it!! I was trying to think of a good scary costume for Hallowe’en parties — I’ll go as a fundamentalist!!! ---
**Author:** ![Papermache\_Prince](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f05b48/32.png) [@Papermache\_Prince](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Papermache_Prince)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-heathens-got-the-good-stuff-chick-tracts/134664/7 "2002-10-31T19:18:57Z")
Anyone seen this independent movie –Hell House? “Trinity Church in Texas puts on something called Hell House every Halloween. It’s like a haunted house, but each scene shows teenage church members acting out scenes of things the church considers sins. There’s a homosexual dying of AIDS; a girl in an abortion clinic (on a doctor’s table with fake blood splashed between her legs); a mom who leaves her family for someone she meets on the Internet.” _This American Life_ did a segment on the movie on their May 24, 2002 show #213 “Devil on My Shoulder.” In the archives, you can catch an audio clip with Ira Glass and the director, George Ratliff. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-heathens-got-the-good-stuff-chick-tracts/134664/8 "2002-10-31T19:41:19Z")
I don’t get it - people have a haunted house and pass out Chick tracts? If it’s not a joke, then they are seriously imperiling their immortal soul. Here’s what [Jack Chick has to say about Halloween](http://www.chick.com/seasonal/halloween/celebrate.asp) > [@](#): > > If you are a Christian parent, God has given you a precious responsibility in your children. Remember, their ability to resist spiritual wickedness is much less than yours. If you allow your children to participate in Halloween (Trick or Treating, costume parties, etc.) you are allowing them to play on “the devil’s turf,” and Satan will definitely press his home court advantage. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-heathens-got-the-good-stuff-chick-tracts/134664/9 "2002-10-31T20:02:00Z")
More proof, if needed, that haunted houses are evil: read this Chick Tract [Happy Halloween](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0032/0032_01.asp) Young Timmy convinces his friends to go visit a haunted house. They get scared, run out in the street, and Timmy gets hit by a car and dies. Of course, young Timmy goes … (insert ominous music here) **Straight to Hell!** Words of wisdom from the tract: “Don’t make the mistake of believing that good people go to heaven and bad people go to hell. That’s a _ **lie** _ straight from the devil.” :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2002, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-heathens-got-the-good-stuff-chick-tracts/134664/10 "2002-11-01T19:17:51Z")
Dave, sorry we didn’t stop by! Holy cow I feel like a heel! The way we were going we were a half hour late getting out there anyway. But, I do want pictures! I thought maybe I had inspired Polycarp to go as the man Jack Chick himself.😉 Anyone know what that guy looks like anyway? Papermache Prince, I thought I had heard of something like that somewhere before. Scary stuff! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2002, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-heathens-got-the-good-stuff-chick-tracts/134664/11 "2002-11-02T20:44:33Z")
Hmmm. When I was a youngun’, I went trick-or-treating every Halloween. From about the middle of 8th grade to about the middle of my sophomore year of high school, I went to a fundamentalist Christian school (parents were nonbelievers, they got the idea that since I was picked on by bullies in middle school, I must have been a “bad kid” and they thought the fundies would straighten me out." In said school, I was exposed to Chick Tracts. I turned out to be a believing Catholic. Hmmm. OK, everybody form a circle around **Kricket’s** little heathens. Somebody get a non-fiction book, preferably one of the Straight Dope books. Now, **Kricket** , hold the book over the little heathen’s heads. Do you, [heathen], renounce Jack Chick and all his works? Do you renounce hatred against Catholics, Muslims, Jews, New Agers, homosexuals and Protestant Christians who aren’t fundamentalist enough? Do you renounce all badly drawn comic type books? Do you promise that, when given a Chick Tract, you will do your best to refute the lies contained therein? Do you promise that, while the Giver of the Chick Tract is still within earshot, you will laugh out loud, and throw the Chick Tract into the nearest trash can, its natural home, or give it to a person, strong in reason, who collects them for their humorous content? In the name of all that is true, or at least factually accurate, I command Jack Chick and all his minions to depart from this child of reasonable intelligence, and remove himself to the More Unpleasant Regions of the Universe. And all the people said, Amen. ---
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2002, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-heathens-got-the-good-stuff-chick-tracts/134664/12 "2002-11-04T14:45:35Z")
Thank you Thea, I needed that! In a way I wish I would have known about the tract when he got it so that I could have maybe said something. Not sure what I would have said really if anything. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2002, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-heathens-got-the-good-stuff-chick-tracts/134664/13 "2002-11-04T16:11:04Z")
Maybe they mis-heard and thought people go **Chick** -or-treating on Halloween. I can’t help wondering if someday the whole Jack Chick Ministry will be revealed to be a colossal fraud perpetrated by secular humanists who were hoping to expose fundamentalist Christianity as preposterous humbug by using _reductio ad absurdum_ and amateurishly scrawled cartoons. Haw, haw, haw! That’d be rich! ---
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2002, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-heathens-got-the-good-stuff-chick-tracts/134664/14 "2002-11-05T08:10:47Z")
Chef Troy! _KISS_ How I have missed you!!! Maybe Foster can get a job working for Chick? You know you have turned me into an addict.