# My husband died last night **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 19, 2009, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-died-last-night/481999 "2009-01-19T16:10:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 19
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2009, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-died-last-night/481999/361 "2009-01-24T00:37:27Z")
I’m so sorry… ☹ You are in our thoughts here. ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2009, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-died-last-night/481999/362 "2009-01-24T01:23:30Z")
i’m very glad the both of you had the courage to go for the gold ring. thank you for sharing a bit of your wonderful husband with us. i hope the years of love you had together sustains you in the years ahead. may you be granted strength and peace. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2009, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-died-last-night/481999/363 "2009-01-24T02:24:45Z")
I’m very sorry to hear about this, **js**. I’m glad that you had so much good stuff together tho. My condolences to you. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2009, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-died-last-night/481999/364 "2009-01-24T02:31:18Z")
I hope that when I die, someone will think as well of me. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2009, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-died-last-night/481999/365 "2009-01-24T16:55:00Z")
Hi, everyone. I think reality is setting in for me today. He’s not out of town on a trip or gone to a movie or caught up playing a computer game. He’s gone entirely. And I’m alone entirely. Your well-wishes help. It makes me feel like he had an effect on the world, even if only indirectly, that he didn’t just disappear. Already I feel a little disconnected from our life together, as if I only dreamed it. ---
**Author:** ![SlowMindThinking](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@SlowMindThinking](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlowMindThinking)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2009, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-died-last-night/481999/366 "2009-01-24T20:09:23Z")
Know that you are not entirely alone. ---
**Author:** ![Suse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@Suse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suse)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2009, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-died-last-night/481999/367 "2009-01-24T20:12:34Z")
I think the disconnect is how the mind protects itself after a great shock, and death is a shock no matter how prepared we think we are. Just be gentle with yourself, and talk when you need to talk and be quiet when you need to be quiet. You know we are here whenever you need us. ---
**Author:** ![DudleyGarrett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DudleyGarrett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DudleyGarrett)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2009, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-died-last-night/481999/368 "2009-01-25T00:04:12Z")
I’m so sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2009, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-died-last-night/481999/369 "2009-01-25T00:09:12Z")
If anyone is interested in donating towards a memorial for Steve, please see [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=503387). **jsgoddess** , thanks for checking in every so often. I’m so glad you still feel like being “here” with us. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2009, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-died-last-night/481999/370 "2009-01-25T01:47:36Z")
**jsgoddess** , my deepest sympathies and my wishes for peace and strength. ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2009, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-died-last-night/481999/371 "2009-01-25T19:36:36Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > If anyone is interested in donating towards a memorial for Steve, please see [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=503387). > > **jsgoddess** , thanks for checking in every so often. I’m so glad you still feel like being “here” with us. Thanks for organizating the donation thread, **ZipperJJ**. ---
**Author:** ![Ensign\_Edison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@Ensign\_Edison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ensign_Edison)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2009, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-died-last-night/481999/372 "2009-01-25T21:19:51Z")
I’m very sorry for your terrible loss. ---
**Author:** ![shijinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@shijinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shijinn)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-died-last-night/481999/373 "2009-01-26T05:57:16Z")
☹ ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-died-last-night/481999/374 "2009-01-26T06:44:53Z")
My condolences as well. You have many friends here who care about you. Please let us help if you need anything. Bill ---
**Author:** ![Crotalus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crotalus/32/41_2.png) [@Crotalus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crotalus)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-died-last-night/481999/375 "2009-01-26T15:31:38Z")
**jsgoddess** - I am so sorry. When my wife died years ago, the reality asserted itself in stages. First, our dog came home from staying with friends and he ran directly to the bed where she had spent most of the year preceding her death. For some reason, the dog’s disappointment made her death seem more real. Then all the friends and family went home and I was in the house alone, dealing with silence and echoes. Then I went back to work, and returned to the empty house each night, and it was still empty. Then months later, a strange recurring pain. When I would mow the lawn while my wife was ill, she would sometimes come out to the patio in her bathrobe when she wanted me for something. She would just stand there, waiting until I would notice her and stop the mower to see what she wanted. During the spring after she died, I would catch myself looking toward the patio expecting to see her. And finally, for years after her death, I would find myself thinking “I can’t wait to tell Joanne about this” when something that I thought would interest her would come to my attention. I’m sitting at work right now crying. Julie, you will be in my thoughts and prayers for a long time. I wish you peace. Peace will come, eventually. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-died-last-night/481999.md?page=18)