# My Husband Has Bladder Cancer \[sad update\]
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-has-bladder-cancer-sad-update/776524
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [January 7, 2017, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-has-bladder-cancer-sad-update/776524 "2017-01-07T14:41:12Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 13
### Author:  [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)
#### Post date: [March 20, 2017, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-has-bladder-cancer-sad-update/776524/241 "2017-03-20T02:57:31Z")
Thinking of both **Broomstick** and her husband and wishing them strength.
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### Author:  [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2017, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-has-bladder-cancer-sad-update/776524/242 "2017-03-22T13:05:11Z")
Moved the husband to a nursing home last night. He’s there under the “rehab” category in hopes of building him up a little bit. That may or may not work but it’s worth a try. The rehab person who evaluated him prior to the transfer said that she was pleasantly surprised that his joints were loose, he had full range of motion, and even a little bit of strength. Well, he has been making a point of moving around as much as possible even while in bed, he knows how important that is.
I’m working on taking a full leave from work.
Very mixed feeling over putting him in such a facility but I simply can not provide the 24/7 care he needs at home. I’m trying to sell him on some of the upsides - he can finally get barbered, we can get him into a chair and out in the fresh air (something he has expressed as wanting to do) which would not have been practical at the hospital, and so on.
So far insurance is covering everything. Well, everything medical. Still seems too good to be true.
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### Author:  [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2017, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-has-bladder-cancer-sad-update/776524/243 "2017-03-22T13:37:23Z")
I think of you both every day, you’re doing a really wonderful job, sincerely. I’m glad to hear of the insurance coverage AND the full leave, that’s great news!
Sending my very best wishes to you both! XO
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### Author:  [@TubaDiva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TubaDiva)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2017, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-has-bladder-cancer-sad-update/776524/244 "2017-03-22T14:37:59Z")
All best to you and your husband … praying for good outcomes and happier days. Also glad to know you have some support for your situations here, this is truly what insurance is all about, these terrible times. Don’t turn down any assistance offered to you, this is when you really need it most. This includes support groups for carepartners; as someone who has been there, I highly recommend it, there is much strength to be gained from the shared experiences. We got you here, too, the Doper community is good at holding people up in times of crisis. You go do what needs to be done and let us know what we can do for you.
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### Author:  [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2017, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-has-bladder-cancer-sad-update/776524/245 "2017-03-22T22:19:15Z")
Well, the spouse really put me through the wringer today, he’s been trying to dictate, bargain, and emotionally manipulate his way out of the nursing home. I’m exhausted, sad, and angry.
Since I don’t yet have leave from work I now get to go in and work half a shift.
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### Author:  [@Shinna\_Minna\_Ma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shinna_Minna_Ma)
#### Post date: [March 23, 2017, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-has-bladder-cancer-sad-update/776524/246 "2017-03-23T17:45:08Z")
I empathize with you: I’ve been through it, and these situations are the pits.
You and your husband are both in my thoughts and prayers.
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### Author:  [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)
#### Post date: [March 24, 2017, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-has-bladder-cancer-sad-update/776524/247 "2017-03-24T19:32:41Z")
> [@Broomstick](#):
>
> Moved the husband to a nursing home last night. He’s there under the “rehab” category in hopes of building him up a little bit. That may or may not work but it’s worth a try. …
It might be the perfect solution, for him to spend a couple weeks there. You don’t have the skills, equipment or energy to do all the caregiving that they can do there. My mother-in-law spent 2-3 weeks at a rehab facility when she was diagnosed with multiple myeloma - in fact I think the rehab stint was before the official diagnosis. She had become so debilitated (and FIL had no clue what to do); when my SIL was there for a visit, she persuaded MIL to go to the ER to get checked out after a fall. Thankfully the hospital people insisted on admitting her; gave her some blood transfusions, then sad “you’re going to rehab!”.
Do keep an eye on them to make sure they ARE providing all services he’s supposed to get; MIL was kept there over the weekends even though they weren’t doing any therapy; she was finally discharged on a Monday (so they could get the weekend’s worth of Medicare reimbursement for doing nothing…) and when she was there again after a hip replacement they were skipping things when they could get away with it. Still, overall the stays benefited her.
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### Author:  [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)
#### Post date: [March 24, 2017, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-has-bladder-cancer-sad-update/776524/248 "2017-03-24T22:10:36Z")
If anything, this facility is doing more than they are paid for.
Unfortunately, it looks like we’re down to mere days.
A long time ago I learned that sometimes the hardest thing to do is to do nothing… and yes, it’s still true today.
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### Author:  [@Aspenglow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspenglow)
#### Post date: [March 24, 2017, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-has-bladder-cancer-sad-update/776524/249 "2017-03-24T22:26:37Z")
**Broomstick** , I am so sorry. Such a painful time. I wish for you and your husband comfort and peace in the time you have together, however long that may be. This is as rough as it gets, I think. Gentle hugs.
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### Author:  [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)
#### Post date: [March 25, 2017, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-has-bladder-cancer-sad-update/776524/250 "2017-03-25T02:58:42Z")
**Broomstick** , I’m sorry that you are going through this but I know you’ll get through it. It’s very apparent from reading your posts that you did the best you could under the worst circumstances and that you love your husband a lot.
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### Author:  [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)
#### Post date: [March 25, 2017, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-has-bladder-cancer-sad-update/776524/251 "2017-03-25T03:02:40Z")
I am so very sorry.
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### Author:  [@Tapiotar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapiotar)
#### Post date: [March 25, 2017, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-has-bladder-cancer-sad-update/776524/252 "2017-03-25T10:16:43Z")
Wishing you and your husband all the strength, patience, and love you need to get through this. My heart goes out to you both.
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### Author:  [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)
#### Post date: [March 25, 2017, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-has-bladder-cancer-sad-update/776524/253 "2017-03-25T10:40:12Z")
Just got a call from the nursing home - he’s running a 102 degree fever (Fahrenheit, of course), shallow breathing, dropping blood pressure…
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### Author:  [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)
#### Post date: [March 25, 2017, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-has-bladder-cancer-sad-update/776524/254 "2017-03-25T12:01:40Z")
Sending you both hugs and peace, Godspeed. XO
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### Author:  [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)
#### Post date: [March 25, 2017, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-has-bladder-cancer-sad-update/776524/255 "2017-03-25T22:24:48Z")
He’s stabilized for now. Still has a fever but we got some Tylenol into him. He seems to be resting peacefully, mostly asleep. No longer verbal, but he does respond to voice and touch, he opens his eyes and looks at whoever is speaking. At those times he is clearly experiencing some distress but it’s hard to say how much.
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### Author:  [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)
#### Post date: [March 26, 2017, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-has-bladder-cancer-sad-update/776524/256 "2017-03-26T00:14:44Z")
(( **Broomstick** and husband))
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### Author:  [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)
#### Post date: [March 26, 2017, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-has-bladder-cancer-sad-update/776524/257 "2017-03-26T00:24:53Z")
Ah shit.
I’m so sorry **Broomstick.**
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### Author:  [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)
#### Post date: [March 26, 2017, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-has-bladder-cancer-sad-update/776524/258 "2017-03-26T00:56:52Z")
☹ Many hugs and prayers for both of you.
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### Author:  [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)
#### Post date: [March 26, 2017, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-has-bladder-cancer-sad-update/776524/259 "2017-03-26T01:00:20Z")
> [@Broomstick](#):
>
> Just got a call from the nursing home - he’s running a 102 degree fever (Fahrenheit, of course), shallow breathing, dropping blood pressure…
I’m so sorry for you both ☹
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### Author:  [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)
#### Post date: [March 26, 2017, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-has-bladder-cancer-sad-update/776524/260 "2017-03-26T01:05:04Z")
☹
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