Thinking of both Broomstick and her husband and wishing them strength.
Moved the husband to a nursing home last night. He’s there under the “rehab” category in hopes of building him up a little bit. That may or may not work but it’s worth a try. The rehab person who evaluated him prior to the transfer said that she was pleasantly surprised that his joints were loose, he had full range of motion, and even a little bit of strength. Well, he has been making a point of moving around as much as possible even while in bed, he knows how important that is.
I’m working on taking a full leave from work.
Very mixed feeling over putting him in such a facility but I simply can not provide the 24/7 care he needs at home. I’m trying to sell him on some of the upsides - he can finally get barbered, we can get him into a chair and out in the fresh air (something he has expressed as wanting to do) which would not have been practical at the hospital, and so on.
So far insurance is covering everything. Well, everything medical. Still seems too good to be true.
I think of you both every day, you’re doing a really wonderful job, sincerely. I’m glad to hear of the insurance coverage AND the full leave, that’s great news!
Sending my very best wishes to you both! XO
All best to you and your husband … praying for good outcomes and happier days. Also glad to know you have some support for your situations here, this is truly what insurance is all about, these terrible times. Don’t turn down any assistance offered to you, this is when you really need it most. This includes support groups for carepartners; as someone who has been there, I highly recommend it, there is much strength to be gained from the shared experiences. We got you here, too, the Doper community is good at holding people up in times of crisis. You go do what needs to be done and let us know what we can do for you.
Well, the spouse really put me through the wringer today, he’s been trying to dictate, bargain, and emotionally manipulate his way out of the nursing home. I’m exhausted, sad, and angry.
Since I don’t yet have leave from work I now get to go in and work half a shift.
I empathize with you: I’ve been through it, and these situations are the pits.
You and your husband are both in my thoughts and prayers.
It might be the perfect solution, for him to spend a couple weeks there. You don’t have the skills, equipment or energy to do all the caregiving that they can do there. My mother-in-law spent 2-3 weeks at a rehab facility when she was diagnosed with multiple myeloma - in fact I think the rehab stint was before the official diagnosis. She had become so debilitated (and FIL had no clue what to do); when my SIL was there for a visit, she persuaded MIL to go to the ER to get checked out after a fall. Thankfully the hospital people insisted on admitting her; gave her some blood transfusions, then sad “you’re going to rehab!”.
Do keep an eye on them to make sure they ARE providing all services he’s supposed to get; MIL was kept there over the weekends even though they weren’t doing any therapy; she was finally discharged on a Monday (so they could get the weekend’s worth of Medicare reimbursement for doing nothing…) and when she was there again after a hip replacement they were skipping things when they could get away with it. Still, overall the stays benefited her.
If anything, this facility is doing more than they are paid for.
Unfortunately, it looks like we’re down to mere days.
A long time ago I learned that sometimes the hardest thing to do is to do nothing… and yes, it’s still true today.
Broomstick, I am so sorry. Such a painful time. I wish for you and your husband comfort and peace in the time you have together, however long that may be. This is as rough as it gets, I think. Gentle hugs.
Broomstick, I’m sorry that you are going through this but I know you’ll get through it. It’s very apparent from reading your posts that you did the best you could under the worst circumstances and that you love your husband a lot.
I am so very sorry.
Wishing you and your husband all the strength, patience, and love you need to get through this. My heart goes out to you both.
Just got a call from the nursing home - he’s running a 102 degree fever (Fahrenheit, of course), shallow breathing, dropping blood pressure…
Sending you both hugs and peace, Godspeed. XO
He’s stabilized for now. Still has a fever but we got some Tylenol into him. He seems to be resting peacefully, mostly asleep. No longer verbal, but he does respond to voice and touch, he opens his eyes and looks at whoever is speaking. At those times he is clearly experiencing some distress but it’s hard to say how much.
((Broomstick and husband))
Ah shit.
I’m so sorry Broomstick.
Many hugs and prayers for both of you.
I’m so sorry for you both 