Actually, reading the thread, I think my question has already been addressed.
This is what I was going to say. When I read that DoperChic had sex with her husband after all of the drama, I knew that she was being played. They simply could not have worked things out that quickly unless he was just telling her what she wanted to hear. DoperChic gave him an easy out with the “how would you feel if the tables were turned” thing. As soon as he heard those words the skies opened above him and he knew he was home free. “I wouldn’t like that at all”, lots of apologizing, even more "I love you"s, and he had gotten away with it again and was getting laid. And she posts about what an amazing man, husband, and father he is. I bet even he was surprised that he got away with it.
I didn’t know DoperChic’s husband posted here.
I was being facetious with my suggestion to visit a male strip club (honestly, they’re about as titillating as a Playgirl), but it’d be nice to see what boundaries and peer pressure are acceptable for the goose and for the gander.
About a week ago, I went back into counseling. At the suggestion of both the therapist and my general doctor, I also began taking Lexapro. Within 3 days of taking the meds, I feel like a new person. The fog is slowly starting to lift and I’m better able to deal. Depression and anxiety are, for me at least, a definite medical/chemical thing. It’s like a switch is flipped in my brain and the medication combined with counseling is helping to reverse that switch.
Woo hoo! 
Glad to hear it! I was similar when I first started taking Celexa.
It truly is like night and day, isn’t it?
Just yesterday morning, I told my husband that I felt completely at peace for the first time in months. Months, people! It was amazing. The anxiety isn’t totally gone yet. But the peaceful feelings are starting to slowly take the place of the anxiety.
I’m at a really low dose to ease into it, too. Tomorrow I start what will probably be my full maintenance dosage. I’m excited to see how well this works out.
I’m really glad you’re feeling better Doperchic, and I don’t want to bring any doubts back, but…
I’ve just reread this entire thread and have become a bit concerned/alarmed at the direction its taken in your posts. Regardless of whether or not going to a strip club is a good/bad/permissible thing in a relationship, most posters got the point that your problem was not your husband going, but that he went even though you said you were upset about it. Yet you are the one going for counselling and you are the one ‘working on your issues’? Has your husband unequivocally said he will NEVER go to a strip club again? Does he even realise why you were upset, or is he just saying what he thinks you want to hear/will give him a quiet life? I suspect the latter - if he really cares about how you feel, why go when he knows it will upset you? The first visit could be excused by ignorance (though I don’t buy that); the second, no.
FWIW, I don’t think I would mind my husband going to a strip club. But I would sure as hell rip his balls off if he went as I was crying and begging with him not to go - it would very probably be a dealbreaker. I also think your husband, as astro and others have said, could be playing you, just by focusing on what your definition of ‘cheating’ is. He may claim not to think that a lap dance where he came and where he kissed the dancer was actual cheating, but you can bet your ass he would have known it was inappropriate. Saying something like ‘But I didn’t think you would see that as cheating, baby!’ just clouds the issue, imo.
Like Skald, I’m coming to this thread with my own relationship history, and I don’t want to hijack. You may, as many people do in relationships, have trust and anxiety issues that made you react to this situation a bit more emotionally than you would have liked. But that doesn’t mean it’s all down to you. Your husband behaved like an ass - deal with your own issues that this has brought up, yes, but don’t let him away scot free. He seems to think he can do whatever he wants as long as he acts contrite and apologises - he’ll be the one wondering why and calling you an overreacting bitch when you finally have enough and leave him.
If I have it all wrong, I apologise - but do listen to the people in this thread who have been on either side of this fence and ask if this applies to you. Advice from a random internet person is worth as much as you pay for it I know, but feel free to PM if you want to talk. Good luck.
Let me see if I understand…you are/were not married to a guy, got pregnant by him and question his values for going to a strip club? What is wrong with this picture? GET OUT NOW!
amoral means just that…no morals. this is what has allowed your situation from start to finish. Now you have morals? Now you have expectations? Wow…just wow.
Er, wyovegas that was 4 years ago…
Welcome to the SDMB, wyovegas. This thread is three and a half years old, so presumably any issues raised have been resolved one way or the other.
If you wish to comment on people’s relationships, you’ll find plenty of active threads in our IMHO forum.
twickster, MPSIMS moderator