# My Husband Is Really Ill (Liver Failure) \[edited title\]
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-really-ill-liver-failure-edited-title/575065
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [March 17, 2011, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-really-ill-liver-failure-edited-title/575065 "2011-03-17T20:50:05Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 5
### Author:  [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)
#### Post date: [March 19, 2011, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-really-ill-liver-failure-edited-title/575065/81 "2011-03-19T01:26:54Z")
Adding my prayers to the group.
{{{{FaithFool}}}}
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### Author:  [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)
#### Post date: [March 19, 2011, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-really-ill-liver-failure-edited-title/575065/82 "2011-03-19T01:29:50Z")
Good point, **D/a**. Also, do you have anyone else who could go with you and take notes, Kemi? I have a friend who does that at major doctor’s appointments. That way she has someone else who has heard the same thing, but isn’t as personally involved in the situation. (This might be something that a patient advocate could do; or they might be able to find someone else who could provide that type of support…)
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### Author:  [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)
#### Post date: [March 19, 2011, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-really-ill-liver-failure-edited-title/575065/83 "2011-03-19T01:31:57Z")
Yikes. I’m sorry this is happening to you both.
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### Author:  [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)
#### Post date: [March 19, 2011, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-really-ill-liver-failure-edited-title/575065/84 "2011-03-19T01:34:30Z")
You and your hubby are in my thoughts, **faithfool**. Post if there’s anything any of us can do for you from cyberspace.
**{{{faithfool}}}**
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### Author:  [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)
#### Post date: [March 19, 2011, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-really-ill-liver-failure-edited-title/575065/85 "2011-03-19T01:38:41Z")
I am so sorry you are going through this, Kemi.
I was going to suggest the pen and paper/note taking/questions to ask strategy, but Digital beat me to it. (Note that I still mention it)
Have they actually said it is cirrhosis? Or is that just part of the differential diagnosis (a list of possible diagnoses)? I find it a bit odd that they have already said he will need a transplant.
Obviously you are a person of some level of faith. Allow your faith to do its job.
Sending genuine, heartfelt Doper prayers your way.
mmm
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### Author:  [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)
#### Post date: [March 19, 2011, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-really-ill-liver-failure-edited-title/575065/86 "2011-03-19T01:45:56Z")
sending good thoughts and prayers your way!
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### Author:  [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)
#### Post date: [March 19, 2011, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-really-ill-liver-failure-edited-title/575065/87 "2011-03-19T01:55:34Z")
Just chiming in to send some healing mojo your way. This completely sucks but the more information you have the less helpless you will feel. Take gentle care of yourself, my friend. You have an entire community here to help however we can.
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### Author:  [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)
#### Post date: [March 19, 2011, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-really-ill-liver-failure-edited-title/575065/88 "2011-03-19T02:03:42Z")
I don’t have family or friends in the area this weekend, but I will come Monday. However, I will definitely check into a patient advocate. As to the official diagnosis, they seem to agree on Cirrhosis. The other though, is just what the most recent specialist has advanced… That his liver is beginning to not work (I have no idea why though just don’t come out and say failing) and if that’s the case, he’ll need a transplant. That’s yet to be confirmed.
And I hope everyone doesn’t get tired of me saying this, but all your support, prayers and help mean the world to me. Your angels.
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### Author:  [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_is_the_new_Analog)
#### Post date: [March 19, 2011, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-really-ill-liver-failure-edited-title/575065/89 "2011-03-19T02:35:42Z")
> [@faithfool](#):
>
> The other though, is just what the most recent specialist has advanced… That his liver is beginning to not work (I have no idea why though just don’t come out and say failing)
So…here’s the point. If you have no idea why they are or aren’t saying something..ask! Any doctor worth his practice should be happy to explain it. Especially when it’s scary like this. A short explanation could clear it up and make it less scary..or at least understandable.
Maybe they don’t like the term failing. Maybe there’s a huge range of difference between beginning to not work and actually failing.
Personal example - I’m pre-diabetic. I was beginning to have high blood sugar. But with proper care and diet, I’m completely healthy with no pills. (Well..none for the blood sugar.). Does that mean my metabolism is failing? It’s beginning to not work? Or it’s a scary thing at first, and once understood, completely manageable?
In other news..I really like **gardentraveler** ’s idea to have a friend or family member take the notes for you..or in addition to you. If you don’t have anyone close, you may be able to lean on someone you don’t know as well. People can be tremendously helpful when someone is in need. If you are a member of a Church or Temple, reach out there. Ask the Pastor/Rabbi/etc if there is someone they could suggest to go with you. Or find someone else in your extended network.
Now isn’t the time to be shy about asking for help.
In any case, sorry that got so long. I’m glad you’ll have friends and family there after the weekend. I’ll be keeping more good thoughts for you.
-D/a
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### Author:  [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)
#### Post date: [March 19, 2011, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-really-ill-liver-failure-edited-title/575065/90 "2011-03-19T03:18:09Z")
> [@Nava](#):
>
> You can have cirrhosis without drinking - alcohol is commonly associated with it, but it does not need to be present for cirrhosis to develop.[/SIZE]
One of my great-aunts was a non-drinker, and would have died of cirrhosis if ovarian cancer hadn’t killed her first. She died long before I was born, but the family was told that the cirrhosis was caused by medication (anti-psychotic meds, maybe? she was schizophrenic) she’d taken for years and years.
> [@faithfool](#):
>
> I don’t have family or friends in the area this weekend, but I will come Monday. However, I will definitely check into a patient advocate. As to the official diagnosis, they seem to agree on Cirrhosis. The other though, is just what the most recent specialist has advanced… That his liver is beginning to not work (I have no idea why though just don’t come out and say failing) and if that’s the case, he’ll need a transplant. That’s yet to be confirmed.
>
> And I hope everyone doesn’t get tired of me saying this, but all your support, prayers and help mean the world to me. Your angels.
I hope he feels better soon, too faithfool. As I understand it, not only are livers easier to come by because liver doners can be used, they’re also easier than usual to match up as well.
:::::faithfool & hubby:::::
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### Author:  [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)
#### Post date: [March 19, 2011, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-really-ill-liver-failure-edited-title/575065/91 "2011-03-19T03:21:25Z")
Continued prayers for you, Kemi. I’m so sorry this is happening to y’all.
Great advice in this thread. Take care, sweetie.
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### Author:  [@Invisible\_Chimp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Invisible_Chimp)
#### Post date: [March 19, 2011, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-really-ill-liver-failure-edited-title/575065/92 "2011-03-19T03:24:47Z")
I hate these kinds of threads because I never know what to say. I feel helpless. I feel bad for you and hope that everything turns out okay for your husband in the end.
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### Author:  [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)
#### Post date: [March 19, 2011, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-really-ill-liver-failure-edited-title/575065/93 "2011-03-19T03:56:41Z")
Just finding this thread myself. Tons of positive thoughts being sent your way - keep on keepin’ on!
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### Author:  [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)
#### Post date: [March 19, 2011, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-really-ill-liver-failure-edited-title/575065/94 "2011-03-19T03:58:43Z")
I just want to let you know I’m thinking of you and your husband. Things like this are terrible to go through, but take care of yourselves and each other.
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### Author:  [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)
#### Post date: [March 19, 2011, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-really-ill-liver-failure-edited-title/575065/95 "2011-03-19T04:01:43Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#):
>
> \
> Have they actually said it is cirrhosis? Or is that just part of the differential diagnosis (a list of possible diagnoses)? I find it a bit odd that they have already said he will need a transplant.\
> [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](#):
>
> \
>
> Maybe they don’t like the term failing. Maybe there’s a huge range of difference between beginning to not work and actually failing.\
This was my thought, too - if they still haven’t nailed down a diagnosis, it’s far too early for them to be giving you treatment options. I suspect they might be giving you worst case scenarios - my advice would be to really try to hold off on worrying about treatments until they actually have a firm diagnosis (I know, easy to say, hard to do).
One other thing I wanted to mention is that when my husband was in the hospital having his gall bladder out (which, I know, is a fairly simple, straightforward procedure, even the bigger surgery that he had to have), for some unknown reason it made me very _angry_, of all things. If you start feeling angry, I just want you to know that it is in the spectrum of “normal” emotions for a situation like this.
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### Author:  [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)
#### Post date: [March 19, 2011, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-really-ill-liver-failure-edited-title/575065/96 "2011-03-19T04:11:15Z")
Glad to hear that good thoughts are helping – here’s some more, and a hug.
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### Author:  [@surrounded\_by\_literalists](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/surrounded_by_literalists)
#### Post date: [March 19, 2011, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-really-ill-liver-failure-edited-title/575065/97 "2011-03-19T04:12:46Z")
My name is new here, but I have been lurking for some time now. I feel like I have found my people.
I have been where you are right now and the concern we feel for our loved ones is truly as deep as the affection we have for them. I wish you both the best.
Now as a new nurse, I recommend you put on your big girl undies, grab a notebook and pen and start document your husbands care. Write down who treats him, what drugs he given, what labs are ordered, any and all questions you have when you have them, and ANYTHING you don’t completely understand.
Doctors and nurses will do their amazing best for your husband, but they can become so focused, that they sometimes forget that the patient and the family are part of the ‘team’. You are the expert on your husband, and what you know about him is very valuable to them.
They two of you will come through this
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### Author:  [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)
#### Post date: [March 19, 2011, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-really-ill-liver-failure-edited-title/575065/98 "2011-03-19T04:41:54Z")
**surrounded by literalists** , did you think up your username after you’d been here a while? 🙂 (And welcome!)
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### Author:  [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)
#### Post date: [March 19, 2011, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-really-ill-liver-failure-edited-title/575065/99 "2011-03-19T04:49:27Z")
Healing thoughts and prayers for your husband, and strengthening thoughts for you.
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### Author:  [@surrounded\_by\_literalists](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/surrounded_by_literalists)
#### Post date: [March 19, 2011, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-really-ill-liver-failure-edited-title/575065/100 "2011-03-19T05:06:06Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#):
>
> **surrounded by literalists** , did you think up your username after you’d been here a while? 🙂 (And welcome!)
When I moved to my small town I was mystified why people often spoke to me as a not so bright small child. Shortly after I realized that everybody was taking me literally; all the time. I am still learning to cope.
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