# My husband is seriously ill **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 13, 2025, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-seriously-ill/1023019 "2025-09-13T18:02:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![SunUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SunUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SunUp)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2025, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-seriously-ill/1023019/41 "2025-09-14T01:49:22Z")
Oh, my. I’m so sorry, puzzlegal. Best of luck to you and your husband, and all the digital support I can muster I will offer. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2025, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-seriously-ill/1023019/42 "2025-09-14T02:09:42Z")
Piling on the hoping for a best possible path forward. I a glad to read the stories of good long term courses, but while they gives good reasons to be very optimistic it does not make the unknowns any easier to deal with. Thinking of you and yours! ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2025, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-seriously-ill/1023019/43 "2025-09-14T02:27:16Z")
I am sorry to learn this and with everyone else here am hoping for the best outcomes and complete healing. I and others here are platelet donors. Your husband might need platelets for his treatments. I encourage everyone here to donate platelets if they can, or whole blood if they can (some cannot). It is nearly painless to do, only costs a little time and minor inconvenience, and our bodies naturally regenerate what we’ve donated. It literally can be the gift of life. We all wish you the very best. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2025, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-seriously-ill/1023019/44 "2025-09-14T02:33:25Z")
Sorry to hear this @puzzlegal. I’m sending my best vibes and wishes your way… Tripler Random strangers on the internet care for you and puzzleguy. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2025, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-seriously-ill/1023019/45 "2025-09-14T02:37:48Z")
A close friend of mine has been battling multiple myeloma for six years. He was recently declared cancer free. Keep the faith. ---
**Author:** ![PastTense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pasttense/32/14550_2.png) [@PastTense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PastTense)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2025, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-seriously-ill/1023019/46 "2025-09-14T03:40:24Z")
Best wishes to you and your husband! ---
**Author:** ![Die\_Capacitrix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/die_capacitrix/32/9_2.png) [@Die\_Capacitrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Die_Capacitrix)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2025, 8:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-seriously-ill/1023019/47 "2025-09-14T08:39:48Z")
My grandfather was diagnosed with multiple myeloma at age 80 or so. At some point he decided to stop treatment because he wanted to spend time with his wife (my grandmother). If he had continued treatment, the medical team was quite positive. That was 20 years ago and I expect that treatments have improved. One of the medicines he took required him to sign papers confirming that he was not pregnant. He thought it was funny. Take it day by day, ask for help, in real life, or here. And take care of yourself as well. 🫂 ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2025, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-seriously-ill/1023019/48 "2025-09-14T10:11:11Z")
Sorry to hear this. Best wishes PG & PG ! ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2025, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-seriously-ill/1023019/49 "2025-09-14T10:40:00Z")
I don’t have helpful advice or experience, but am sending healing vibes! This is scary stuff. ---
**Author:** ![SCAdian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scadian/32/3292_2.png) [@SCAdian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCAdian)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2025, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-seriously-ill/1023019/50 "2025-09-14T10:56:40Z")
Emotional support I can do. {{{hugs}}} ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Duality](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.duality/32/4098_2.png) [@Mr.Duality](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Duality)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2025, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-seriously-ill/1023019/51 "2025-09-14T12:06:19Z")
Nobody deserves such a thing. My sympathy is yours. Hoping for the best for both of you. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2025, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-seriously-ill/1023019/52 "2025-09-14T13:17:30Z")
I have no words, really…just 🫂 and 🤞 ! ---
**Author:** ![Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e4f/32.png) [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_is_the_new_Analog)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2025, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-seriously-ill/1023019/53 "2025-09-14T13:55:46Z")
All I can really add is my best wishes, so here they are. I agree with the comments upthread about lots of starts and stops. It’ll likely be important for both of you to be advocates for his care. Quick storyt: I remember when my Mom went for her first chemo session, there was a miscommunication in the orders and the infusion center only had orders for hydration. We insisted they let the oncologist know, and he walked over to talk to them. There was a whole lot of back and forth, and we, as a team, finally were able to figure out the logistics to get Mom started that day. (There are safety requirements for having appropriate nursing available on first treatment, because of potential reactions.) So keep on top of things, and push when it seems like mistakes are getting in the way of care. And we’re all here to listen and help sort through things, whenever you have something to share. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2025, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-seriously-ill/1023019/54 "2025-09-14T14:10:54Z")
He’s currently in a local suburban hospital. The hospitalist expects he’ll have to transfer to a big downtown hospital for treatment. She also says that the hematologist will come today, of really. I think she was surprised he didn’t show up yesterday. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Knig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@Typo\_Knig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Knig)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2025, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-seriously-ill/1023019/55 "2025-09-14T14:52:10Z")
> [@Die\_Capacitrix](#): > > One of the medicines he took required him to sign papers confirming that he was not pregnant. He thought it was funny. Thalomide, the same drug that caused horrific damage to children when taken by pregnant women. My Mom took the that medication at age 70 for her multiple myeloma. She joked that it was good she wasn’t knocked up! It’s no joke - the package her meds came in not only included a written warning, but pictures of kids born of mothers who’d taken the drug. Upsetting photos. Ironically, for non-pregnant people thalomid is one of the milder chemotherapy drugs, at least that was what my Mom was told at the time (15+ years ago). That was the only chemotherapy she needed. My high school friend needed additional chemo, and I don’t know what else. They are both still with us, late 80s and late 60s respectively. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2025, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-seriously-ill/1023019/56 "2025-09-14T15:10:50Z")
I am sorry to hear this, and wish you both the best. ---
**Author:** ![Jihi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jihi/32/17768_2.png) [@Jihi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jihi)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2025, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-seriously-ill/1023019/57 "2025-09-14T16:53:52Z")
I’m so sorry for what you and your husband are going through @puzzlegal . I only know you by your screen name, but you’re one of the most consistently and fundamentally decent and level headed posters and mods on the board. I wish nothing but the best for you and your family. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Girlfriend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.girlfriend/32/193_2.png) [@Dr.Girlfriend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Girlfriend)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2025, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-seriously-ill/1023019/58 "2025-09-14T17:03:44Z")
So sorry to hear that and wishing you all the best. My granny was diagnosed with multiple myeloma a while back at age 82. Her doctor at the time said she could probably survive 3-5 years with it. Gran was a tough old bird, she just laughed and said she probably only had 3-5 years left anyways. Her cancer went into remission but then came back, but she still lived to be 90. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2025, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-seriously-ill/1023019/59 "2025-09-14T17:17:37Z")
Update: He’s finally seen the oncologist. They have a blood test out for the protein signature of myeloma. That should be back in a day or two. He has a soft tissue lump/tumor in the spine that the doctor says could be from myeloma, but isn’t typical. They will biopsy that (probably today) but it will take a week to get results from that. Other possibilities the doctor was willing to discuss are lymphoma and prostate cancer. Prostate cancer seems unlikely (his PSA is a little elevated, but it’s been stable for a few years, and physical exams and imaging of his prostate have been pretty normal.) His kidney issues haven’t improved, so they are probably caused by the underlying disease (surprise!) and not by dehydration or NSAIDs. The doctor wants to transfer him to the downtown hospital to being his treatment (once he’s diagnosed) because “it can be done outpatient, but it takes 2 weeks to get a seat, and with these kidney problems we should begin treatment ASAP, which we can do if he’s hospitalized”. The doctor sounds careful and competent. There’s a question of whether I ought to ask to transfer my husband to a different hospital system, but it probably makes more sense to leave him here. Apparently, most of the treatment can be done outpatient, at the convenient suburban hospital, which would be a lot nicer than having to go downtown every time. And I do have a good impression of this hospital. ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2025, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-seriously-ill/1023019/60 "2025-09-14T17:58:16Z")
> [@Bullitt](#): > > I and others here are platelet donors. Your husband might need platelets for his treatments. I was a whole blood donor and then a platelets donor for years. It was really easy for me, so I did it regularly. And platelets donations can be done more often than whole blood, too. The first time I did it the whole process was fascinating to me. And I found it funny that they piled blankets on me at first, until I started getting the plasma back. It was _cold._ Not I’m too old to donate. @puzzlegal , that sounds encouraging. Hope you can continue with local visits. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-seriously-ill/1023019.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-seriously-ill/1023019.md?page=4)