# My husband's about to lose his job (long) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 28, 2009, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-about-to-lose-his-job-long/483411 "2009-01-28T18:44:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Gleena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b3f665/32.png) [@Gleena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gleena)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-about-to-lose-his-job-long/483411/41 "2009-01-30T03:51:14Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Personally, I feel having it held over your head that you are about to lose your job is far worse than actually losing your job. At least with no job, you have the hope of a better job to look forward to. Truer words were never spoken. Because I’m a good person (and never will be again) I worked for almost six months and trained someone else to do my job before losing my job, knowing the whole time it would happen. The situation was horrible. It was all about the MD and not about me (basically, I was 2IC, he wasn’t towing the company line, they were sending someone to take my position that was level with him and could make him do things.) Because I liked the company and the head office guy overseas, I did this. I never, ever would again. Awkward, bad and horrible. Angry boss. Couldnt’ do anything right, who gives a crap it’s all shit, etc. etc. etc. And of course, not knowing the exact date and not being able to committ to a new position is fun, too. Never. Again. I can see someone wanting out of a situation where all you do is get berated. I was almost ready for a long, enforced rest after that. Almost anything, including starvation and eviction, would have been better. So the job isn’t always worth it, IMO. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-about-to-lose-his-job-long/483411/42 "2009-01-30T04:32:22Z")
> [@Tamex](#): > > He has no interest in reporting the bitch’s abusive behavior to HR. He also is considering not even doing the phone interview with his old company. And he didn’t come home until I reminded him of our daughter’s parent/teacher conference tonight. I just don’t understand it, I really don’t. Whats not to understand? the guy works 12+ hours a day 6 days a week for a miserable evil bitch, goes to school on top of that and comes home to an unsuportive wife who only wants to tell him “i told you so” instead of trying to make the poor guys life a tiny bit less miserable. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-about-to-lose-his-job-long/483411/43 "2009-01-30T05:33:14Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Except that’s not always true. If you have something due tomorrow, you may have to work until 9 or even later. You may be less productive on an hourly basis, however, you can still get stuff done. Maybe around 2 am your brain turns to mush where you can’t really do anything. > > Besides the hours aren’t the problem. I had to work long-ass hours in my last job but no one had to scream at us to do it. It was understood to be part of the job and we were actually compensated for it (unusual in a consulting firm). For one day, sure. But for long term, if you work 50 hours a week doing anything interesting, you make enough mistakes that it takes 10 hours to fix. That’s true whether you are forced into it or want to do it. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-about-to-lose-his-job-long/483411/44 "2009-01-30T13:28:36Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > For one day, sure. But for long term, if you work 50 hours a week doing anything interesting, you make enough mistakes that it takes 10 hours to fix. > > That’s true whether you are forced into it or want to do it. In all fairness, we usually weren’t chained to our desks for 12 hours a straight. There is often a lot of downtime where you are waiting for people to call you back, get you some numbers, or processes to finish running. But I agree. I see time and time again in these technlogy consulting firms where they drive their technical people on death marches trying to complete some arbitrary deadline that really doesn’t matter. Or nerds will get sucked into some problem until 4am and then not show up for work the entire next day (except the rest of the team is still working and are now down a person). ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-about-to-lose-his-job-long/483411/45 "2009-01-30T16:20:03Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > Whats not to understand? the guy works 12+ hours a day 6 days a week for a miserable evil bitch, goes to school on top of that and comes home to an unsuportive wife who only wants to tell him “i told you so” instead of trying to make the poor guys life a tiny bit less miserable. “Making the poor guy’s life a tiny bit less miserable” is not a tenable solution to this problem. That’s a band-aid solution. The point is he needs to stop working 72 hours a week. Now personally, I’d say hell, just quit and be done with it. But I can totally understand **Tamex** ’s frustrations here, when a much better solution would be to simply _not work the overtime_ and let them fire him and collect unemployment. But one way or another he needs to stop letting Evil Boss walk all over him, or she’ll just grind him into the ground. And he is the only person who can do that - nobody else can do it for him. ---
**Author:** ![Jayn\_Newell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jayn\_Newell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jayn_Newell)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-about-to-lose-his-job-long/483411/46 "2009-01-30T17:30:57Z")
> [@Aspidistra](#): > > “Making the poor guy’s life a tiny bit less miserable” is not a tenable solution to this problem. That’s a band-aid solution. The point is he needs to stop working 72 hours a week Not to mention that this has to be stressful on her as well. She hardly sees her husband, when she does he’s often working and probably always stressed out. Plus she works herself and has a kid to look after. I understand why people are telling her to be supportive of him, but at some point he has to be able to return that support or she’ll burn herself out. This isn’t just affecting him, it’s affecting the entire family. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-about-to-lose-his-job-long/483411/47 "2009-01-30T17:44:37Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > But I agree. I see time and time again in these technlogy consulting firms where they drive their technical people on death marches trying to complete some arbitrary deadline that really doesn’t matter. Or nerds will get sucked into some problem until 4am and then not show up for work the entire next day (except the rest of the team is still working and are now down a person). Heh. When I started at Intel one of the first things they tell you at orientation is that sleeping at your desk is an immediate firing offense, right up there with punching someone or coming to work stoned. Someone asked if this was true even if someone had been there until the early hours of the morning - the answer was yes. Oh, and everyone was supposed to show up at 8 am. Oh, and one of their corporate goals was “great place to work.” Maybe they are better now that Andy is no longer involved. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-about-to-lose-his-job-long/483411/48 "2009-01-30T18:43:14Z")
> [@Tamex](#): > > Not finding much help on the Minnesota Unemployment site. The FAQ’s suggest that you are ineligible if you quit or are fired (I presume they mean for cause) and that you will need to appeal in that case. It would be helpful to follow up. Here in Colorado, if a person quits due to an abusive work situation, they can appeal and if they win, will receive benefits. There’s also a process where an abusive company can fire someone, and refuse to okay benefits…the review process works here too. But it has to be documented, and it may be different in MN. I’m just sayin’ there’s parts of the process designed to protect the unemployed from unreasonable working conditions, and that rarely comes out in these conversations. Usually all you hear is: You quit, you get no benefits. There are also an increasing number of labor disputes in the IT field where this kind of ‘work ethic’ is causing litigation…and the employers are losing. It seems folks don’t like being used up and cast off when it suits the employer. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-about-to-lose-his-job-long/483411/49 "2009-01-30T18:46:32Z")
here’s a cite: [http://www.newsinferno.com/archives/1847](http://www.newsinferno.com/archives/1847) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-about-to-lose-his-job-long/483411.md?page=2)