# My husband's ball scratching is driving me nuts. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 17, 2005, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571 "2005-10-17T07:07:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/1 "2005-10-17T07:07:16Z")
Of course he only does it while he’s home. But as soon as he gets home, he puts on his “comfy pants”, which have a stretch waist band and lots of room, so he can shove both arms down there. It annoys me the most when we’re having a conversation. He’ll be telling me about his day, and I’ll try to pay attention over the _Scritch Scritch Scritch._ He thinks I’m being ridiculous when I ask him to stop while I’m watching t.v. Or to wash his hands before putting the dishes up, “it’s my balls not my butt”. :rolleyes: I know most guys scratch. But I honestly don’t remember EVER seeing my dad do it, or hearing my mom complain about my dad doing it. And none of my former BFs have walked around the house with both hands shoved down there. ---
**Author:** ![Habanero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/d9b06d/32.png) [@Habanero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Habanero)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/2 "2005-10-17T07:19:03Z")
Er… Sounds like he might need to see a doctor if he’s walking around with his hands in his pants all the time Of course, I’m under the impression that most men would have their hands in their pants all the time if they could, so maybe he’s not that far off from normal. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MannyL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@MannyL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MannyL)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/3 "2005-10-17T07:49:27Z")
I was hoping this would be about pool ---
**Author:** ![FlyingRamenMonster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@FlyingRamenMonster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyingRamenMonster)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/4 "2005-10-17T07:52:07Z")
So a pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel down his pants… ---
**Author:** ![Stark\_Raven\_Mad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Stark\_Raven\_Mad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stark_Raven_Mad)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/5 "2005-10-17T08:19:02Z")
My dad does it too, but he washes his hands immediately after, as if he were disgusted with himself. He’s always been a strange man. ---
**Author:** ![Mellivora\_capensis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mellivora\_capensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mellivora_capensis)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/6 "2005-10-17T08:36:13Z")
I used to scratch my balls all the time. Very annoying. And then I changed by golf clubs from square grooves to rounded grooves. Problem solved. And… Oh… ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/7 "2005-10-17T08:38:33Z")
Erg, seriously, people, all this talk is making me crave my great, big, juicy mushrooms. I can’t wait! ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/8 "2005-10-17T08:40:23Z")
😕 That’s what I get for having two browser windows open. Excuse me, **Batsi** , dear, but I took a wrong turn. I’m in the _wrong thread_. _slinks away in humiliation_ ---
**Author:** ![Mellivora\_capensis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mellivora\_capensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mellivora_capensis)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 8:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/9 "2005-10-17T08:49:35Z")
> [@](#): > > **Anastasaeon** > Erg, seriously, people, all this talk is making me crave my great, big, juicy mushrooms. > > I can’t wait! Oh. My. God. Well thanks a lot, I’m never having mushrooms again. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hunter\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/50afbb/32.png) [@Hunter\_Hawk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hunter_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/10 "2005-10-17T08:57:12Z")
“Mushroom ensues.” ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/11 "2005-10-17T08:57:28Z")
Sure, chicks want a sensitive guy who can be open with his issues, and deal with his feelings publicly. Then when it comes out that that the main issue is his ballsack, and the feeling is ichyness it’s all whine whine whine. 🙂 P.S. by the way **Anastasaeon** > [@](#): > > Erg, seriously, people, all this talk is making me crave my great, big, juicy mushrooms. Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!! ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/12 "2005-10-17T09:00:01Z")
> [@Mellivora capensis](#): > > Oh. My. God. > > Well thanks a lot, I’m never having mushrooms again. > > 😃 I’m thinking I should lay off them, myself. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![grey\_ideas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/dfb087/32.png) [@grey\_ideas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grey_ideas)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/13 "2005-10-17T09:00:12Z")
> [@Anastasaeon](#): > > 😕 > > That’s what I get for having two browser windows open. Excuse me, **Batsi** , dear, but I took a wrong turn. I’m in the _wrong thread_. > > _slinks away in humiliation_ But if you are going to cross post accidentally you couldn’t have done it better 😃 I have a feeling you could even make it into the SDMB in-jokes with your post. grey\_ideas ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 9:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/14 "2005-10-17T09:02:24Z")
> [@grey\_ideas](#): > > I have a feeling you could even make it into the SDMB in-jokes with your post. > > grey\_ideas One already is plenty. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/15 "2005-10-17T09:07:11Z")
I’m a bloke; sometimes they itch and desperatedly need scratching, but I try to be discreet; I think that regular fondling and/or scratching in an everyday situation is easily something that could be classed as unnecessarily offensive. Sure, he needs to scratch, but he also needs to be sensitive about what offends you. Handling crockery after ball scratching, without first washing hands is just totally unacceptable; were I in your situation, I’d threaten to resolve the situation by breaking said dishes over his ignorant head. ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/16 "2005-10-17T09:08:30Z")
> [@Anastasaeon](#): > > Erg, seriously, people, all this talk is making me crave my great, big, juicy mushrooms. > > I can’t wait! Funny - I was thinking fungus infection myself. ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 9:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/17 "2005-10-17T09:13:40Z")
So as to add something to this thread other than the usual unintended hijackery, I lucked out with my husband in that he doesn’t purposely walk around scratching his balls… however, at night, when he’s sound asleep, he… he _sleep-ball-scratches_. Loudly. And he goes to town, too. Sometimes it sounds to me like he’s really hurting himself… you know how if you get really itchy and scratch your arms or legs, and leave great, red welts on them, especially if they’re dry? He really digs at them… I keep thinking one of these days I’m going to wake up next to a fresh castrato. However, upon morning inspection, they appear normal and healthy, with no welts or nicks or cuts. But _sheesh_. And it’s as horrendous to listen to as someone gritting their teeth. _shudder_ ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 9:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/18 "2005-10-17T09:16:27Z")
> [@Anastasaeon](#): > > However, upon morning inspection, they appear normal and healthy, with no welts or nicks or cuts. You inspect your husband’s balls every morning? We should all be so lucky. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 9:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/19 "2005-10-17T09:18:24Z")
Have you tried scratching them yourself? ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 9:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/20 "2005-10-17T09:26:21Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > You inspect your husband’s balls every morning? We should all be so lucky. As part of our daily routine, I usually end up face to face with the wood in the morning, so, well, yeah, I _do_ inspect them every morning, and usually a few other times during the day, too. I only regret that the man has to work for a living. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571.md?page=2)