# My husband's ball scratching is driving me nuts. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 17, 2005, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571 "2005-10-17T07:07:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Cerowyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/82dd89/32.png) [@Cerowyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cerowyn)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 9:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/21 "2005-10-17T09:46:12Z")
> [@Anastasaeon](#): > > As part of our daily routine, I usually end up face to face with the wood in the morning, so, well, yeah, I _do_ inspect them every morning, and usually a few other times during the day, too. I only regret that the man has to work for a living. Daily? Would your husband perhaps consider a trade? I have a garage full of power tools… ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 9:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/22 "2005-10-17T09:56:35Z")
> [@Batsinma Belfry](#): > > He thinks I’m being ridiculous when I ask him to stop while I’m watching t.v. Or to wash his hands before putting the dishes up, “it’s my balls not my butt”. :rolleyes: Well, according to Cecil, [he might as well be touching his butt](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a4_220.html). So wash those hands, mister! ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Jibby\_Jabbish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Mr.Jibby\_Jabbish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Jibby_Jabbish)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/23 "2005-10-17T12:32:58Z")
I’ll scratch down there, but only in the car and only when I’m by myself. I drive long distances fairly often, and it’s a minor pleasure to get a cuppa and a cruller and then head out on the highway as the sun comes up. When the time is right – you just know when it’s right – a good ol’ scratch seems perfectly natural, or even essential. With one finger on the steering wheel and the cruise maintaining an even glide, and with Phil Goiterman on the radio and the odor of the comestibles filling the vehicle, a long satisfying scratch is just what the doctor ordered. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/24 "2005-10-17T12:40:16Z")
> [@Anastasaeon](#): > > . . . I _do_ inspect them every morning . . . . I hope you don’t badger him. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/25 "2005-10-17T12:40:47Z")
You’re just jealous. 😃 Why do women rub their eyes in the morning? Because they don’t have balls to scratch. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/26 "2005-10-17T12:46:29Z")
**Anastasaeon** : Please come and edumacate the bus wife in this morning routine. When come bring mushrooms. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/27 "2005-10-17T13:16:51Z")
> [@Anastasaeon](#): > > Erg, seriously, people, all this talk is making me crave my great, big, juicy mushrooms. > > I can’t wait! It hurts to contain this much laughter while at work in the cubicle farm. BTW: could you tutor Mrs. Franchi in the very excellent sounding AM routine? 😉 I am glad I was drinking when I read your first 2 posts. ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/28 "2005-10-17T13:37:45Z")
> [@Casey1505](#): > > You’re just jealous. 😃 > > Why do women rub their eyes in the morning? Because they don’t have balls to scratch. Pff. I scratch my tits. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/29 "2005-10-17T13:56:01Z")
See if you can get him to spread whatever he’s scratching up onto some crackers. I suggest a dry chardonnay with some of that fromunda cheese. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/30 "2005-10-17T14:16:28Z")
How the fuck did Goodle Ads come up with “Elegant Jewelry” for this thread? ---
**Author:** ![LeeshaJoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e8cbc/32.png) [@LeeshaJoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LeeshaJoy)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/31 "2005-10-17T14:17:45Z")
> [@Anastasaeon](#): > > Erg, seriously, people, all this talk is making me crave my great, big, juicy mushrooms. > > I can’t wait! Okay, I gotta know–what thread were you trying to post this in? ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/32 "2005-10-17T14:18:59Z")
You ought to scratch yourself (carefully, of course!) and then start doing stuff like putting dishes away and see what he says. I wonder how he’d react. Scratching = okay. Scratching constantly without handwashing = ick. I’ve never known a man who didn’t scratch sometimes, but none have done it constantly. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Controvert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@The\_Controvert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Controvert)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/33 "2005-10-17T15:00:29Z")
> [@GingerOfTheNorth](#): > > How the fuck did Goodle Ads come up with “Elegant Jewelry” for this thread? Hah, I get “Sell your Essays Online” for my ad. Maybe the following solution could alleviate at least the scritching sound. > [@DrEvil](#): > > At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum… it’s breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it. ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/34 "2005-10-17T15:05:21Z")
I second the scratching without handwashing = ewwww. **Bats** , maybe give him a taste of his own medicine - after a real sweaty day give your girly bits a good skritching in his presence and then touch all his food or something. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/35 "2005-10-17T15:17:07Z")
> [@Amazon Floozy Goddess](#): > > **Bats** , maybe give him a taste of his own medicine - after a real sweaty day give your girly bits a good skritching in his presence and then touch all his food or something. Do it like this: Scratch yourself Go back to slicing vegetables, or whatever After a few seconds, stop, wrinkle your nose and sniff Gingerly sniff your hand Say “oh” Walk to the sink and wash your hand Go back to slicing vegetables, or whatever ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/36 "2005-10-17T15:58:17Z")
> [@GingerOfTheNorth](#): > > How the fuck did Goodle Ads come up with “Elegant Jewelry” for this thread? Why, all the discussion about “the family jewels,” obviously! ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/37 "2005-10-17T16:29:17Z")
Seriously, though, if **Belfry** ’s husband is scratching that much and that often, I think a trip to the doctor would not be out of order. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/38 "2005-10-17T16:36:25Z")
I say you should use a slightly modified version of the method the nuns used to make kids stop thumbsucking when I was a wee child at Catholic school. When he gets home, cut open a hot pepper and rub his finger tips with it. It’ll stop the nut-scratching and also teach him not to dig in his nose or ears. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/39 "2005-10-17T16:36:57Z")
Get him a can of Gold Bond Medicated Powder. Wonderful stuff for scrotal itchiness. My Google ad is for “Sissel Power Weight Balls!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/40 "2005-10-17T16:43:21Z")
He scratches because it’s…_ **MANLY!!!** _ So, tell him it’s a sissy-boy thing to do. He’ll stop. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571.md?page=3)