# My husband's ball scratching is driving me nuts. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 17, 2005, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571 "2005-10-17T07:07:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2012, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/81 "2012-03-26T19:26:50Z")
> [@Anastasaeon](#): > > So as to add something to this thread other than the usual unintended hijackery, I lucked out with my husband in that he doesn’t purposely walk around scratching his balls… however, at night, when he’s sound asleep, he… he _sleep-ball-scratches_. Loudly. And he goes to town, too. Sometimes it sounds to me like he’s really hurting himself… you know how if you get really itchy and scratch your arms or legs, and leave great, red welts on them, especially if they’re dry? He really digs at them… I keep thinking one of these days I’m going to wake up next to a fresh castrato… Babies will do the same - well, maybe not due to _itching_, but “hey, here’s this thing, and when I mess with it, I can feel that, and it’s new and kinda nifty”. And it looks like they’re about to completely castrate themselves. I actually asked the pediatrician once “is he going to realize it hurts, in time to stop himself from actually INJURING himself?”. The ped’s answer was “not necessarily”. So I had to discourage the behavior somewhat. Oh, and Anastaseon? Priceless!!😛 (what thread was that SUPPOSED to go in??). ---
**Author:** ![Hockey\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Hockey\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hockey_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/82 "2012-03-27T04:11:55Z")
I joined in 2006 and thus missed this thread’s first run. Pure. Awesome. ---
**Author:** ![MannyL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@MannyL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MannyL)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2012, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/83 "2012-03-29T02:32:39Z")
> [@Mama\_Zappa](#): > > Babies will do the same - well, maybe not due to _itching_, but “hey, here’s this thing, and when I mess with it, I can feel that, and it’s new and kinda nifty”. And it looks like they’re about to completely castrate themselves. I actually asked the pediatrician once “is he going to realize it hurts, in time to stop himself from actually INJURING himself?”. The ped’s answer was “not necessarily”. So I had to discourage the behavior somewhat. > > Oh, and Anastaseon? Priceless!!😛 (what thread was that SUPPOSED to go in??). Mama Zappa a few years go she said > [@Anastasaeon](#): > > **Cafe Society** thread, the one about “If money wasn’t an issue, what would you have for dinner?” > The last post in that thread when I went to make mine was someone talking about a mushroom pizza. I had mentioned upthread that money wasn’t so much an issue as my gallbladder is, but I can’t get it out until February. My big, juicy mushrooms are slathered all over a thick steak, you see. > > I would link to it, but right now opening a second browser is going all wonky on me, and I don’t feel like doing it the slow way. I didn’t post my big juicy mushroom post over in that thread last night because frankly, I just felt jinxed. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2012, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/84 "2012-03-29T03:44:37Z")
As a man I have to say: you’re husband is friggin gross. ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2012, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/85 "2012-03-29T04:40:22Z")
Okie Dokie ---
**Author:** ![April.C](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/46a35a/32.png) [@April.C](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April.C)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/86 "2012-03-30T16:01:45Z")
I was looking for other women who scratch for their husband. That’s how I came across this message board. I told my husband “I bet I’m the only wife who scratches their husbands balls”. I have yet to find anyone else like me. (I didn’t realize it was from 2005.) ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/87 "2012-03-30T16:50:59Z")
> [@April.C](#): > > I was looking for other women who scratch for their husband. That’s how I came across this message board. I told my husband “I bet I’m the only wife who scratches their husbands balls”. Far from it, honey. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![LoonyMoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/34f0e0/32.png) [@LoonyMoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LoonyMoon)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2012, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/88 "2012-03-31T12:15:36Z")
Basically any scratching south of the border needs to be followed up by hand-washing (WITH hot water and WITH soap); do we really need reminding about this? Any time butt fleege and/or ball sweat is introduced to clean dishes is not a good thing. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2012, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/89 "2012-03-31T12:23:47Z")
> [@Casey1505](#): > > You’re just jealous. 😃 > > Why do women rub their eyes in the morning? Because they don’t have balls to scratch. To be quite clear, they don’t have their own balls to scratch. They could, of course scratch the cods of the person beside them. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2012, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/90 "2012-03-31T16:54:04Z")
Ah, I could have used some mushrooms in my stir-fry tonight. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/91 "2012-07-26T22:56:02Z")
Bump: Balls and Mushrooms Update > [@grey\_ideas](#): > > But if you are going to cross post accidentally you couldn’t have done it better 😃 > > **I have a feeling you could even make it into the SDMB in-jokes with your post.** > > grey\_ideas (Bold added.) Mission accomplished: > [@Zombie threads, can anything be done?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-threads-can-anything-be-done/628005/61): > > Without zombie threads I would have NEVER known one member would get a sudden and uncontrollable urge for FAT and JUICY MUSHROOMS in the middle of a thread about some girl’s guy liking his balls scratched. By her. > > **Zombies gotta stay.** There’s gold buried in them thar graveyards. (Bold added.) This zombie included. ---
**Author:** ![Curiosity\_Kills\_Her](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@Curiosity\_Kills\_Her](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Curiosity_Kills_Her)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/92 "2012-07-27T00:54:28Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > Bump: Balls and Mushrooms Update > (Bold added.) Mission accomplished: > (Bold added.) This zombie included. Heh. I obviously conflated story this with another. I’m not sure if you guys talk about balls too frequently or if it just says something about my choice in reading. I must have read it when it was revived in March and I think I was in full-on giggles for 20 minutes or more. One of my favorite threads. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/93 "2012-07-27T00:57:07Z")
You can talk about balls too much? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Curiosity\_Kills\_Her](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@Curiosity\_Kills\_Her](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Curiosity_Kills_Her)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/94 "2012-07-27T01:03:36Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > You can talk about balls too much? > 🙂 I think that may depend on _whose_ balls you are talking about. Tatum Channing? **YES! Keep talking.** Rush Limbaugh? Please, not so much. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/95 "2012-07-27T01:07:52Z")
Ah, good point. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/96 "2012-07-27T07:08:12Z")
> [@Cicero](#): > > To be quite clear, they don’t have their own balls to scratch. They could, of course scratch the cods of the person beside them. Huh. That’s assuming we all have someone next to us when we wake up, \*\*Cicero \*\*😛 (best. zombie thread. ever. But I still don’t want mushrooms) 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/97 "2012-07-27T07:12:21Z")
> [@Curiosity\_Kills\_Her](#): > > Heh. I obviously conflated story this with another. I’m not sure if you guys talk about balls too frequently or if it just says something about my choice in reading. > > I must have read it when it was revived in March and I think I was in full-on giggles for 20 minutes or more. One of my favorite threads. Huh? 😕 😕 Are you saying that your remark in that zombie-complaint thread in ATMB (quoted 6 posts above) was referring to a different thread than this one? ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/98 "2012-07-27T07:44:36Z")
> [@Cinnamon\_Imp](#): > > Huh. That’s assuming we all have someone next to us when we wake up, \*\*Cicero \*\*😛 > > (best. zombie thread. ever. But I still don’t want mushrooms) 😉 It’s your own fault if you don’t 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/99 "2012-07-27T07:46:18Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > Huh? 😕 😕 > Are you saying that your remark in that zombie-complaint thread in ATMB (quoted 6 posts above) was referring to a different thread than this one? There is a somewhat similar thread [here.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=658520&highlight=boner) ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571/100 "2012-07-27T08:11:10Z")
> [@Cicero](#): > > There is a somewhat similar thread [here.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=658520&highlight=boner) There’s nothing about mushrooms over there, though. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-ball-scratching-is-driving-me-nuts/326571.md?page=6)