# My husband's evil boss UPDATE **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 21, 2009, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-evil-boss-update/486875 "2009-02-21T18:37:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2009, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-evil-boss-update/486875/21 "2009-02-22T01:04:55Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > I’m sorry. When I read this, I has an image of Evil Boss being taken to the steakhouse and ‘accidentally’ being cut up for sushi… > > Ick. What a thing to impose on poor innocent sushi-buyers. I assure you, all I meant was that the HR Lady should be rewarded for her actions. And since the OP went to a Japanese steak house, taking her to dinner there seemed an appropriate reward. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2009, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-evil-boss-update/486875/22 "2009-02-22T01:19:24Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > I assure you, all I meant was that the HR Lady should be rewarded for her actions. And since the OP went to a Japanese steak house, taking her to dinner there seemed an appropriate reward. Yes. After rereading the posting, I realized that’s what you meant. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2009, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-evil-boss-update/486875/23 "2009-02-22T02:15:05Z")
I’m sure that the HR lady would like as little attention as possible paid to her “failure” to file the papers in a timely manner! But congratulations! Hope the new boss…is your husband! ---
**Author:** ![Oslo\_Ostragoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a9a28c/32.png) [@Oslo\_Ostragoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oslo_Ostragoth)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2009, 9:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-evil-boss-update/486875/24 "2009-02-22T09:23:03Z")
The breeze you feel in your hair is my “PFEWWWW!” An anonymous gift card to a restaurant or bookstore may be in order. I’m not so sure about anything that can be traced. ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2009, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-evil-boss-update/486875/25 "2009-02-22T09:28:06Z")
Yippe kiyay. As they say 🙂 I’m very happy for you guys. Treat yourselves to a nice dinner of a long luxurious lie-in on Saturday, whichever feels better. Or Both! ---
**Author:** ![criminey.jicket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@criminey.jicket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/criminey.jicket)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2009, 9:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-evil-boss-update/486875/26 "2009-02-22T09:45:28Z")
::burp:: Mmmm, just desserts. My favorite! ---
**Author:** ![Aquila\_Be](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a698b9/32.png) [@Aquila\_Be](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aquila_Be)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2009, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-evil-boss-update/486875/27 "2009-02-22T10:35:42Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > I assure you, all I meant was that the HR Lady should be rewarded for her actions. And since the OP went to a Japanese steak house, taking her to dinner there seemed an appropriate reward. I really think that’s the worst possible thing to do to HR lady. The best approach to minimise pressure on her is for everyone to play it casual and low key so that things return to normal as quickly as possible. I’ve been involved in workplace dramas like this whilst in a management role and, believe me, it can be incredibly stressful. The last thing you want to occur as one of the “management group” is something inappropriate like lower echelon staff members organising a celebratory dinner over such an event. You need to try to remain at arms length from it all. You want to try to put it behind you as quickly as possible and focus on trying to make the workplace come good again. You hope and pray that everyone else will help you and each other in this. ---
**Author:** ![MHaye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/bbe5ce/32.png) [@MHaye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MHaye)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2009, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-evil-boss-update/486875/28 "2009-02-22T11:29:30Z")
There’s a phrase that comes to mind from my working life. You need to avoid “giving the appearance of impropriety.” Any gift, at all, given to the HR lady could cause problems down the line. It creates a _prima facie_ case that there was some collusion or benefit to the HR lady for steering the investigation towards an unfavourable result form the bosswoman. That might be enough to get an investigation launched into hubby’s fitness for management. An investigation might reveal, among other things, that Hubby was demoted and HR lady never put it through. That really makes it look, from outside, as if HR lady was in Hubby’s pocket. At best, there would be a long period of extra stress before Hubby was cleared. At worst? Bosswoman is reinstated and Hubby has to work for her. Again. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2009, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-evil-boss-update/486875/29 "2009-02-22T11:45:53Z")
You absolutely don’t give a gift to somebody that fired someone you had trouble with and she fired. Do you wish to be in a lawsuit? ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2009, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-evil-boss-update/486875/30 "2009-02-22T12:27:45Z")
One Evil Boss down, 999,999,999,999 to go! Personally, I’d like to see that type of boss go out of style. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2009, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-evil-boss-update/486875/31 "2009-02-22T12:31:09Z")
Right. Your guide in this, as in all things, should be the _Godfather_. > [@](#): > > Someday, and that day may never come, I’ll call upon you to do a service for me. In other words, your husband owes the HR lady a favor. She may call it in some day, and she may not. But he can’t buy off the debt with a gift - and he shouldn’t try ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2009, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-evil-boss-update/486875/32 "2009-02-22T12:53:12Z")
> [@Scuba\_Ben](#): > > Schadenfreude - you’re doing it quite well, actually. > > Congratulations to your husband for still having his job, and with a better boss too! > [@](#): > > Karmic bitch slaps are the best! Doper Definition of **Schadenfreude: a karmic bitch slap.** ---
**Author:** ![ASAKMOTSD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/919ad9/32.png) [@ASAKMOTSD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASAKMOTSD)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2009, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-evil-boss-update/486875/33 "2009-02-22T20:26:46Z")
I wish to subscribe to this newsletter. I especially look forward to the “how-to” section. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2009, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-evil-boss-update/486875/34 "2009-02-22T21:15:51Z")
> [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#): > > Buy roses for the HR lady! I think your husband should get some [roses](http://www.thepayback.com/getrevenge.html) for the ex evil boss. Just to let her know how much she’ll be missed. ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2009, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-evil-boss-update/486875/35 "2009-02-22T22:05:14Z")
I’ve had three asshole bosses in my career. Two were fired and (unfortunately) I had nothing to do with the demise of either of them. I would have loved to have been the catalyst that nipped their career in the buds. The third was promoted. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Tamex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Tamex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamex)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2009, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-evil-boss-update/486875/36 "2009-02-22T22:28:08Z")
Yeah, not sure if there is a way to give her a gift that would not look inappropriate, unfortunately. Sounds like many people at my husband’s company are grateful to her, though. **An Arky** , I absolutely hope that kind of boss goes out of style. She is not a good example for her management employees, including my husband. I think he was starting to think that this was how a manager is supposed to act. Now he has been reassured that it indeed is not. ---
**Author:** ![Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bites_when_provoked/32/18073_2.png) [@Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bites_When_Provoked)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2009, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-evil-boss-update/486875/37 "2009-02-22T22:55:39Z")
The good thing about having a manager like that is that, if nothing else, you learn what NOT to do. Sure, your hubby will doubtless make his own Management-level mistakes - but with any luck, being a creative sadist won’t be one of them! ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-evil-boss-update/486875/38 "2009-02-23T00:07:02Z")
some bosses are good examples, some bosses are horrible lessons. both have life lessons to teach. ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-evil-boss-update/486875/39 "2009-02-23T16:20:48Z")
> [@Bites\_When\_Provoked](#): > > The good thing about having a manager like that is that, if nothing else, you learn what NOT to do. Sure, your hubby will doubtless make his own Management-level mistakes - but with any luck, being a creative sadist won’t be one of them! That’s true. I’ve taken many lessons to heart from previous bosses on how NOT to manage a team. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husbands-evil-boss-update/486875.md?page=1)