# My idiot brother in law and his almost killing his son. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 20, 2012, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-brother-in-law-and-his-almost-killing-his-son/616278 "2012-03-20T03:07:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Ludy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Ludy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludy)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2012, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-brother-in-law-and-his-almost-killing-his-son/616278/41 "2012-03-20T17:40:33Z")
This reminds me of something that happened to a family friend on mine, oh probably about 20 years ago, or so. She owned her house and rented out her basement suite to a young family. One day she noticed the parents leave and didn’t think anything of it, until a little while later she heard the baby start to cry, and cry, and cry. I became obvious to her that the baby was alone. She was about to head downstairs but first called the authorities. The police told her NOT to go downstairs. If the baby was crying it was breathing, and if she went downstairs the parents could claim that there was someone looking after the kid. I was a kid when this happened so I don’t remember what happened after that, but I do remember that the kid was OK and I think the family moved. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2012, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-brother-in-law-and-his-almost-killing-his-son/616278/42 "2012-03-20T22:30:09Z")
> [@Iggins](#): > > Ah, yes, some Puerto Rican guy. Shifty, he is. Not necessarily. You can use a German and that’ll work. ---
**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-brother-in-law-and-his-almost-killing-his-son/616278/43 "2012-03-21T02:07:11Z")
After reading that article, Lyn Balfour sounds like a psychopath. I think someone should give her a neurological test for psychopathy (IANAN). ---
**Author:** ![keturah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e95f7d/32.png) [@keturah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/keturah)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-brother-in-law-and-his-almost-killing-his-son/616278/44 "2012-03-21T03:33:34Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > Where do you think babies are normally left at night? Do you think parents stay up in shifts to watch them 24/7? If you can’t understand the difference between a child sleeping in a crib with parental presence and leaving a child in a crib while the parents are entirely absent, well, I just dont think I can explain it. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-brother-in-law-and-his-almost-killing-his-son/616278/45 "2012-03-21T03:58:27Z")
You don’t need to explain it, I understand the difference. In one case the parent is present and in the other no parent is present. If you think leaving a baby in a crib is neglect, most parents I’ve ever heard of are neglectful. And if you do think that, I am curious as to what you think the parents should do? Never sleep? ---
**Author:** ![keturah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e95f7d/32.png) [@keturah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/keturah)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-brother-in-law-and-his-almost-killing-his-son/616278/46 "2012-03-21T04:11:16Z")
> [@keturah](#): > > No backstory, i just can’t see leaving a six month old on a bed and the Op said he was looking on couches because he expected to see the baby there.. With no supervision. Sounds like neglect at best. Actually, neglect would be if the baby was left in a crib, this is far worse. Sounds like there are a couple of parents who need to be relieved of their kid. > [@Princhester](#): > > You don’t need to explain it, I understand the difference. In one case the parent is present and in the other no parent is present. > > If you think leaving a baby in a crib is neglect, most parents I’ve ever heard of are neglectful. And if you do think that, I am curious as to what you think the parents should do? Never sleep? Again, this. I think that a parent leaving a baby in a crib in a locked home with no supervision is neglect. I think a parent, or hopefully 2 parents sleeping in the home with the baby in a crib is life. None of this is rlevant to the situation in the op. ---
**Author:** ![expectopatronum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/expectopatronum/32/173_2.png) [@expectopatronum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/expectopatronum)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-brother-in-law-and-his-almost-killing-his-son/616278/47 "2012-03-21T04:30:01Z")
> [@Hal\_Briston](#): > > Good thing you were around… > > “You are likely to be saved by a **grude**.” was that a zork reference? ---
**Author:** ![Meyer6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@Meyer6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meyer6)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-brother-in-law-and-his-almost-killing-his-son/616278/48 "2012-03-21T05:09:37Z")
> [@Dr.Drake](#): > > I’m not advocating leaving babies alone in locked houses, of course. I’m just saying that that particular error in judgement wasn’t the issue here. I agree that the leaving the kid sleeping on a loose sheet was ultimately the most dangerous part of the equation, but the whole thing is just a series of neglectful actions. Deliberately leaving your infant alone in a locked apartment doesn’t speak of a very good, attentive parent to me. As I said before, I’m not a parent, so it’s possible I’m missing something about this - but I feel like there’s a difference between leaving a baby home all alone and leaving a baby in the other room while you sleep. ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-brother-in-law-and-his-almost-killing-his-son/616278/49 "2012-03-21T15:01:56Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > Who the fuck knows? The OP raises more questions than it answers. > Is BIL living with them? Why? Where is the child’s mother? Why is the room locked? Does the baby have a crib? Why not? Where does the baby normally sleep? Who was supposed to watch the baby the rest of the day when BIL goes off to work? My BIL lives on the lower level of a split level house with no internal connections, the locked room was his front door. The baby HAD a crib which the mother took with her when her and my BIL broke up, apparently she is now dumping the baby on him with little notice and none of the equipment. I thought he had the baby sleeping in the stroller, but I guess he has him sleeping on the bed with him. ---
**Author:** ![shantih](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f6c823/32.png) [@shantih](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shantih)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-brother-in-law-and-his-almost-killing-his-son/616278/50 "2012-03-21T15:42:42Z")
Jesus Holy Christ. Your BIL needs to get a baby bed of some sort, stat. There is a night coverings for babies (called a Schlafsack in German) that has openings for arms and head and keeps them covered and warm without the danger of entangling. Babies don’t do things like rolling over and crawling until they suddenly do. You can’t predict what they are capable of based on what they were capable of yesterday. Godamercy, what a narrow escape. I cringe to think of how babyproofed your BIL’s part of the house is. ---
**Author:** ![Folacin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folacin/32/3195_2.png) [@Folacin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folacin)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-brother-in-law-and-his-almost-killing-his-son/616278/51 "2012-03-21T16:23:05Z")
Now that we’ve determined that the baby was in the same house (with no locks in the way) as **grude** , it seems fairly safe to say that BIL was following one of the major rules of raising a kid (after the “don’t kill the baby” rule iteration) - never wake a sleeping baby (rule can be broken in the late afternoon/early evening if you need to to get the child to sleep at its normal bedtime). BIL needs a better sleeping arrangement for the kid (like a crib), but apparently this is the first time the kid did a major move on his own (since BIL said it wasn’t crawling yet). Once you’re working with a second kid, you know how suddenly they develop abilities. For a first time parent, it’s often a surprise. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-brother-in-law-and-his-almost-killing-his-son/616278/52 "2012-03-21T16:39:47Z")
> [@grude](#): > > My BIL lives on the lower level of a split level house with no internal connections, the locked room was his front door. > [@Folacin](#): > > Now that we’ve determined that the baby was in the same house (with no locks in the way) But there were locks in the way as **grude** has said twice now (the first being in the OP). ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-brother-in-law-and-his-almost-killing-his-son/616278/53 "2012-03-21T16:41:48Z")
> [@Folacin](#): > > Now that we’ve determined that the baby was in the same house (with no locks in the way) as **grude** What? We’ve determined exactly the opposite: > [@grude](#): > > My BIL lives on the lower level of a split level house with no internal connections, the locked room was his front door. It’s an attached house, but separate, with no internal connections and a locked front door. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-brother-in-law-and-his-almost-killing-his-son/616278/54 "2012-03-21T18:41:43Z")
> [@gamerunknown](#): > > After reading that article, Lyn Balfour sounds like a psychopath. I think someone should give her a neurological test for psychopathy (IANAN). That’s ridiculous. She sounds like a completely normal, strong, capable, intelligent person. Maybe you’re holding to the standards of the [Final Girl](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Final_girl) who, regardless of her competence, must be reduced to uncontrollable tears in order to be sympathetic. ---
**Author:** ![tumbleddown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@tumbleddown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tumbleddown)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-brother-in-law-and-his-almost-killing-his-son/616278/55 "2012-03-21T18:47:20Z")
I’m loathe reflexively go to this place but this story needs to be told to local social services not the SDMB. [ul] [li] You don’t ever leave a baby alone in a house. Ever. BIL did.[/li][li]You don’t ever leave a baby alone in the middle of a bed or another raised surface, even to go into another room. Ever. BIL did.[/li][li]You don’t sleep with a baby in an adult bed without major modifications (like no loose sheets, no pillows, no comforters) and ideally never without a breastfeeding mother in that same bed (lack thereof is the common link in “baby in the bed” deaths). Ever. BIL did.[/li][li]You don’t leave a baby with someone who doesn’t have proper, safe equipment and supplies for that baby’s care (or immediately ability to get them). Ever. SIL did.[/li][li]You don’t put a baby down to sleep in a stroller. Ever. That’s not what they’re for. BIL was planning to.[/li][/ul] Neither of these nimrods has the faintest clue how to be a parent, and it nearly cost this innocent child his life. This is a child in need of protection and that’s what child protective services are for. Call them. **Today**. ---
**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-brother-in-law-and-his-almost-killing-his-son/616278/56 "2012-03-21T20:45:07Z")
> [@](#): > > She sounds like a completely normal, strong, capable, intelligent person Oh, it seemed like some of her responses were devoid of empathy and the others were constructed to manipulate others. It could have just been the reporting and I must admit I didn’t read the final paragraph in the article before posting that. I’d still be interested in the outcome of a test. Likewise with Amanda Knox and Christian Bale. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2012, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-brother-in-law-and-his-almost-killing-his-son/616278/57 "2012-03-22T08:02:04Z")
> [@shantih](#): > > Jesus Holy Christ. Your BIL needs to get a baby bed of some sort, stat. There is a night coverings for babies (called a Schlafsack in German) that has openings for arms and head and keeps them covered and warm without the danger of entangling. [Gro-bags](http://www.gro.co.uk/Grobag-Baby-Sleep-Bags.html), or baby sleeping bags in English if anyone’s interested. I’d swear by 'em too. Glad the baby’s okay but… ☹ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-brother-in-law-and-his-almost-killing-his-son/616278.md?page=2)