# My Idiot Moment Of The Week **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 21, 2008, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-moment-of-the-week/478215 "2008-12-21T20:02:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Marine\_One](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/marine_one/32/3461_2.png) [@Marine\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marine_One)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-moment-of-the-week/478215/21 "2008-12-22T18:44:35Z")
Clothes Department: - Put clothes in washer. Start washer. - Washer finishes. Put in dryer. - Clothes finish drying. - Put clothes _back_ in washer. - Start washer.:smack: Food Department Part 1: - Open soup can. - Turn on stove heat. - Pour soup directly on the stove.:smack: Food Department Part 2: - Cook chili or spaghetti or whatever it was. - Remove from oven. - Go straight to garbage disposal and dump everything in it. - Grind it to shreds. - Ask myself why I just killed dinner.:smack: ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-moment-of-the-week/478215/22 "2008-12-22T18:51:08Z")
This kind of Idiocy is a sign of an active Mind. (Active on something else mind you). More examples of things I’ve done… Put the TV remote in the fridge. Walk into a lit room and turn the light off. Walk out of a room with people still in it and turn the light off. Hold my electonic proximity key (work) up to the hole of my ordinary yale-lock front door at home. Try to use the door beeper of my car to open my house front door. Answer the phone at home “Hello, [where I work]. Lobsang Speaking” ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-moment-of-the-week/478215/23 "2008-12-22T18:58:32Z")
The other day I held my hands under the faucet and waited for the water to turn on. It was a manual faucet. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-moment-of-the-week/478215/24 "2008-12-22T19:03:55Z")
> [@Marine\_One](#): > > Food Department Part 1: > > - Open soup can. > - Turn on stove heat. > - Pour soup directly on the stove.:smack: Well at least you remembered to pour it some where. On occassion I have. 1. Open soup can 2. Get bowl 3 Put bowl in Microwave. 3. Throw soup can in garbage. 4. Grab extremly hot bowl out of microwave. 5. Look in disappointment at completely clean and empty soup bowl ☹ I also have when in a bar offered my phone to someone needing to make a call., reached into my pocket and with much suaveness handed them my TV remote which I had grabbed instead(well the both have pushy number buttons) but is so natural feeling in my my hand I didn’t notice. You get the oddest look for that one. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-moment-of-the-week/478215/25 "2008-12-22T19:06:03Z")
That reminds me. I have in all seriousness picked up a TV remote and started dialing a phone number. ---
**Author:** ![FallenAngel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@FallenAngel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FallenAngel)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-moment-of-the-week/478215/26 "2008-12-22T19:12:35Z")
Once upon a time the hair gel I used was green in color. So was the shaving gel I used. One morning, fresh out of the shower and severely under-caff’d, I put a blob of green stuff in my hand and spread it over my face. Wrong green stuff. Back in the shower I go to wash hair gel off my face. I then got out of the shower, dried off again, put green glop in my hand and spread it through my hair. Back into shower to wash shaving gel out of my hair. Everything went right on the third try, but I was 15 minutes late for work. ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-moment-of-the-week/478215/27 "2008-12-22T19:22:14Z")
God, these are great. They make my “why did I walk into this room” moments seem…so comfortingly _normal_! ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-moment-of-the-week/478215/28 "2008-12-22T19:25:51Z")
> [@Mama\_Tiger](#): > > My favorite way to make not-coffee involves forgetting to empty out the cold coffee that got left in the coffeepot, then making a full pot, so you end up with a counter covered with rapidly spreading coffee. That’s always a great way to wake up. Hubby, that you? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-moment-of-the-week/478215/29 "2008-12-22T19:26:59Z")
I’ve spent eight hours simmering chicken stock, making my apartment smell wonderful the whole time. I then took then next step, which was to strain out the solids. You can see where this is going, right? ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-moment-of-the-week/478215/30 "2008-12-22T19:28:52Z")
You poured the liquid away? ---
**Author:** ![maladroit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@maladroit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maladroit)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-moment-of-the-week/478215/31 "2008-12-22T19:30:50Z")
Last Thursday my boss sent me to the FedEx store. I drove on auto-pilot to Ups, but I missed the turn, so I had to turn around in a driveway - that turned out to be the Fedex driveway, I learned when I drove to the correct place. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-moment-of-the-week/478215/32 "2008-12-22T19:35:14Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > You poured the liquid away? You’ll be glad to know that I saved the chicken bones, though. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-moment-of-the-week/478215/33 "2008-12-22T20:01:21Z")
> [@TroubleAgain](#): > > God, these are great. They make my “why did I walk into this room” moments seem…so comfortingly _normal_! I think we’ve all had destinesia\* at one time or another, so it’s perfectly normal in that we’re all dumbasses in this regard sometimes. In fact, I have a feeling given that we’ve been insanely, stupidly, absurdly busy at work today that if anyone calls me this evening I’m going to be very pone to answering it with my formal work spiel. [sub]\* Thank Rich Hall for this word.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-moment-of-the-week/478215/34 "2008-12-22T20:05:28Z")
pone? Like it. ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-moment-of-the-week/478215/35 "2008-12-22T20:08:40Z")
> [@Rysto](#): > > I once walked 15 minutes to the local grocery store, got to the checkout counter, discovered that my bank card wasn’t in my wallet, apologized profusely to the cashier, walked 15 minutes back to my dorm and tore it apart looking for the bank card. I finally found it. > > In my wallet. :smack: Someone else’s moment, but it’s related: I worked as a cashier in college, at a cafe, and a women came to me claiming she threw her credit card away by accident, having left it on her food tray. I, good employee that I was, slapped on some rubber gloves and tore through the trash for a good 15 minutes. Until she checked her wallet. At least she had the grace to thank me and seem like she felt bad. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-moment-of-the-week/478215/36 "2008-12-22T20:10:38Z")
Sunday morning after the big snow I am casually walking down the sidewalk when a big chunk of ice flies up from the street and crashes on my left foot. I mutter an expletive and walk home. I take off my shoes and drink my coffee, sitting at my kitchen table in my stocking feet. As I get up, I hit my left foot on the chair rung and feel a tingle. Let me say that I have almost no working pain nerves in my feet. When I feel a tingle in my foot, it is the equivalent of your average person going AAAAUUUUGGGGHHH while hopping up and down on their good foot. I go WTF? and take off my sock. There on top of my foot is a lump that is remarkably the size and color of a plum. I immediately think “oh, a sugar plum.” I spend the rest of the day with snow on the top of my foot. I am now wearing oversized socks and an untied sneaker on the foot. I did have fun letting a coworker touch it. He could not believe my total lack of reaction. ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-moment-of-the-week/478215/37 "2008-12-22T20:11:22Z")
And one of my own: I routinely throw clothes into the trash instead of the hamper. Which are in two different corners of two different rooms, and in no way resemble each other. It just occured to me that a bra I have been missing for awhile now probably suffered this fate. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-moment-of-the-week/478215/38 "2008-12-22T20:19:09Z")
Woke up more bleary-eyed than usual and went to feed the very spoiled & pampered dog. **Normal Procedure** a) dump and refill the water bowl b) scoop 1/4 cup’s worth of home-cooked puppyfood (I did mention spoiled & pampered, yes? actually it started with [melamine](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_protein_export_contamination) and we just kept doing it) c) microwave to take the chill off it. c) insert puppy thyroid pill and 1/4 tsp flaxseed oil into food, and serve **Idiot MOTW Version** a) dump and refill the water bowl b) scoop 1/4 cup’s worth of home-cooked puppyfood and dump it into the water bowl c) curse, dump out entire contents and rinse bowl d) scoop another 1/4 cup’s worth of home-cooked puppyfood into now-empty metal water bowl e) insert metal water bowl containing puppyfood into microwave oven f) stand there stupidly staring at metal bowl in microwave oven for a count of 20 g) transfer contents to glass dogfood dish and heat in microwave and serve h) respond to annoyed & displeased spoiled/pampered dog by getting back up and putting water in metal bowl for her. apologize to dog. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-moment-of-the-week/478215/39 "2008-12-22T20:33:12Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > b) scoop 1/4 cup’s worth of home-cooked puppyfood and dump it into the water bowl Heh. When my GF’s cat’s bowl gets empty, he gets a bit enthusiastic about getting it filled. He’ll try to eat out of the jar, out of the scoop, or out of thin air if he can. He’ll usually bump your arm while rubbing up against you, thus spilling the contents of the scoop. Once the food is poured, he’ll dive in voraciously, as if he hasn’t been fed in YEARS. One bleary-eyed morning, GF accidentally dumped the food in his water dish. I’m told that he just looked her in the face as if to say “I can’t believe you just did that.” ---
**Author:** ![Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brown_eyed_girl/32/3574_2.png) [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brown_Eyed_Girl)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2008, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-moment-of-the-week/478215/40 "2008-12-22T20:38:24Z")
> [@pbbth](#): > > The other day I held my hands under the faucet and waited for the water to turn on. It was a manual faucet. :smack: No way. You didn’t just wait, did you? You actually moved your hands around a bit under the faucet in a futile effort to trigger the sensor. What do I win? 😃 I have worn two different socks to work and my shirt inside out. AND NOBODY SAID ANYTHING either time! :o [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-moment-of-the-week/478215.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-idiot-moment-of-the-week/478215.md?page=3)