# My Indian Parents' Racial Shame **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 17, 2013, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074 "2013-09-17T18:29:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![IndianStones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ebca7d/32.png) [@IndianStones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IndianStones)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/1 "2013-09-17T18:29:26Z")
I hope this belongs here. I’ve realized that my parents, especially my dad have been competing against me in a “who’s more American” type thing. And they’ve set up situations to “win” against me. They’re such pieces of shit. How should I call them out on it? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/2 "2013-09-17T18:31:24Z")
Reported for forum change. Welcome to the Dope, **IndianStones**. A Mod will be along shortly to send this thread off to IMHO (probably). ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/3 "2013-09-17T18:36:12Z")
Moved to IMHO. Colibri General Questions Moderator ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/4 "2013-09-17T18:37:07Z")
> [@IndianStones](#): > > I hope this belongs here. > > I’ve realized that my parents, especially my dad have been competing against me in a “who’s more American” type thing. And they’ve set up situations to “win” against me. They’re such pieces of shit. > > How should I call them out on it? In what ways are they doing this? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/5 "2013-09-17T18:45:24Z")
Whut?! ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/6 "2013-09-17T18:46:26Z")
Impossible to give advice without futher details. Please expand. ---
**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/7 "2013-09-17T18:52:46Z")
Grow a mullet, drive a pickup and say “y’all” alot. Then ask them if they can keep up. Just don’t try to compete with them in the chewing tobacco arena. ---
**Author:** ![voltaire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voltaire/32/313_2.png) [@voltaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voltaire)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/8 "2013-09-17T18:58:42Z")
My bet is that your parents see how important it is to you to be “American” and how you cast shame on them for not being “American” enough. As a result, they’re trying to make you happy by being as “American” as they can, and the thanks they get for their efforts to appease you is being called pieces of shit. P.S. Have you managed to marry an “American” girl yet? ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/9 "2013-09-17T19:01:54Z")
More details would be nice. In the meantime, though, take a look at [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZkyYkKKnns) and [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FstMoM-spJU); segments from a British sketch comedy show called “Goodness Gracious Me.” ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/10 "2013-09-17T19:02:24Z")
My favorite squadron is a the Nye Mets! ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/11 "2013-09-17T19:10:06Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > More details would be nice. In the meantime, though, take a look at [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZkyYkKKnns) and [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FstMoM-spJU); segments from a British sketch comedy show called “Goodness Gracious Me.” I love that show! I keep wishing it will be on Netflix. Until then I watch snippets on youtube. So much of it is so true. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/12 "2013-09-17T19:14:45Z")
Did you just get crowned Miss America? If so, you won. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/13 "2013-09-17T19:16:40Z")
Were you born in this country? Run for president. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/14 "2013-09-17T19:19:16Z")
> [@IndianStones](#): > > I hope this belongs here. > > I’ve realized that my parents, especially my dad have been competing against me in a “who’s more American” type thing. And they’ve set up situations to “win” against me. They’re such pieces of shit. > > How should I call them out on it? Just use the phone. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/15 "2013-09-17T19:25:40Z")
Another idea; the standard way to rebel is to do the opposite of your parents. So if your family emigrated from India and they seem excessively American, embrace your Indian heritage. Learn Hindi, Tamil or whatever, go pure vegetarian, observe the Hindu/Sikh/whatever holidays. It will drive them _crazy_. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/16 "2013-09-17T19:30:01Z")
Throw them for a loop-turn Scottish. ---
**Author:** ![IndianStones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ebca7d/32.png) [@IndianStones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IndianStones)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/17 "2013-09-17T19:43:28Z")
> [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](#): > > Grow a mullet, drive a pickup and say “y’all” alot. Then ask them if they can keep up. Just don’t try to compete with them in the chewing tobacco arena. hahaha > [@voltaire](#): > > My bet is that your parents see how important it is to you to be “American” and how you cast shame on them for not being “American” enough. As a result, they’re trying to make you happy by being as “American” as they can, and the thanks they get for their efforts to appease you is being called pieces of shit. Nope, they’ve made veiled insults and used other people to insult me as well. My guitar playing definitely hurts my dad’s ego a lot. Probably where all of this started. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/18 "2013-09-17T19:46:44Z")
What can be more American than a kid playing a guitar? Need more details, please. ---
**Author:** ![IndianStones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ebca7d/32.png) [@IndianStones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IndianStones)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/19 "2013-09-17T19:52:50Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > What can be more American than a kid playing a guitar? > > Need more details, please. Exactly, and that’s why my dad gets pissed. Because he started a “who’s more American” competition between us. He’s a lighter complected so he tries to use that to feel “more American” than me. Isn’t that so petty and shitty? With his stupid Indian accent… And they saw me talking to my friend at a store and went back into the store to tell him I’m basically a loser. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/20 "2013-09-17T19:57:05Z")
> [@IndianStones](#): > > He’s a lighter complected so he tries to use that to feel “more American” than me. I don’t think the word “American” means what you think it means. But I guess you could join some white supremacists if you want to outdo your dad. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074.md?page=2)