# My Indian Parents' Racial Shame **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 17, 2013, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074 "2013-09-17T18:29:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/21 "2013-09-17T19:59:06Z")
You do realize that none of us have the slightest inkling of a clue who you or your parents are, what any of you look like, or what kind of accents you have, right? Because you keep talking like we’re all on the same page and we should know exactly what you’re talking about when you refer to your dad’s “stupid Indian accent” and whatnot. I don’t even know if you’re talking about South Asian Indian or Native American Indian. ---
**Author:** ![IndianStones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ebca7d/32.png) [@IndianStones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IndianStones)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/22 "2013-09-17T20:02:32Z")
Both parents born and raised in India I was born and raised in America Dad is light-complected and I am not. He has an Indian accent and I do not. Somewhere along the line, they became ashamed of their Indianness and started competing with me (who’s more American). They’ve used their friends to fuck with me and tricked me into social situations that fuck with me, all to boost their own ego’s. I want revenge. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/23 "2013-09-17T20:04:30Z")
> [@IndianStones](#): > > Both parents born and raised in India > > I was born and raised in America > > Dad is light-complected and I am not. He has an Indian accent and I do not. > > Somewhere along the line, they became ashamed of their Indianness and started competing with me (who’s more American). They’ve used their friends to fuck with me and tricked me into social situations that fuck with me, all to boost their own ego’s. > > I want revenge. Again I ask-in what ways are they trying to become more American than you? edited to ask: How old are you? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/24 "2013-09-17T20:06:52Z")
Look. I’m of North Indian descent. Hell, I was born in Phillaur, a tiny little town in Panipat. I have weird parents (had, in the case of my mom). Sometimes they were terrible. I have no idea what you’re talking about. Is it a joke? A dare? Are you serious? You can’t get revenge against your parents for having you, even though sometimes you wish you could. They hold all of the cards. Best thing to do is grit your teeth and get them to pay for college. If your parents are really that much jerks - which I am not beyond believing, my parents were emotional abusers - the best thing to do is stick it out until you are 18 and then move out. And you want revenge? Don’t marry an Indian girl, that should be enough revenge. Other than that, not much else you can do as long as you live in their house. ---
**Author:** ![IndianStones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ebca7d/32.png) [@IndianStones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IndianStones)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/25 "2013-09-17T20:10:14Z")
[quote=“Czarcasm, post:23, topic:669074”] Again I ask-in what ways are they trying to become more American than you?/QUOTE] Having White friends/being accepted by White people the superior White people calling me dark-skinned with veiled insults ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/26 "2013-09-17T20:18:29Z")
Just become governor of a backwater southern state … ---
**Author:** ![IndianStones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ebca7d/32.png) [@IndianStones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IndianStones)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/27 "2013-09-17T20:19:13Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I have weird parents Are they ashamed to be Indian? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/28 "2013-09-17T20:20:58Z")
No. So? ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/29 "2013-09-17T20:24:23Z")
[quote=“IndianStones, post:25, topic:669074”] > [@Czarcasm](#): > > Again I ask-in what ways are they trying to become more American than you?/QUOTE] > > Having White friends/being accepted by White people > > the superior White people > > calling me dark-skinned with veiled insults Your dad’s not ashamed of you for being more American. He’s just transferring his anger at the postman to you. ---
**Author:** ![leahcim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b4bc9f/32.png) [@leahcim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leahcim)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/30 "2013-09-17T20:24:41Z")
It seems to me, given the Indian people I know, that the greatest distinguishing feature between Indian people and “50th percentile Americans” is that Indian people care a great deal more about what their parents think of their lifestyles. I know multiple Indian-Americans who have Ph.D.s and/or are very successful in business and freakishly wealthy, but as soon as their mom or dad criticizes anything about them, they fold. So probably the singular most American thing you can do is tell them, “I don’t give a shit about your stupid American-being game, because I don’t value your opinion”. ---
**Author:** ![IndianStones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ebca7d/32.png) [@IndianStones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IndianStones)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/31 "2013-09-17T20:27:01Z")
Thanks for understanding, leahcim ---
**Author:** ![Steken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Steken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steken)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/32 "2013-09-17T20:29:01Z")
> [@leahcim](#): > > So probably the singular most American thing you can do is tell them, “I don’t give a shit about your stupid American-being game, because I don’t value your opinion”. “Whatever.” ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/33 "2013-09-17T20:31:12Z")
Are you a real live nephew of your Uncle Sam, born on the Fourth of July? ---
**Author:** ![lost4life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@lost4life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lost4life)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/34 "2013-09-17T20:33:02Z")
> [@IndianStones](#): > > …My guitar playing definitely hurts my dad’s ego a lot. Probably where all of this started. I have no idea what you’re talking about, but I have more of no idea regarding this statement. Does he find the guitar too British or something? ---
**Author:** ![IndianStones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ebca7d/32.png) [@IndianStones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IndianStones)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/35 "2013-09-17T20:35:45Z")
> [@lost4life](#): > > I have no idea what you’re talking about, but I have more of no idea regarding this statement. Does he find the guitar too British or something? He sees my playing as a threat to his trying-to-be-more-American ego ---
**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/36 "2013-09-17T20:44:25Z")
I don’t understand what the “being more American” contest has to do with the veiled insults. And I have no idea how they could possibly use others in this game. [Indian accent]Look at my phony son. Thinks he’s American! Ha! I am the real American[/Indian accent] It wouldn’t even make sense to anyone else, unless people are just patronizing them. Or unless they employ people who have to kiss their asses. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/37 "2013-09-17T20:46:45Z")
> [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](#): > > [Indian accent]Look at my phony son. Thinks he’s American! Ha! I am the real American[/Indian accent] Ha! This made me laugh out loud. I am genuinely confused by the OP, too, and I kind of wish he would give some freakin details. Judging by what I have heard Indians say as a joke (mostly!) the best way to become “American” (if you are male anyway) is to marry a smoking hot blond chick, I mean like ‘Christie Brinkley in her heydey’ hotness. Then you are AMERICAN! ---
**Author:** ![IndianStones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ebca7d/32.png) [@IndianStones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IndianStones)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/38 "2013-09-17T20:49:47Z")
I don’t wanna give any more details dammit. This could all be monitored. Leahcim seems to understand though. Fuck my parents for this. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/39 "2013-09-17T20:53:08Z")
Okie-dokie. ---
**Author:** ![shantih](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f6c823/32.png) [@shantih](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shantih)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2013, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/40 "2013-09-17T20:57:02Z")
**IndianStones** , may I ask how old you are? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074.md?page=3)