# My Indian Parents' Racial Shame **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 17, 2013, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074 "2013-09-17T18:29:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Lord\_Mondegreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/91b2a8/32.png) [@Lord\_Mondegreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Mondegreen)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2013, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/61 "2013-09-18T02:32:31Z")
> [@IndianStones](#): > > You’re the man. No, no. That’s not right at all! A _real_ American would say, “You _da_ man.” Please try harder next time. (Then again, what the hell would I know - I’m Australian. :)) ---
**Author:** ![IndianStones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ebca7d/32.png) [@IndianStones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IndianStones)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2013, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/62 "2013-09-18T03:08:17Z")
> [@Lord\_Mondegreen](#): > > No, no. That’s not right at all! A _real_ American would say, “You _da_ man.” Please try harder next time. Maybe a real _African_-American, mate 😉 ---
**Author:** ![IndianStones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ebca7d/32.png) [@IndianStones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IndianStones)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2013, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/63 "2013-09-18T03:09:27Z")
> [@IndianStones](#): > > [http://youtu.be/4qTY6-xKHpM](http://youtu.be/4qTY6-xKHpM) ^Highly relevant song ---
**Author:** ![Werekoala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7993a0/32.png) [@Werekoala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Werekoala)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2013, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/64 "2013-09-18T03:15:01Z")
> [@IndianStones](#): > > Maybe a real _African_-American, mate 😉 Nah, it’s been more of a white-guy-trying-to-sound-“hip” thing for about 10 years now. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2013, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/65 "2013-09-18T03:16:14Z")
> [@IndianStones](#): > > Great advice. I’ll tell you I’m under 30. This **is** pretty trivial, but for some reason I couldn’t stop thinking about it last night. > > You’re good. I guess you’re a psych major or something. > > I was diagnosed with residual schizophrenia 3-4 years ago. so possibly there’s a bit of paranoia involved? Do your parents know about this? ---
**Author:** ![IndianStones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ebca7d/32.png) [@IndianStones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IndianStones)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2013, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/66 "2013-09-18T06:48:22Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > so possibly there’s a bit of paranoia involved? Do your parents know about this? Yes and yes But that does not invalidate my claims of conspiracy God dammit I just realized that the “psychologist” my dad set me up with last year was part of it. She and her group took turns making digs at me the whole time - to the satisfaction of my racially insecure dad. I will have my revenge. I will win. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2013, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/67 "2013-09-18T11:11:40Z")
> [@IndianStones](#): > > Great advice. I’ll tell you I’m under 30. Oh cool! So is my newborn niece!! ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2013, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/68 "2013-09-18T12:20:15Z")
> [@IndianStones](#): > > I will have my revenge. I will win. If your “revenge” involves trying to beat your dad at his game by doing the same sorts of things or by hurting him in some way, you will likely live to regret it. That’s a path that has no end. The best revenge, as they say, is living well. Hang on until you can move out, and then tell your parents that if they want you in their life they need to knock this shit off. And if they can’t do that, you don’t need them in \*\*your \*\*life. Then go be “American” in whatever way you goddamn feel like. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2013, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/69 "2013-09-18T13:00:37Z")
Agreed. The best revenge is really apathy. If you just don’t even care what they do, all of their troubles are for naught. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2013, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/70 "2013-09-18T13:23:18Z")
Make your dad sit through the _Coopers and the Robinsons_ skits from Goodness Gracious Me. They’re mostly on YouTube. He’ll shut up. > [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > More details would be nice. In the meantime, though, take a look at [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZkyYkKKnns) and [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FstMoM-spJU); segments from a British sketch comedy show called “Goodness Gracious Me.” ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2013, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/71 "2013-09-18T13:24:50Z")
> [@IndianStones](#): > > Yes and yes > > But that does not invalidate my claims of conspiracy God dammit Just because you are paranoid doesn’t mean people aren’t out to get you. But chances are it is just paranoia. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2013, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/72 "2013-09-18T14:27:39Z")
Move out. If you’re too young or poor to move out, then put up with it and make fun of them behind their backs. If you already moved out, stop listening to them. Just because they raised you doesn’t mean they’re good parents or worth listening to. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2013, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/73 "2013-09-18T14:29:09Z")
Do you still live with your parents? I think you need to start keeping score on a big sheet of paper, attached to the fridge with magnets. That’s very american, so you immediately get a bonus point for doing that. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2013, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/74 "2013-09-18T14:37:17Z")
> [@IndianStones](#): > > Yes and yes > > But that does not invalidate my claims of conspiracy God dammit > > I just realized that the “psychologist” my dad set me up with last year was part of it. She and her group took turns making digs at me the whole time - to the satisfaction of my racially insecure dad. > > I will have my revenge. I will win. What sort of revenge are you considering? If you are thinking of causing them, or someone else, some physical harm as part of that revenge please discuss these thoughts with you psychiatrist immediately. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Surb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@The\_Surb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Surb)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2013, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/75 "2013-09-18T14:50:30Z")
> [@IndianStones](#): > > I want revenge. Have you thought about getting a bow, some arrows, and war paint? And maybe a nice little feathered headdress. ---
**Author:** ![truthSeeker2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7cd45c/32.png) [@truthSeeker2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/truthSeeker2)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2013, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/76 "2013-09-18T14:59:50Z")
Ofcourse I believe that its your temporary feeling, and you already go about in best possible way for everyone concerned, but I am still advising and sorry if I sound preachy. Ofcourse do whatever you feel is the best for you in life without succumbing to parents’ pressures. Feel compassion for your parents and for everybody in general, because they act like they do because of their conditioning and upbringing. Ofcourse, its easier for me to just say and difficult for me to actually follow my own advice, but still its the best advice I feel. After all, we human beings are all social animals and we need some company, love and care and so do your parents who will most likely be emotionally attached with you. btw, this situation is only probable if your parents grew up in some big Indian city or may be south india (idk), if they had grown up in some small town, they wouldn’t be as eager (or desperate) as you suggest. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2013, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/77 "2013-09-18T14:59:52Z")
“That’s the best revenge of all: happiness. Nothing drives people crazier than seeing someone have a good fucking life.” - Chuck Palahniuk ---
**Author:** ![truthSeeker2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7cd45c/32.png) [@truthSeeker2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/truthSeeker2)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2013, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/78 "2013-09-18T15:41:08Z")
Russell Peters’ comedy on this subject - [1](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOm-15621bs) , [2](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=875hjsX-qAI) ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2013, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/79 "2013-09-18T15:59:59Z")
I don’t see anywhere in the op’s posts that justify the level of professed angst. My father teased me about stuff and I teased him about stuff. That’s typical and normal. All this talk of revenge is not healthy. Find a different psychiatrist and work through your problems. ---
**Author:** ![IndianStones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ebca7d/32.png) [@IndianStones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IndianStones)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2013, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/80 "2013-09-18T16:28:01Z")
> [@dseid](#): > > What sort of revenge are you considering? > > If you are thinking of causing them, or someone else, some physical harm as part of that revenge please discuss these thoughts with you psychiatrist immediately. Nah, just psychological harm And there’s nothing wrong with good ol’ fashioned psychological harm > [@Gyrate](#): > > If your “revenge” involves trying to beat your dad at his game by doing the same sorts of things or by hurting him in some way, you will likely live to regret it. That’s a path that has no end. I guess that’s true [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074.md?page=5)