# My Indian Parents' Racial Shame **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 17, 2013, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074 "2013-09-17T18:29:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Grey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Grey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grey)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2013, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/81 "2013-09-18T16:42:26Z")
Or you know, grow up, move out and leave them behind. It lacks the assholish approach you seem to favour but it’s an imperfect world. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2013, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/82 "2013-09-18T17:07:32Z")
> [@IndianStones](#): > > And there’s nothing wrong with good ol’ fashioned psychological harm Except for the, you know, harm. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2013, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/83 "2013-09-18T17:30:04Z")
Nothing is more American than the weird worship of youthfulness. Now you want to do this with a sense of humor and a smile. “Yes, Dad, I’m trying to be more American than you. For instance, I’m not old and it’s not creepy when I introduce myself to a beautiful young woman. Being American is about being young. I will always be much younger than you. And that was your doing. Yours and Mom’s. Thanks. Now I have to go play golf and get some NASCAR tickets.” ---
**Author:** ![IndianStones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ebca7d/32.png) [@IndianStones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IndianStones)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2013, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/84 "2013-09-18T17:48:10Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > Except for the, you know, harm. Hey, they don’t care about my psychological well-being, then I don’t care about theirs ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2013, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/85 "2013-09-18T18:09:40Z")
> [@IndianStones](#): > > Hey, they don’t care about my psychological well-being, then I don’t care about theirs You know, with human beings, sometimes you should be a better person than your adversary, and not just sink to their level. You don’t get any prizes for this, but then, you also don’t make the world a worse place. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2013, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/86 "2013-09-18T18:23:09Z")
> [@sandra\_nz](#): > > Do you still live with your parents? I think you need to start keeping score on a big sheet of paper, attached to the fridge with magnets. That’s very american, so you immediately get a bonus point for doing that. And make sure you passive-aggressively post it so it partially obscures _his_ scorecard on the refrigerator. Maybe move his lower on the door. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2013, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/87 "2013-09-18T18:55:07Z")
Pop out of corners in the dark and yell “BOO!” at him. Trust me, the first few times might be just annoying, and he might laugh at you, but keep this up for 10 years and he won’t be able to drive in a roundabout without being nervous and on edge ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2013, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/88 "2013-09-18T20:01:44Z")
> [@IndianStones](#): > > Hey, they don’t care about my psychological well-being, then I don’t care about theirs If you really didn’t care about his psychological well-being, then you wouldn’t be trying to harm him. You’d ignore him. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2013, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/89 "2013-09-18T20:18:42Z")
Given that… > [@IndianStones](#): > > I was diagnosed with residual schizophrenia 3-4 years ago. How can you be sure that… > [@IndianStones](#): > > Hey, they don’t care about my psychological well-being, … Maybe it’s time for another check-up from the neck up? You know… before you exact your revenge. ---
**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2013, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/90 "2013-09-18T23:43:45Z")
It is interesting the the OP decided to include the word ‘Indian’ in his/her user name. And the letter S is right next to the letter D on the keyboard. Hmm. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/91 "2013-09-19T00:16:16Z")
Swearing revenge against ones parent, is not, well, very American really. However such themes occur regularly in Bollywood movies. That whole lighter/darker skin thing, also cliche Bollywood. I’m just saying, for people so desperately striving to be American, y’all don’t quite seem to be able to get beyond your Indian Bollywood cliches. It’s kinda funny, I think! ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/92 "2013-09-19T02:06:37Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > What can be more American than a kid playing a guitar? A kid with freckles and a mixed breed puppy playing baseball. ---
**Author:** ![IndianStones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ebca7d/32.png) [@IndianStones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IndianStones)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/93 "2013-09-19T04:43:31Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > Swearing revenge against ones parent, is not, well, very American really.However such themes occur regularly in Bollywood movies. Since when? That’s news to me. > [@elbows](#): > > However such themes occur regularly in Bollywood movies. That whole lighter/darker skin thing, also cliche Bollywood. > > I’m just saying, for people so desperately striving to be American, y’all don’t quite seem to be able to get beyond your Indian Bollywood cliches. It’s kinda funny, I think! These are all my parents’ insecurities, not mine. And it’s not my fault you’re ashamed to be Canadian… ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/94 "2013-09-19T11:05:40Z")
> [@IndianStones](#): > > And it’s not my fault you’re ashamed to be Canadian… Have you ever met a Canadian, let alone one that was ashamed of it? I very much doubt it. Back to you and your revenge plot. So what’s the plan? Eat bologna and american cheese on Wonder bread? Change your last name to Smith? Become a Mormon? Marry a white girl and move to Wisconsin? ---
**Author:** ![truthSeeker2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7cd45c/32.png) [@truthSeeker2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/truthSeeker2)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/95 "2013-09-19T11:32:50Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > Swearing revenge against ones parent, is not, well, very American really. However such themes occur regularly in Bollywood movies. That whole lighter/darker skin thing, also cliche Bollywood. > > I’m just saying, for people so desperately striving to be American, y’all don’t quite seem to be able to get beyond your Indian Bollywood cliches. It’s kinda funny, I think! Sorry but thatsan incorrect post in many ways. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/96 "2013-09-19T13:56:10Z")
> [@truthSeeker2](#): > > Sorry but thatsan incorrect post in many ways. What part? Those are pretty Bollywood cliches. Hell, my first boyfriend’s mother HATED me completely - except she did grudgingly acknowledge I was “gauri” - fair-skinned. Which I am. ---
**Author:** ![truthSeeker2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7cd45c/32.png) [@truthSeeker2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/truthSeeker2)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/97 "2013-09-19T14:52:08Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > What part? Those are pretty Bollywood cliches. > > Hell, my first boyfriend’s mother HATED me completely - except she did grudgingly acknowledge I was “gauri” - fair-skinned. Which I am. 1. Swearing revenge against ones parent isn’t cliche bollywood or indian society. 2. One can say lighter/darker skin thing is bollywood/indian-society cliche. Though [darker lead actresses](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=16679638&postcount=116) have gained more and more acceptance these days. lighter/darker skin thing is getting weaker n weaker in younger people. So, your BF’s mother is way more expected to think abt it than your BF.🙂 3. The post mocks OP who isnt “desperately striving to be American” as mentioned by **elbows**. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/98 "2013-09-19T15:24:35Z")
OP admits being engaged in an epic battle to out American his parents. Differences in skin tone, within a family, affecting lovability etc, is indeed a very common theme in Asian films, yet foreign to most Americans. I’m not sure what Indian movies you’re watching that you don’t see swearing revenge as cliche. Look closer. How many other somethings do you know swearing revenge? I totally stand by what I posted as accurate. It is like a cheap Bollywood plot line and it is kinda funny, in my opinion. ---
**Author:** ![truthSeeker2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7cd45c/32.png) [@truthSeeker2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/truthSeeker2)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/99 "2013-09-19T15:35:29Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > OP admits being engaged in an epic battle to out American his parents. OP complains that his parents want to engage him but you’ve included OP for the “desperately striving to be American” competition. > [@](#): > > I’m not sure what Indian movies you’re watching that you don’t see swearing revenge as cliche. **Look closer.** How many other somethings do you know swearing revenge? I am an indian born, brought up and living in India. I have looked closely:). swearing revenge for parents as you’ve mentioned is rare let alone cliche. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074/100 "2013-09-19T15:44:13Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > Look closer. How many other somethings do you know swearing revenge? As an Italian-American, I resent that, but I agree with the others that “swearing revenge” (common) is very different from “swearing revenge on one’s parents” (nigh unthinkable). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-indian-parents-racial-shame/669074.md?page=6)