# My kid cracks me up sometimes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 20, 2010, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-cracks-me-up-sometimes/547302 "2010-07-20T00:42:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-cracks-me-up-sometimes/547302/1 "2010-07-20T00:42:56Z")
So a bit of backstory before I provide the video. Many of the men in my father-in-law’s family resemble our 42nd president, and my father-in-law is one of them for certain. He was over at our house for a bit tonight, and Josie was calling him “Papa!” over and over again–a new word for her–she was trying to say grandpa but Papa came out. Typical for a 17-month-old. Later on, she was sitting on my lap while I was surfing the internet, and a picture of the aforementioned Mr. Clinton on the front page of Yahoo! caught her eye. “Papa! Papa!” she said, pointing at the picture. It was that point that we realized that Papa sounds a lot like Bubba. Once we stopped laughing, [we started recording.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCJA6giACGc) ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-cracks-me-up-sometimes/547302/2 "2010-07-20T13:32:58Z")
What _I_ love about that clip is how Josie is so obviously trying to send ‘Bubba’ an email! 😃 Needless to say, my kid cracks me up sometimes, too. She’s much older than your kid (she’s 10), and she’s a ‘planner’. She likes to know what the plan is. Then she wants to know what the back-up plan is. And, oh, do we have a Plan C, just in case? 😃 Here’s an example: She loves to play practical jokes on her dad. Of course, these are 10YO-level practical jokes. So a couple of days ago, I was saying how I hadn’t made lasagna in a long time, and maybe I’ll make one this weekend, when her dad is home. She gets this little gleam in her eye. “I know”, she says, “we’ll _trick_ him” I asked her what she meant, and this was how our conversation went: 10YO: “Well, what do you fix for dinner that dad hates?” Me: “When he’s home, I try hard to fix stuff for dinner that he likes. But. . .I don’t know. I eat liverwurst sometimes, and he surely hates that!” Her: “OK. Tell him you’re making liverwurst sandwiches for dinner. Tell him you’re serving something yucky with them, like, oh, sauerkraut; but _then_, you’ll _really_ serve lasagna!” (By now, she’s cracking herself up with her mad joking skillz) Me: “Well, OK, I can do that. But how is he going to _not_ notice I’m making lasagna?” Her: (Thinks hard for a minute) “Well, how long does it take to make lasagna?” Me: “About two hours” Her: (Thinks again) “OK. Two hours. That’s four half-hour shows, but if they’re on DVR, a half-hour show only takes 20 minutes, so that’s. . .six half-hour shows. I’ve got it! I’ll ask him to watch three episodes of _Unwrapped_ and three episodes of _Pawn Stars_ with me. That’ll keep him too distracted to pay attention to what you’re cooking!” 😃 I think I find her most amusing when she’s busy amusing herself! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-cracks-me-up-sometimes/547302/3 "2010-07-20T14:02:53Z")
Cool, talking! Josie’s getting to the really fun stages! The little Torqueling (age 3) has recently gotten really, really into Hide and Seek. She’s getting better; at first, when she’d hide, we’d make a big show of walking around going, “Where’s Aubrey? Where’s Aubrey?” And when she heard that, she’d happily shout out, “Here I am!” So games were pretty short… ---
**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-cracks-me-up-sometimes/547302/4 "2010-07-20T21:39:29Z")
> [@norinew](#): > > What _I_ love about that clip is how Josie is so obviously trying to send ‘Bubba’ an email! 😃 > > Needless to say, my kid cracks me up sometimes, too. She’s much older than your kid (she’s 10), and she’s a ‘planner’. She likes to know what the plan is. Then she wants to know what the back-up plan is. And, oh, do we have a Plan C, just in case? 😃 > Here’s an example: She loves to play practical jokes on her dad. Of course, these are 10YO-level practical jokes. So a couple of days ago, I was saying how I hadn’t made lasagna in a long time, and maybe I’ll make one this weekend, when her dad is home. She gets this little gleam in her eye. “I know”, she says, “we’ll _trick_ him” I asked her what she meant, and this was how our conversation went: > 10YO: “Well, what do you fix for dinner that dad hates?” > Me: “When he’s home, I try hard to fix stuff for dinner that he likes. But. . .I don’t know. I eat liverwurst sometimes, and he surely hates that!” > Her: “OK. Tell him you’re making liverwurst sandwiches for dinner. Tell him you’re serving something yucky with them, like, oh, sauerkraut; but _then_, you’ll _really_ serve lasagna!” > (By now, she’s cracking herself up with her mad joking skillz) > Me: “Well, OK, I can do that. But how is he going to _not_ notice I’m making lasagna?” > Her: (Thinks hard for a minute) “Well, how long does it take to make lasagna?” > Me: “About two hours” > Her: (Thinks again) “OK. Two hours. That’s four half-hour shows, but if they’re on DVR, a half-hour show only takes 20 minutes, so that’s. . .six half-hour shows. I’ve got it! I’ll ask him to watch three episodes of _Unwrapped_ and three episodes of _Pawn Stars_ with me. That’ll keep him too distracted to pay attention to what you’re cooking!” > > 😃 > > I think I find her most amusing when she’s busy amusing herself! 😉 She sounds like she’s planning a bank caper! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-cracks-me-up-sometimes/547302/5 "2010-07-20T22:22:49Z")
> [@norinew](#): > > Her: (Thinks again) “OK. Two hours. That’s four half-hour shows, but if they’re on DVR, a half-hour show only takes 20 minutes, so that’s. . .six half-hour shows. I’ve got it! I’ll ask him to watch three episodes of _Unwrapped_ and three episodes of _Pawn Stars_ with me. That’ll keep him too distracted to pay attention to what you’re cooking!” Who says math isn’t useful for everyday life? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-cracks-me-up-sometimes/547302/6 "2010-07-20T22:27:34Z")
My daughter (4yo) will say "That looks like papa (grandpa) a little bit) when she sees George Costanza. Come to think of it, the first time she say Louie DePalma she said “Daddy, how did papa get on TV?” ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2010, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-cracks-me-up-sometimes/547302/7 "2010-07-21T01:55:29Z")
> [@a35362](#): > > She sounds like she’s planning a bank caper! 😃 Well, she _is_ very much her father’s daughter (I keep telling him she’s the ‘son he always wanted’!) and while my hubby never robbed a bank, he always said that if he was _going to be a thief_, he’d plan it so that he’d only have to do it once! I’ve a feeling that’s exactly how **mudgirl** would approach it! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2010, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-cracks-me-up-sometimes/547302/8 "2010-07-21T15:01:48Z")
Another good one last night: the little Torqueling was playing with her kitchen, “making a pie.” She put stuff in a pan, added salt, added pepper, saying out loud each time what she was putting in. And then, she “added love.” To do that, she put her palms together, put her hands beside her cheek like a pillow, and rocked back and forth and saying, “mmmmmm,” as if she was hugging someone. See, my parents read a book to her sometimes where the little kid character and his grandma make pies, and the thing that makes them taste super-good is that grandma always puts in extra love. So, you gotta add love when you’re making pies. hehehe. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2010, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-cracks-me-up-sometimes/547302/9 "2010-07-21T17:21:05Z")
> [@Max\_Torque](#): > > Another good one last night: the little Torqueling was playing with her kitchen, “making a pie.” She put stuff in a pan, added salt, added pepper, saying out loud each time what she was putting in. And then, she “added love.” To do that, she put her palms together, put her hands beside her cheek like a pillow, and rocked back and forth and saying, “mmmmmm,” as if she was hugging someone. > > See, my parents read a book to her sometimes where the little kid character and his grandma make pies, and the thing that makes them taste super-good is that grandma always puts in extra love. So, you gotta add love when you’re making pies. hehehe. Too freakin’ cute! This, of course, is what keeps us from killing them before they have a chance to hit puberty. . .😃 ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2010, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-cracks-me-up-sometimes/547302/10 "2010-07-21T17:47:04Z")
Celtling has a castle dollhouse which is the perfect size for the “Polly Pocket” princesses\* to inhabit. The trouble is we haven’t been able to find any PP Princes, so an appropriately sized Spiderman has had to fill the void. Ahem, anyway, so the other day Cinderella and Spidey were sipping tea in the tower, which was awkward because between the tea table, and the chairs, and Cindi’s voluminous skirt, Mrs. Potts and Chip kept getting knocked down into the moat. So finally, Cinderella has had it with this and says in tone of utter pique: “Spiderman, could you just go rescue something please?” I was rolling. - Sample here: [http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51g595CyHsL.\_SS500\_.jpg](http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51g595CyHsL._SS500_.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2010, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-cracks-me-up-sometimes/547302/11 "2010-07-21T17:49:51Z")
btw, in searching for that link, I found this: [http://www.toyboxland.com/15-251909011-B001TITOB8-Polly\_Pocket\_Pop\_N\_Swap\_Multipack](http://www.toyboxland.com/15-251909011-B001TITOB8-Polly_Pocket_Pop_N_Swap_Multipack) which I find just incredibly disturbing. . . ---
**Author:** ![Looey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ee7513/32.png) [@Looey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Looey)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2010, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-cracks-me-up-sometimes/547302/12 "2010-07-21T18:08:08Z")
> [@norinew](#): > > This, of course, is what keeps us from killing them before they have a chance to hit puberty. . .😃 Little Miss Looey is 14 now though, and all bets are off!:eek: ---
**Author:** ![MissGypsy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8491ac/32.png) [@MissGypsy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissGypsy)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2010, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-cracks-me-up-sometimes/547302/13 "2010-07-21T21:21:37Z")
My middle son met the love of his life last year, in preschool. I’ll call her Anna. He informed me a few weeks ago that he’s going to marry her, but he hasn’t told her yet so it will be a surprise. Yesterday, he casually asked me if he was in my tummy before he was born. Well, yeah, basically, why do you ask? He nodded, and said, “So when Anna and I are married and she has a tummyache, I’ll tell her she’s going to have a baby! And we’re going to have 9 babies, but not all at once.” I tried to keep a straight face. Then his dad suggested that perhaps they should wait a while before getting married, as they’re 5 years old. Son drew himself up as tall as a little 5-year-old can, and indignantly retorted, “But I _love_ her! Don’t you dare think I don’t love her, because I do!” I had to leave the room before I completely lost it. Poor little Anna doesn’t know what she’s in for, with a surprise wedding and 9 babies to follow! ---
**Author:** ![Serenata67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/serenata67/32/10646_2.png) [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2010, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-cracks-me-up-sometimes/547302/14 "2010-07-22T03:01:21Z")
> [@Max\_Torque](#): > > Another good one last night: the little Torqueling was playing with her kitchen, “making a pie.” She put stuff in a pan, added salt, added pepper, saying out loud each time what she was putting in. And then, she “added love.” To do that, she put her palms together, put her hands beside her cheek like a pillow, and rocked back and forth and saying, “mmmmmm,” as if she was hugging someone. > > See, my parents read a book to her sometimes where the little kid character and his grandma make pies, and the thing that makes them taste super-good is that grandma always puts in extra love. So, you gotta add love when you’re making pies. hehehe. > [@TruCelt](#): > > \So finally, Cinderella has had it with this and says in tone of utter pique: “Spiderman, could you just go rescue something please?” > > I was rolling. These are sooooo cute! These kind of stories make me want to have a baby even more… I can’t wait til I’m a mommy someday. I hope my kids will be this cute! ---
**Author:** ![canadiankorean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/2bfe46/32.png) [@canadiankorean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/canadiankorean)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2010, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-cracks-me-up-sometimes/547302/15 "2010-07-22T03:39:00Z")
My daughter does some things that make me laugh. I can’t remember off the top of my head all the things but here are a few. There are times when I bring her home and I take off her shoes and socks and I smell her feet. Usually they are a tiny bit stinky, but I love it cuz she’s my girl. So I grab her feet and take a big whiff. Then a few months later, just sitting in some random place, my daughter whispered to my wife with a serious face. “Mommy I have a secret to tell you.” She waved my wife to bring her head close. “Daddy likes to smell my stinky feet. Shhhhh.” My wife just cracked up. * * * Back when she was 2 yrs old, my wife and I got into a little argument. I was upset with her and my daughter saw my angry face. I told my daughter that I’m upset with mommy. My wife also said that daddy was upset with mommy. Anyway, we drove to a drug mart to pick up a card. While I was inside, my wife asked my daughter, “What can we do to make daddy happy?” She paused for a second, then said with a smirk on her face, “Daddy is angry at YOUUUUU!” and she pointed at my wife. (My wife said she had a smirk that showed that she knew that it didn’t matter cuz I wasn’t angry at her.) * * * We got my girl some books that are easy to read when she was 2.5 yrs. The “Bob Books” . Anyway it went through some easy sentences for her to learn to read like “Mac sat.” and “Mac sat on Sam.” She was slowly learning to read. She can see the word but I think she memorized the word itself. She wasn’t using phonics to read. So one night, we were reading the book. I pointed to the word and had her say the word/sentence. She was slowly reading the sentences. She read “Mac sat.” “Mac sat on Sam” etc She got to the longer sentence and tried to read it. The sentence was “Mac can tag Mag” with a picture showing Mac chasing Mag the dog. She said, "Mac… " then she thought for a few seconds and said, “chased…” So I kind of burst out laughing… I laughed because she was using the picture to figure out the sentence… but I thought it was cute. Then after 30 seconds she burst into tears. I think I offended her as she was trying her best to read. And she thought I was laughing at her. I felt bad. But anyways at 3.5 yrs old she can read most phonetic 3-4 letter words… so it didn’t harm her learning… phew. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2010, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-cracks-me-up-sometimes/547302/16 "2010-07-22T05:02:15Z")
My cousin has three kids, a boy, Drew and two girls, Madison (aka Maddie) and Mikayla. Maddie just turned four and Mikayla’s almost two. Well, earlier this year Maddie’s preschool teacher asked the class if they had any pets. Maddie raised her hand and when the teacher asked her her pet’s name, Maddie said, “Mikayla.” She also informed my cousin, that “I’m a super hero, Mommy, and super heros don’t get time outs.” (I love that little kid. She’s hysterical. We share the same birthday, too) ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2010, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-cracks-me-up-sometimes/547302/17 "2010-07-22T05:53:35Z")
> [@MissGypsy](#): > > I had to leave the room before I completely lost it. Poor little Anna doesn’t know what she’s in for, with a surprise wedding and 9 babies to follow! My 7yo daughter has a whole life plan that cracks me up. She is going to be a veterinarian, and also a kung-fu master. She will have two dogs (a chihuahua and a poodle), a horse, and some cats, and will ride the horse to the kung-fu studio when she teaches. She also plans to have 10 children–she will need to get married young to fit them all in, and intends to have some twins for efficiency. That girl has _plans_, I tell you. 😃 The other day she picked out a new lunch box–bright fuchsia–and decorated it with a stormtrooper dangly on the zipper. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Woodhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@Miss\_Woodhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Woodhouse)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2010, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-cracks-me-up-sometimes/547302/18 "2010-07-22T06:02:15Z")
Our eight year old informed us the other day that hats are so the Zombies can’t eat your brain. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2010, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-cracks-me-up-sometimes/547302/19 "2010-07-22T07:59:53Z")
> [@Max\_Torque](#): > > Another good one last night: the little Torqueling was playing with her kitchen, “making a pie.” She put stuff in a pan, added salt, added pepper, saying out loud each time what she was putting in. And then, she “added love.” To do that, she put her palms together, put her hands beside her cheek like a pillow, and rocked back and forth and saying, “mmmmmm,” as if she was hugging someone. > > See, my parents read a book to her sometimes where the little kid character and his grandma make pies, and the thing that makes them taste super-good is that grandma always puts in extra love. So, you gotta add love when you’re making pies. hehehe. Karlos Arguiñano, a chef who’s had a show on Spanish TV for many years, always says that the most important ingredient in everything you cook is love. You must cook things “con mucho, mucho amor” (with lots, lots of love). It’s become part of Spanish folk culture, people will say of something which was cooked sloppily that “it didn’t have enough love”. The Kidlette is 21mo; she can say some complete sentences but most of her speech is still very garbled. Last weekend, she was showing me a Disney picture book; she says both “Minnie Mouse” and “Mickey Mouse” as “Mi Mó” (ehr… meeMOH); Donald Duck and Daisy Duck (el Pato Donald and Daisy, for some reason she’s not la Pata Daisy) both got to be “Paddo”. She’d point to each figure and name it; she nodded when I got Mickey and Minnie right, then pointed to Paddo and I said “el Pato Donald”, pointed to a Paddo with a bow on her head and I said “Daisy”… then she thought hard… looked at one Paddo and the other Paddo… looked at me… I pointed and said “el Pato Donald” and pointed and said “Daisy”. She looked at one. Looked at the other. Nodded. We went on, with her nodding every time I got the name right (she sure exercises those specific muscles a lot). Later she was doing the same with one of her Uncles and the Uncle would say “Mickey” every time she said “Mi Mó” and “un Pato” (a duck) when she said “Paddo”. She Was Not Happy - at all. Apparenly some Uncles can’t tell the difference between mimó-with-a-ribbon and mimó-with-no-ribbon, unbelievable! ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2010, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-cracks-me-up-sometimes/547302/20 "2010-07-22T11:52:56Z")
**MissGypsy** , I think yours is my favorite so far - love the drama and the perfect command of language! My 7yo was getting ready for a trip with her Granny, and she is still having some lingering poison ivy itch. Me: Did you pack your cortisone cream? Her: I already packed it. Me: I think that was a good idea. Her: I know. That’s why I did it. Of course what makes it funny is that it was perfectly matter of fact, with no snarkiness. Oh, I just remembered another one: “My name is French, even though I’m not French, I’m Christian.” (Which she’s not - as far as I can tell she’s a social Deist at the moment.) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-cracks-me-up-sometimes/547302.md?page=2)