# My kid is enrolling in college this year. So I decided to pen a letter to Admissions. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 20, 2020, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-is-enrolling-in-college-this-year-so-i-decided-to-pen-a-letter-to-admissions/849908 "2020-03-20T17:45:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2020, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-is-enrolling-in-college-this-year-so-i-decided-to-pen-a-letter-to-admissions/849908/1 "2020-03-20T17:45:19Z")
The one copied is for St. Johns, but I also sent the same to Hofstra, Adelphi, and Rutgers. We’ll see if they respond! Names changed to protect the unknown. Formatting is as it appears on original email. I did attach an image… the graphic on page 19 of the Imperial College Report… which does not display below. > [@](#): > > Subject: Questions re: Enrollment and COVID-19 > > Body, > > Ma’am: > > \*These questions are based on a scenario where the COVID-19 pandemic extends beyond the “few weeks” most Americans are telling themselves it will last. Having read the Imperial College Report (link below) on COVID-19, I personally think this optimism is overblown: I hope it is _not_, but the US’s response to this - effectively leaving it to Mayors and Governors who made decisions based upon the political and health needs of their locales only - has all but guaranteed a widespread pandemic the likes this country hasn’t seen since the worse of the polio outbreaks of the 1950s, not to mention the Spanish Flu of 1918-1919. > > Given the projections on Pages 8, 10, and, especially, Appendix A, there is a very strong likelihood that the pandemic will appear in stages, with another ballooning of cases to begin starting in September, peaking in November and/or December, finally tapering down by January 2021 - March 2021. (c.f. pages 8, 10, and 19 (Appendix A)). The only mitigation strategy which prevents this projected flareup is… no mitigation strategy at all, letting the virus rage through the population, unchecked. > > Do note the conclusions in this very report caused the entire United Kingdom to dramatically change their approach towards COVID-19, forcing the entire country to change from the US approach to the approach used in Italy, S Korea, China, and other Developed Countries. \* > > Ma’am, as parents of a Texan child, sending her to NYC is a dream for her as well as us. As is natural, we are concerned about this transition in all the normal ways parents could be, but the COVID-19 situation is truly making us rethink some things, especially the wisdom of sending our child to a large city with few family members around when this pandemic flares up again this Fall. > > I do know that events and decisions by St Johns President Grempshaw may answer some of these questions for us, and they may become moot as the situation develops, but as we are expecting to make a ~$250,000 commitment of resources within 6 weeks… both our resources and St John’s (thank you for the very generous scholarship offerings!)… I feel that answers to these questions are necessary, given the May 1st deadline. > > 1. Is St Johns developing plans for an interruption of the 2020-2021 school year, including not just instruction, but housing and dining interruptions? > 2. If we select housing… and we likely will… if Daughter and the rest of the students are forced from their housing in October - January (for example), will the housing fees be prorated? How is the University handling this currently? > 3. How is St Johns feeding the students currently who are on the meal plan? > 4. If St Johns has closed down their dining areas, are the meal fees being prorated as well? > > **Assuming Daughter and her family decides a “Gap Year” is best for her health and safety, but still commits to St Johns starting Fall 2021 instead of Fall 2020:** > > 1. Do the scholarships and other grants ‘carry-over’? If not, how will they be determined? > 2. Can we pay a commitment fee for 2021, or do we have to wait? > 3. Would Daughter have to re-apply to St Johns, possibly causing her to lose her spot? > > **Assuming Daughter and her family decides that starting in January 2021 is the most optimal solution:** > > 1. Can Daughter commit to 2020, but begin her schooling in January instead of September? > > 2. Would her scholarships and grants still apply, and if not, how will they be determined? > > 3. Would we be able to apply the May 1st commitment fee to starting in January, 2021, or is there a different schedule for mid-term enrollees? > > 4. What other information should we know… which may not be covered in the above questions…that will allow us to make a proper decision? > > \, Daughter, Ex-Wife, and my dreams are to see Daughter in St. John’s red, and we wish to work with the University to make this happen. However, given this unprecedented situation, information is needed which will help us guide to a decision, especially with the clock ticking towards May 1st. > > We greatly appreciate your concerns and responses. > > Thank you, > > JohnT > Mom > Daughter > > - [https://www.imperial.ac.uk/media/imperial-college/medicine/sph/ide/gida-fellowships/Imperial-College-COVID19-NPI-modelling-16-03-2020.pdf](https://www.imperial.ac.uk/media/imperial-college/medicine/sph/ide/gida-fellowships/Imperial-College-COVID19-NPI-modelling-16-03-2020.pdf) > > I refer you to page 19, Appendix A, of the report for probable timelines of pandemic surges in the United States based upon differing containment scenarios. Also attached is an image of the projected US timeline. ---
**Author:** ![FinsToTheLeft](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finstotheleft/32/2930_2.png) [@FinsToTheLeft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinsToTheLeft)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2020, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-is-enrolling-in-college-this-year-so-i-decided-to-pen-a-letter-to-admissions/849908/2 "2020-03-20T20:47:15Z")
I think the questions are all valid, but I’m not sure if a parent sending the letter in is the correct course of action. Admittedly, I went through the old Ontario system which went up to grade 13 so I was 19 when I started university, but shouldn’t this have come from your daughter? ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2020, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-is-enrolling-in-college-this-year-so-i-decided-to-pen-a-letter-to-admissions/849908/3 "2020-03-20T20:53:23Z")
Perhaps. Who knows? Given that there is a $20,000/year expense coming directly from me, I’m fine asking these questions as it is, in fact, my money going to these schools. Given the uniqueness of the situation, the only difference is this letter would’ve been signed by Sophia - she’s a smart kid, but she’s still 18 and not really understanding of the impact all this is having. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2020, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-is-enrolling-in-college-this-year-so-i-decided-to-pen-a-letter-to-admissions/849908/4 "2020-03-20T21:06:12Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > I’m fine asking these questions as it is, in fact, my money going to these schools. I’m curious how fine your daughter is with you asking these questions. I know that if I were in her shoes, I’d be cringing hard. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2020, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-is-enrolling-in-college-this-year-so-i-decided-to-pen-a-letter-to-admissions/849908/5 "2020-03-20T21:09:20Z")
That’s is kinda… odd? I mean, she approved the letter, so I don’t even know why she would be “cringing hard”. Do your kids ‘cringe’ when you discuss finances and long-term decisions with them? Did you? A typical HS senior, Sophia is worried about Prom being cancelled. A typical Dad, I’m worried about her not having a dorm come November. Check out page 19 of the link to see what the projected COVID-19-based ICU utilization rate will be for the US. Note the fall-winter spike? ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2020, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-is-enrolling-in-college-this-year-so-i-decided-to-pen-a-letter-to-admissions/849908/6 "2020-03-20T21:21:07Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > That’s is kinda… odd? > > I mean, she approved the letter, so I don’t even know why she would be “cringing hard”. Do your kids ‘cringe’ when you discuss finances and long-term decisions with them? Discussion is not what I find cringy. It’s sending a letter to schools on her behalf that I find cringy. You could have at least ghost written it for her and let her sign it to create the illusion that she doesn’t have a Helicopter Dad hovering over her. ---
**Author:** ![wevets](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9a140/32.png) [@wevets](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wevets)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2020, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-is-enrolling-in-college-this-year-so-i-decided-to-pen-a-letter-to-admissions/849908/7 "2020-03-20T21:35:02Z")
I don’t know how things go in your workplace - mine (a university, although not any of the ones you named) is scrambling to figure out what Spring Quarter 2020 looks like, given that we’ve never done online-only instruction before. Expecting us to have a plan for conditions in Fall 2020 or Winter 2021 is fine, but unrealistic. It’s possible you’ll get an answer, however, if you do get an honest answer, it will probably be unsatisfying. How’s your own workplace planning for Winter 2021? ---
**Author:** ![wevets](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9a140/32.png) [@wevets](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wevets)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2020, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-is-enrolling-in-college-this-year-so-i-decided-to-pen-a-letter-to-admissions/849908/8 "2020-03-20T21:37:03Z")
duplicate post removed in the edit ---
**Author:** ![FinsToTheLeft](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finstotheleft/32/2930_2.png) [@FinsToTheLeft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinsToTheLeft)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2020, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-is-enrolling-in-college-this-year-so-i-decided-to-pen-a-letter-to-admissions/849908/9 "2020-03-20T23:45:10Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > Discussion is not what I find cringy. > > It’s sending a letter to schools on her behalf that I find cringy. > > You could have at least ghost written it for her and let her sign it to create the illusion that she doesn’t have a Helicopter Dad hovering over her. This was my point exactly. ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2020, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-is-enrolling-in-college-this-year-so-i-decided-to-pen-a-letter-to-admissions/849908/10 "2020-03-20T23:59:15Z")
When do you have to make decisions about the school by? This thing is developing so quickly, I very much doubt anyone can give you an even vaguely accurate answer _now_ about what they’re going to be doing in November. So who gives you the best answer now … won’t even help you in your planning! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Undeposable\_Hand](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_undeposable_hand/32/8502_2.png) [@The\_Undeposable\_Hand](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Undeposable_Hand)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2020, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-is-enrolling-in-college-this-year-so-i-decided-to-pen-a-letter-to-admissions/849908/11 "2020-03-21T00:06:20Z")
I think you should take things day by day John. I know the instinct is to control and fix, but this is not the time for it. Try to let things go for a bit. We are all in shock on some level. So just take a pause for yourself. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2020, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-is-enrolling-in-college-this-year-so-i-decided-to-pen-a-letter-to-admissions/849908/12 "2020-03-21T00:17:07Z")
> [@The\_Undeposable\_Hand](#): > > I think you should take things day by day John. I know the instinct is to control and fix, but this is not the time for it. Try to let things go for a bit. We are all in shock on some level. So just take a pause for yourself. Agreed. JohnT, do you really think they’ve formulated answers to this yet? Every college probably has hundreds if not thousands of other parents demanding the same info. Have you checked their websites for updates? Maybe they’re posting updates as they occur. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2020, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-is-enrolling-in-college-this-year-so-i-decided-to-pen-a-letter-to-admissions/849908/13 "2020-03-21T00:24:09Z")
I don’t think it’s cringey for a parent to Contact college administration on behalf of a prospective first-year student. That kid is still in high school at this moment and so is a kid, not a full adult. That kid’s not going to go to Princeton or any other top school without the financial and other commitments and support of es parents. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2020, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-is-enrolling-in-college-this-year-so-i-decided-to-pen-a-letter-to-admissions/849908/14 "2020-03-21T00:55:47Z")
I can answer what a large University will do for leftover time on dining cards and dorm payments, nothing. A big fat ‘Zero’. My daughter’s (she’s home doing her work online for now) scholarship will stay intact as long as she finishes this semester and doesn’t flunk out. You should look into online classes for her until you’re ready to send her off or the crisis subsides. Good luck. ---
**Author:** ![Topologist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/topologist/32/3208_2.png) [@Topologist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Topologist)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2020, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-is-enrolling-in-college-this-year-so-i-decided-to-pen-a-letter-to-admissions/849908/15 "2020-03-21T01:41:27Z")
I work at one of those schools. We’re working as hard as we can just to make sure that, come Monday, when our classes resume, all online, everything goes as smoothly as possible. (It won’t.) You’re asking reasonable questions, but we may not yet have answers. Things are changing quickly—the governor just announced today that he’s ordering most businesses to close as of Sunday evening. Nobody knows how long this is going to last. As for us, we’re starting to move our summer courses online, and we just don’t know what’s going to happen in the Fall. Everything now depends on the course of the pandemic. Contrary to Beck’s experience, I know that we’re refunding students for the time this spring semester when they won’t be in the dorms. I haven’t heard what we’re doing for the meal plans but I’m assuming something similar. It’s going to cost us a ton. As for whether you should be asking these questions or your daughter should, these days nobody will be surprised to see these questions coming from the parent. Parents are much more involved at this level than they used to be, and we’ve just come to expect it. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2020, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-is-enrolling-in-college-this-year-so-i-decided-to-pen-a-letter-to-admissions/849908/16 "2020-03-21T01:49:50Z")
I would have re-written the letter just to ask whether your daughter can defer admission until the spring semester, or a full year. You can add a sentence at the end about the current circumstances. I guarantee you that they’ll understand why you’re asking. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2020, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-is-enrolling-in-college-this-year-so-i-decided-to-pen-a-letter-to-admissions/849908/17 "2020-03-21T02:02:19Z")
What **wevets** and **Topologist** said. _Nobody_ knows what to expect months from now; we have much more immediate concerns. ---
**Author:** ![nelliebly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nelliebly/32/5422_2.png) [@nelliebly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nelliebly)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2020, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-is-enrolling-in-college-this-year-so-i-decided-to-pen-a-letter-to-admissions/849908/18 "2020-03-21T02:21:26Z")
John T, I’m sure the admissions offices will get many queries from parents, all of which will probably get answered with a generic note along the lines of , “At \_\_\_\_ U., student health is our primary concern, and we are committed to taking whatever steps are necessary to ensure the health and safety of our student body. We will continue to closely monitor COVID-19 developments and take actions accordingly. Please consult the university website at \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_. edu for the most up-to-date and accurate information on \_\_\_U.'s response to this public health crisis.” This would be a good time to start making the transition from you being the responsible parent to your daughter being responsible for herself. When she does go off to college, you will be very limited as to what you can do on her behalf, no matter how much you’re paying for her education. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2020, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-is-enrolling-in-college-this-year-so-i-decided-to-pen-a-letter-to-admissions/849908/19 "2020-03-21T02:25:16Z")
Oh, poop. I was hoping you meant the St. John’s _College_ in Annapolis, Md. That was one of the campuses we visited with our son. By the time we finished the tour, I was ready to enroll and earn a second BA. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2020, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-is-enrolling-in-college-this-year-so-i-decided-to-pen-a-letter-to-admissions/849908/20 "2020-03-21T02:30:38Z")
Please don’t. That’s a huge wall of text explaining things to them they already know and asking them questions they can’t possibly answer now. Just ask about gap year and a delayed start. You don’t have to rationalize why. They know why. This is like explaining to the waiter, in grueling detail, why you don’t like sweet potato fries, and why you should be allowed to substitute the mixed veggies. To the degree that he needs to know, he already does; you explaining doesn’t change his opinion. Just ask. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-is-enrolling-in-college-this-year-so-i-decided-to-pen-a-letter-to-admissions/849908.md?page=2)