# My kid slammed the toilet seat on his weiner **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 31, 2009, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-slammed-the-toilet-seat-on-his-weiner/523143 "2009-12-31T04:21:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-slammed-the-toilet-seat-on-his-weiner/523143/43 "2011-01-09T03:57:06Z")
> [@alphaboi867](#): > > Wait until he has to take a piss outstide and get’s stung by a bee or a wasp on his penis. Never happened to me, but did happen to 2 friends of mine. Once was when he was at summer camp on a hiking trip, the other was during high school. It was during gym class and we were outdoors at the football flield. He needed to take a piss and the porta-potties were locked so our teacher had him go behind them and pee in the woods. He got stung by a wasp on his head. We practically had to carry him to the nurse’s office so she could examine his penis and remove the stringer. She cleared 2 girls out of the exam area _by saying exactly that_. Oh, and just to make things worse his mom worked over at the middle school (attached to high school) and the office called her and she came rushing over. Fortunaly our gym teacher managed to keep her in the waiting area of the nurse’s office until her son was able to get his pants back one. Man, I’m not saying this didn’t happen as Darwin is a conniving fucker even from the grave, but I am challenged to understand how someone taking a whiz could get stung by a bee or wasp on their Johnson???:smack: ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-slammed-the-toilet-seat-on-his-weiner/523143/44 "2011-01-09T04:35:51Z")
I lack male equipment but am still cringing at this thread. And ladies, we are not totally safe – I once was riding somebody’s brother’s bike and slipped forward off the seat and slammed my lady bits right down on the bar. Sort of at a forward angle. The pain was…indescribable. Lots of nerves, very small area. Owwwwwwwww. ---
**Author:** ![Pyper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Pyper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pyper)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-slammed-the-toilet-seat-on-his-weiner/523143/45 "2011-01-09T05:07:44Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > OK, I’m trying to visualize how this could realistically happen. > > Junior is done peeing. He leaves his willy lying on the surface of the toilet bowl as he reaches forward to shut the lid of the toilet, not dislodging his willy from the toilet bowl surface as he does so. He leans back, which he must do in order that the closing lid does not hit him, and again does so without displacing willy from the ledge. Willy is crushed (or at least nicked). > > I am not doubting, but it does seem like an unlikely series of events. > mmm This happened to a student of mine (I’m a behavior therapist) while we were potty-training. He was dawdling at the toilet with his pants down and kind of fiddling with the toilet seat, which caused it to slam down on his penis. ---
**Author:** ![dhkendall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9adbd/32.png) [@dhkendall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dhkendall)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-slammed-the-toilet-seat-on-his-weiner/523143/46 "2011-01-09T05:09:19Z")
> [@alphaboi867](#): > > We practically had to carry him to the nurse’s office so she could examine his penis and remove the stringer. She cleared 2 girls out of the exam area _by saying exactly that_. Oh, and just to make things worse his mom worked over at the middle school (attached to high school) and the office called her and she came rushing over. Fortunaly our gym teacher managed to keep her in the waiting area of the nurse’s office until her son was able to get his pants back one. You know, if I, as a high school male, had to choose between having my mom see my junk, and having 2 girls flee the area at the mere mention that they might see my penis … I’d take door #1 any day. (I’m probably taking away the wrong message from the post, but that part (about the girls) just sounded real embarrassing to me as written/understood) ---
**Author:** ![GameHat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ed655f/32.png) [@GameHat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GameHat)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-slammed-the-toilet-seat-on-his-weiner/523143/47 "2011-01-09T07:14:27Z")
Ugh, this is the second worst injury. I’ve done the zipper injury. Horrible. We won’t even speak of injuries involving razors and electric trimmers. /Why yes, I’ve done both. //And yes, there are areas more sensitive than the penis. Just a bit south. I speak from experience. ///Everything still works ---
**Author:** ![Jaledin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jaledin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaledin)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-slammed-the-toilet-seat-on-his-weiner/523143/48 "2011-01-09T07:49:24Z")
> [@GameHat](#): > > Ugh, this is the second worst injury. > > I’ve done the zipper injury. Horrible. > > We won’t even speak of injuries involving razors and electric trimmers. > > /Why yes, I’ve done both. > > //And yes, there are areas more sensitive than the penis. Just a bit south. I speak from experience. > > ///Everything still works None of this exists. Well, hardly any. Should have stopped at zipper. Even that one’s bad enough, as every guy or gal knows. (Or should know). Brain bleach statim! ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-slammed-the-toilet-seat-on-his-weiner/523143/49 "2011-01-09T12:09:55Z")
> [@garygnu](#): > > :eek: > > I’m glad I’m tall now. What does height have to do with anything? ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-slammed-the-toilet-seat-on-his-weiner/523143/50 "2011-01-09T12:57:48Z")
> [@Simmerdown](#): > > K > He did this once before. Now I have to go out and buy 3 slow-close toilet lids, just in case he hasn’t learned his lesson. Evolution in action. ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-slammed-the-toilet-seat-on-his-weiner/523143/51 "2011-01-09T13:21:43Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > What does height have to do with anything? I presume garygnu means he is now tall enough that he is no longer in danger of guillotining the little general if the lid slams shut. ---
**Author:** ![PapSett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@PapSett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PapSett)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-slammed-the-toilet-seat-on-his-weiner/523143/52 "2011-01-09T15:04:10Z")
> [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](#): > > I presume garygnu means he is now tall enough that he is no longer in danger of guillotining the little general if the lid slams shut. Unles he is verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry well endowed. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![spotthegerbil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@spotthegerbil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spotthegerbil)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-slammed-the-toilet-seat-on-his-weiner/523143/53 "2011-01-09T16:24:56Z")
To the OP… Your wee yin has my sympathies. Never done it myself, but was visiting a friend when her son did exactly the same thing. A couple of years ago had a motorbike crash. Motorbike fuel tank on one side, Spot and Mrs Gerbil on the other, my bits in the middle and 45mph of instant decelaration. Black bleeding grapefruit. compared to that, the broken collabone was painless. ---
**Author:** ![Daylate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9dc877/32.png) [@Daylate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daylate)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2011, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-slammed-the-toilet-seat-on-his-weiner/523143/54 "2011-01-10T00:22:29Z")
Old joke: Q. What’s got a thousand teeth and eats weenies? A. A zipper Still on subject, I read some years ago about a prevelant type of motorcycle injury with I think Harley-Davidsons, but could have the wrong brand. Anyway, the gas caps were on the top of the fuel tank, just in front of the rider, and in a crash the caps would sometimes spring open, in perfect position to render the rider a permanent soprano as he slammed forward. Happened more than once. ---
**Author:** ![Nunzio\_Tavulari](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Nunzio\_Tavulari](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nunzio_Tavulari)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2011, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-slammed-the-toilet-seat-on-his-weiner/523143/55 "2011-01-10T02:29:04Z")
Did I ever tell you about the time I was riding a go-kart styled pedal car down a very steep roadway? The front wheels were meant to steer and were freewheeling, while an exposed chain ran between my legs under the seat to power the rear wheels. Well, anyway, I hit a pothole and the go-kart stopped momentarily, while I submarined underneath the shroud. Once the vehicle cleared the pothole, the momentum of the rear wheels were able to keep everything moving. My pants definitely were not form-fitting, I assume I was meant to grown into them. Zippers aren’t nothing. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2011, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-slammed-the-toilet-seat-on-his-weiner/523143/56 "2011-01-10T04:39:37Z")
> [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](#): > > I presume garygnu means he is now tall enough that he is no longer in danger of guillotining the little general if the lid slams shut. Well then he should speak for himself. I mean, even tall adults can still have this problem 😃 ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2011, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-slammed-the-toilet-seat-on-his-weiner/523143/57 "2011-01-10T18:57:21Z")
> [@dhkendall](#): > > You know, if I, as a high school male, had to choose between having my mom see my junk, and having 2 girls flee the area at the mere mention that they might see my penis… Well they didn’t flee in terror at the mention of the word penis; they left because the school nurse said “You girls need to leave now because I need to examine his penis and remove the stinger”. Sorry if I gave a different impression. ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2011, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-slammed-the-toilet-seat-on-his-weiner/523143/58 "2011-01-10T19:46:36Z")
> [@China\_Guy](#): > > Man, I’m not saying this didn’t happen as Darwin is a conniving fucker even from the grave, but I am challenged to understand how someone taking a whiz could get stung by a bee or wasp on their Johnson???:smack: It’s just a little prick. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2011, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-slammed-the-toilet-seat-on-his-weiner/523143/59 "2011-01-10T20:38:29Z")
> [@alphaboi867](#): > > Wait until he has to take a piss outstide and get’s stung by a bee or a wasp on his penis. Never happened to me, but did happen to 2 friends of mine. Once was when he was at summer camp on a hiking trip, the other was during high school. It was during gym class and we were outdoors at the football flield. He needed to take a piss and the porta-potties were locked so our teacher had him go behind them and pee in the woods. He got stung by a wasp on his head. We practically had to carry him to the nurse’s office so she could examine his penis and remove the stringer. She cleared 2 girls out of the exam area _by saying exactly that_. Oh, and just to make things worse his mom worked over at the middle school (attached to high school) and the office called her and she came rushing over. Fortunaly our gym teacher managed to keep her in the waiting area of the nurse’s office until her son was able to get his pants back one. If they have to remove the stinger, it’s a bee. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2011, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-slammed-the-toilet-seat-on-his-weiner/523143/60 "2011-01-10T21:05:58Z")
I very nearly slammed my homeboy in a car door once by trying to get out and close the door as fast as I could. I did catch the crotch of my jeans in there, which in and of itself is the only good thing that ever came from the Giant Pants fad of the mid 90’s, because had I been wearing 2011 jeans I would have had to shoot myself on the spot to spare the suffering. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2011, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-slammed-the-toilet-seat-on-his-weiner/523143/61 "2011-01-10T21:18:33Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > Tell your boy that he needs to put away his toy before he slams anything. \>Chanelling Andre The Giant\< I think this means some boys think this means something different from what I think you think this means. 😁 Cartooniverse ---
**Author:** ![Simmerdown](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simmerdown/32/14859_2.png) [@Simmerdown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simmerdown)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2011, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-slammed-the-toilet-seat-on-his-weiner/523143/62 "2011-01-17T22:35:12Z")
Hadn’t seen that this old thread had been resurrected. I had hoped that my embarrassing misspelling in the title would be forever relegated to obscurity, but hey… I’m happy to say that since I last posted the lad has kept his, er, _wiener_ out of harm’s way, and has presumably understood the basic mechanics of the standard toilet seat. Unfortunately, he is quite content to test the limits of other parts of his body, not the least of which is his head which he, on one memorable occasion, introduced to a brick wall earning him a hematoma the size of a walnut. I just hope that each of these incidents translate into a learning experience that significantly cuts down on further experimentation. To those of you who are skeptical of the possibility, all I can say is I know what I saw and heard. The boy was so excited about all the workings of the wonderful grownup device that it was impossible to stop constant flurry of little hands yearning to flush and work the lid while still taking care of business. He’s gotten over it now. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-slammed-the-toilet-seat-on-his-weiner/523143.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kid-slammed-the-toilet-seat-on-his-weiner/523143.md?page=4)