# My Kids Saw Their First Pole Dancers Today **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 20, 2008, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kids-saw-their-first-pole-dancers-today/434265 "2008-01-20T16:10:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2008, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kids-saw-their-first-pole-dancers-today/434265/21 "2008-01-21T02:59:31Z")
Guys, you are really missing the point. The TRUE "oh crap!’ moment comes when the playground teacher approaches you and says “We need to talk about what Fessie Jr. was doing on the tetherball pole today…” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Oregon\_sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/50afbb/32.png) [@Oregon\_sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oregon_sunshine)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2008, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kids-saw-their-first-pole-dancers-today/434265/22 "2008-01-21T03:21:44Z")
Instead of complaining about what’s on it, turn off your tv already. For young kids it actually [harms their brain development](http://www.aap.org/advocacy/archives/augdis.htm) and isn’t much good for people after that, IMO. Enjoy the silence or listen to music, read a book. Then you’ll never have to worry about the kiddies seeing anything that outside, commercial interests are projecting. Problem solved. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2008, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kids-saw-their-first-pole-dancers-today/434265/23 "2008-01-21T03:24:47Z")
[QUOTE=Oregon sunshine] For young kids it actually [harms their brain development](http://www.aap.org/advocacy/archives/augdis.htm)… [/QUOTE] That study says nothing of the sort. ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2008, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kids-saw-their-first-pole-dancers-today/434265/24 "2008-01-21T03:53:39Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] Wait, pole dancers are bad, but an alcoholic, ex-drug addict singer’s just peachy? What’s next? That fifteen miliseconds of Janet Jackson bare teat during a football game are somehow worse than violent programming? I realize that I don’t have kids, but it seems to me that the consequences of playing with a loaded booby are a lot less than those associated with a loaded gun. [/QUOTE] I saw the story in question. It was about the AEN awards which are apparently the only awards that haven’t been cancelled. At one point the reporter asked one of the nominees if she was nervous about giving a speech. She said, “Yes! It’s funny, I can bend over and get BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP while BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP, and not think twice, but ask me to give a little speech and thank a few people and I’m a nervous wreck!” ---
**Author:** ![USCDiver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/uscdiver/32/354_2.png) [@USCDiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/USCDiver)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2008, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kids-saw-their-first-pole-dancers-today/434265/25 "2008-01-21T05:23:30Z")
[QUOTE=Q.E.D.] That study says nothing of the sort. [/QUOTE] Not only that, but it isn’t even a study, it’s a ‘Policy Statement’. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2008, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kids-saw-their-first-pole-dancers-today/434265/26 "2008-01-21T06:02:05Z")
You’re precisely right, of course; now that hunger, inequity and suffering have been dealt with, God really ought to deal with those evil Sunday morning network programming folks. > [@Q.E.D.](#): > > And what, exactly, do you think a four-year-old will make of such a thing? In what way do you think it will damage him to see it? That’s what I’ve always wondered. It’s just assumed that four-year-olds will be damaged for life if they ever accidentally see a pole dancer (or something) on TV. So far, I’ve yet to see a meaningful explanation of _why_. Of course, every mother on the Straight Dope will hate me now. C’est la vie. ---
**Author:** ![A\_Priori\_Tea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3bc359/32.png) [@A\_Priori\_Tea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A_Priori_Tea)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2008, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kids-saw-their-first-pole-dancers-today/434265/27 "2008-01-21T06:12:25Z")
Naked or partially naked women and men are not a threat to your children’s development. Nudity is not a harmful chemical. Boobs and butts and crotches will not impair the growth of any physical or emotional aspect of your children. Making them afraid and ashamed of their own bodies and others’, on the other hand, is definitely harmful, and will impair their ability to grow up into well-balanced, mature adults. These are things you will want to consider. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2008, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kids-saw-their-first-pole-dancers-today/434265/28 "2008-01-21T06:14:17Z")
While I’m not going to pop _Behind the Green Door_ into the VCR for my daughter to watch, she’s going to see things that are beyond her years. I take those opportunities to not make a big deal of it, but instead ask if she has any questions, and answer any that she has in a factual manner, with age appropriate information. Mebbe other parents think that’s a crappy method, but it worked with my siblings and me, so I’m continuing with what I was taught. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2008, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kids-saw-their-first-pole-dancers-today/434265/29 "2008-01-21T11:51:27Z")
[QUOTE=danceswithcats] I take those opportunities to not make a big deal of it, but instead ask if she has any questions, and answer any that she has in a factual manner, with age appropriate information. [/QUOTE] Agreed - it’s what I call a “teaching moment.” I was a wee bit befuzzled when I was trying to explain to my then-9-y/o what a lesbian is, mostly from trying to avoid the TMI line. I don’t think I’ve corrupted her indelibly - at least I hope not, because she’s in her last semester before earning her Elementary Teaching Certification. Oh no, wait! What have I done? Won’t someone think of the \*rest \* of the children??? :eek: Dare I hope that someday there will be a generation that is less uptight about things that really don’t matter? Dare I?? ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2008, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kids-saw-their-first-pole-dancers-today/434265/30 "2008-01-21T12:26:10Z")
[QUOTE=A Priori Tea] Naked or partially naked women and men are not a threat to your children’s development. Nudity is not a harmful chemical. Boobs and butts and crotches will not impair the growth of any physical or emotional aspect of your children. Making them afraid and ashamed of their own bodies and others’, on the other hand, is definitely harmful, and will impair their ability to grow up into well-balanced, mature adults. These are things you will want to consider. [/QUOTE] Bravo! Well said. ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2008, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kids-saw-their-first-pole-dancers-today/434265/31 "2008-01-21T13:38:13Z")
[QUOTE=Duck Duck Goose] … a dead-serious candidate for the presidency (have you noticed how not a single person has said something like, “Oh, look! A woman candidate for Prez! How cute!” … [/QUOTE] Christ Matthews has been saying that for months. Several different commentators and media outlets have speculated that women, the silly dears, voted for her in New Hampshire out of sympathy for being picked on. Seemingly serious news automatons have described a catch in her voice as a hysterical breakdown. Progress, yes. Still a culture of pervasive misogyny, yes. I’m not and will never be a parent, but I’m with **fessie** and **Alice the Goon**. A couple years ago I resolved to stop watching TV shows and movies with the obligatory strip club scene. Do you know how many shows that is?! ---
**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2008, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kids-saw-their-first-pole-dancers-today/434265/32 "2008-01-21T14:06:48Z")
It’s so interesting to read all the different directions you guys went in your replies. They’re all valid points. Since this was a snapshot moment in my house, I’ll go ahead and clarify: I don’t have a problem with nudity itself; I don’t know whether the pole dancers are pathetic and exploited or smart and wealthy; and I’m not pulling a Tipper over at the FCC. I turn things into “teaching moments” all the time, because I’m an older mom and who knows how long I’ll be around. Also because it’s fun. And I don’t think my kids suffered some kind of damage from their exposure (although **EJsGirl** is spot-on with the playground moment). What shocked me is _I didn’t expect to see Bill Geist in a titty bar at 10:00 in the a.m. on CBS’s **Sunday Morning** _! WTF?! What about all the senior citizens who watch that show, looking for something intelligent for real grown-ups to watch? Now I have to tune in next week and see what their mailbag yielded, I’ll betcha plenty of viewers were _not_ pleased (and the ones who were are unlikely to write about it). ---
**Author:** ![Sunrazor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sunrazor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunrazor)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2008, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kids-saw-their-first-pole-dancers-today/434265/33 "2008-01-21T14:42:57Z")
[QUOTE=saoirse] I saw the story in question. It was about the AEN awards which are apparently the only awards that haven’t been cancelled. [/QUOTE] There were two segments that are being confused here. The first one was Mo Rocca interviewing a pole dancer in Las Vegas about the Nevada caucuses. The other one, later in the show, was Bill Geist covering the AEN awards. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2008, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kids-saw-their-first-pole-dancers-today/434265/34 "2008-01-21T15:04:11Z")
[QUOTE=fessie] What shocked me is _I didn’t expect to see Bill Geist in a titty bar at 10:00 in the a.m. on CBS’s **Sunday Morning** _! WTF?! What about all the senior citizens who watch that show, looking for something intelligent for real grown-ups to watch? Now I have to tune in next week and see what their mailbag yielded, I’ll betcha plenty of viewers were _not_ pleased (and the ones who were are unlikely to write about it). [/QUOTE] OH! :smack: I see! It’s not about “think of the children”, it’s about sexually explicit stuff on morning shows being unusual. Yes, I agree that is a move against cultural norms, and quite startling, I expect. [Emily Litella] Nevermind! [/EL] ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2008, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kids-saw-their-first-pole-dancers-today/434265/35 "2008-01-21T15:04:58Z")
[QUOTE=FairyChatMom] I was a wee bit befuzzled when I was trying to explain to my then-9-y/o what a lesbian is, mostly from trying to avoid the TMI line. [/QUOTE] Yeah, I’m looking at that one square in the face. My 8 year old is starting to figure out that April & Lindsay aren’t just friends or roommates. I think I’ll just tell him they are married, although he seems pretty set that only boys and girls get married. They are also trying to get pregnant, which should be one hell of a teaching moment! 😃 All television isn’t bad. My kids grew up on PBS Kids, then moved up to Discovery, Science channel, etc. Sure, there is a bit of cartoon crapola creeping in lately, but as the parent I get to decide. Even my 5 year old can discuss nature, history, science and even evolution. It’s not that he’s a genius, it’s just what he’s been exposed to. I smiled proudly (on the inside) when he gave someone a blank look when they mentioned “Spongebob Squarepants!” ---
**Author:** ![furlibusea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@furlibusea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furlibusea)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2008, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kids-saw-their-first-pole-dancers-today/434265/36 "2008-01-21T15:18:48Z")
My grandfather used to say that when it came to censoring for children, if they didn’t understand it, they weren’t ready, and if they did, it was too late to censor. This seems to hold true up till you hit the point of child abuse. When I was about three someone came to the house and was appalled because my dad had Play Boy magazines. They went and got me and showed me the centerfold and asked me what she was doing. My response was that she was going to take a bath. My guess is, that if you ask your children what those ladies were doing you would get something equally innocent. If it isn’t, they have been exposed to something else that was innapropriate. ---
**Author:** ![Gus\_Gusterson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85f322/32.png) [@Gus\_Gusterson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gus_Gusterson)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2008, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kids-saw-their-first-pole-dancers-today/434265/37 "2008-01-21T15:57:44Z")
[QUOTE=EJsGirl] Yeah, I’m looking at that one square in the face. My 8 year old is starting to figure out that April & Lindsay aren’t just friends or roommates. I think I’ll just tell him they are married, although he seems pretty set that only boys and girls get married. They are also trying to get pregnant, which should be one hell of a teaching moment! 😃 [/QUOTE] I see no reason not to tell a kid that women can love women and men can love men just as they commonly see men and women in love. We live in Massachusetts, so when my daughter asked at age two whether women could marry women I just said, “Yes, of course they can. People can love whomever they choose.” But I don’t see why the same answer couldn’t or shouldn’t be used anywhere in the world. ---
**Author:** ![Oregon\_sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/50afbb/32.png) [@Oregon\_sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oregon_sunshine)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2008, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kids-saw-their-first-pole-dancers-today/434265/38 "2008-01-21T16:21:13Z")
Ok… jeez Q.E.D. [Here’s one.](http://autismconnect.org/news.asp?section=00010001&itemtype=news&id=5923) [More summaries of studies’ conclusions.](http://www.tvsmarter.com/documents/school.html) [Here’s another one.](http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/tv-will-stunt-young-brains-study/2005/10/03/1128191658833.html?from=moreStories) [Here’s another one.](http://www.news.com/8301-10784_3-9756504-7.html) Anyway, apologies for the previous weak evidence. Maybe this is enough for you? Also, anecdotally, TV makes adults fat, inactive, and brainwashed. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2008, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kids-saw-their-first-pole-dancers-today/434265/39 "2008-01-21T16:26:23Z")
[QUOTE=Q.E.D.] How delightfully fallacious of you. [/QUOTE] I am so stealing that. ---
**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2008, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kids-saw-their-first-pole-dancers-today/434265/40 "2008-01-21T16:34:26Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] OH! :smack: I see! It’s not about “think of the children”, it’s about sexually explicit stuff on morning shows being unusual. Yes, I agree that is a move against cultural norms, and quite startling, I expect. [Emily Litella] Nevermind! [/EL] [/QUOTE] Exactly! What’s next, Jenna Jameson on _The Actor’s Studio_? It is funny, the stuff you have to stop watching around the kids. Like _America’s Funniest Home Videos_. There’s no explaining to my kids why it’s funny to see people doing the exact things I’m always trying to _prevent_ them from doing. Clothes falling off, kids tripping, things spilling, fathers getting whacked in the crotch. My daughter looked at me like I’d lost my mind as I sat there laughing. Had to turn it off. Those teaching moments blow up on you sometimes, too – there was the time I was using a handful of salt and a few flakes of pepper to illustrate “stranger danger” (“See, most people are _good_, but a few of them are _bad_ and you might run in to one of **them** next time you dash away from me at the museum and disappear into the basement to look at the trains.”) and gave them a lesson on racism instead. My ds couldn’t wait to tell my Aunt about how “the white people are good, and the black people are bad”. :eek: So I got out the oregano and a few pieces of rock salt – “See all those good people, in all those wonderful shades of brown?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kids-saw-their-first-pole-dancers-today/434265.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kids-saw-their-first-pole-dancers-today/434265.md?page=3)