# My kingdom for a bottle opener. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 26, 2009, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kingdom-for-a-bottle-opener/497636 "2009-05-26T01:13:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2009, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kingdom-for-a-bottle-opener/497636/21 "2009-05-26T05:27:10Z")
Hm, I’ve used various things to wedge them open, but I can’t think what all precisely. A nail might be a good choice. Get it up into one of the folds and lever it up and out. You’ll have to do this in several places all around it, but eventually you’ll be able to pull it free with your hand. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2009, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kingdom-for-a-bottle-opener/497636/22 "2009-05-26T10:13:30Z")
I’ve used house keys. It takes a little effort, but you can pry open a bottle by going around the rim prying a little of the edge at a time. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2009, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kingdom-for-a-bottle-opener/497636/23 "2009-05-26T13:07:29Z")
I have seen folks open them with their eye socket. It is not pretty- wouldn’t recommend teeth- you can lose quite a few. ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2009, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kingdom-for-a-bottle-opener/497636/24 "2009-05-26T14:11:34Z")
> [@Cicero](#): > > I have seen folks open them with their eye socket. What is this, “I can beat your story?” I once saw a guy use his urethra to open a bottle. Joe ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2009, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kingdom-for-a-bottle-opener/497636/25 "2009-05-26T14:27:40Z")
> [@bouv](#): > > I’ve opened bottles with my teeth on occasions…and not screw top ones, either. Well, _duh_ dude…if they were screwtop, you wouldn’t need to open them with yer’ teeth would you?? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![BlueKangaroo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@BlueKangaroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlueKangaroo)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2009, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kingdom-for-a-bottle-opener/497636/26 "2009-05-26T15:21:42Z")
I love this place. As I mentioned previously, I got it open with the tines of a fork. Like others mentioned with other tools, I just stuck it under several points on the cap until it pried off. That said, tonight I’m taking the other five bottles to **WhyNot’s** house, and I’m sure she and I will be experimenting with all sorts of things to prevent this tragedy from happening again. I will not ever be motivated enough to open a bottle with my teeth, my eye socket, my urethra or any other pieces of my nether regions. I will, however, be motivated to quickly unpack my leatherman (not sure why it’s not in my purse or my backpack), the keychain bottle opener that lives in the bottom of my backpack that I never have used or even needed before last night (where did you go, little guy?) and my waiters’ wine key that I tore open four boxes to find with no luck (why didn’t I find it, I ask as I remember packing it). ---
**Author:** ![Casserole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b77776/32.png) [@Casserole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casserole)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2009, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kingdom-for-a-bottle-opener/497636/27 "2009-05-26T15:39:23Z")
Or! You could do like us Canadians and buy the Strongbows in the can with the pop tab 🙂 (Actually, I don’t think it’s a Canadian thing… perhaps I’m just more accustomed to seeing the can form… I’ve actually only seen the bottle-type once) ---
**Author:** ![JFLuvly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ac91a4/32.png) [@JFLuvly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JFLuvly)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2009, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kingdom-for-a-bottle-opener/497636/28 "2009-05-26T15:46:58Z")
The handle end of a spoon or fork using the same method as in the dollar bill video. My favorite method is to use the handle of the kitchen drawyer doors, if it is the type with two screws holding the handle on you can just pop the top the same way you would with a wall mounted bottle opener. ---
**Author:** ![BlueKangaroo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@BlueKangaroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlueKangaroo)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2009, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kingdom-for-a-bottle-opener/497636/29 "2009-05-26T16:18:20Z")
> [@Casserole](#): > > Or! You could do like us Canadians and buy the Strongbows in the can with the pop tab 🙂 > > (Actually, I don’t think it’s a Canadian thing… perhaps I’m just more accustomed to seeing the can form… I’ve actually only seen the bottle-type once) Mostly I see bottles here in the states, though one place near my school sells four packs of cans. Unfortunately, the cans are four units (~16 floz each) for $11.99 vs the bottles being six units (12 floz each) for $8.99. I care more about the number of units than the number of ounces in a unit, so the bottles work out to be a much better deal for me. ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2009, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kingdom-for-a-bottle-opener/497636/30 "2009-05-26T17:19:03Z")
You got teeth, right? Well, then you have a bottle opener. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2009, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kingdom-for-a-bottle-opener/497636/31 "2009-05-26T17:26:32Z")
> [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](#): > > You got teeth, right? Well, then you have a bottle opener. You moonlight for a dentist or somethin’? Ouch! ---
**Author:** ![Basandre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@Basandre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Basandre)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2009, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kingdom-for-a-bottle-opener/497636/32 "2009-05-26T20:50:14Z")
Anybody know of any slick replacement for a can opener? I own at least two normal, ordinary can openers and somehow they’re both missing and the only one I can find is a stupid little camping/space-saving can-not-opener like this : [http://www.amazon.com/Ecko-Mini-Compact-Can-Opener/dp/B001V9M9EO/ref=sr\_1\_45?ie=UTF8&s=kitchen&qid=1243370660&sr=1-45](http://www.amazon.com/Ecko-Mini-Compact-Can-Opener/dp/B001V9M9EO/ref=sr_1_45?ie=UTF8&s=kitchen&qid=1243370660&sr=1-45) I think a hammer and chisel would be preferable (though messy). ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2009, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kingdom-for-a-bottle-opener/497636/33 "2009-05-26T20:54:37Z")
> [@iwakura43](#): > > Use a [dollar bill](http://www.metacafe.com/watch/460195/open_beer_with_one_dollar_bill_college_survival_101/) Pretty nifty. What is that guy’s accent? Bostonian with a dash of Irish? Broolyn with a bit of Something? WHAT IS IT??? Someone end my misery. ---
**Author:** ![Basandre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@Basandre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Basandre)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2009, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kingdom-for-a-bottle-opener/497636/34 "2009-05-26T21:01:06Z")
I forgot to mention, I’m really not looking for suggestions on different kinds of can openers. If I’m going to buy a new opener, it’ll be a normal one. It’s just that I’m hoping to be able to make do until I find one of the ones I already own, instead of buying a third. ---
**Author:** ![butler1850](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@butler1850](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butler1850)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2009, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kingdom-for-a-bottle-opener/497636/35 "2009-05-26T21:09:07Z")
> [@Basandre](#): > > I forgot to mention, I’m really not looking for suggestions on different kinds of can openers. If I’m going to buy a new opener, it’ll be a normal one. It’s just that I’m hoping to be able to make do until I find one of the ones I already own, instead of buying a third. Check out any pocket knives you may have. Most of them have a can/bottle opener. If it has one, it has a sharp-ish edge on one side of a hooked blade. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2009, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kingdom-for-a-bottle-opener/497636/36 "2009-05-26T21:16:22Z")
A spoon can open a bottle much the same way a disposable lighter can. Grab bottle in fist just under cap; rest back of spoon against knuckles with tip under edge of cap; hold spoon at base of handle and lever it down. Glug glug glug. ---
**Author:** ![UncleNito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7cd45c/32.png) [@UncleNito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleNito)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2009, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kingdom-for-a-bottle-opener/497636/37 "2009-05-26T21:50:39Z")
> [@Shirley\_Ujest](#): > > Someone end my misery. **QED** already did. The bang-it-on-the-counter technique looks impossible in the movies, but it’s quite easy. The key is to find a hard corner on the counter surface, then hold the bottle so that the edge of the cap “catches” on it. Pull down just a little bit, enough to put some pressure on the cap and hold it in place but not so much the cap slips off the corner. Then just give the top of the cap a nice solid whack with your other hand. That technique has made me look like a badass more than once, and it can do the same for you 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2009, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kingdom-for-a-bottle-opener/497636/38 "2009-05-27T00:27:36Z")
I’ve used my belt buckle on occasion. Works great. ---
**Author:** ![BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2009, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kingdom-for-a-bottle-opener/497636/39 "2009-05-27T00:36:36Z")
> [@UncleNito](#): > > **QED** already did. The bang-it-on-the-counter technique looks impossible in the movies, but it’s quite easy. It is quite easy, but I wouldn’t do it to any surface I care about; it’s too easy to scratch or dent or chip the surface. Although that remains my favorite method, a safer alternative is to use a [lighter](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ieK3_X6Vc5c) (or reasonable analogue-- I think someone upthread recommended a butter knife. I’d suggest using the handle). Teeth work, but a) it’s unpleasant (unless you like chewing on metal) and b) it only takes one time slipping and you’ve scratched enamel or chipped your tooth. Not worth it IMO. kids these days, not knowing about the many wondrous ways of accessing beer… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![dbygawdcapn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dbygawdcapn/32/3995_2.png) [@dbygawdcapn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dbygawdcapn)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2009, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kingdom-for-a-bottle-opener/497636/40 "2009-05-27T02:41:29Z")
Do you wear a ring? I have a friend who uses his wedding ring to open beer bottles. I’m pretty sure that was his entire reasoning to get married. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kingdom-for-a-bottle-opener/497636.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kingdom-for-a-bottle-opener/497636.md?page=3)