# My kitty beat me up! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 3, 2006, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kitty-beat-me-up/367138 "2006-08-03T03:01:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kitty-beat-me-up/367138/1 "2006-08-03T03:01:16Z")
I was walking down the hallway in my apartment, when suddenly, WHAM! Nine pounds of kitty flying at a significant fraction of the speed of sound (if not of light) hit me in the ankle. It felt like getting kicked in the shin. Owwww. I think I might put up some kitty speed bumps in the hall… ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kitty-beat-me-up/367138/2 "2006-08-03T03:04:33Z")
You’ve been around long enough to know you’re supposed to provide a photo of the aforementioned Evil Kitty. Another violation of this policy will not be tolerated. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kitty-beat-me-up/367138/3 "2006-08-03T04:34:32Z")
My daughter’s cat used to body slam her as she emerged from the hallway. There’s a great ambushing spot there. He’d wrestle with her too. He was an only cat at the time. Now that we have provided him with two other cats, he wrestles with them. And they wrestle back. There’s a great deal of ambushing and chasing that goes on in this household, as well as a great deal of sitting in boxes. ---
**Author:** ![Enter\_the\_Flagon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Enter\_the\_Flagon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enter_the_Flagon)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kitty-beat-me-up/367138/4 "2006-08-03T04:44:34Z")
This is why, when I come home from work, I always tie some metal trash can lids to my shins. They’re noisy and bit uncomfortable for sleeping, but when the cat runs into them face first - WHAMMO! Just like in the cartoons. So overall, the benefits outweigh the costs. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kitty-beat-me-up/367138/5 "2006-08-03T04:56:55Z")
[QUOTE=Lissa] You’ve been around long enough to know you’re supposed to provide a photo of the aforementioned Evil Kitty. Another violation of this policy will not be tolerated. [/QUOTE] [Katya is the one on the right](http://www1.snapfish.com/slideshow/AlbumID=48166258/PictureID=1465330437/a=59019793_59019793/t_=59019793). ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kitty-beat-me-up/367138/6 "2006-08-03T06:39:03Z")
She looks like she’s about to ambush you in that photo! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kitty-beat-me-up/367138/7 "2006-08-03T12:29:55Z")
I had a cat, Dorothy, who used to ball up her little fist and punch me in the nose sometimes. _Hard_, too! ---
**Author:** ![Twinkie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@Twinkie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Twinkie)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kitty-beat-me-up/367138/8 "2006-08-03T12:59:13Z")
My cat used to hide under the bed and _wait_. I’d be walking around, getting ready to go to sleep, and still she’d _wait_. Just as I was about to get into bed, she’d leap out, grab me around the ankle with both her little paws, and bite my foot. She wouldn’t do this every night. She’d wait long enough between attacks so I’d let my guard down, to acheive maximum scare each time. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-kitty-beat-me-up/367138/9 "2006-08-03T13:20:21Z")
[QUOTE=Anne Neville] I think I might put up some kitty speed bumps in the hall… [/QUOTE] Over which you will doubtless trip in the dead of night and the fog of half-sleep. Six of one, half-dozen of the other, really. In general it has been my experience that cats take perverse pleasure in causing pain and feigning complete innocence about doing so, including but not limited to: - Using one’s appendages as climbing aparatus - Knowing exactly where to place their claws so as to cause the most pain when they begin to knead - Using one’s crotch (in my case) or boobs (in my wife’s case) as a launch pad - Using one’s crotch (in my case) or boobs (in my wife’s case) as a landing pad - Considering the hand a strategically advantageous location from which to ambush the shoelace But y’know, we love 'em anyway.