# My language arts professor **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 15, 2006, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-language-arts-professor/344706 "2006-02-15T22:51:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2006, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-language-arts-professor/344706/1 "2006-02-15T22:51:46Z")
I’m taking classes to become an elementary school teacher. One of the classes I’m taking is Language Arts: I should be learning in the class how to teach children to read, write, listen, speak, and otherwise become proficient users of language. It’s a very important class, I think: we should be reading linguistics, developmental psychology, the writings of the great pedagogues, and so forth. Here are the things I’ve learned in the class from the professor: -In the word “dog,” the morpheme is “og.” -In the verb “record,” the stress is on the first syllable. -When “vt” appears in a dictionary after a word like “befoul,” it stands for “verb transitive.” -In the word “beforehand,” the “o” makes the sound represented by the schwa. All of these are horribly wrong, and they’re just a small sample. I suspect that many students will leave her class more ignorant than when they entered. But today she took the cake, stomped on it, smeared it in my hair, and cackled like a demon. She was teaching about traits of good writing, and moved to the subject of vocabulary. So far, so good: certainly proficient writers wield the language with skill and precision and have a wide arsenal from which to choose. She explained it thus (and this is a quote): “Wordsmithery: it’s an acronym for choosing the right word at the right time.” Y’all are wondering what’s wrong with our educational system? I got an idea. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Tevildo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Tevildo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tevildo)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2006, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-language-arts-professor/344706/2 "2006-02-15T23:01:25Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > -When “vt” appears in a dictionary after a word like “befoul,” it stands for “verb transitive.” Err - it does. What do you think it stands for? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2006, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-language-arts-professor/344706/3 "2006-02-15T23:05:17Z")
> [@Tevildo](#): > > Err - it does. What do you think it stands for? 🙂 Seconded, according to the “Explanatory Notes” (p. 15a, section 3.2) of Merriam-Webster’s Third Unabridged. ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2006, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-language-arts-professor/344706/4 "2006-02-15T23:20:06Z")
> [@Tevildo](#): > > Err - it does. What do you think it stands for? 🙂 Vermont. They need to change their state slogan. ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2006, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-language-arts-professor/344706/5 "2006-02-15T23:41:59Z")
Thirded, or fourthed. Whatever we’re up to now. There is an awful lot of truthiness in what she’s teaching you otherwise, though. WORDSMITHING Words, Originally Rather Declassé, Subsituted Mit Ah the hell with it. Anyway, rather laughable, yes. ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2006, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-language-arts-professor/344706/6 "2006-02-15T23:46:21Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > “Wordsmithery: it’s an acronym for choosing the right word at the right time.” Sorry, I just wanted to be sure this was real. Worst. Despair-at-state-of-existence. Ever. ---
**Author:** ![aurelian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f4b2a3/32.png) [@aurelian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aurelian)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2006, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-language-arts-professor/344706/7 "2006-02-16T00:09:46Z")
This reminds me of a crazy professor I had in undergraduate. The Spanish word for “English/ Englishman” is _inglés_ (note the accent). The word _ingle(s)_ (no accent) means “inner thigh/ crotch”. The similarity (according to crazy prof) was because English soldiers raped women a lot, so the word for “crotch” was applied to “Englishman”. The Spanish word for “Germany” is _Alemania_. The Spanish word for “wild beast” is _alimaña_, so clearly, the Spanish thought the Germans to be savage barbarians and named the country accordingly. This is all complete bullshit. In graduate school, I almost sent my linguistics professor into hysterics when I asked him if these “etymologies” were true. My sympathies, **LHOD**. ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2006, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-language-arts-professor/344706/8 "2006-02-16T00:34:07Z")
**aurelian,** it sounds like he was having you on there. These really sound like the Etymology section in _Without Feathers._ ---
**Author:** ![DanBlather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f4b2a3/32.png) [@DanBlather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DanBlather)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2006, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-language-arts-professor/344706/9 "2006-02-16T01:20:42Z")
With Only Really Dumb Students Might I Teach Here. Even Retards, Yes? (I apologize for the R word) ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2006, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-language-arts-professor/344706/10 "2006-02-16T01:50:27Z")
You need to beat a path to the door of the Dean of Academics. You may also want to consider taking a tape recorder to class. Most professors will grant permission to tape lectures. When I was teaching, I once had to sit through an inservice meeting in which a college professor claimed that _automobile_ was a compound noun – even after she was challenged by a group of high school language arts teachers. ---
**Author:** ![TJdude825](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@TJdude825](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TJdude825)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2006, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-language-arts-professor/344706/11 "2006-02-16T03:14:46Z")
I agree on the “vt.” thing. I never actually checked but I always assumed it meant “transitive verb” and the v came first either because the fact that it was a verb was more important than the fact that it was transitive, or because the abbreviation came from Latin or something. I’m a senior in high school, months from graduation. If I don’t know what you mean by “morpheme,” is that a terribly bad thing? I agree with **Zoe** about the tape recorder, and I sincerely hope the teacher doesn’t forbid them. If they do, keep a piece of paper next to you in class at all times, and jot down verbatim anything relevant. My favorite story is my biology teacher claiming that when water boils, the hydrogen and oxygen separate. Also notable was a group of students (not a teacher, although the teacher didn’t correct them) claiming, “This is the flag of Africa.” ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2006, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-language-arts-professor/344706/12 "2006-02-16T03:21:10Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > She explained it thus (and this is a quote): “Wordsmithery: it’s an acronym for choosing the right word at the right time.” Wouldn’t that be CTRWATRT? ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2006, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-language-arts-professor/344706/13 "2006-02-16T03:50:31Z")
> [@Tevildo](#): > > Err - it does. What do you think it stands for? 🙂 :smack: I am an idiot–some sort of meta-Gaudere’s Law has struck me. She asked a student what it stood for. He guessed, “verb tense?” and she agreed, pointing out that “befouled, -ing” followed and that these were examples of verb tenses. It does, of course, stand for “verb transitive”: I just got my mental wires crossed when recounting the story. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2006, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-language-arts-professor/344706/14 "2006-02-16T03:57:52Z")
> [@TJdude825](#): > > I’m a senior in high school, months from graduation. If I don’t know what you mean by “morpheme,” is that a terribly bad thing? Naw, you don’t really need to know what a morpheme is, although it’s an interesting concept. She, however, needs to know what one is, because: 1. She’s teaching people about language arts, and it’s an important concept for language arts pedagogy; and 2. She’s telling people what it means. For the record, a morpheme is the smallest unit of meaning in a word (that’s a very rough definition). Stephen Pinker uses the example of “unmicrowavability,” a word with four morphemes: un, micro, wave, and ability. (I wonder whether “ability” could be further divided into “able” and “ity,” but I’m not sure). She even told us, in this case, that people had changed what it meant since she was in school and acknowledged that modern authors didn’t always agree that “og” was the morpheme is “dog.” I looked it up later: the word was invented in, I believe, the nineteenth century, and it’s not changed from its original meaning. I’m not likely to take a tape recorder to class. I am, however, keeping a record of the ridiculous things she tells us. I keep thinking, “I’m paying money for THIS? I’ve cut my work hours and wages back to attend THIS?” I thought the literature professor at my last school (who interrupted us literally every three minutes while we read out-of-context sections of a text of phonetics so that we could **draw pictures** of the abstract academic concepts we were reading about) was awful, but she was Maria Freakin Montessori compared to this lady. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2006, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-language-arts-professor/344706/15 "2006-02-16T04:15:58Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > For the record, a morpheme is the smallest unit of meaning in a word (that’s a very rough definition). Stephen Pinker uses the example of “unmicrowavability,” a word with four morphemes: un, micro, wave, and ability. (I wonder whether “ability” could be further divided into “able” and “ity,” but I’m not sure). She even told us, in this case, that people had changed what it meant since she was in school and acknowledged that modern authors didn’t always agree that “og” was the morpheme is “dog.” I looked it up later: the word was invented in, I believe, the nineteenth century, and it’s not changed from its original meaning. Maybe she’s saying they changed the meaning of the word “dog” since she was in school. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2006, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-language-arts-professor/344706/16 "2006-02-16T04:17:30Z")
> [@Zoe](#): > > When I was teaching, I once had to sit through an inservice meeting in which a college professor claimed that _automobile_ was a compound noun – even after she was challenged by a group of high school language arts teachers. But it _is_ a compound noun! It breaks down as follows: _aut_ = word; _omobile_ = that I don’t know how to take apart. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![JustAnotherGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/58f4c7/32.png) [@JustAnotherGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustAnotherGeek)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2006, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-language-arts-professor/344706/17 "2006-02-16T05:03:39Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > Y’all are wondering what’s wrong with our educational system? I got an idea. Which is why, to date, I have taken no “education” courses whatsoever. From everything that I have heard from my colleagues, education professors seem to be the only group that can make science/engineering professors look like they can teach. I also think like you, in that I wholeheartedly believe that there really could be useful education courses. I have yet to hear anything about them, though. I think that this kind of thing gives us the next line in the saying: > [@](#): > > Those who can, do. > Those who can’t, teach. > Those who can’t teach, teach gym. > _Those who can’t teach gym, teach pedagogy._ **LHoD** , if I could presume to offer you some advice, I would say that you should place every course you take into two categories: useful and bullshit. Sadly, you’ll find too many in the wrong category, but at least you won’t worry about trying to gain anything useful from them. Again, good luck in your persuit. -Geek ---
**Author:** ![Rhubarb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/59ef9b/32.png) [@Rhubarb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhubarb)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2006, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-language-arts-professor/344706/18 "2006-02-16T05:31:07Z")
> [@JustAnotherGeek](#): > > I think that this kind of thing gives us the next line in the saying: > Those who can, do. > Those who can’t, teach. > Those who can’t teach, teach gym. > Those who can’t teach gym, teach pedagogy. I’ve always heard it as > [@](#): > > Those who can, do. > Those who can’t, teach. > Those who can’t teach, administrate. > Those who can’t administrate run for public office. **LHoD** , sounds like your instructor should be (re-)taking the class rather than teaching it. The real question for me, were I in your place, is whether she is representative of instructors for this type of class. If no, she should be reported to her department head. If yes, then “Houston, we have a problem.” ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2006, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-language-arts-professor/344706/19 "2006-02-16T05:42:24Z")
[hijack] Go, now, to the library or a bookstore and get Jasper Fforde’s series of books about Thursday Next. The first is _The Eyre Affair_. By the time you get to the third, _The Well of Lost Plots_, you will know everything about the English language that there is to know. And laugh yourself silly.[/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![thursday\_next](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8797f3/32.png) [@thursday\_next](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thursday_next)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2006, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-language-arts-professor/344706/20 "2006-02-16T05:46:10Z")
I support **Dex’s** idea. 😛 Sorry about the icky prof, **LHOD**. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-language-arts-professor/344706.md?page=2)