# My leg came off and there's blood spurting out in jets, any advice?(ASAP!) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 21, 2008, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-leg-came-off-and-theres-blood-spurting-out-in-jets-any-advice-asap/438609 "2008-02-21T20:13:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Mrs.Cake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mrs.Cake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Cake)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-leg-came-off-and-theres-blood-spurting-out-in-jets-any-advice-asap/438609/41 "2008-02-21T21:42:58Z")
My eye doesn’t want to go back in the socket - should I use a teaspoon or tablespoon? Oops! Cut off two fingers with the table saw! How long can I keep trying to induce the dog to vomit before there’s no point anymore? Cupcake’s been in the antifreeze (again!). If I give him a charcoal bricquet to chew on, will that take care of him until we can get in to see his regular doctor next week? ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-leg-came-off-and-theres-blood-spurting-out-in-jets-any-advice-asap/438609/42 "2008-02-21T21:43:04Z")
[QUOTE=bannerrefugee] The voice in my head instructed me to jump of this 13 floor ledge I am standing on. Should I ask for a second opinion? [/QUOTE] Mine told me to assasinate the Prime Minsiter. Anyone know where he lives? ---
**Author:** ![Flander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8c91f0/32.png) [@Flander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flander)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-leg-came-off-and-theres-blood-spurting-out-in-jets-any-advice-asap/438609/43 "2008-02-21T21:46:22Z")
[QUOTE=maggenpye] To stop bleeding of the femoral artery, is it better to apply direct pressure or a tourniquet? [/QUOTE] Same question, but carotid artery. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-leg-came-off-and-theres-blood-spurting-out-in-jets-any-advice-asap/438609/44 "2008-02-21T21:48:36Z")
Are humans kosher? ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-leg-came-off-and-theres-blood-spurting-out-in-jets-any-advice-asap/438609/45 "2008-02-21T21:48:53Z")
PIT THREAD: Why Can’t the Armed Burglar Currently Assaulting My Wife Learn to Bathe and Speak English? ---
**Author:** ![bannerrefugee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c68b51/32.png) [@bannerrefugee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bannerrefugee)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-leg-came-off-and-theres-blood-spurting-out-in-jets-any-advice-asap/438609/46 "2008-02-21T21:49:40Z")
[QUOTE=Lobsang] Mine told me to assasinate the Prime Minsiter. Anyone know where he lives? [/QUOTE] If you call 911 they can tell you. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-leg-came-off-and-theres-blood-spurting-out-in-jets-any-advice-asap/438609/47 "2008-02-21T21:57:56Z")
[QUOTE=Projammer] Are humans kosher? [/QUOTE] Only the ones with the cloven hooves. And a related question: I can still change my mind as long as I do it before the blood on the contract dries, can’t I? ---
**Author:** ![JSexton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/96bed5/32.png) [@JSexton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JSexton)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-leg-came-off-and-theres-blood-spurting-out-in-jets-any-advice-asap/438609/48 "2008-02-21T21:58:45Z")
posting from my smrtphone so plz xcuse any tpyos people stopping fast in front of me must stpo bttr to pump brakes or apply stedy prshure? kthxbai ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-leg-came-off-and-theres-blood-spurting-out-in-jets-any-advice-asap/438609/49 "2008-02-21T22:01:29Z")
[QUOTE=maggenpye] To stop bleeding of the femoral artery, is it better to apply direct pressure or a tourniquet? [/QUOTE] Tourniquet. Around your neck. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-leg-came-off-and-theres-blood-spurting-out-in-jets-any-advice-asap/438609/50 "2008-02-21T22:06:47Z")
narm narm narm narm ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-leg-came-off-and-theres-blood-spurting-out-in-jets-any-advice-asap/438609/51 "2008-02-21T22:14:53Z")
How big does a meth lab fire need to be before you call the fire department? Also, will they turn around and call the police? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-leg-came-off-and-theres-blood-spurting-out-in-jets-any-advice-asap/438609/52 "2008-02-21T22:14:59Z")
There’s a weird looking guy in the street with a hockey mask and a big knife - do you think I should go downstairs and lock the door in a minute? ---
**Author:** ![Labelless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f19dbf/32.png) [@Labelless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labelless)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-leg-came-off-and-theres-blood-spurting-out-in-jets-any-advice-asap/438609/53 "2008-02-21T22:16:28Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] There’s a weird looking guy in the street with a hockey mask and a big knife - do you think I should go downstairs and lock the door in a minute? [/QUOTE] Wait. Have sex first. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-leg-came-off-and-theres-blood-spurting-out-in-jets-any-advice-asap/438609/54 "2008-02-21T22:20:12Z")
[QUOTE=Labelless] Wait. Have sex first. [/QUOTE] And have a few beers or cocktails to calm your nerves. That ALWAYS helps in these situations. ---
**Author:** ![bannerrefugee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c68b51/32.png) [@bannerrefugee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bannerrefugee)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-leg-came-off-and-theres-blood-spurting-out-in-jets-any-advice-asap/438609/55 "2008-02-21T22:21:26Z")
My leg came off and there’s blood spurting out in jets, any advice about how to clean the stains of the carpets, and the furniture—and the walls— oh and also the ceiling? ---
**Author:** ![Labelless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f19dbf/32.png) [@Labelless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labelless)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-leg-came-off-and-theres-blood-spurting-out-in-jets-any-advice-asap/438609/56 "2008-02-21T22:27:26Z")
[QUOTE=Antinor01] And have a few beers or cocktails to calm your nerves. That ALWAYS helps in these situations. [/QUOTE] Don’t forget the basement. **bannerrefugee** , What color are the walls and carpet? ---
**Author:** ![bannerrefugee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c68b51/32.png) [@bannerrefugee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bannerrefugee)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-leg-came-off-and-theres-blood-spurting-out-in-jets-any-advice-asap/438609/57 "2008-02-21T22:33:02Z")
[QUOTE=Labelless] **bannerrefugee** , What color are the walls and carpet? [/QUOTE] You do mean before my leg got caught in the industrial paper shredder or after? I’m thinking steam cleaning but it might be hard to push the cleaner with only one leg. What do you think? ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-leg-came-off-and-theres-blood-spurting-out-in-jets-any-advice-asap/438609/58 "2008-02-21T22:36:27Z")
[QUOTE=bannerrefugee] I’m thinking steam cleaning but it might be hard to push the cleaner with only one leg. What do you think? [/QUOTE] Have you thought of cutting off the other leg, so that you will be balanced relative to the steam cleaner? Oh, and for future reference, a burgundy-coloured carpet will tend not to show up blood stains. But that would definitely be the wrong colour for the walls and ceilings. ---
**Author:** ![Labelless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f19dbf/32.png) [@Labelless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labelless)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-leg-came-off-and-theres-blood-spurting-out-in-jets-any-advice-asap/438609/59 "2008-02-21T22:36:39Z")
[QUOTE=bannerrefugee] You do mean before my leg got caught in the industrial paper shredder or after? I’m thinking steam cleaning but it might be hard to push the cleaner with only one leg. What do you think? [/QUOTE] Before. I can pretty much guess that they have an interesting glaze on them now. If you’re having problems with the steam cleaner, you could always hook a hose up to your faucet and spray everything down. I know when I’m stressed about things a nice long hot bath makes it allright. You could do that first… ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-leg-came-off-and-theres-blood-spurting-out-in-jets-any-advice-asap/438609/60 "2008-02-21T22:37:30Z")
[QUOTE=bannerrefugee] You do mean before my leg got caught in the industrial paper shredder or after? I’m thinking steam cleaning but it might be hard to push the cleaner with only one leg. What do you think? [/QUOTE] Suddenly the letter between q and e doesn’t //ork because of all the blood… //hat do I do? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-leg-came-off-and-theres-blood-spurting-out-in-jets-any-advice-asap/438609.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-leg-came-off-and-theres-blood-spurting-out-in-jets-any-advice-asap/438609.md?page=4)