# My life is now complete, or More insanity from Jack Chick **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 4, 2003, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-life-is-now-complete-or-more-insanity-from-jack-chick/179682 "2003-06-04T20:07:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-life-is-now-complete-or-more-insanity-from-jack-chick/179682/61 "2003-06-05T04:42:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Diogenes the Cynic \* > \*\*:eek: The Antichrist will be Rob Halford! \*\* Well, duh! Second laugh-out-loud funny thing I’ve read today… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-life-is-now-complete-or-more-insanity-from-jack-chick/179682/62 "2003-06-05T08:11:39Z")
If Rob is the Antichrist, what is Ripper Owens supposed to be? ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 8:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-life-is-now-complete-or-more-insanity-from-jack-chick/179682/63 "2003-06-05T08:16:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SpazCat \* > \*\*Ben Murphy.😃 \*\* He’s as elusive as Roger Denby! The tract convinced me that Jack Chick is not the right artist to depict the Rapture. It ought to be Chuck Jones. I picture Wile E. Coyote getting raptured, but not realizing it right away. He continues to walk off the edge of the cliff – and then when he sees what he’s doing, he suddenly jets _up_ into heaven. Meanwhile, Daffy Duck gets raptured but on the way up he keeps getting flattened by jets, satellites and bald eagles. Bugs tells him “you were supposed to file a flight plan” and Daffy zooms out of sight yelling “I didn’t knooooooooooooow!” ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-life-is-now-complete-or-more-insanity-from-jack-chick/179682/64 "2003-06-05T08:24:17Z")
Or: “I never kneeeeeeeeeew.” ---
**Author:** ![istara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e79b87/32.png) [@istara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/istara)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-life-is-now-complete-or-more-insanity-from-jack-chick/179682/65 "2003-06-05T10:11:35Z")
The thing I find the greatest abomination against God in that cartoon is the execrably awful artwork. ---
**Author:** ![Elenfair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cc9497/32.png) [@Elenfair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elenfair)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-life-is-now-complete-or-more-insanity-from-jack-chick/179682/66 "2003-06-05T12:49:19Z")
Translated, as best as possible, from a Yvon Deschamps monologue (french Canadian humorist): “We had to murder them, strangle them, burn them, disembowl them, tear their bodies apart, kill them by the thousands and thousands and STILL THEY WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND THAT CHRISTIANITY IS THE RELIGION OF LOVE, DAMNIT! It’s not that hard to understand!” Yeah. Pooooooor Mr. Chick… he… never knewwwwww… ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-life-is-now-complete-or-more-insanity-from-jack-chick/179682/67 "2003-06-05T12:53:31Z")
Guyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyzzz…I wish you’d include panel numbers with your comments! I had to go through the whole thing twice before I figured out who “Fang” was! On that note, check out Bob’s robe in panel 7. What was the name of that character Christopher Walken used to do on SNL—The Continental, something like that? And I love the last panel. “ACT NOW! Accept Jesus within the next thirty minutes and get a free Ronco nutmeg soother! Operators are standing by!” ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-life-is-now-complete-or-more-insanity-from-jack-chick/179682/68 "2003-06-05T13:17:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\*Have you ever read the rest of the Chick site? Getta loada [this](http://www.chick.com/articles/testimonies/)! \*\* I loved this one: > [@](#): > > Our church uses your tracts in our _flea market witnessing ministry_. It was your tract Somebody Goofed that changed my life at age 12. —Florida Italics mine. A flea market witnessing ministry? What, get a cheap diamond ring and the salvation you couldn’t buy at a regular store? I’m gonna start my own flea market atheist ministry–and just not have a flea market at all. It’ll just be an empty booth. That’ll show 'em. ---
**Author:** ![Equal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Equal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Equal)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-life-is-now-complete-or-more-insanity-from-jack-chick/179682/69 "2003-06-05T13:28:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ogre \* > \*\*And God is love, huh? :dubious: \*\* Yes. But He is also Justice. Payback time? Yes. You think NO one is guilty? Though that executioner has a strong stomach (When’s lunch?) ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-life-is-now-complete-or-more-insanity-from-jack-chick/179682/70 "2003-06-05T15:05:44Z")
Personally I liked the collection of heads the executioner kept. > [@](#): > > Our church uses your tracts in our flea market witnessing ministry. I know, somebody already posted that. Still it’s the damn funniest thing I have read in a while. It’s worth repeating. “Hey You! Yeah, you buying the “hot” pair of Nikes for $15.00. Repent!” Bob has developed quite the thing for ol’ Damien. It’s always nice to see true love blossom. **gobear** , would a geopolitical climax involve entire nations or just the leaders? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-life-is-now-complete-or-more-insanity-from-jack-chick/179682/71 "2003-06-05T16:09:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by swampbear \* > \*\*gobear, would a geopolitical climax involve entire nations or just the leaders? 😃 \*\* Ugh! I did **not** need the image of a Bush/Blair/Putin/Sharon/Arafat five-way stuck in my head! _pfah!_ ---
**Author:** ![Kantalooppi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a5b964/32.png) [@Kantalooppi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kantalooppi)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-life-is-now-complete-or-more-insanity-from-jack-chick/179682/72 "2003-06-05T17:12:32Z")
> [@](#): > > And since Damien is already part of Bob’s crew, we didn’t even get to see anyone’s existing belief system torn to shreds in a matter of moments! Although we got to see Damien, who has been a part of Bob’s posse for some time (I mean, he even lives in his house!) apparently only now learning about that whole Apocalypse thang. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-life-is-now-complete-or-more-insanity-from-jack-chick/179682/73 "2003-06-05T17:22:24Z")
> [@](#): > > Yes. But He is also Justice. > Payback time? > Yes. You think NO one is guilty? > > Though that executioner has a strong stomach (When’s lunch?) At the risk of starting a war, so God has to punish us for things that he could have prevented to begin with. Or, he killed his own son to solve a problem he created in the first place, being omnipotent, and all? :dubious::dubious: ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-life-is-now-complete-or-more-insanity-from-jack-chick/179682/74 "2003-06-05T18:15:00Z")
Well **Ogre** , free will’s a bitch. ::_shrug_:: If God made it so everyone could do no wrong, no one would ever learn anything or grow as a person. Life is about making mistakes, admitting them, and learning from the experience. If God prevented all evil, He would prevent all growth. Anyway, the fire and brimstone God of guys like Jack isn’t the way most Christians see Him. We don’t have a supernatural Charles Bronson sitting in the clouds and waiting to open a six pack of whupass on fans of the Harry Potter books. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-life-is-now-complete-or-more-insanity-from-jack-chick/179682/75 "2003-06-05T18:37:16Z")
> [@](#): > > Well Ogre, free will’s a bitch. ::shrug:: If God made it so everyone could do no wrong, no one would ever learn anything or grow as a person. Life is about making mistakes, admitting them, and learning from the experience. If God prevented all evil, He would prevent all growth. No, he could have made it any way he chose. He’s omnipotent, you see. And it wasn’t that he didn’t _prevent_ evil. He _created_ it. And since he’s omnipotent and omniscient, he could have easily provided for “growth” while not having some of the greater atrocities in history. ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-life-is-now-complete-or-more-insanity-from-jack-chick/179682/76 "2003-06-05T18:51:44Z")
Uh Huh Jack. Righty-ho. But can you tell me EXACTLY where the Ark reappears from? Did Indiana Jones get it back from the Nazis, or what? The rest of the comic appears to be fiction too. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-life-is-now-complete-or-more-insanity-from-jack-chick/179682/77 "2003-06-05T19:27:12Z")
The amazing thing to me is that Jack’s not alone…there are Americans who are highly involved in actively trying to breed a perfectly red heifer so it can be used as a sacrifice to purify the new Jewish Temple. Yosef Elboim spent years making priestly raiment _precisely_ as was described in the OT for the day when the Temple would be rebuilt. In 1969, Dennis Michael Rohan walked into the Al-Aqsa Mosque and poured kerosene on the priceless pulpit, placed there by Saladin. He lit it, hoping that the conflagration would make the Jews rise up and destroy the Dome of the Rock. There are hundreds of other examples. Read Gershom Gorenberg’s _The End of Days: Fundamentalism and the Struggle for the Temple Mount_ for an excellent treatment. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-life-is-now-complete-or-more-insanity-from-jack-chick/179682/78 "2003-06-05T19:49:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by A Monkey With a Gun \* > \*\* We don’t have a supernatural Charles Bronson sitting in the clouds and waiting to open a six pack of whupass on fans of the Harry Potter books. \*\* Now THAT would make an interesting tract! Anyone care to make that dream a reality? ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-life-is-now-complete-or-more-insanity-from-jack-chick/179682/79 "2003-06-05T20:46:23Z")
Sorry, I had to write the opening of “Jesus II” first. We see three men sitting in an old, wooden shack playing a card game of some kind. They are sweaty, and dirty, and obviously fugitives on the run. It’s straight out of an old Sergio Leone movie. Suddenly, a STRANGER kicks the door in. Wind swirls in from outside, filling the doorway with sand. He is dressed like the MAN WITH NO NAME, serape, hat, cigar. The three men at the table look up, they obviously recognize him, but don’t dare speak. STRANGER 'lo, boys. Mind if I have a game? The three men look at each other, then motion to the empty chair. The STRANGER sits across from the evillest, worriedest looking man, and the card game begins. The original three trade worried glances, Sergio Leone-style, as the cards are dealt out. STRANGER Call. They all slap down their hands, the worried-looking man across from the STRANGER looking even more worried. The STRANGER looks at the cards. STRANGER Dead man’s hand? Today’s not your day, Judas… JUDAS You son of a bitch! They both leap to their feet, going for their guns. The STRANGER gets his gun out first and shoots. JUDAS grabs his chest and topples over. The STRANGER stands, his gun smoking. STRANGER Thomas…Peter…get the boys back together. And the STRANGER walks out as Kid Rock’s “Cowboy” begins to play. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-life-is-now-complete-or-more-insanity-from-jack-chick/179682/80 "2003-06-05T21:21:40Z")
The best part is the last panel: “This is no joke!” 'Course it isn’t. _You’re_ the joke, Jackie. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-life-is-now-complete-or-more-insanity-from-jack-chick/179682.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-life-is-now-complete-or-more-insanity-from-jack-chick/179682.md?page=5)