# My life sucks and I have nobody to blame but myself **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 30, 2010, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-life-sucks-and-i-have-nobody-to-blame-but-myself/562479 "2010-11-30T23:20:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![yokan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/7c8e57/32.png) [@yokan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yokan)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2010, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-life-sucks-and-i-have-nobody-to-blame-but-myself/562479/21 "2010-12-01T17:33:41Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Next, go look in your college catalog and see what it says about **Incompletes**. K, the class I was 100% sure I was going to flunk, the teacher said she’ll give me an Incomplete and I can take the final…at the beginning of the new semester. Talk about mercy! Load off my chest…for now. It’s a language, I’ll either have to beg my parents for money to pay my teacher’s friend to tutor me over the break or do all the material myself. Ugh… I’m going to try some of y’all’s advice, you have no idea how just reading feedback is helpful. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2010, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-life-sucks-and-i-have-nobody-to-blame-but-myself/562479/22 "2010-12-01T17:49:26Z")
Repeat as needed: “This, too, shall pass. This, too, shall pass.” ---
**Author:** ![villa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@villa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/villa)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2010, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-life-sucks-and-i-have-nobody-to-blame-but-myself/562479/23 "2010-12-01T17:55:37Z")
> [@yokan](#): > > a language, I’ll either have to beg my parents for money to pay my teacher’s friend to tutor me over the break or do all the material myself. Ugh… Or, the third option being to earn/borrow the money to pay for the tutor yourself. ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2010, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-life-sucks-and-i-have-nobody-to-blame-but-myself/562479/24 "2010-12-01T18:38:17Z")
Hey, I got a crazy idea. Now, I know this is off the wall, but just hear me out. So, the pressure is on is it? Well, how about you… …stop fucking whining and work your absolute fucking balls off for a week. Cut the shit, pull the all-nighters, and do what has to be done. You will be better for it. Meh, who am I kidding? Who needs hard work under pressure when you can just get counseling. Counseling :rolleyes:. Americas answer to everything. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2010, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-life-sucks-and-i-have-nobody-to-blame-but-myself/562479/25 "2010-12-01T19:13:17Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Repeat as needed: “This, too, shall pass. This, too, shall pass.” I love this phrase. another one is by the Crash Test Dummies: > [@](#): > > And if I try hard I think that I will see > Some good behind all of this ugly Maybe this is the kick in the pants you need to not wait until the last week or two before doing the work so that in the upcoming semesters this situation will not reoccur. I also was a “wait until the last minute” guy for doing schoolwork for a long time. Usually the work was not that good becuase I put such minimal effort into it. I was getting B’s and C’s. Then in my junior year of high school I almost failed three classes. My senior year I was determined that I would do the work as soon as it was assigned and I did and I got straight A’s my senior year. That made me feel really good about myself. So not waiting until the last minute is another way to help you feel better about yourself. ---
**Author:** ![PoorYorick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecccb3/32.png) [@PoorYorick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoorYorick)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2010, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-life-sucks-and-i-have-nobody-to-blame-but-myself/562479/26 "2010-12-01T19:16:46Z")
Kind of the same thing happened to me in grad school (not depression but another illness). The main thing is TALK TO YOUR PROFESSORS NOW! I know you’re scared to, but that’s the depression talking. The worst that could happen is that they will give you an F. In my case, I got Incompletes in 3 classes. I had to work like a dog to make them up, but make them up I did. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2010, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-life-sucks-and-i-have-nobody-to-blame-but-myself/562479/27 "2010-12-01T19:24:49Z")
> [@bucketybuck](#): > > Hey, I got a crazy idea. Now, I know this is off the wall, but just hear me out. > > So, the pressure is on is it? Well, how about you… > > …stop fucking whining and work your absolute fucking balls off for a week. Cut the shit, pull the all-nighters, and do what has to be done. You will be better for it. > Meh, who am I kidding? Who needs hard work under pressure when you can just get counseling. Counseling :rolleyes:. Americas answer to everything. You sound like you would make a good counselor. Sometimes people need a kick in the pants. (I’m not being sarcastic.) ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2010, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-life-sucks-and-i-have-nobody-to-blame-but-myself/562479/28 "2010-12-01T21:51:57Z")
> [@yokan](#): > > K, the class I was 100% sure I was going to flunk, the teacher said she’ll give me an Incomplete and I can take the final…at the beginning of the new semester. Talk about mercy! Load off my chest…for now. It’s a language, I’ll either have to beg my parents for money to pay my teacher’s friend to tutor me over the break or do all the material myself. Ugh… > > I’m going to try some of y’all’s advice, you have no idea how just reading feedback is helpful. GOOD! I’m glad it was helpful. Y’know, I’m also the kind of person who, left to her own devices, would put everything off to the last minute because “I work better that way” and “I’m laaaaazy.” and a host of other harebrained reasons. You know what I figured out? (And I only figured this out about two years ago, well into my 30s and still a student.) It’s WAY safer, easier and even lazier to work hard in the beginning of the semester and build yourself a cushion to coast on should things get tough later. A cushion of work (if you have a syllabus and a brain, you can write all your papers in the first month and turn them in as they’re due), a cushion for your grade (get A’s on the first three tests and it won’t matter if you bomb the third) a cushion on attendance (make all your classes the first two months and your kid (or you) getting sick the week before finals isn’t a disaster) and even a cushion of goodwill from the teachers. Establish yourself as a kickass student and that first impression will lead them to overlook a lot of slacking when you honestly do need to slack. In other words, I was able to overcome my procrastination with a hefty dose of cynicism and pessimism. Go me! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2010, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-life-sucks-and-i-have-nobody-to-blame-but-myself/562479/29 "2010-12-01T22:22:28Z")
You do have a chance. You fucked up, no question, but you’ll work it out. One step at a time. You need to sit down and write up a detailed plan of what you need to do to get the best results, and then you need to commit to implementing it. Every day you need to be checking things off your list that will dig you out of the hole you’re in with school. As for the other stuff - there’s worse things than being fat, and you can eat less/better, work out, and lose weight if you commit to it. Now is probably not the time for all that with how busy you are with school, but you can begin to build better habits. Also you can make more friends or reconnect with old ones, this is a difficult time for everyone (grad school, friends marrying off). Things will come together for you on that front, with time, and if you commit to it. We all have the capacity to change things we don’t like about our lives, but it sure is overwhelming when we aren’t liking much of anything. You’re going to be okay. Sounds like you’re smart, and did well in school until now. You’re just in a slump right now due to a combination of factors. The bottom line is to not let the negatives in your life overwhelm you into inaction. Every day, try to do some small things that will make your life better. Tidy up your room for 5 minutes tonight. Put together a nice outfit and wear it. Instead of just eating whatever (or nothing) for lunch because you ate way too much last night and there’s no point, have a salad. Go for a walk or a swim. Etc. Therapy can be somewhat to very helpful (depending on the therapist). So can meds. Call your student health center today, if you haven’t already. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-life-sucks-and-i-have-nobody-to-blame-but-myself/562479/30 "2010-12-02T04:51:56Z")
I didn’t read a word of this thread, but would like to congragulate you on the thread title. Once you realize source of the problem, the sooner you can deal with it. Best wishes! ---
**Author:** ![bubba\_jr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e95f7d/32.png) [@bubba\_jr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bubba_jr)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2010, 8:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-life-sucks-and-i-have-nobody-to-blame-but-myself/562479/31 "2010-12-03T08:34:03Z")
> [@yokan](#): > > It’s a language, I’ll either have to beg my parents for money to pay my teacher’s friend to tutor me over the break or do all the material myself. Ugh… You are one whiny pathetic SOB. I actually had sympathy for you until you whined that “you might have to do it yourself” Wah!!! Do you need help wiping your ass too? You’re rooms a mess, pick it up you pig. A few hours tops if its a total maggot infested shit hole. As few as a couple of minutes if its not a total pigsty. Wrinkly clothes, really? iron the damn things or HANG THEM UP, or FOLD them when they come out of the laundry, not that fricken hard, if you care, I don’t. Wet towel in the dryer will do it, and just wearing them for a bit will do it. I was the worst college student ever. But when push came to shove I busted my ass. WhyNot had some awesome advice. Do it early. My best college success came when I treated it like a job. I’ve always been an early riser, so I did 8-4. Library between classes so I wasn’t tempted to watch Beavis and ButtHead. Occcasionally I had to “work” overtime, but not often once I treated it like a job. Get your ass in gear, I’ve been where you are at, and seriously, just get your ass in gear. You already know what needs to be done, just do it. Doing it sucks, but having it done is just such a giant relief that its worth the bit of suckitude of actually doing it. ---
**Author:** ![iamnotbatman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/858c86/32.png) [@iamnotbatman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamnotbatman)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2010, 8:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-life-sucks-and-i-have-nobody-to-blame-but-myself/562479/32 "2010-12-03T08:55:52Z")
You’re in grad school? Do you like what you are doing? Sounds like you might not. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2010, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-life-sucks-and-i-have-nobody-to-blame-but-myself/562479/33 "2010-12-03T08:56:45Z")
> [@yokan](#): > > counselling department has a fucking waiting list… If it helps, consider that the counseling department has a wait list because there are a lot of other students who are having the same sort of problems you are, and they’re getting help with solving them. You can, too. Anyway, I think this sort of thread really fits better in MPSIMS than in the Pit, so I’m’a move it over there for you. ---
**Author:** ![robby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robby/32/11048_2.png) [@robby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robby)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-life-sucks-and-i-have-nobody-to-blame-but-myself/562479/34 "2010-12-05T04:14:16Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > …Next, go look in your college catalog and see what it says about **Incompletes**. Not the same as a Withdrawal, it gives you more time (generally up to one semester) to finish the course requirements and then it will be changed to the grade your work earns. If you can’t get the work done, the grade will turn to an F, but since that’s what you’re looking at anyhow, it’s worth it to give yourself some more time. Incompletes are usually given for medical emergencies, births or deaths in the family, disruption due to a move or job change, etc. Depression is a medical condition, and therefore usually qualifies as a genuine reason for an Incomplete. You’ll have to talk to your teachers to get them to sign the forms with you. > [@yokan](#): > > K, the class I was 100% sure I was going to flunk, the teacher said she’ll give me an Incomplete and I can take the final…at the beginning of the new semester. Talk about mercy! Load off my chest…for now. It’s a language, I’ll either have to beg my parents for money to pay my teacher’s friend to tutor me over the break or do all the material myself. Ugh… > > I’m going to try some of y’all’s advice, you have no idea how just reading feedback is helpful. I want to second the advice to look into an “Incomplete.” Years ago, I was working full time as an officer in the Navy, as well as being a part-time grad student. I was also married, and when my son was born, everything kind of got away from me one semester. I was sure I was going to fail this one laboratory course, which required hours in the lab along with numerous huge lab reports. Between my job and family obligations, I just didn’t have the time to finish all of the work before the semester ended. I finally asked my prof if there were any options, and he offered an “Incomplete.” My university actually allowed up to _two years_ to finish an incomplete, with the professor’s permission. I later made up the course (turning the “Incomplete” into an “A”) and finished my degree. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-life-sucks-and-i-have-nobody-to-blame-but-myself/562479.md?page=1)