# My Local Branch Library and Tila Tequila **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 2, 2009, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-local-branch-library-and-tila-tequila/508658 "2009-09-02T18:17:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2009, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-local-branch-library-and-tila-tequila/508658/61 "2009-09-07T11:39:21Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > … There is no copy of Solzhenitsyn’s “The Gulag Archipelago”. No copy of Marquez’s “Love in the Time of Cholera”. No copy of Grass’s “The Tin Drum”. No copy of Mann’s “The Magic Mountain”. > > Lewis’s “Elmer Gantry”? Nah. O’Neill’s “The Iceman Cometh”? No, sir. Buck’s “The Good Earth”? Nada. Eliot’s “Four Quartets”? Not on these shelves. Faulkner’s “A Fable”? No thanks. Heller’s “Catch 22”? Not that I could find. … If any of these folk had hooked up with Tila, they would be represented in the labrary. The real tragedy is that so few great Americans have cornholed her. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2009, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-local-branch-library-and-tila-tequila/508658/62 "2009-09-07T23:51:37Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > I love it when a bunch of people on a messageboard that has more references to poop than I can count get all elitist. Maybe they should read a book about poop then. See? Everybody wins! ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-local-branch-library-and-tila-tequila/508658/63 "2009-09-08T02:09:22Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > If any of these folk had hooked up with Tila, they would be represented in the labrary. The real tragedy is that so few great Americans have cornholed her. Thousands of poor to mediocre Americans, though. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-local-branch-library-and-tila-tequila/508658/64 "2009-09-08T03:21:37Z")
> [@](#): > > I’m sorry ShibbOleth, but from a librarian perspective, this stuff is dead weight. Doubly so because they’re business books, which go in and out of fashion constantly. Do you know how many worthless copies of Who Moved My Cheese? are out there that haven’t been touched in months or years? > > Interestingly enough, Hooking Up With Tila Tequila is also owned by three smaller branch libraries. The last time one of them circulated was a few weeks ago. Does that make the main library “incomplete” because it carries your two business books but not a book the people want to read like Ms. Tequila’s? Just curious. This was one of the most surprising things that I learned about in Library Science 101. A library has to be constantly aquiring new books…and weeding out old ones. We were given the average useful lifespan of various categories. I think the rules (and this was back in 1980) said that most science books were nearing the end of their usefulness in five years, and keeping a science book any longer had to be justified. Other categories have different lifespans, but I do remember that business books had short lifespans, too, because fashions change. Last year’s bestselling business book is considered hopelessly outdated this year. If it’s any consolation, I’m sure that Ms. Tequila’s books will also be featured on the Friends of the Library clearance racks in the very near future. In the meantime, though, someone who is dragged into the library by a family member might pick up one of her books while waiting impatiently for the family bookworm to choose this week’s score of books…and might want to read it. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-local-branch-library-and-tila-tequila/508658/65 "2009-09-08T03:32:14Z")
> [@Taber](#): > > I bet Tila Tequila gets checked out more than Sartre. Though that really just pushes the pitting back one level to pit the people who would rather check out Tila Tequila than Sartre. Have you ever _seen_ a [picture of Sartre](http://www.voltairenet.org/IMG/jpg/es-wwwSARTRE.jpg)? Of course she gets checked out more often! Oh, wait. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 8:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-local-branch-library-and-tila-tequila/508658/66 "2009-09-08T08:58:07Z")
Libraries seem to favor “light reading” because it is what the majority of people want. It brings people in, and gives them the revenue to keep operating. Sartre isn’t really light reading. There really aren’t a ton of people who read Sartre, Faulkner or Steinbeck outside of bring forced to for a class. Most classes require you to purchase the book, rather than rent it. It kind of makes sense to keep them at a main branch rather than a satellite branch. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-local-branch-library-and-tila-tequila/508658/67 "2009-09-08T20:37:32Z")
Shawne Merriman should be sent to ShibbOleth’s library to fix things. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-local-branch-library-and-tila-tequila/508658/68 "2009-09-09T18:58:23Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > In fairness, Tila Tequila’s breasts are much nicer than John Paul Sartre’s. Oh, is it a pop-up book? ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2009, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-local-branch-library-and-tila-tequila/508658/69 "2009-09-10T16:34:50Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > True story: I read Ric Flair’s autobiography cover to cover. It was absolutely horrible… or terrific. I forget which. Splunge! ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2009, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-local-branch-library-and-tila-tequila/508658/70 "2009-09-10T17:50:10Z")
I read Ron Jeremy’s, although I didn’t get it from the library. It was interesting. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2009, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-local-branch-library-and-tila-tequila/508658/71 "2009-09-10T17:51:57Z")
My local library isn’t all that big (and probably has few of the classic titles **Shibb** makes an issue of) but it’s part of a three-county library system whose contents I can search from my computer at home or at work. So if I’m looking for, say, Thomas Mann’s _The Magic Mountain_, the copy that’s at the La Plata branch over in Charles County (a round trip of 2+ hours from my door) can be at my ‘home’ branch in a day or two if I click the “place hold” button, and type in my library card number. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2009, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-local-branch-library-and-tila-tequila/508658/72 "2009-09-10T19:00:41Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > My local library isn’t all that big (and probably has few of the classic titles **Shibb** makes an issue of) but it’s part of a three-county library system whose contents I can search from my computer at home or at work. So if I’m looking for, say, Thomas Mann’s _The Magic Mountain_, the copy that’s at the La Plata branch over in Charles County (a round trip of 2+ hours from my door) can be at my ‘home’ branch in a day or two if I click the “place hold” button, and type in my library card number. I once wanted some random out-of-print science fiction book that I didn’t see in our system. I asked the reference librarian, who put in the request for me, and the darn thing came all the way from West Virginia! (I’m in NJ) No system is perfect and no library is perfect, but the inter-library loan system is pretty darn fantastic. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2009, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-local-branch-library-and-tila-tequila/508658/73 "2009-09-11T20:39:41Z")
FWIW, our library system has opted out of the Interlibrary loan program due to costs. They’re also getting rid of desk staff due to costs and replacing them with self check out machines. They do loan and transfer books within the main library and branches. Also, I am not surprised the the business books I was looking for weren’t there, I just mentioned that’s why I was at the library. I am still surprised that we need so many copies of such a lousy book (I’m probably the only one posting here who has actually looked through it). I was not intending to slam the library system, but our society, for putting TT ahead of more intellectually nourishing books. I’m glad everyone hates Sartre - he probably wouldn’t have cared for you, either. Again, that was just one of many books that our sad little branch doesn’t have. It does carry many copies of television shows and some very cringe inspiring periodicals. Because that is what libraries are for, apparently. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2009, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-local-branch-library-and-tila-tequila/508658/74 "2009-09-11T20:46:24Z")
> [@Dr.Drake](#): > > Perhaps someone should invent a system where one large library could store the infrequently requested titles, and then some sort of interlibrary loan program could distribute them to the tiny branch libraries, ensuring that a large population could share these books without wasting resources. If only someone could come up with such a system, like the one I clearly mention in the OP. > [@ShibbOleth](#): > > To be fair, all of these books are available somewhere in the system. I can go there, or go on-line, and order them, then pick them up later. But, for me at least, a library is a place to go and discover new books. I can look at author’s I know and discover a work I’d not read before. Or something that catches my fancy at the moment. I should be able to lift a book and read the jacket and be inspired to take it home. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2009, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-local-branch-library-and-tila-tequila/508658/75 "2009-09-11T21:05:29Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > If only someone could come up with such a system, like the one I clearly mention in the OP. Then really, you’re just bitching and moaning about something that is completely unrealistic. No library can carry every book and expecting them to is a fool’s errand.\* \*\*\* Fun Fact:\*\* The book [A Fool’s Errand](http://docsouth.unc.edu/church/tourgee/summary.html) (written in 1879) was a hugely popular book in its day. One copy is owned by my local main library and it hasn’t circulated in 10 years. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-local-branch-library-and-tila-tequila/508658.md?page=3)