# My long distance g/f, no bees or honey involved. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 6, 2013, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-long-distance-g-f-no-bees-or-honey-involved/657647 "2013-05-06T20:18:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-long-distance-g-f-no-bees-or-honey-involved/657647/41 "2013-05-08T19:05:40Z")
> [@chappachula](#): > > It sounds like a great beginning for you so far. But you’re starting from zero, and have farther to go than if you were dating somebody from your own city. (Say, somebody who , after only one or two dates, you would already know fairly well. Just from listening to her talk — about her job, her friends and family, and her apartment , how well she maintains her car, you can tell pretty quickly whether , say, she has held stable jobs, or is overly concerned about money, or has experience taking care of children, etc.. ) > > Good luck!!! Some of the video chats have been at her home, some at work for her. She actually took me on a little “tour” of the place she works via skype phone app. I have no real way to determine how long she has worked there but she claims 4 years. I have seen her mom and sister on video chat, just wandering by and lean in and say hello kinda thing but I have never actually talked to them. I own my business so no big deal to bring her down to see. Most of my family is within a couple hours drive, but I may hold off on that till a later visit. I don’t really care about my families reactions since I really only see them for holidays so my day to day life is pretty much a mystery to them anyway. Mom and my one full blood sister are local and they will end up meeting. I will be putting a packet together of copies, all her return flight info, color copies of passport, family contact info, money, etc and leaving it with my sister in case anything catastrophic should happen to me or us that potentially leaves her stranded. She speaks and reads english fairly well so I am not too worried about her being able to manage without me for a few hours here and there while I work. I also live about a 10 min walk from a major shopping mall with 16 screen movie theatre and various other activities and things to explore. ---
**Author:** ![MN\_Maenad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e95f7d/32.png) [@MN\_Maenad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MN_Maenad)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-long-distance-g-f-no-bees-or-honey-involved/657647/42 "2013-05-08T22:34:08Z")
> [@drachillix](#): > > Boy aren’t you a little ray of sunshine. I’m sorry - I wasn’t trying to insinuate that you’re planning on pressuring her or anything, I’ve just read a lot of Dan Savage, and one of the oft-repeated themes is, “I flew halfway across the country to meet my sweetie for the first time, I’m not feeling any chemistry, and I feel obligated to put out because they’re putting me up/paying my way/whatever.” It’s just something that often helps reassure women that the guy really is interested in her as a person, and isn’t just looking to “get his money’s worth”. It makes you look even better. FWIW I think you’re going about this the right way, and I really hope it goes well for you. ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2013, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-long-distance-g-f-no-bees-or-honey-involved/657647/43 "2013-05-09T19:24:46Z")
> [@China\_Guy](#): > > What country is your lady friend from? > > I know some people might find it lacking a bit of romance, but there are countries where culturally people don’t necessarily put being in love as the top reason for getting married. It can end up being paradise, a good business or a trainwreck - like an awful lot of marriages I know about. 😉 Sorry I missed this, Ho Chi Minh City, Veitnam. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2013, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-long-distance-g-f-no-bees-or-honey-involved/657647/44 "2013-05-09T23:03:38Z")
> [@drachillix](#): > > … I will be putting a packet together of copies, all her return flight info, color copies of passport, family contact info, money, etc and leaving it with my sister in case anything catastrophic should happen to me or us that potentially leaves her stranded. . . That’s commendably thorough! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2013, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-long-distance-g-f-no-bees-or-honey-involved/657647/45 "2013-05-09T23:22:34Z")
I don’t recall you mentioning language. Do you both speak at least one language fluently? ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-long-distance-g-f-no-bees-or-honey-involved/657647/46 "2013-05-10T11:53:36Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > I don’t recall you mentioning language. Do you both speak at least one language fluently? Presumably – the only question is, is there a language they both speak fluently? ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-long-distance-g-f-no-bees-or-honey-involved/657647/47 "2013-05-10T20:40:43Z")
Honestly I think you’re crazy for hosting this woman you’ve never met that will travel around the globe to stay with a man she’s never met. But, I wish you the best of luck and I hope it works out. ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-long-distance-g-f-no-bees-or-honey-involved/657647/48 "2013-05-10T22:01:15Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > Presumably – the only question is, is there a language they both speak fluently? Her english comprehension is very good, she has little issue even with innuendo and sarcasm, her accent is pretty heavy but I manage. ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2013, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-long-distance-g-f-no-bees-or-honey-involved/657647/49 "2013-05-11T06:18:56Z")
What country is she from? PI? And innuendo and sarcasm is good 😉 ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2013, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-long-distance-g-f-no-bees-or-honey-involved/657647/50 "2013-05-15T23:04:10Z")
US Visa approved. Airline reservations to follow. ---
**Author:** ![Dorjan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorjan/32/12440_2.png) [@Dorjan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dorjan)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2013, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-long-distance-g-f-no-bees-or-honey-involved/657647/51 "2013-05-16T14:12:57Z")
Pics or it didn’t happen 😉 ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-long-distance-g-f-no-bees-or-honey-involved/657647/52 "2013-05-20T14:49:11Z")
> [@Dorjan](#): > > Pics or it didn’t happen 😉 Well looks like the doubters were right… A last minute “problem” came up and she asked for cash for plane ticket. Also claimed that a ticket purchased by me with a credit card would look suspicious to Vietnamese customs/immigration types. Something smells like fish sauce here… Since this pinged hard on the scam radar, I did a little cross checking, and inquired with a certain doper well known for being knowledgeable on immigration paperwork. I had copies of several passports from various ladies I had talked to. I printed them out large and took a long hard look at them. I found 2 that had the same passport number :eek: 1 of them…was the woman I had been talking to. :eek: :eek: So to exhaust the benefit of any doubt. I found an email form for information at Hoh Chi Minh city US Embassy, including the ability to attach pictures. And sent it in Thursday morning. This morning I got a reply: Dear Sir/Madam, Thank you for your inquiry. Please be informed that the image you attached is not a legitimate U.S. visa. If you have further questions, please DO NOT reply to this email but submit your inquiry again to: [http://hochiminh.usconsulate.gov/contact/nivinquiries.html](http://hochiminh.usconsulate.gov/contact/nivinquiries.html). We WILL NOT respond to any inquiry sent directly to this email address. Best regards, Visa Information Team U.S. Consulate General in HCMC ☹ Oh well it was a fun distraction for a while. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-long-distance-g-f-no-bees-or-honey-involved/657647/53 "2013-05-20T15:08:58Z")
I’d suggest just simply cutting off all contact with her, period. If you really want a little revenge, there are plenty of sites online to post pictures of people that are running scams on dating sites. You could post her pictures there so other people will get hits when they run her pictures through GIS. Of course, she’ll probably become aware of this pretty quickly and change her picture so I’d put up the name on her Visa/Passport as well so that comes up in a search too. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-long-distance-g-f-no-bees-or-honey-involved/657647/54 "2013-05-20T15:09:38Z")
Sucks dude. But good thing you caught it before it went too far. ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-long-distance-g-f-no-bees-or-honey-involved/657647/55 "2013-05-20T15:17:15Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > I’d suggest just simply cutting off all contact with her, period. Yeah… I told her this morning I know her visa is fake. She is basically trying to say the “travel agency” screwed her over and that she will get this resolved. yep, delete contact, block, all gone. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-long-distance-g-f-no-bees-or-honey-involved/657647/56 "2013-05-20T15:54:35Z")
Good for you for being vigilant. Also good that you distracted the scammers from taking advantage of someone else who wouldn’t be as vigilant. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-long-distance-g-f-no-bees-or-honey-involved/657647/57 "2013-05-20T18:00:33Z")
Aww, sorry it didn’t work out for you man. Sorry you missed out on whatever you hoped would happen but very glad you missed out on what really would have happened. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-long-distance-g-f-no-bees-or-honey-involved/657647.md?page=2)