# My Mom is dead. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 4, 2009, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-dead/516265 "2009-11-04T08:36:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![foxymoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d26b3c/32.png) [@foxymoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foxymoron)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2009, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-dead/516265/21 "2009-11-04T13:59:54Z")
Oh, I’m so very sorry for your loss. How devastating. Good thoughts to you and your family. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2009, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-dead/516265/22 "2009-11-04T14:01:04Z")
My sympathies, **Surly**. I don’t know what else to say. ---
**Author:** ![Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4bbf92/32.png) [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2009, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-dead/516265/23 "2009-11-04T14:04:54Z")
I’m so sorry, **Surly Chick**. My own mom passed away last year, the day before her 71st birthday. I’ll tell you the one thing I wish someone had told me: no matter how many family members and friends you have going through this with you, it will be a lonely process. No one else will understand exactly how you feel. But it’s not because they’re insensitive or uncaring, though it may seem like that at times. It’s simply because your relationship with your mom was unique. There were things only the two of you shared. So you’re the only one who really knows what it means _to you_ to lose her. And don’t worry about breaking down - you do her justice by simply being there and expressing your feelings for her, whether they’re expressed in song or tears. ---
**Author:** ![C3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/c3/32/3108_2.png) [@C3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C3)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2009, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-dead/516265/24 "2009-11-04T14:06:01Z")
I’m so sorry for your loss. I wouldn’t worry about breaking down while you’re singing or having trouble getting through the song. There is not one person who is going to be there who would not understand that. You wouldn’t be letting anyone down by showing your very real grief. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2009, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-dead/516265/25 "2009-11-04T14:12:04Z")
**Heart of Dorkness** , that’s a really good way of putting it. **Surlychick** , I’m very sorry to hear this. I wish you comfort and healing in the days to come. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2009, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-dead/516265/26 "2009-11-04T14:29:02Z")
I’m very sorry to hear it. My condolences. StG ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2009, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-dead/516265/27 "2009-11-04T14:32:04Z")
My thoughts are with you and the family. I am so sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2009, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-dead/516265/28 "2009-11-04T14:35:17Z")
I’m so sorry, **SurlyChick**. ---
**Author:** ![Hanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b3f665/32.png) [@Hanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hanna)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2009, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-dead/516265/29 "2009-11-04T15:39:17Z")
I’m so, so sorry. It is very hard to lose a parent. ---
**Author:** ![schnuckiputzi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecb155/32.png) [@schnuckiputzi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/schnuckiputzi)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2009, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-dead/516265/30 "2009-11-04T15:52:21Z")
My thoughts and prayers are with you. Don’t worry about breaking down – your mom knows you love her, and you are showing your love by singing the best you can. Take care of yourself – stress can hurt your immune system. ---
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2009, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-dead/516265/31 "2009-11-04T15:53:36Z")
~hugs~ I’m very sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2009, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-dead/516265/32 "2009-11-04T16:23:55Z")
Condolences to you and yours. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2009, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-dead/516265/33 "2009-11-04T16:44:20Z")
hugs and love ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2009, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-dead/516265/34 "2009-11-04T16:51:52Z")
What a terrible shock. My deepest condolences and sympathies to you. I am sure your performance will be extremely moving, despite the circumstances. You won’t let them down, no matter what happens. You’re in my thoughts. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2009, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-dead/516265/35 "2009-11-04T16:55:46Z")
Don’t listen to any of the funeral before you sing. Stick your fingers in your ears and hum if you have to. If possible, sing early. My condolences. ---
**Author:** ![taxi78cab](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47c2d/32.png) [@taxi78cab](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/taxi78cab)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2009, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-dead/516265/36 "2009-11-04T17:02:09Z")
**Surly** , I’m very sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2009, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-dead/516265/37 "2009-11-04T17:06:47Z")
I’m very sorry Surly, and I’ll offer prayers for your mom, you, and that you are able to sing. You’ve got a tough time ahead; I lost my dad when I was just 25 and now more than 20 years later, the sting is gone but I miss him terribly. Take care of yourself. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2009, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-dead/516265/38 "2009-11-04T17:16:04Z")
I’m so sorry. I know what you’re going through because my 84 year old Mum (who was apparently in great health and in fact was the official carer for my Dad) was suddenly rushed to hospital where they discovered she had terminal cancer and only a short time to live. Mum asked me to write and read her eulogy and (like you singing) it was really hard. My sister told me just to do my best and that everyone will understand whatever happens. After I got through it, I felt blessed that Mum had asked me. My parents had been married 60 years and Dad naturally did take it badly, so do see what arrangements you can make to help your Dad. ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2009, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-dead/516265/39 "2009-11-04T17:19:13Z")
That’s terrible, I"m so sorry to hear it. My condolences. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2009, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-dead/516265/40 "2009-11-04T18:11:35Z")
Oh, I’m so sorry, **Surly Chick**. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-dead/516265.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-dead/516265.md?page=3)