# My Mom is slipping away. She's barely there now. {She just passed at 91 and a day} 2023-02-06 **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 2, 2021, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-slipping-away-shes-barely-there-now-she-just-passed-at-91-and-a-day-2023-02-06/951772 "2021-10-02T13:00:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2021, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-slipping-away-shes-barely-there-now-she-just-passed-at-91-and-a-day-2023-02-06/951772/1 "2021-10-02T13:00:24Z")
We got a call from the Care Center that she hasn’t been eating. I went to see her today, joined my sister and soon after my brother made it over. My Mom is fading fast; she’s not really mentally there at all. Just little bits right now. My sister did manage to help her eat her yogurt and some soup which I think is more than she had in 2 days. This is tough, very tough. She talked a little bit about going home but she meant the house I grew up in that they sold in 1994. It is almost 2 years now from when we lost my Dad. I have no idea if she has days left or weeks left but it does look like she’s very near the end. She’ll miss 90 by a few months it looks like. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2021, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-slipping-away-shes-barely-there-now-she-just-passed-at-91-and-a-day-2023-02-06/951772/2 "2021-10-02T13:09:02Z")
Very sorry to hear that. Hopefully the transition is as comfortable as possible for her and your family. ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2021, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-slipping-away-shes-barely-there-now-she-just-passed-at-91-and-a-day-2023-02-06/951772/3 "2021-10-02T13:29:40Z")
Aw that’s rough on y’all, My condolences. Last month was rough on my family lost both within two weeks. Though I found it was a blessing to able to be with my Mom at the end. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2021, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-slipping-away-shes-barely-there-now-she-just-passed-at-91-and-a-day-2023-02-06/951772/4 "2021-10-02T13:31:55Z")
My Dad was still my Dad until the last day or so. My Mom starting slipping away mentally last June/July. It is rougher this way somehow. I’m sorry for your losses. This is tough. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2021, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-slipping-away-shes-barely-there-now-she-just-passed-at-91-and-a-day-2023-02-06/951772/5 "2021-10-02T13:52:43Z")
Give your mother a hug and let her know you love her. My mother passed away in 2017. Today would have been her 86th birthday. ---
**Author:** ![eenerms](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cdc98d/32.png) [@eenerms](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eenerms)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2021, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-slipping-away-shes-barely-there-now-she-just-passed-at-91-and-a-day-2023-02-06/951772/6 "2021-10-02T14:05:14Z")
Sorry to hear this. I told my Mom, who was in Hospice, I’d see her the next day. She passed away early am yesterday. She was Mom until the end. Updated will, and prepaid for cremation saw all her Grandkids and Great-grandson. The hospice nurse said Moms “know” when to pass away, when their children aren’t there. This helped us a bit. Not to feel guilty for not being there. Hug your mom and tell her you love her. She knows at some level. ---
**Author:** ![MoonMoon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moonmoon/32/2959_2.png) [@MoonMoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoonMoon)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2021, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-slipping-away-shes-barely-there-now-she-just-passed-at-91-and-a-day-2023-02-06/951772/7 "2021-10-02T14:07:55Z")
I’m sorry you and your family are going through this. Peace to all of you. One gentle suggestion: it’s very hard for for families to accept, but she really doesn’t need food right now. It’s perfectly normal for her to lose interest, and there’s really no need to stress yourselves or her over food. Follow her lead. ❤ ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2021, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-slipping-away-shes-barely-there-now-she-just-passed-at-91-and-a-day-2023-02-06/951772/8 "2021-10-02T14:31:33Z")
I’m sorry to hear about what’s facing you, sending my best wishes for you all. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2021, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-slipping-away-shes-barely-there-now-she-just-passed-at-91-and-a-day-2023-02-06/951772/9 "2021-10-02T15:02:55Z")
I’m sorry. That’s very difficult. ---
**Author:** ![asahi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asahi/32/8693_2.png) [@asahi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asahi)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2021, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-slipping-away-shes-barely-there-now-she-just-passed-at-91-and-a-day-2023-02-06/951772/10 "2021-10-02T15:09:12Z")
I’m sorry you’re going through this @What_Exit I hope that you and your family have had a chance to at least enjoy the last few years of her life so that you’re all at peace when it’s over - that and I hope that she’s comfortable. Come back and emote as needed. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2021, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-slipping-away-shes-barely-there-now-she-just-passed-at-91-and-a-day-2023-02-06/951772/11 "2021-10-02T15:13:16Z")
> [@MoonMoon](#): > > I’m sorry you and your family are going through this. Peace to all of you. > > One gentle suggestion: it’s very hard for for families to accept, but she really doesn’t need food right now. It’s perfectly normal for her to lose interest, and there’s really no need to stress yourselves or her over food. Follow her lead. Seconding both parts of this. My mother also stopped eating; some years ago now. We weren’t ready, but she was. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2021, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-slipping-away-shes-barely-there-now-she-just-passed-at-91-and-a-day-2023-02-06/951772/12 "2021-10-02T16:09:48Z")
It’s tough to lose a mom. I still feel it, 30 years later. I’m sad that you’re going through this now. Hang in there. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2021, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-slipping-away-shes-barely-there-now-she-just-passed-at-91-and-a-day-2023-02-06/951772/13 "2021-10-02T16:27:28Z")
We’re here for you. It’s going to be tough, but you’ll make it. ---
**Author:** ![pullin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c57346/32.png) [@pullin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pullin)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2021, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-slipping-away-shes-barely-there-now-she-just-passed-at-91-and-a-day-2023-02-06/951772/14 "2021-10-02T16:34:31Z")
Sorry to hear you’re going through this. I experienced it 2 months ago. Mom was declining due to Parkinson’s and the last few weeks went downhill very fast. I traveled to spend some time helping Dad (and just being there) when she got worse. I went to the hospice place one day and she brightened and recognized me – even managing to say my name. That night the hospice nurse called, telling us we should come quickly, and we got there in 15 minutes. But it was too late and she was gone. It’s almost like she got better just enough to say goodbye - then passed. I thought I was ready. But you can’t be. Not for your Mom. I wish you well and hope you’re OK through this. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2021, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-slipping-away-shes-barely-there-now-she-just-passed-at-91-and-a-day-2023-02-06/951772/15 "2021-10-02T16:36:01Z")
Hoping she goes easily. Sorry for your impending loss. ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2021, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-slipping-away-shes-barely-there-now-she-just-passed-at-91-and-a-day-2023-02-06/951772/16 "2021-10-02T17:13:09Z")
I’m so sorry to read this. Losing someone by inches can be more brutal than all of a sudden, though both will tear a heart into shreds. My thoughts are with you. ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2021, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-slipping-away-shes-barely-there-now-she-just-passed-at-91-and-a-day-2023-02-06/951772/17 "2021-10-02T17:16:07Z")
> [@Ike\_Witt](#): > > Give your mother a hug and let her know you love her. > > My mother passed away in 2017. Today would have been her 86th birthday. My dad would have been 100 this year, but he was only 59 when he died. It’s hard whenever. ---
**Author:** ![JaneDoe42](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janedoe42/32/14104_2.png) [@JaneDoe42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JaneDoe42)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2021, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-slipping-away-shes-barely-there-now-she-just-passed-at-91-and-a-day-2023-02-06/951772/18 "2021-10-02T17:30:57Z")
It’s always hard to lose a parent. I hope it all goes painlessly and drama free. ---
**Author:** ![Aspenglow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspenglow/32/76_2.png) [@Aspenglow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspenglow)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2021, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-slipping-away-shes-barely-there-now-she-just-passed-at-91-and-a-day-2023-02-06/951772/19 "2021-10-02T17:32:31Z")
Thinking of you, W\_E. As you know. My best to you. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2021, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-slipping-away-shes-barely-there-now-she-just-passed-at-91-and-a-day-2023-02-06/951772/20 "2021-10-02T17:37:28Z")
Very sorry to hear this; best wishes to you and family. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-is-slipping-away-shes-barely-there-now-she-just-passed-at-91-and-a-day-2023-02-06/951772.md?page=2)